Goblins/WMG

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


Wild Mass Guesses about Goblins include:

Kore is named ironically, and is made of almost entirely non-core material.

The spell he uses to temporarily resurrect the Fortune Teller is NOT speak with dead, it's Revenance, a fourth level Paladin (and cleric and blackguard) spell from the book Complete Divine. He is either playing a paladin of tyranny/slaughter (and has convinced Herbert to let him use non-core paladin spells as an abnormal paladin), or a Gray Guard from Complete Warrior that seriously stretches the limits of the "no code of conduct as long as you're lawful good" thing.

  • Revenance can only work on someone who's been dead for 1 round a level. If what you're saying is true, Kore is freakishly high level.
    • Talking Is a Free Action.
      • The revival isn't one round per caster level (it's one minute per caster level), the maximum length of time they can be dead before the spell is cast is one round per caster level.

Kore is the rerolled character of the player that was originally the low level human paladin that was killed brutally by goblins in the first few strips.

Dies Horribly will die horribly is not his real name, it's dies heroically.

The fortune teller who name the goblins has not always been heard correctly, and none of the others really seem to realize it, and he has shown to be courageous sometimes in the face of his own death.

Those aren't mutually exclusive.
  • Alternatively, in spite of Saves-A-Fox's lessons about determining his own destiny, Dies will instead CHOOSE to fulfill the prophecy behind his name for heroic reasons.
  • Or maybe he's just horrible at dying. Think about it: how many near-death experiences has he already survived?
    • Jossed. He dies. Quite horribly. And pointlessly.
    • Unjossed. While his death is indeed rather horrible, it doesn't last long according to the most recent update. That said, One could say he's fulfilled his fate, so to speak, and now has a new lot on life. A bit early to say, really.

Takn is a Tucker's Kobold.

That's why he's so famous among them: After leaving his tribe for an unspecified reason, he has used his superior skill and cunning for taking down many adventurers, some of them quite high-level. He's got some reputation.

The final party will consist of eleven player characters, one of each main class.

There were five goblins originally, and six more characters have joined Chief on the wall. Each of them has received more than enough characterisation to become a main character. It is clear that they will all take class levels and join the party - even though having eleven characters means that they won't be getting levels all that fast.

  • The badass hobgoblin is clearly a warrior. Give the guy some full metal gear, a two-handed sword, and a couple of feats, and watch him power attack and cleave his way through the enemy hordes, two enemies each turn.
  • Kin is going to be a ranger. She has a crossbow and everything. Her high intelligence might allow a level or two in wizard as well.
  • Pan becomes a druid: The close affinity with nature and earth will help with his blindness, and shapeshifting into a bear will be handy when he wants to hit even harder. Yala is frail and weak; but give her a Silent Spell feat, and she could probably make a pretty good wizard.
  • The jumpy kobold is clearly fast and agile enough to become a good rogue, and the drider could be a sorcerer. That leaves bard, which Fumbles can handle: He's not effective as he is.

Let's hope Thunt won't be mad when he reads his master plan here.

  • Jossed.

Kore is a Paladin of Slaughter.

There. Now we can concentrate on different matters.

    • 'fraid it isn't that simple: he has shown abilities that a Paladin of Slaughter lacks, but a Paladin of Honor (a core paladin, in other words) have.

Saves A Fox will end up saving a fox.

The fox she killed wasn't the fox she was supposed to save. She will eventually be forced to save a fox, which will lead her to question if the seer prophecies can be avoided in the long run.

The prophesy said when she'd save it. Unless they discover time travel, the prophesy can't be fulfulled.
  • Jossed. She saved it from terrible suffering due to its sickness.

Saves A Fox did save the fox she was meant to.

She's kept that tail all this time, and there's more than one meaning of the word "save".

  • Or we could turn it around a bit and say that she saved it from the village peoples wrath.
  • Dies thinks she saved it from dying horribly of Sunset Fever.

Dies Horribly will die horribly but get better.

Eventually, Dies will come to accept his fate and make a noble sacrifice, dying horribly to save his companions. He is then resurrected, possibly in a way relating to the metal symbiote entity.

    • I for 87 think it would be apropriate for him to die of sunset fever.
    • Well, he hits -10 here and comes back here. I think we have a confirmation.

Dies Horribly's "fate" is a condition, not an event.

He has been horrible at dying so far.

Kore is not a Paladin

They may say he's a Paladin, but all we have are statements. He never used any Paladin Powers—not Detect Evil, nor Smite, nor Lay On Hands, nor Summon Mount. He is said to be fearless, but that is not a demonstration of a class ability if he's hugely overleveled. He did use a supernatural ability, but Speak With Dead is a Cleric spell, not a Paladin spell.

