Funny Moments (Sugar Wiki)/Radio

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

  • In the Charlie Brooker-hosted So Wrong It's Right, there is a round called "This Putrid Modern Hell" in which the panellists rant about something about the modern world that really annoys them. In the second episode of the first series, the third panellist to speak during this round was Lee Mack, who opened with an anecdote:

Lee: D'you know what I did yesterday? I'll tell you. I bought some milk from the shop. A couple of hours later, I bought a pasty... and I ate it. And then... I had a little lie down. And then, when I woke up, I went to the toilet. And then... I had a cup of tea. ... d'you think that was a particularly interesting story?
Charlie: Not- no, not really-
Lee: Well then can you answer me this, Charlie: why do people like you insist on doing Twitter?

There then followed a hilarious six minute argument in which Charlie tried (somewhat half-heartedly) to defend his and others' use of Twitter from Lee's denunciation of the service.
  • The comedy skit "Ti Kwan Leep", produced by the comedy group The Frantics, in which a master attempts to teach the titular martial art to a group of novices. The whole thing is awesome, but here's a sample:

Ed Gruberman: Listen shrimp, are you gonna show me some fancy moves, or am I gonna start wipin' the walls with you?
Master: Ed Gruberman, you fail to grasp Ti Kwan Leep. Approach me that you might see.
Ed: Alright, finally some action.
Master: Observe closely class. Boot to the head. [wh-thunk]
Ed: Oww! You booted me in the head!!
Master: You are lucky, Ed Gruberman. Few novices experience so much of Ti Kwan Leep so soon.
Ed: Ow, oh, my head...
Master: Now we continue.
Ed: Hey! Hey, I wasn't ready! Come and get me now shorty, come on, are ya chicken?
Master: Boot to the head. [wh-thunk]
Ed: Ow! Okay, now I'm ready, come on, try it now.
Master: Boot to the head. [wh-thunk]
Ed: Mind if I just lie down here for a minute?

    • And later:

Master: Have you learned nothing from the lesson of Ed Gruberman?
Student: Yes Master, I have learned two things. First, that anger is a weapon only to one's opponent.
Master: Very good.
Student: And secondly -- get in the first shot. Boot to the head! [whoosh]
Master: You missed.

    • And from the similarly themed "Last Will & Testament", about the reading of Mr. Muldoon's will: "And another for Jenny and the wimp." [SMACK] "Ow!" [SMACK] "Ow!".
  • "Out of Order" with Jed The Fish. How can you not laugh at a guy who calls himself a fish? (The fact that he sounds like he's high out of his mind helps too.)
  • During the John F. Kennedy administration, Kennedy-imitator Vaughn Meader recorded a parody album called The First Family, which got a lot of radio airplay. Even today, it's pretty funny; one of the high points is Mrs. Kennedy giving a tour of the newly-remodeled White House to a reporter, and carefully explaining how everything is a gift from "Mrs. so-and-so of wherever". Kennedy himself wanders briefly past, clad only in his shorts, provoking:

Reporter: ..He's a magnificent-looking man.
Mrs. Kennedy: Yes, and we decided to leave him just the way he was originally. Incidentally, he was a gift from-
Reporter: That's nice! We return you now to our studios..

To the rest of my Metro/Chicago brethren just what it means for your town to be Blue Collar: (Beat) IT MEANS YOU'RE BROKE, YOU DUMB SONS OF BITCHES! It means your city has has no money in it! And it means your city is going to remain broke, because they keep clinging on to this dead identity of being a quote-unquote Manufacturing Hub. Let me tell you what life is like being blue collar: IT SUCKS! It means getting up at 4AM to be at work at 5AM to get off at lunch, and have to be asleep at dinner. I hate that life, I will never be a part of that life again, and you need to let it. the bloody hell. GO!.

    • Immediately following the call, sound-effect applause was played, the hosts applauded, and the entire crowd that was nearby, since they were on remote, applauded too.
  • Comic musician Heywood Banks performing "18 Wheels on a Big Rig" live, with host participation, on The Bob and Tom Show. The last two verses in particular (Roman numerals and multiples of Pi) are a riot, since the hosts can't keep up with the well-rehearsed Banks.