Gantz Abridged

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
"THERE'LL BE NONE OF THAT PHILOSOPHY SHIT IN THIS ANIME. TAKES TOO MUCH SCREEN TIME AWAY FROM SEX AND VIOLENCE."
Gantz

Take Gantz. Trim it down to 5-7 minutes of sex jokes, pop-culture references, internet memes, and exploding heads. You now have Gantz Abridged.

After Hbi2k completed Berserk Abridged, he decided to take his abridging skills to another really bloody Anime. Thus, he chose Gantz. As of 12/29/2008, it became one of the few Abridged Series to finish (save for the Filler episodes, which were done as of 08/17/2010). Another was the aforementioned Berserk Abridged. Most recently, hbi2k has made one more episode called GAS: TFC, which is split into two parts that portray the filler part of the anime.

On January 9, 2011 hbi2k's YouTube channel was suspended for copyright infringement and all Gantz Abridged episodes (as well as the earlier Berserk episodes) were taken down. The claim came from VAP Inc., one of the producers of Berserk (but not Gantz or Vision of Escaflowne). However, hbi2k has mentioned on his Twitter that he plans to release the whole Abridged series via torrent. Perhaps unnecessary now, since as of January 27th his channel is back up, including every episode of Gantz Abridged.

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Tropes used in Gantz Abridged include:

Kurono: God, why is she so into Kato and not me? I'm the dark, moody loner! Have I somehow stumbled into the one anime in history in which the angsty guy doesn't have girls falling all over him?

Writer 1: "She's on the verge of defeating a villain none of the male heroes could beat!"
Writer 2: "FIRE THE OPPRESSION LASERS!"

Kishimoto: So wait, The Monkees have more cred than Smashmouth?
Kato: Wow, The Monkees have more cred than someone. It's a sad day for music.

Kishimoto: Oh yeah, shake the injured guy. That's smart. Why don't you slap him around a little while you're at it?
Kurono: Well, if you think it'll help...

Kurono: All I know is I'm about to wreck up a Buddhist temple like I was Communist China
Kato: Hey, that is not cool, Kurono. The atrocities committed by the Chinese government against the Tibetan people are no laughing matter.
Kurono: Yeah, that was kinda in poor taste, wasn't it? Here, I'll try again: I'm gonna fuck their mothers while they watch and cry like little bitches! Better?
Kato: Uh...yeah.

  • Fun with Acronyms: Making up a team name from the group's initials doesn't work all that well when the names in question are Kurono, Kato, and Kishimoto.
  • Gag Boobs: "Okay, seriously, that's enough with the boob jokes!"
  • Gag Penis: Kurono's dick (or T.J.) is apparently a sentient creature that talks. His testicles (Lefty and Nutz) seem to have the same ability.

Student: Sensei, Kurono's got a boner!
Teacher: Kurono, did you bring enough erection for the rest of the class?
Kurono: (Exasperated Sigh) No, ma'am, just enough for the girls.

Kurono (after summarizing the events of the manga): "It's gonna be a wild ride, so don't miss it!"
"NOT HAPPENING, DIPSHIT."
Kurono: "What? Why not?"
"BECAUSE THE REST OF THE SHOW... IS FILLER."
Darth Vader: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

  • Genre Savvy: Bishonen Kurono displays hints of this during Episode 18-19.
    • Death By Genre Savvy: The guy who instead chooses to snipe at the enemies from long-range with his guns is killed soon after.
      • Bonus Points: He was killed while saying that 2 guys would have been alive if they were Genre Savvy like him.
  • Good Feels Good: In the first episode, when Kurono got asked by Kato to help get a bum off the train tracks, Kurono's small heart grew three sizes and considered making meaningful connections instead of looking down on people. Sounds cheesy, right? It gets balanced out when the two get hit by the train, with the last thought from Kurono being "Well... shit."
  • In Soviet Gantz Room, dumbbell lifts you!

Kurono: Did Kato just try to make a funny?
IT'S LIKE WATCHING A MOOSE TRY TO RIDE A UNICYCLE, ISN'T IT?