  • Multiclassed with monk or Red Dragon disciple?
    • What's that got to do with anything?
  • Maybe he was a paladin once but somehow became a blackguard without realizing it?
    • Jossed. Thunt himself has specifically stated that Kore is a paladin, and will not end up as just a cop-out.
      • Maybe he's a fallen Paladin.
        • Jossed AGAIN. Thunt has specifically stated that Kore is NOT a fallen paladin, and that the reasons behind that seeming impossibility are material for RAFO (Read And Find Out)
        • In other words, there will eventually be an explanation in the comic.
    • Could be a Paladin, aka "Templar" or "Inquisitor", of Pholtus, the Well-Intentioned Extremist of the good gods.
  • Maybe Paladin just the name some paladins would call themselves knights and some clerics would call themselves priests so we could be a cleric calls himself a paladin.
  • It could be homebrew.
  • Given the moral and philosophical stance of the comic, it's possible that in Thunt's universe, alignment is not always absolute and objective; it is subjective for mortal characters. Kore firmly believes that he is doing the right, good, and noble thing in pursuing the course he does, and so keeps both his alignment and paladin status. Alignment remains objective for things like demons, though; otherwise, the Axe of Prissan wouldn't register as evil to paladin senses...
    • It needn't even be objective for demons: depending upon how one interprets 'effect that depends on', detecting evil might detect demons and any other creature with the evil subtype as evil regardless of what their actual alignment is.
    • Or a paladin might be able to detect if someone is evil by the standards of that paladin.
  • We've removed all doubt- in one of the more recent updates, Kore uses Lay on Hands- a paladin-only spell.
  • The simplest solution is just that Kore took Gray Guard from Complete Scoundrel, which means he can commit evil acts so long as they are in accordance with his order. If he is all there is to his order, he gets to decide what acts he can and cannot do, so he can do anything.
  • We got an in-universe explanation: he traps the souls of all his victims within him and can access their alignment as he sees fit, allowing him to keep his paladin powers regardless of his actions.

Kore is a Fourth Edition Paladin

They can be evil, and neither clerics nor paladins lose their powers if they wander over alignments.

  • We've never heard Kore refer specifically to third edition mechanics.
  • Admittedly, Kore showed up long before fourth edition was in the works, but hey!
  • The biggest flaw with this idea is that Kore uses a Speak With Dead spell (or an item that functions like that spell) to communicate with the dead goblin Teller. If Speak With Dead still exists in 4th edition, then it's a Ritual. Of course, there's the possibility that the world is slowly morphing to 4th edition rules...
    • He could take the Ritual Caster feat and be perfectly capable of casting Speak With Dead.
    • That comic was long before 4th edition and 3.5 Paladins can't cast Speak With Dead (only Clerics can).
      • And he appeared to be using an item anyway.
  • The entire comic (according to Word of God) was completely scripted before the first colored page was posted (on August 12, 2005) which was 3 years before 4th edition's publishing.

Kore will claim the Axe of Prissan

The thing favors paladins and cannot harm them against their will; and it will unleash a plane-eating demon if it is used in too many evil deeds. Where else could it be going? Unfortunately, odds are high that Big Ears will die in the process... Anyway, at the current update schedule, we'll find out in twenty years or so.

  • Apparently he's tried to before.
  • Looks very, very likely as of October 15, 2010.
  • When he does, he will find himself Blessed with Suck as it is imcompatible with his Dwarven steel armor and is incapable of harming Big Ears.

Kore will end up wishing for the axe of Prissan to kill him

Possibly while it is in his own hands, or possibly while it is in the hands of BigEars.

  • Alternately, the axe will go through him just before something causes him to Fall. Then, it solidifys in his skull.

Kore is the Paladin from whom the axe was taken

We're never told any details about Kore's curse. The Paladin from whom the axe was taken was female, but there is no solid evidence that Kore is male; Forgath mentioned that female dwarves often have beards, and with all that armor, who can tell? Also, the man who stole the axe never said that he had murdered its owner; Ears guessed it.

  • Not true - the massive chunk of exposition (Thunt likes them, and the way his schedule works, they're preferable to other options) states that the Axe lets each new Paladin wielder know its full and detailed history. However, this still doesn't preclude Kore having wielded it; it just means that the unnamed female paladin could have had it in between Kore and Caine.
    • The female Paladin who had the axe before Saral Caine was Dri Featherknife.

When the goblins meet Kore the axe will split him open

And then everyone will realize that Kore is in fact an ex-paladin who has been using magic items to conceal the loss of his powers.

  • As of 11/28/10, it is confirmed that the axe goes right through him, and as per the description, the Axe of Prissan only passes through paladins, thus, Kore IS a paladin.

Captain Goblinslayer is a Greenwood Ranger.

Or something similar. Not a crazy prediction or anything, just some idle speculation. Waaaaay back in 2nd Edition, there was a kit (think primitive prestige class) for rangers called the Greenwood Ranger that was a normal ranger who was transformed into a human/plant hybrid. Goblinslayer doesn't fit the description 100% (this was back when all rangers had to be good-aligned, for starters), but it could have been an inspiration to the author to some degree.

  • Alternately, he's got a prestige class or template from 3rd Edition.

Captain Goblinslayer has a split personality

When Goblinslayer is torturing Fumbles, he looks almost sorry at times. Or maybe just more insane. Also, the block letters applying to him occasionally change colors. This may have something to do with his apparently being half tree.

    • Sorry? Are you sure? Sarcastic false sorrow while torturing is the hallmark of many a Card-Carrying Villain.
    • His letter colours are consistently green/yellow throughout. This can confidently be assumed to be related to his dual physical nature. There's been little to imply that his mind is anything other than singly dedicated to being a total bastard.
      • Well, he does display what appears to be deep and genuine grief when Saral Caine is found dead, but it may have been because Saral Caine was his only friend. It's also been said right out that he's part Treant through magical means. So it could be that the Treant—or whatever it is—side is the one that makes him a Complete Monster. His human side tried to fight it at first; but eventually it was just too hard, and he gave in.
        • But, Treants are Usually Neutral Good. If anything, on the miniscule chance that your theory is correct, the Treant would be more likely the part that tried to fight Goblinslayer's monstrosity.
      • He might not be half-Treant; it's been implied that he may be half-golem, so the 'tree-half-makes-him-evil' theory might not be too far off.

