German Peculiarities

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
Jump to navigation Jump to search

  • Main
  • Wikipedia
  • All Subpages
  • Create New
    /wiki/German Peculiaritieswork

    Die Autobahnen

    Despite what some people in and outside of Germany still claim and believe, they were NOT a brainchild of Adolf Hitler. As a matter of fact, the democratic government of the Weimar Republic had planned several of them (the first one between Cologne and Bonn was finished in 1932). However, after The Great Depression they were practically broke, so Hitler could claim they were his idea when he had them built (as preparation for World War Two, of course). Nowadays nobody in Germany wants to start a war in Europe, but people still like their Autobahn very much. There's mostly no speed limit on them, which was unique in the world for quite some time. People who wanted to change this (like the green party) faced too much resistance and gave up on the issue. "Freie Fahrt für freie Bürger!" (Free driving for free citizens!) is a slogan used by car lobbyists and enthusiasts alike. But there are speed limits on the more dangerous parts, and a list of other rules are in place to allow as smooth travel as possible. One of these is that every vehicle has to be able to drive at least 60 km/h (37 mph). Especially during The Seventies, many new Autobahnen were built - during this decade, the network almost doubled its length. In 2010, Germany had about 13000 kilometers of Autobahn, one of the densest networks in the world, and the third longest after the US and China.

    Der deutsche Michel

    The US have Uncle Sam, France has Marianne, Germany has (aside from the female Germania) Michel: A guy who's for some reason always wearing a night cap. The origin is not completely clear; some people claim it had to do with the archangel Michael (patron saint of Germany), but that's not proven. So or so: As the cap hints at, this Michel guy is generally seen as pretty relaxed, laid-back, a Big Eater and drinker, and especially, someone who likes to sleep.[1] Gemütlich, as we say. And admittedly, very far from German stereotypes (except maybe Oktoberfest) like the ruthlessly efficient Prussia, let alone Those Wacky Nazis.[2] Sometimes still used in caricatures, as stand-in for the German people, if nowhere else.

    Das Reinheitsgebot

    Foreigners used to put all kinds of stuff into their beer, a practice that Germans seem to find simply disgusting. The Reinheitsgebot ('purity law') was an old Bavarian law stating that beer has to be made of clear water, barley (malted or otherwise), and hops. Otherwise, it could not be sold as beer in Bavaria. The law first appeared in medieval times, as many brewers were prone to putting hallucinogenic or downright poisonous stuff into their brew—stuff like belladonna, poppy seeds, vermouth, and nutmeg. Modern Germany adopted a variant form of this law, which required that the barley be malted and also allowed a few other ingredients (such as explicitly permitting yeast,[3] malted wheat,[4] and cane sugar to be added to the mix), and also allowing foreign beer to be sold in the country. Oddly enough, Greece (not traditionally a beer-drinking country) has the same law: the first king of modern Greece was Otto (how's that for a Greek name?), a member of the Bavarian Wittelsbach dynasty. In other countries, adherence to the Reinheitsgebot by a brewer is often viewed as a point of pride, indicating a dedication to quality; the American Samuel Adams beers at one point ran an ad to this effect, and the Tsingtao Brewery in China historically adhered to it, as well.[5]

    Our first national hero: Arminius

    Arminius, son of Segimer, was a Germanic man from the tribe of the Cherusci. At the time he lived (around the beginning of our chronology), most of today's Germany (everything west of the Elbe river, to be precise) was part of The Roman Empire. Originally, he served as a ductor popularium, a leader of Germanic auxiliaries, in the Roman army. During this time, he acquired useful military skills, learned Latin, became a Roman citizen and even member of the knight class. For unknown reasons though, one day he had enough of civilization, it seems. Around 8 AD, Arminius had become one of the tribal leaders. At the same time, a Publius Quinctilius Varus was the Roman legate in the area where the Cherusci lived. If Arminius feared for his power, or whatever his reason was, he didn't show it, but instead kept the contact with Varus - hence knowing exactly what Varus was up to, while the Roman didn't suspect a thing. In 9 AD, a Germanic uprising happened, and Varus took the legions XVII, XVIII and XIX to quell it. He got some warnings (by Arminius' father-in-law Segestes!), but decided not to care about them. At the area of Teutoburg forest (it still isn't completely clear where that was), the three legions were defeated and utterly annihilated by the Germanics lead by Arminius. Varus took his own life after losing the battle. Emperor Augustus would shout his famous "Varus, Varus, redde legiones!" (Varus, Varus, give me back my legions) when the message came to Rome. The German uprising spread, and the Romans had to give up the whole area between Rhine and Elbe.

    Roman historian Tacitus called Arminius "the liberator of Germania". And indeed, the Romans would never conquer Germania again, and some centuries after, the Germanics even went on to destroy the empire, founding their own states instead. Ironically, Arminius was almost completely forgotten at that time. Only in the 15th century, with the growing German nationalism, opposition to Roman Primacy and the Reformation he was rediscovered, and many texts written about "Hermann", who even got a honourable metioning by Martin Luther (as he was called now, although this wasn't his Germanic name, which is in fact unknown) and Thusnelda (his wife, who'd later inspire the term "Tussi", meaning roughly "broad" in German). Some people even speculated that Arminius was identical to the better-known Siegfried.

    Nation without identity?

    Germany is held accountable for the first World War I, and after those other guys came around almost nobody in Germany dared being a nationalist. This continues to this day: Prepare that Godwin's Law may - no, will - be involved in discussions about German patriotism/nationalism. Only in the last few years society doesn't bash anyone who dares show a tiny bit of pride or even contentment for being a German, we have to thank the 2006 World Cup being held in Germany for that.