  • Intercontinuity Crossover: Judeau from Berserk Abridged appears in the second episode as a apprentice cosmic maintenance man who wants to prevent the series's filler ending, But is killed moments later.
    • The Skull Knight (who never physically appears in Berserk Abridged but is referred to twice) appears at the end of the filler chronicles to see how things are going. Only to be horrified that the filler already started.
    • In episode 17 Zodd and Phil (or at least their voices) make a cameo.
  • Invisible to Normals: Subverted -- normals can see them, but just find reasons to ignore them. "Huh. Must be some kind of pride parade."
  • Jerkass: Many.
    • Special mention has to go to Gantz himself though. He kills people just for discussing phillosophy, physically and verbally abuses all the characters, murders an entire family of Salary-men for annoying him and oh yes, is a close friend of Light Yagami.
    • Kurono is totally this around Kishimoto as he basically tries to make her have sex with him in return for room and board.
  • Larynx Dissonance: Subverted. Kishimoto starts talking this way, until she clears her throat.
    • Also a homage to Berserk Abridged where Caska really did talk like that all the time.
    • Played straight with minor female roles.
  • My Name Is Not Durwood: Hojo, or 'Bishounen Kurono', as everyone else refers to him.
    • And Gantz's "Nicknames" for Kurono and Kishimoto: Bitchface and Tits Mcgee respectively.
  • No Celebrities Were Harmed: The priest from the Buddhist Temple arc is voiced by Arnold Schwarzenegger samples because of a transporter accident.
  • Not That There's Anything Wrong with That: Subverted, Kato is told that one of the bullys at school is going to rape him, and when he reacts negativelly towards this he is labeled a homophobe.

Kato: "There's nothing homophobic about not wanting to get raped!"

  • Pet the Dog: Subverted. Gantz initially does this when he brings Joe Salaryman back to life to be happily reunited with his children, and remarks that "sometimes it feels good to do something nice." He then get annoyed by the Salarymans' antics and kills all of them. Doesn't stop the rest of the cast from mistaking him from having a Hidden Heart of Gold.
    • In the final episode, Gantz awards Kurono 8 points, bringing his total up to 46. One might recall that in their previous mission, Gantz told him he HAD been about to give him 38 points, but gave him nothing because Kurono had been making fun of him for the Salaryman incident. Given his tone when he declares "almost halfway there!" one can't help but get the impression that he went ahead and gave Kurono those 38 points out of sympathy.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: Subverted. Episode 17 has the Red Oni and the Green Oni. For additional humor, the subversion was lampshaded.
    • Although Japanese only recently began to have different words for the two colors, so plenty of blue oni have been green.
    • Better yet, they're a Zodd and Phil cameo.
  • Rule 34

Kurono: Kato, this is no time for porn! (to himself) Wow, I never thought I'd hear myself say that.
Kato: Not Rule 34 -- Law 44

Newscaster: Between you, me and the wall, it'd be better off with Barry White and Jello Shots.

  • Shoot the Shaggy Dog: At the end, after watching all of the friends and comrades he has fought alongside, supported, and bonded with, all horrifically and violently die in front of him, Kurono is the only one left, the only one still alive. He implores Gantz if he is free yet, if he has reached the requisite 100 points. Gantz's response? "YOU GET EIGHT POINTS, TOTAL: 46. ALMOST HALFWAY THERE!"
  • Synthetic Voice Actor: Gantz
  • Technical Pacifist: Kato... Just. Kato.

Kato: Pacifism head explosion!!!

"But I haven't got any BAGELS!"
"It's okay, I'm on the MUFFIN!"

  • Worst News Judgment Ever: "Well, it's been three days since two mysterious boys heroically gave their lives to save a worthless hobo, and three days in which absolutely nothing else newsworthy has happened..."
  • Wrong Genre Savvy: Kato survives a surprisingly long time, given that he believes he's in an idealistic shonen anime.
    • In fact everyone except possibly Gantz is this, with a huge number of characters dying because they think they're immune to death according to genre rules.
  • Xanatos Roulette: The entirety of The Filler Chronicles, and possibly most of the climax, turns out to be the work of Light Yagami

Ryuk: Wow. That was the most elaborate use of the Death Note I have ever seen