Captain Goblinslayer is half Treant

Not sure if that would cause him to literally split down the middle as half tree and half human, but maybe he was a freak even among the halfbreeds. Not like he knew many in the first place; he was raised among monsters and mocked constantly by them. He lived with his treant father; the human druid mother died giving birth to a freaking half treechild. It made him grow to hate all monsters and torture them for fun and all that jazz. He can finally bully the bullies that bullied him so terribly.

  • Seems to have been Jossed here; Kin mentions that magic turned him into what he is.
  • 2009 June 20's comic implies that he might be a Half-Golem (Wood).

Captain Goblinslayer is a Half-Golem.

Given the June 20th, 2009 comic. The Half-Golem template represents a living creature with limbs and the like removed and replaced with golem parts. A Wood Golem would be the construct base for Captain Goblinslayer.

  • Can someone explain to me what about that particular comic implies he's part golem?
    • The only wooden parts on him, as revealed by the rips in his shirt after he gets impaled, are a single arm (with 'plates' of wood holding it on at the shoulder) and a half-mask thing on his face. Half-Golem, unlike the other Half-Whatsits of D&D, means "Magitek Cyborg}", not "crossbreed". It sure looks like wooden parts have been grafted onto his flesh.
  • If this helps this theory in any way, his face still looks like a graft atop his skull, but his body looks more like the skin in the graft atop the wood bits... However, he's still bleeding through the coal, implying normal flesh under the wood...
    • I thought it looked like embers in the cracks in the charcoal.

Captain Goblinslayer has epilepsy.

Grem's father is Redcloak from Order of the Stick.

It's simple. Some years ago, before the Order entered the dungeon, Redcloak started a little side project of finding more goblin allies on other planes; he arrived in a world which followed roughly the same rules and met Duv. An alliance was proposed for a regeneration spell; but Maglubivet had something against the Dark One or vice versa, and the magic wasn't allowed to work. Eventually, their duties forced them to part ways, but something already happened.

Plus, they're both Dark Messiahs with tragic pasts.

    • One theory about why Grem looks nothing like Redcloak: Duv sent a message after she found out she was pregnant, but Xykon found out, and, well...
  • On the reason why there may be a bad blood between Dark One and Maglubivet, consider the fact that it's against tradition for goblins to take any classes, which may suggest that their god may be against it. Both Redcloak and Dark One have classes (latter was even rumored to have prestige class). Maglubivet might have seen the alliance as encouraging other goblins to take classes, just like them.
  • Following that idea, Kore is a past or future version of Miko Miyazaki.

The Rules that govern the world are changing from 3.5 Edition to 4th Edition

When the comic started, the rule base that the world quite clearly ran on was obviously the 3.5 rules. But, bit by bit, the world seems to be changing. Kore has already been theorized as being a 4th edition Paladin; perhaps he (or she, as another WMG says) is slowly converting and, fortunately for him, acquired the "Paladins can be of any Alignment" rule before he went off the deep end. *This comic features a creature that looks like a Soulspike Devourer, a creature that didn't exist until the 4th edition. And this comic proves that it is a Soulspike Devourer- the process that happens to its kill is a trademark of the beast.

    • Jossed by Thunt, he specifically picked that monster out of the 4th edition monster manual because it looked cool. There are later examples with 3.5 rules, no rituals, the HP still work like 3.5, and no encounter powers. It has been stated by Word of God that it is a homebrew setting, and I, for one, will use monsters, items, and even rules from other editions and even totally different systems.
  • There are no barbarians in fourth edition...
    • As of the 4E PHB 2, there are.

The Shield of Wonder is changing the rules that govern the world to 4th Edition.

It summoned of the Soulspike Devourer.

  • Related but different: The Shield of Wonder does not follow any rules, at least for Summon (Monster) effects. Alternately, it works on magic from a parallel universe that works on 4th Edition rules and sets. Or is from a 4th Dimension universe since there are planar-travel magic.

Dies Horribly's "Special Arm" is functionally a bonded Mindblade

One of the psionic classes in 3.5 was called the Soulknife; its forte was manifesting psychic energy in the form of a weapon composed of faintly translucent, colored, solid energy—just like Dies' arm. Soulknifes could reshape their Mindblades into almost any form, from dagger to axe to greatsword. If this theory is true—and Dies did manage to make a flower grow out of his palm before panicking and turning it into a blade-growth—then Dies will be able to shapeshift his arm at will if he gets some more willpower and, more importantly, stops jumping at every shadow.

Saves-A-Fox is half human.

Admittedly, we haven't seen a ton of women goblins, but she seems to have more defined and human-like features than other goblins. She's also the one who actively says, "Screw Destiny" She's not the only one who dislikes some of the Goblin traditions (there's Complains-Of-Names), but she's the only one of the goblins we've seen who has done the opposite of what her name is. And rebellion for rebellion's sake is frequently considered a human trait.

  • I'm not necessarily saying Saves isn't half human, but i don't think you can say well defined features as being a trait of a half human as we see Complains in an earlier comic day dreaming about a very well defined female goblin.

Years of pent up loot is going to the goblins.