    Das Wunder von Bern

    The most favorite sports in Germany are: Football, football, football,[6] tennis (preferably with Boris Becker and Steffi Graf), car racing (preferably with Michael Schumacher), boxing (preferably with Henry Maske, or the Klitchko brothers). This love goes back to (at least) the 1954 FIFA World Cup, first time when Germany won The World Cup. Which, probably, no one expected, for good reasons: The German football team had to play Hungary's Golden Team (which hadn't lost a game in 4 years!) in the group stage. But trainer Sepp Herberger decided to play Hungary with his reserves, losing 8-3. However, this just meant that Germany had to play another game against Turkey (which they had defeated easily just before), but then got to the easier side in the knockout stage, defeating Yugoslavia and Austria (who had suffered from a hard game at 40 °C against Switzerland) before the finals, a rematch with Hungary (who had to literally fight Brazil and later confront reigning champions Uruguay). The match was played in heavy rain, which the Germans had christened "Fritz Walter-weather", as their team captain was known for playing his best football under those conditions. In addition, the Germans were equipped with footwear supplied by Adidas, which had produced a hitherto unheard of design of boot with exchangeable, screw-in studs that could be adapted to any weather. This enabled the German players to wear their regular boots despite the adverse weather.

    Despite Germany now playing with the main team, Hungary got a 2-0 lead only eight minutes into the game. Still, the Germans fought back and leveled the score in the next ten minutes. After this, the Hungarians attacked several times, but German keeper Toni Turek pulled off several fine saves. The decision came in the 84th minute: German striker Helmut Rahn, nicknamed "The Boss", reached the ball on a speculative German attack 20 yards in front of the Hungarian goal, deceived the Hungarian defender by shooting with his weaker left foot, and scored Germany's third goal. Germany was the new world champion, for the first but not for the last time.

    Most of the TV recording is unfortunately Lost Forever, including the whole soundtrack. Fortunately, the Radio comment by Herbert Zimmermann has survived (and always was better known anyway, since few Germans had TV then). His emotional reporting style stands out even today ("Deutschland im Endspiel der Fußballweltmeisterschaft – das ist eine Riesen-Sensation – das ist ein echtes Fußball-Wunder" - "Germany in the football finals - that's a huge sensation - that's a real football miracle"; "Gott sei Dank! Es steht nur noch 2:1." - "Thank God! It's still 2-1."; "Halten Sie mich für verrückt, halten Sie mich für übergeschnappt" - "Call me crazy, call me nuts"; ) and especially his comments when Germany scored the winning goal ("Aus dem Hintergrund müsste Rahn schießen, Rahn schießt - TOR, TOR, TOR!" - "Rahn has to shoot from the background, Rahn shoots - goal, goal, goal!"), when Turek saved one last time ("Turek, du bist ein Teufelskerl, Turek, du bist ein Fußballgott" - "Turek, you're a Magnificent Bastard; Turek, you're a football god") and after the final whistle ("AUS! AUS! AUS! Das Spiel ist aus. Deutschland ist Weltmeister, schlägt Ungarn 3 zu 2!" - "Over! Over! Over! The game is over! Germany are World Champions, beat Hungary 3–2!") In 2003, a movie about the match was made in Germany, with the very same title: Das Wunder von Bern.

    Made in Germany

    In 1887, the United Kingdom passed the Merchandise Marks Act 1887, which states that imported products must be labeled with their country of origin. The purpose was of course for British costumers to be able to distinguish British-made products from the "inferior" stuff produced on the continent, and buy accordingly patriotic, for the benefit of Britain's own economy. This backfired quickly though, after said costumers began to associate the label Made in Germany with good quality...

    Today, the worldwide export of its products is one of the most important pillars of the German economy. The stigma turned cachet Made in Germany can arguably seen as significant factor which contributed to this development.

    Das Schwarzbrot

    Believe it or not, Germany has more than 200 different kinds of bread, which is the world record. Pretty much every little region has a local special bread which is produced nowhere else. And most of them are made of whole grain, which is supposed to be healthier than white bread - better for the teeth, the stomach, and what not. Combined with the fact that Germany also holds the world record for the most different kinds of sausages (see below), this means you could eat a different bread/sausage combination without repeating one, every day, for several decades. Nowadays brown bread can be sold officially as "Schwarzbrot" (black bread), but most people still use this term for bread made of whole grain.

    Die Wurst

    Believe it or not, Germany has more than 1500 different kinds of sausages, which is the world record. (Some people called the Germans disparagingly "sausage-eaters" for this. The Germans still like their sausages.) For unknown reasons, the sausage is also part of many German proverbs and other sayings: "Es geht um die Wurst" (everything's at stake), "Das ist mir Wurst" (I don't care), "Extrawurst" (special treatment), "durchwursteln" (muddling through), "mit der Wurst nach der Speckseite werfen" (to throw a sprat to catch a mackerel). There's even one of Grimm's Fairy Tales titled "The story of the bird, the mouse and the bratwurst".

    1. This latter trait was in the 19th century portrayed as a metaphor for the Germans' apparent docility towards their multitude of kings and princelings
    2. Although one of their slogans was "Germany, awake!"
    3. previously ignored as it was not known to exist when the law was first promulgated
    4. As much of Germany had a tradition of brewing various forms of wheat beer
    5. Tsingtao has since begun to add rice to the mash, but this was because barley at one point became prohibitively expensive in China--thank you, Chairman Mao!
    6. what Americans call "soccer"