Girl Genius/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


Barry: Now, Agatha -- this is important. You must always wear this.
Agatha: But why?
Barry: Because... because as long as you do, your parents can...protect you.
Agatha: Really?
Barry: Really.
Agatha: But how can they protect me if they're not here? That's illogical.
Barry: Um, it's...science.
Agatha: Ah, you mean you'll explain it to me once I have a sufficiently advanced background education.
Barry: Er... yes.

    • Doubles as a tear-jerker if you know what the locket does to protect her
  • Othar's reaction here.

Othar: No one ever takes me to parties.

    • Don't forget the reaction!

Gorb: Hokay, ve haff our own. *cracks knuckles* Hyu ken be de pinata!

  • Bang, right from the moment she "introduces" herself.

Ta-daa! I am here!

  • Lucrezia's facial expression in the last panel here.
  • "FOUL!"
  • Everything about this page.
    • "Horse! Pie! Horse! Pie! Horse! Pie!"
      • The return of the calming pie: "... still calm." "Yay, me!"
  • Anything with the Jagers probably qualifies as one of these for someone.

Sorry -- vos ve supposed to catch him?

Vole: Dere haff been three explosions so far, sir.
Gil (happily): Agatha!

    • The second coffee shop report scene.
  • Agatha's "alibi" for why she was sent to Castle Heterodyne.

Wilhelm: "Really? Oh, man, we need a good cook! Guy doing it now's a mechanic - and he's a complete idiot. I'd rather eat his engines." ... "So - what did you do to wind up here, anyway?"
Agatha: "Poisoned thirty-seven people -- who complained about my cooking."

Gilgamesh: My father once wrote a monograph on how to communicate in the workplace.
Dimo: ...iz dat so?
Gilgamesh: All seven Popes ordered it burned.

Gil: Don't Help Me!

Agatha: Why do you even bother keeping this running?
Circus Member: We need the eggs.

  • The doctor taking care of Klaus, right here.
  • Agatha sits down to dinner with the local royalty and inexplicably begins telling them everything about herself (including things she didn't even tell the carnival-folk she's been traveling with), then falls face-down into her tort. Turns out she's been slipped truth-serum in her wine. As she's being dragged off, she tells the prince she thinks he's cute.
  • A special mention for the men carrying Anevka's squishy bits.

Oggie: "Who vants to be my friend?!"
Geisterdamen: draws swords, hissing.
Henchmen: (immediately raise their hands)

Oh, please! What do you all take me for? I'm obviously not talking about the control group!

Wooster: "Who is that person master Gil just kicked?"
Agatha: Oh. That's Martellus von Blitzengaard.
Dimo: Ho! Dot guy? Smek heem sum more!
Agatha: You know him.

On my horze! Iz a nize horze!

  • Really, just everything about the Maxim Buys A Hat sidestory. The punchline is so hilarious I dare not spoil it.
    • The wrap-up is also hilarious:

Maxim: (striding triumphantly out with his new hat) Vell? Is hyu ready to go, or vot?
Oggie: (jawdrop) Iz dot-
Maxim: It iz.
Oggie: (shocked) Hyu mean hyu-
Maxim: Hy deed!
Oggie: (panicked) Deed hyu-
Maxim: De ol' man is fine.
Oggie: (astonished) But how?
Maxim: Hyu uzed my brainz!
Oggie: (suspiciously) ... who iz hyu, really?
Maxim: SHADDAP AND LETZ GO!

  • Krosp has fallen into a sewer. He's gone rigid with horror; even his tail is so stiff it can be used as a handle. This isn't just because he's drenched in stinking and no-doubt slimy filth. It's because one of the Jaegers suggested he could clean himself the way cats do.

Krosp: (after a long, horrified pause) KILL ME!
Lars: Can't blame him, really.

Zola: HATE! Hate and drugs! Lovely, lovely drugs!

Moloch: He'll learn. 'specially since, when she punches, she puts her hips into it.

    • Agatha responding to speculation: "WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU TWO?! ARE YOU TWELVE?!"
    • *raises hand* Can I have a pretty dress too?
  • Hole in the wall? Been done. Hole in the wall and the turret behind it? Much better. Hole in the wall, the turret, and a faraway mountain? Inspired.
  • Ferretina and the Fashion Clank skipping off into the sunset - (or wheeling, rather, in the Clank's case) - amidst a pink background of flowers and butterflies at the end of Revenge of the Weasel Queen. Everyone else staring in shock just adds to the hilarity.
  • Regarding who has been playing the fool around whom, and who wasn't playing the fool.
  • Agatha needs to get a semi-delirious Gil up and moving, so...

Agatha: Hey Gil! All of Paris is about to go up in flames, and Zola has her head caught in a bucket! Up and at 'em, hero boy!
Gil: (blearily staggering to his feet) A bucket? Again? Okay, I'm comin'.
Zola: (glares pure hatred at Agatha)

Agatha: Well, we've got to do something.
Gil: Yeah, this is just embarrassing everybody.

Agatha: And then the cascade effect that usually kills everyone and sets the lab on fire probably won't even have a chance to begin! This has a small, but fascinating chance of actually working! Let's do it!
Gil: This'll be great! I can get killing him out of my system and give him a hard time about it later!

    • Especially the end line: "No, No! It's going to be all right! We're just going to kill you, and then you'll be fine!!"
  • http://twitter.com/othar Othar's twitter. Full stop.
  • "Now I vill not just keel HYU - Now I keel EFFERYVUN! ....Hey....Dot is verra gud coffee."
  • This page.