The goblins seem to be magnets for rare and valuable things at the moment. Chief has an amazing spear; Big-Ears has the Axe; Dies-Horribly has a shapeshifting hand; and Complains has become part-Demon, presumably granting some useful bonuses. Chief also remarked after the battle in the guard barracks that they seem to be gaining bonus experience. This could be because there are no other parties of goblin PCs so far as we know - even the dungeon delve at the Viper clan seems to be comprised of (admittedly dangerous or talented) NPCs. Coupled with their lifespans, which are generally guessed to be about 30 years, the non-stop windfalls make a certain sort of sense. You can add Maglubiyet's influence to top it all off - he wouldn't want his future champions to die poor and weak, would he?

Kore's player is a rules lawyer who talked his Dungeon Master (who may or may not be Herb) into letting him use his twisted justifications and keep his powers.

It explains everything and is completely consistent with the nature of the world.

All the horrible things happening to Fumbles are part of the backstory on his character sheet.

Note that he did not pick a real character class yet, and so he is not a Player Character yet. While he was a rather shallow character at first, he has been given a unique appearance, a strong reason to become a hero (or maybe just a psycho), and the set-up for a major personality disorder change. If he does not end up dead or catatonic by the end of the chapter, then he could be a rogue (or even a sorcerer, given the team's lack of arcane spells). If nobody minds more fourth wall breaking, then perhaps "Vorpal Kick-Ass'o" was a previous character design that Herb the GM did not find amusing.

The Goblinslayer is incredibly angry and bitter about his status as a Half-Human Hybrid

It would explain why he hates non-humans so very much and go some way into explaining why he's such a bastard.

Kin will end up as a villain, possibly killing Goblinslayer in the process.

You know she must feel betrayed at the others leaving her. And now she's the only monster Goblinslayer has left to torture. And the pent up anger he must have right now after his encounter with Thaco? (and imagine if he lets that slip during the torture) I definitely wouldn't want to be in Kin's scales right now.

Prediction: Kin gets horribly mutilated (and possibly driven a little crazy) until she breaks free, kills Goblinslayer, (denying him a final fight with Thaco) hijacks his plant half to replace her own missing parts, (Yuan-ti are good at the nature magic, aren't they?) and goes after the Goblins.

  • Jossed. She killed Goblinslayer, but still seems to be good, and is uninjured.

The World is in a Cycle of Hatred

As in, the PC races kill the monster races on the grounds that they're evil, as a result a group of goblins turn into PCs are fight the evil PC races, so more and more monster races join them in the fight, and so they become the core PC race while the old ones are now seen as the Exclusively Evil EX fodder that's killed on sight.

The freed monsters are going to become another plot path

They're "calling" character classes in the last strip, and while it might be a throwaway gag, it might be yet another segment of plot.

  • My prediction: The freed monsters will form an adventuring party and go on to do similar good deeds throughout the world, inspiring yet more monsters to take control of their destiny. Before long, there will be a full-scale revolution.
    • Alternately: They will show up near the climax, fully empowered with new character classes in the Big Damn Heroes moment of the century.
    • This has now been confirmed. It looks like it's been greenlit as a spinoff comic.

Captain Goblinslayer is dead

Goblinslayer died little after Thaco left him to die. And Kin has a new master that's kinder and/or set her free.

I deeply hope for this to be true because it gives Kin a happy ending that she should have. And it helped me stop crying about Kin being taken back to Bluemoon. Don't be afraid to show this idea has being jossed.

  • Jossed, unless the Wall was referring to his corpse.
    • Well, now he is.

Dies Horribly isn't his real name

It's Dyes Horribly.

Fumbles is going to pull a stunt from End of Evangelion

He's currently in the same state Asuka was at the beginning of the movie. Eventually, something really nasty is going to start happening to everyone else, at which point he uses Heroic Willpower to break out of the coma, kicks some serious ass (maybe in a vorpal way, kicking someone's ass hard enough that their head comes off), and gains enough experience from the concentrated Crowning Moment of Awesome to reach the same level as the rest of the party. The threat getting back up and beating him in a Curb Stomp Battle is optional.

Fumbles (to Kore):I don't know who or what you are. But I do know one thing: I declare my dodge on you, dwarf!

Captain Goblinslayer is from Gillitie Wood

He has the same kind of partly-tree body as Ysengrin.

  • Jossed. Ysengrin's tree is separate from his body, which is a normal (albeit extremely weak) wolf.

The Orb of Bloodlight is Klik

He/she/it got out of the mountain some time ago, which Duv hasn't taken into account, as she doesn't expect the Orb to be sentient (or able to morph and squeeze through tiny crevices). Klik is orb-shaped, and definitely powerful enough to be a weapon to be reckoned with in an upcoming conquest (both in itself, and its ability to create weapon-limbs). The word "blood" in the name may be a forgotten reference to Klik's Weaksauce Weakness against ordinary blood.

    • Jossed. The Orb of Bloodlight has been found, and it's not Klik.

Kin is going to aid Minmax & Forgath against Dellyn and join the party in his place

Forgath appears to have let go of her leash in the latest strip...

  • More specifically, she's using this opportunity to escape, but has stopped to watch and has had an attack of conscience because a second-level adventurer just bitchslapped Dellyn on her behalf. I fully predict that Min Max will more or less take care of Dellyn on his own, but that Forgath and Kin will be forced to work together to get his ass out of dodge. As a result, Kin will more or less join their party for now, completely contrasting Min Max's total stupidity with her incredible intellect. What's more, as a result of associating with Kin, when the party come across Kore, Kin's presence will be the reason that Kore attacks them. Forgath, recognizing his destiny, somehow convinces the other two to flee without him while pulling a You Shall Not Pass on Kore... Perhaps this might even happen very soon after the fight with Dellyn, with Min Max still being too injured too assist and forced to rely on Kin.
    • Confirmed; Kin is now a member of their party.

