Fastlane

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

Fastlane was Buddy Cop Show that ran on FOX from September 2002 to May 2003. It was centered around the Candy Store, a base of operations for deep-undercover cops with access to the most impressive cars, weapons, and other confiscated toys. Their motto: Everything we seize, we keep; everything we keep, we use. Their goal: infiltrate various big-name crime organizations and take down their leaders. Pretty much like Miami Vice, but in the City of Angels.

The show is notable for its licensed soundtrack, laundry list of guest stars, unconventional cinematography, and impressive pyrotechnics. Unfortunately, all of that contributed to the show's ludicrously high production costs, averaging at about $2.6 million per episode. That coupled with the dip in ratings from the move to the Friday Night Death Slot ensured its swift cancellation.

The cast included:

  • Peter Facinelli as Donavan Ray, a Cowboy Cop for the LAPD who was roped into working for the Candy Store after stealing a hundred grand for a botched car deal that ended with the murder of his partner, Andre Hayes.
  • Bill Bellamy as Deaqon Hayes, an ex-gangbanger turned narcotics detective for the NYPD. Returned to Los Angeles after his brother Andre was killed.
  • Tiffani Thiessen as Wilhemina "Billie" Chambers, the lieutenant in charge of the Candy Store.
  • Big Boy as Aquarius, Deaqon's link to the streets. If the Candy Store needs information or credibility, he's the one they turn to.
Tropes used in Fastlane include:
  • Badass Biker: The trio of female diamond capers in "Girl's Own Juice".
  • Casanova: Take a shot every time Van flirts with the mark. Two if he gets further.
  • Cliff Hanger: And an infuriating one at that. The Candy Store is dismantled while Billie is kidnapped and tortured, being forced back into her heroin addiction.
  • Clear My Name: Billie is accused of murdering a supposedly unarmed kingpin in the two-parter "Defense/Offense".
  • Cool Old Guy: Ray Ray, Van's father.
  • Cowboy Cop: Both Van and Deaq. They're supposed "51% cop and 49% criminal".
  • Dark Reprise: In "Defense", Van and Deaq have to participate in a street race and one brutal boxing match, respectively, to gain the trust of a kingpin. Cut to the next episode, Van has to chase down a rogue FBI agent while Deaq has to face off with the same monster boxer, but with hooks!
  • Fridge Logic: Ignoring how the LAPD allows this operation, there's the pilot episode. A trailer crashes into a rock and overturns with Deaq and a Shelby Cobra inside. He comes out well enough to pull a You Killed My Father moment.
  • Groin Attack: Ray Ray negotiating a deal for a counterfeiting job with a dinner knife in his eponymous episode and his son Van getting kicked in the sack while trying to arrest a surfing marijuana dealer in "Dogtown". Oh, and there's Aquarius threatening to come back as a pair of pliers to yank off the nutsacks of the heavily armed, masked marauders taking him hostage in the pilot.
  • Guns Akimbo: Standard for our two leads.
  • Internal Affairs: Subverted. One episode features the Candy Store being temporarily closed down by a stuffy IA cop while he investigated their operation. During the episode's climactic shootout, however, he saves Billie's life by shooting a bad guy who gets the drop on her.
  • Jerkass: Billie.
  • Les Yay: One shamless Fan Service episode had Billie go undercover to expose some lesbian criminals. She, of course, had to pretend to be one herself.
  • Literal Ass-Kicking: Van shooting Deaq in the ass to keep him from being shot by SWAT.
  • Music Video Syndrome: Just like its predecessor, Miami Vice.
  • Roaring Rampage of Revenge: After the beloved brother of a gang leader is murdered by a thrill-seeking lunatic in "Monster", Van and Deaq have to find the murderer before the gang turns the city upside down. Also, Billie in "Mighty Blue".
  • Scenery Porn: Was probably the most colorful show on FOX at time of airing.
  • Salt and Pepper: Van and Deaq, of course.
  • Spiritual Successor: Of Miami Vice.
  • Theme Tune Rap: By Snoop Dogg, no less.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: Van and Deaq. It seems like the only thing they share is Andre.
  • You Have Three Days: "Girl's Own Juice" and "Monster".