Castle A.I.: "You are now nearing what I believe to be a major problem area."
Travek: "Um- You think?"
Gil: "Wait. This is Castle Heterodyne. Maybe it's supposed to be on fire."
Castle A.I.: "FIRE?! AAHHH!! PUT IT OUT! SAVE MEEEE!"
Travek: "...apparently not."

Zola!Lucrezia: "But he's [Barry Heterodyne] been missing for years. He's no threat-"
(both Lucrezias freeze and look around in terror)
Anveka!Lucrezia: "Do you want him to show up?!"
Zola!Lucrezia: "Ooh. So sorry, dear. I can't think of what came over me!"

Tarvek: Oh, great. So all we have to do is figure out where an evil insane genius would put a secret room.
Agatha: True. Well, let's try to think like a diabolical, paranoid, amoral megalomaniac. ...where would you put it?
Tarvek: Oh. Well, here. But--
[SHOONK]
Agatha: Ha! Perfect! Thanks, Tarvek!
Tarvek: Now just a minute!

Gil: You're up to something.
Tarvek: What makes you think I'm--
Gil: You're breathing.

  • "Well, there's always the torture room."
    • The man who, on the whole, is absolutely unfazed at the prospect of being beaten and tortured copiously has one thing he cannot stand: being forced to stand around in a waiting room that is out of waiting numbers and has inappropriate music.
  • Dimo admits he was listening at the door "like a grett beeg sneeky pents". And the reaction?

General Zog: Dimo! Hy am shocked at dis behavior!
Boris Dolokhov: Still, it was rather clever of him...
Zog: Hy said hy vos shocked!

Vanamonde von Mekkan:"...I mean, when all's said and done, it's just a bell, right?"
Castle Heterodyne: "I love this part."

Sleipnir: ...in a beer hall.
Gil: It's not just a beer hall!
Sleipnir: (seeing a barmaid) It'd better be just a beer hall!

Councillor 1: Two minutes, and she hasn't killed anyone!
Councillor 2: A new record!

  • Othar is a fountain of these.

Boris: You found him?
Other Tryggvasen: But of course! Allow me to present Gilgamesh Wulfenbach--

beat
    • Tarvek's expression just puts icing on the cake.
  • Franz, the dragon guardian of the Heterodynes' vault. His grumpy attitude makes him a walking laugh dispenser. First in his initial appearance in the cellars, then when he rewards Baron Oublenmach (Oublenmach is priceless here too), and then when he smashes a huge war-clank with the treasure bag. "Hey! I said rejoice!"
  • Vole's expression when he finds out Gil's plans for him. Plus the pure audacity of Gil's plans.
  • Check out the third panel. Agatha now has a new sonic pitchfork thing...the shape of which does not exist!
  • FOOM! The return of The Hat.
  • A small one, but when the 2/20 comic was first put up, it used "Hanger" instead of "Hangar". Whoops. The goof has since been corrected.
  • The background event to hearing Klaus' story repeated. Apparently Tarvek is the only one who can actually like Foglio's storytelling.
  • DuPree finds out what Vole likes best.
  • Gil's new and improved (and untested) falling machine.

Gil: I assure you, even if it doesn't "fly" exactly, it should reach the ground in one piece long before it explodes.

  • Gil's theatrics when dealing with Othar, and Tarvek and Othar's reactions to it.

Gil: We must flee- for it is none other than Othar Tryggvassen, GENTLEMAN ADVENTURER! Vanquisher of eeeevil!
Othar: Hey now! You make it sound absurd!
Gil: We will make a daring escape in my amazing flying machine!
Tarvek: Not the flying machine! Not the flying machine!

Now dis iz de part vere hyu tells me dot hyu luffs me for my brains!

Lady Astarte: I remember when your father come to England... oh, it must have been forty years ago. Such a flirt, that man.
Gil: (puzzled) Wait... my father? Klaus Wulfenbach? (pulls the corners of his lips down into a frown) His mouth does this all the time?
Lady Astarte: And his beautiful, doomed affair with Albia...
Gil: (jawdrop) His what with who now?
Lady Astarte: Oh, she was furious when he left...
Gil: (visibly falling apart) The man who thinks "romance" is a type of lettuce?
Lady Astarte: Furious and heartbroken... truly a tragedy for the poets...
Gil: (wandering dazedly through the background) He taught me not to shake hands with a girl until I'd met her parents!
Lady Astarte: But enough about old court scandals. Why are you here?
Trelawney Thorpe: We hope to consult the Queen's memory.
Lady Astarte: Well, of course. What about?
Gil: (shrieking) THIS IMPOSTER CLAIMING TO BE MY FATHER!

Albia: Princess Xersephnia, we presume. *blinks* Ah, is that-?
Seffie: (with impeccable savoir-faire) Couture de sucreries, your majesty. I have only just come from Paris.
Albia: (gleefully) Well, you look absolutely charming! You simply must wear it at tonight's celebratory revels! [...] Our court is simply insatiable for the new fashions from Paris! They will adore you! For now, Lord Womble will show you to private quarters where you may refresh yourselves and prepare.
Seffie and Martellus: Thank you, your majesty.
(immediately after Albia departs)
Seffie: (shrieking) Am I going to have to wear food in my hair ALL DAY?!?

  • At Albia's royal ball, Martellus has an attack of foot-in-mouth disease at the exact wrong moment and inadvertently insults the ladies' appearances after they spent all day getting ready. And the Polar Lords didn't have enough ice for the burn his sister and Agatha laid on him in reply.

Seffie: ... just so you know, I'm okay with you killing him now.
Agatha: Oh, I couldn't! When he dies, I want him to understand why!
Seffie: Well then, I do believe he will live forever.