Fumbles is dead. But Senor Vorpal Kickasso lives.

At some point, someone will stick the moustache onto Fumbles, since he clutches it all the time. And Vorpal will reawaken, living up to every possible trope of fantasy warriors; the minute the moustache comes off, back to catatonic Fumbles.

  • Close, but he puts it back on himself.

The goblins' prophetic names aren't just random visions; they were all named for the benefit of the Player Characters who attacked the camp.

Other than correctness (which is, Dies and the fortune teller aside, 100% so far and still possible for Dies), there's not a lot of pattern to the goblins' names. Big Ears and One Eye are named after their appearance, Chief after his job, Fumbles and Complains after actions they take frequently, Dies after something that he'll do once, and Thaco's not even named prophetically at all. But all of them are named for something the party would notice during the big battle for the warcamp, and in fact for the thing that party would consider the most memorable/distinguishing/important thing about that goblin. Fumbles and Complains are the most obviously in support of this theory, though "Chief" and the appearance ones work in obvious ways for obvious reasons. Dies was presumably supposed to be killed in a particularly nasty way by the short drow, but the vision went a bit off the rails when Klik showed up (alternately, YAB didn't have the stomach to or couldn't spare the time to watch to the end of that vision and extrapolated from what she'd seen of that Drow so far). YAB was clearly named ironically, as a certain class of player is prone to do; Forgath did interrupt the battle to complain about how ugly she was. Thaco probably had some really lucky rolls one way or the other during his fight that left the players whose characters he killed complaining and earned him a nickname.

Kore is a fallen Palidin

He believes that he fell due to fighting evil, and therefor being in contact with it, so much. This lead to his theory that evil is infectious.

Kin is the Snake

You know how both of the prophecies that Minmax and Forgath have received mentioned "The snake becoming prey" and "friend becoming enemy"? Well, based on recent strips featuring those two, it seems clear that Minmax won't be willing to travel with Kin, and Forgath doesn't seem to pleased by that. My guess is that Minmax's trying to kill Kin will cause Forgath to break off their friendship, and they'll go their separate ways. If they don't attack each other over it first, that is.

  • On a related note, Forgath will be killed by Kore because of his recently-found sympathy towards monsterkind. Although Forgath and Minmax will likely still be estranged at this point, the anger over his once-best-friend's death will cause Minmax to swear revenge on Kore, perhaps even temporarily joining up with the Goblin Party to achieve it.
  • Doesn't look like it, with the recent updates. The snake might refer to the Viper clan instead.
    • With recent updates, it's still possible. Kin joins the Goblins because it wasn't the teapot in the Maze of Many (or for some reason she has to keep adventuring with them) and even she can see that Forgath is still holding on to a grudge from when he was still relatively racist and doesn't have a real reason for hunting them down (the snake becomes prey, i.e., joins their group). Minmax follows her because she presents a good point, she's adorable, and he might actually have decent INT at the cost of WIS or a stupid player (friends become enemies). Forgath realizes that it was a stupid grudge and asks to join the higher-level Goblins to make things right and uphold the spirit of Lawful Good adventuring instead of he letter (enemies become friends). For that matter, though, it could be about Kore finding the Maze of Many group (the snake becomes prey, maybe some Prophecy Twist mumbo-jumbo about Kore being revealed as an old friend of Forgath's) and this whole thing is kind of irrelevant to the final result, but that doesn't really have anything to do with the Goblin Adventurer group.
  • Complains is the snake. Look at his I.M.E.
    • A lot of people (myself included) think that looks like a tail with a scorpion-like stinger at the end. So it could go either way.

Herbert is a sympathizer of monster races

Herbert is a GM who's always disliked the Exclusively Evil trope and thus is running a campaign with sympathetic goblins, eventually extending to other monster races.

  • Better yet: Herbert is the Author Avatar. That explains the use of Thunt´s house rules, too.

The Tempts Fate strips are connected to the main comic continuity

Tempts Fate is actually Complains, either from an alternate universe, or from some point in the future where his adventuring experience has made him more Badass. (And change colour.)

Kore will either demonstrate a paladin power, or the group will notice the lack of paladin powers

This is finally a group that can potentially survive an encounter with Kore, even if it is by running the hell away. Either he'll summon his mount to try and run them down (forcing them to split up), or he won't and they'll wonder why the hell he isn't.

Kore's curse prevents his god from seeing him and so removing his paladin powers

The fortune-teller told Kore that he was cursed, but he claimed it wasn't a curse. If the curse is what enables him to retain paladin powers while "eliminating even potential evil" then he would see this as a good thing. (The curse might also distort his Detect Evil abilities.) It may or may not relate to the fact that we only ever see one of his eyes.

  • Further, Kore will die when Forgath (while dying at his hands) lets his god see through his eyes and spot Kore, thus removing his Paladin powers while the Axe of Prissan is harmlessly phased through his body.

Kore is Forgath from the future

Some time in the future, Kin kills Minmax, probably accidentally; the shock of the creature he had been defending 'murdering' his best friend drives him over the edge, and he 'dies' and is reborn as Kore, in a Darth Vader Killed your Father kind of way. At some point he stumbles on a rift in time and resolves to go back and 'right' the world by slaying all evil. That's why he hasn't lost his paladin powers; he only recently multiclassed, and he picked a god who lets him get away with the stuff he pulls. (God of revenge, maybe?)

