Friends/Awesome

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • Monica starts dating a man who writes a poem while with her. She is at first happy until the others tell her it is saying bad things about her. She confronts him to find out it isn't about her but about all American women. She comes back from this by breaking up with him... through a barbershop quartet.

Mr Pretentious!
You think you're quite the writer,
While your poems are unpublished,
And you work in a diner,
You're no God's-gift-to-women,
It's all in your head!
You are such a butt-munch,
(No, no-one likes a butt-munch)
And you're also bad in bed!

  • Also, watching Chandler defy odds and beat Mike at ping-pong, when he was going round for round with post-Flanderization Monica.
  • Ross' breaking up with Rachel in the season 4 opener. Every line a winner, with Rachel failing to make more than one comeback.
    • Apart from, of course, her final line in the scene.

"And hey, just so you know, it's not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy, and it IS a big deal!"

    • And related to that, Hugh Laurie putting Rachel in her place a year later.

Rachel: But he has to know how I feel!
Other Passenger: Why? He loves this Emily person! No good can come of this!
Rachel: I think you're wrong!
Other Passenger: Oh, no! (is about to put on his headphones, then turns back to her) And by the way, it seems to be perfectly clear that you WERE on a break!

    • Ross' lines in that scene are gold:

Rachel: We're over!
Ross: [makes fake blubbering noises] FINE BY ME!
Ross: Oh, I won't have any problem getting to sleep, I STILL HAVE YOUR LET--TER!

  • When the gang started expressing digust/dismay at the idea of Monica dating Richard's son, she pointed out their own relationship, er, quirks:

Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to, but... (Points to Ross) Married a lesbian. (Points to Rachel) Left a man at the altar. (Points to Phoebe) Fell in love with a gay ice dancer. (Points to Joey) Threw a girl's wooden leg in a fire. (Points to the box Chandler's in) Lives in a box!

  • Every time Tom Selleck guest showed up in an episode, he got a standing ovation. Every single time. Eventually, they would just reshoot the scenes without the Studio Audience.
  • The climax of "The One With The Prom Video". Frequently ranked as one of the single best moments in television history.
  • Janice telling Chandler that she doesn't care that he broke up with her for the 3rd time because eventually he'll always come back to her.
    • Doubles as Nightmare Fuel...
      • Also implies Genre Blindness, as she's married to someone else a few episodes later.
      • Well, given that they did get back together the following season...
      • Briefly, and then never again... Though she gives up on them as a couple with the birth of her first child.
  • Rachel fantasizing about having sex with Chandler in "The one with the flashback".
  • Joey telling his cheating dad and "The Mistress" off, outliving every oppressed teenager's wet, rebellious dream in the process:

Mr. Tribbiani: We'll go to a hotel.
Joey (blocking the door): No you won't. If you go to a hotel, you'll be...doing stuff, I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.
Mr. Tribbiani: You're gonna keep an eye on us?
Joey: That's right Mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof, you'll live by my rules. And that means: No sleeping with your girlfriend.

    • And the subsequent:

Joey: Now, go to my room!

  • Season 2. Monica was forcing Chandler to work out with her so he very subtly tears her down by reminding her that she's unemployed and without a relationship.
  • Chandler & Joey winning the apartment in season 4.
  • Phoebe breaking off the Cat Fight between Rachel and Monica: "Okay, now I'm gonna kick some ass!"
  • Season 5 New Years' episode. Joey was able to get Ross to kiss Phoebe and Rachel to kiss him so Chandler and Monica can kiss without anyone getting suspicious. He did this all within 30 seconds before midnight.
  • Doubles as a moment of funny, but in that episode where Joey has a party with his co-stars on the roof, everyone but Chandler gets let in on the secret, leaving the poor guy stuck watching a very awkward one-woman show. He comes back to tell them that he loved it and wants to see it again, with them this time... and the second the show starts, he informs them he lied and books it.
    • I believe his exact line was "I can't believe you guys bought this, enjoy your slow death." *flees* Glorious.
  • The One With Rachel's Other Sister: Chandler (having spent the whole day agonizing over whether or not he could ever be responsible enough to be a parent) stepping up and breaking up a Cat Fight between Rachel and Amy on Thanksgiving after seeing how much it is upsetting Monica.
    • He tells off pretty much his whole building when Monica was making candy for them and the building loved it so much they were demanding more day and night. Monica was cracking and Chandler just takes one look at her and shuts the whole thing down.
  • During season four Phoebe is told she can name one of the triplets she's carrying for her brother and his wife and decides to name it after one of her friends. She decides against Ross and says it'll be either Joey or Chandler and while the two argue over which it'll be Chandler takes Joey's dismissal of his name seriously and spends the next few days looking for a new one until Phoebe says she'll name the baby Chandler if he'll keep it. As soon as she's gone he turns to Joey and laughs, revealing his whole name changing fit as a ploy to get the baby named after him.
  • After finding out about Chandler and Monica in Season 5, Joey does what he can to cover for them, but it starts making him look foolish and creepy. In one episode, he winds up taking the fall for a pair of men's underwear at Rachel and Monica's, a camera set-up to record sex acts and finally a naked picture of Monica meant for Chandler. Instead of fulfilling their promise to make him look better or be more careful, they can only claim that he's a sex addict after almost carelessly getting caught numerous times. When the rest of the group confronts him over all this, it looks like he'll have to admit to it. Instead, Joey claims he slept with Monica in London and that she's obsessed with him as a result. He effectively plays Xanatos Speed Chess to pin all the recent craziness on Monica and restore his dignity.
  • In Season four, Rachel is moaning about Ross and how he's marrying Emily to Pregnant!Phoebe. Phoebe than proceeds to tell her she had a similair problem, when she was homeless someone told her he would give her food if she slept with him. Rachels asks how they are similair. Phoebe's response?

"Well, It's not, because mine's a real problem, not just boring highschool crap."

  • Joey forgot to bring a present to Emma's first birthday so he decides to do a dramatic reading of a children's book which seemed like a bad idea but turned out he was really good at it.

Ross: Thank you so much for that.
Chandler (almost about to cry) I was not ready for this.

  • Rachel beating up the girl that Joey dated who was too "punchy" with him.

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