Kore's Curse Is An Unremovable Ring Of Change Alignment

  • Think about it for a moment: As long as he wore it, he'd still remain a paladin, no matter what deeds he committed. Since it's unremovable (like many cursed items are), as long as he's not given a "Remove Curse" spell, it's stuck on him forever, so no matter how wretched he actually becomes, he stays a paladin, and Lawful Good.
    • Two weaknesses in this theory: First, being lawful good is only one prerequisite for being a Paladin, the other is not being a complete monster. Second, being forcibly lawful-gooded by a magic item should change your behavior AWAY from being a complete monster, not toward.
      • In a D and D universe, your alignment determines whether or not you're a complete monster (neutral evil and chaotic evil are the alignments of complete monsters), not your actions. Besides, read above concerning how Kore is "non-core" and you'll see that it's possible to be a paladin, do horrible things, and still have powers as long as you're lawful good alignment. As for the "lack" of a behavior change, here's a question for you: who do you think he's talking to when he discusses his beliefs and what he's about to do with his victims? He isn't talking to his victims, he's justifying his actions to the Dungeon Master. Kore isn't just cursed with an unchanging alignment, he's a player character! Probably one that has been playing the game for an extremely long time, to have created such a powerful, Crazy Prepared character with such an absurdly badass setup. Don't be surprised if he actually turns out to be the Dungeon Master's Player Character...
      • Except as said before, lawful goodness isn't enough to remain a paladin. The other prerequisite is to never commit an evil act. This means that he also has a permanent ring of change act alignment.

Kore maintains his alignment because the DM/Herbert is a Republican

Come on: slaughtering innocent bystanders, hunting down and eradicating whole swathes due to percieved evil (and thus "pre-emptive" strikes against evil), justifying TORTURE as a 'good' action... if that doesn't scream Bush-era tactics applied to a D&D setting, I don't know what does.

  • Kore's excessively long speeches explaining the justifications of his actions are also the only thing keeping him aligned as a paladin—by explaining how he (as a character) percieves his actions to be good, no matter how evil the action itself would otherwise be, he gets a pass. Either it works because the DM/Herbert agrees with the idea that if you say it's for the common good, it is, or either as a Strawman Political that he can't otherwise argue with because it would make him look like a hypocrite.

Kore is a construct made by a fallen Paladin

Basing this on the fact that Kore seems to be more metal under his boots. A paladin who lost his powers due to his deplorable actions (ie killing innocent monsters) and forged a construct to continue his work for him. Kore is not sapient enough to know what he's doing is wrong, therefore in his own mind he's still lawful good. However, since it's 3e, ANYONE can be a player character.

Ears was only the first dramatic/traumatic level-up

When Big Ears went up against Saral Caine, it was a win that seemed beyond what he'd be able to solo in the first couple levels. He underwent a highly dramatic trial and received a beyond awesome level-up with armor, weapon, reaffirmation of his character, backstory, the whole nine yards.

Now consider if each of the other characters undergoes something just as formative... but switch from "dramatic" to "traumatic" here, since it seems to be the way the mood is going. Recently it looked like Chief was going to get his moment just fighting Kore alone; now it still might be Chief's moment, in a "must suffer and die and be reborn to become ultimate healer" style (similar to how, in an Elf Quest backstory issue, the main healer nearly killed herself seeking out the nature of death so she could better fight it). But the current fight needn't be Chief's big moment; it could be the big moment for Fumbles, Thaco, or Complains (who seems more likely, given his friendship with Chief). If it's the big level-up moment for that person, he's about to go above and beyond the group in his actions, giving us a moment to remember.

Dies Horribly was deliberately misnamed.

Given what happened to Chief, Dies might be the prophesized Chief who will lead them to glory. So they switched up the names to prevent a civil war.

  • It's been stated that Thaco was the prophetic Chief. That doesn't preclude the possibility that Chief and Dies Horribly were switched, either deliberately for some reason or by accident, though.

About the eyes.

When Goblins are all in a bloodlust/combat-ready mindset, their eyes turn all black with a glittering white in the center. This could be a representation of pupil dilation, which helps people and animals see some stuff better.

The Axe of Prissan doesn't actually contain a demon.

The Axe radiates evil because it IS evil. It's an artifact that brainwashes paladins who hold it into believing it is. Perhaps it selfishly adapts itself to be the ideal weapon for whoever touches it.

Dellyn the Goblinslayer, Saral Caine, and K'seliss are all Hybrids made by a wizard.

When Dies Horribly first meets K'seliss, Saves-a-Fox mentions a mad wizard who had a thing for building half-breed constructs, and that there's a Half-human/Half-Stone Giant living in Brassmoon city. Saral Caine is human sized, with a stone like complexion. Furthermore, his death at the hands of Ears seems to leave an emotional mark on Dellyn, enough to make him cry Manly Tears at least. Considering he's half plant and treats Saral Caine like a brother, it's possible that they were both made by the same wizard.

Thaco's destiny is to succeed in injuring a being with Armor Class 0.

As the name implies.

Kore is the dwarf priests foil.

Their both Dwarfs. They both have holy alignments as their class. Paladins are supposed to be good guys whereas Clerics are supposed to just need their gods approval, right? They both saw somebody plead for their son's life. One for his adult monster son, and one for his adopted dwarf small child son. One sees that there might be more to the monsters than he thought and heals him, the other ignores his pleas.

Kin considers rape natural

Given her description of her birth sex is rape and rape is sex for her species. However she associates sex with being beaten within an inch of her life now.

  • The birth sex wasn't rape, just one big awesome weekend-long orgy.
  • You have a good point.

Targoth, the dwarven kid Kore killed, was Forgath's brother

They have the same surname, meaning Forgath now has a Dead Little Brother and a reason to fight Kore. He may have even been looking for the kid on the quest. When he finds out, shit will hit the fan.

  • They are at least from the same clan, so even if he was NOT his brother this is still motivation enough.

Dies Horribly's arm isn't a part of him, it's the larval form of Klik's species

Klik's race is parasitic, and can project mental images that convince other life forms that they are harmless and what they are doing is beneficial. It's already been shown to have a mind of its own. As such, the arm will eventually kill Dies and take its natural form.

  • Dies' arm is a larval form of Klik's species but everything else Klik said was true. Klik lied to comfort Dies. Klik did his best to prolong Die's life but eventually the arm will grow up and Dies will bleed to death.The arm will become a cowardly plasmic ball which craves Dies' blood, goblin blood, other blood. It might even defeat the current big bad.
  • Supported by the fact that Dies apparently has two souls.
  • Normally that is how it would work; that is how Klik's species reproduces. However in this case Klik used a slightly different method to create the arm to share Dies' soul and it shouldn't have a soul of its own.

Kin will teach Minmax literacy the next time they level up

Fully completing his development from ignorant munchkin to a somewhat well-rounded PC

The universe isn't evil, evil tends to lose.

They didn't note how evil the groups looked the first time.

Kore doesn't lose his paladin status because he keeps the souls of the innocents he kills

As seen on Nov. 16th of 2010, this strip, Kore has what looks like chained spectral faces coming out of him, which might be the souls of the people he kills. Perhaps he prevents their souls from passing into another plane, and therefore he doesn't technically "kill" any innocents. This might be why he doesn't lose paladin status.

  • In support of this theory, is it just me, or does the fifth head from the right look a great deal like Targoth Bladebeard, who we already know he killed?

Alternately, he's lost his Paladin status - the support of his god - but since he keeps the souls of his victims chained to him, he derives his power from them, giving him an alternate energy source for his Paladin powers. Perhaps he's amassed so many souls that they now have the collective divine clout of a minor godling.

Saral Caine and the Chief

They both have the same symbol (on Chief's headband and Caine's belt), and they've both died, so there's definitely something special about that symbol. Perhaps they'll both come back to life sometime?

Saral Caine killed Kills-A-Werebear

Only the goblin chiefs have that symbol, but Caine somehow got his hands on one. It says in this strip that KAW was killed by a seventh level barbarian... Saral Caine was an adventurer when he was younger.

The Glowing Green light at the end of this strip is...

  • Minmax and Forgath using the Jade Teapot to find Complains.
    • Very likely. Since we just cut to Minmax entering the maze, it'll probably end up leading right back to the same moment.
    • Especially since the light is green and jade is green.
    • Even further enforced because the newcomer specifically adresses Complains of Names. Remember, who is the one goblin Minmax has a grudge against?
  • The Ghost of Young-And-Beautiful the Fortune Teller with cryptic messages.
  • Dies Horribly. The light is the exact same color as his arm.
    • Though his arm doesn't glow.
      • Hasn't glowed yet, at least.
    • "Remember me" doesn't sound terribly friendly as a greeting...

The Goblin Adventurers will eventually recognize Minmax's sword as the one he took from GS

  • And it'll probably make them hate each other all the more.
    • or, alternately, the GAP will see it and suspect Minmax had some character growth.

The Maze of Many is how Kin will remove her collar

  • Even if there's any real danger associated with taking it off, she still has a 50% chance of survival. Flip a coin. Tails, the party dies, reboots and it doesn't matter. Heads, and eventually one of those heads will be the run they succeed on, especially since they'll have Kin's magic backing them up. Alternate theory: While Kin has a 50% chance of not dying, 200+ Kins have a much lower chance of nobody going boom. It only takes one explosion to kill all or most of the parties. Attempts to remove the collar are responsible for most of the losses on the counter.

The Gods themselves fear Kore.

Kore doesn't lose his Paladin status because his God knows that Kore doesn't need no paladin status to ascend to the heavens and kick his ass for depriving him.

  • Alternatively, Kore's player menaced to beat Herbert up IRL if he didn't consent, and Herbert had no choice but to agree because, if Forgath's prayers are to be believed, he's an utter nerd.

Fortunetellers don't give names based on what they see. The names are part of an elaborate fatalistic The Plan.

We already know that Chief was made chief because it was his name, and that he was named chief because making Thaco chief would spark a goblin civil war. Saves-a-Fox's failed attempt to Screw Destiny proves that the fortune tellers can get creative. Names were given to direct the course of events, not to reveal them.

  • Dies Horribly is meant to serve a greater purpose, but must survive several near death experiences that braver goblins would have charged headlong into. Therefore, he was given a name to make him increasingly paranoid.
  • Fumbles's insane plans would get the goblins into trouble if he weren't so bad at executing them. Therefore, give him the name "Fumbles" and he's sure to fail at them.
  • Chief needed to become chief to prevent a civil war.
  • Saves-a-Fox was given her prophetic name as a trap to make it seem like You Can't Fight Fate. The fortune teller knew it was sunset fever the entire time.
  • Complains-of-Names and others like him are a control group, meant to inspire confidence that the prophesy will come true.
    • I doubt Fumbles became a clumsy idiot and Big Ears grew big ears solely by The Plan
      • Big Ears wasn't named by a fortune teller. He was named Big ears because he has big ears. Also, not saying the Fortune tellers don't have some degree of foresight, just saying they aren't completely honest about what they see.
        • Why should they exclude Big Ears from a small glimpse into his destiny solely because of his ears? If this theory is true than for all we know Big Ears' real name could have been "Bringer of Death and Betrayal" but they missed the boat because his mom was a bitch.
        • Complains states that some Goblins are named after Personality traits or Prominent physical features right here at the beginning of the comic.

It IS impossible to avoid a fate accurately prophesied by a fortune teller... but fortune tellers are not infallible.

It may happen that a fortune teller sees an inaccurate, or at least incomplete vision of the future. So, it may be that Dies Horribly will pass horribly close to death, but Young-And-Beautiful failed to see the rest of his fate, in which he manages to survive. Similarly, Forgath may be almost killed by that other dwarf (Kore?) but eventually escape his fate.

  • Sorta half-jossed half-confirmed - Dies really does die, but he gets better.

Kore is a woman.

Most of the time, when someone's face is obscured for the majority of their appearance, it's so it'll be a huge twist when we find out that she was a woman the whole time. The beard is meant to throw readers off, but Forgath explicitly said early on in the series that some female dwarves can grow beards. And the only reason people use the "he" pronoun to refer to Kore is because she never removes her armor, and most people who Kore talks to end up dead.

Dies Horribly is the only one who can defeat Mister Fingers.

So much as touching him can melt a person's flesh off. Naturally, he'll need to be killed by someone with an arm made of shapeshifting living metal.

  • Jossed - K'seliss takes care of Mr. Fingers... at the cost of his life.
    • However, what with Mr. Fingers being officially called a LESSER Finger Horror, could they eventually run into a GREATER Finger Horror Dies will have to fight off?

Dies Horribly becomes a Rogue.

He's good at running away and hiding, and right now, Saves a Fox could really use someone good at picking locks.

K'seliss is a tsundere.

Search your feelings; you know it to be true.

K'seliss is NOT gonna die!

As I write this, K'seliss has just surfaced in a dark underwater cavern he was dregged to by Mister Fingers. This may be just a little wishful thinking on my part, in the face of an author who occasionally goes into binges of killing off characters left and right, but I rather doubt that he would have bothered showing the lizard surfacing if it was really the end of him. So how will it work? Theories:

  • Theory one: K'seliss will lose his leg and tail, and then be rescued by Grem.
  • Theory two: K'seliss will lose his leg and tail, and then be rescued by some supernatural force completely out of left field (perhaps in an Always a Bigger Fish sort of way)
  • Theory three: K'seliss will become Mister Fingers.

Yeah, I figure if I throw enough out there, one of them will be kinda close.

    • OKAY, ya can't blame me for being hopeful. RIP one cool ogre-lizard

Forgath's player is the DM's sister.

Would give a new flavour to their banter.

The goblins are a separate gaming group who meet Herbert the DM on a different day from Minmax and Forgath's group.

He's intentionally playing them off against each other.

Kin is now a player character.

A newbie joined Herbert's group, and Kin's escape was to provide a new character for him/her to use.

The Green light in front of the Goblins IS Minmax and company...

And they'll team up for an Enemy Mine to fight off Kore (Since he sees Kin with them, and based on his views, that makes Minmax and Forgath evil), the resulting fight will result in Forgaths death (As the Seer said he would die in a battle with another Dwarf.)

  • Isn't Kin staying where she is, so she can take the teapot back to her clan?
  • Discussed above and seems very probable overall.

Another analysis of the prophecy

When the serpent becomes your prey: when Minmax and Forgath went after Complains, who's I.M.E. is now a purple snake, they run into Goblinslayer and try to get him to join the party to track down the GAP. They also find Kin, who could also match the serpent motif Friends will become enemies: Goblinslayer and Minmax were buddy-buddy until he admitted to raping Kin, after which a well-deserved beatdown occured Love will fuel hate: Minmax and Kin are showing signs of becoming close and the possibility of love is there. When Kore sees this, he will be pissed and want to kill them both as soon as he can.

  • Complains' I.M.E. looks to me like a barbed tail, not a snake.

Grem will end up taking adventurer levels in order to survive the dungeon crawl.

So far, we have Saves-a-fox(6th level fighter), Dies Horribly(Standard goblin with a shapeshifting magic arm) Klik(Flying, shapeshifting metal sphere... thing.) K'seliss(Lizardfolk/ogre hybrid who was awesome til he died) leaving Grem as... a standard goblin. If he doesn't take adventurer levels soon he'll end up fairly useless to the party.

Kore's God is as much prejuiced bastard as he is

Or he serves the God of Lawful Stupid. Maybe Miko Miyazaki has ascended?

Minmax's Intelligence is actually pretty high

Low Intelligence is bad even in a fighter, and he might have Combat Expertise, which requires Intelligence 13. He's only illiterate because it gives him +1 to attack rolls. This would make the current (August 2011) scene rather amusing if it turns out he can't get through the Intelligence shield. Why does he act so stupid? Because his player is an idiot.

  • Another possibility is that he has an abysmal Wisdom score which would make sense given his apparent lack of general common sense. Given that there are feats that allow Intelligence to almost completely supplant Wisdom, this may not be so far fetched either.

Some of the PCs are possessed by creatures from another world.

Min Max points out that Fogath is "played" by a girl. Later a random girl actually believes she used to be the female Dark Elf that travled with them and does not realize she is wearing gloves in responce another character asks is she read her character sheet. Basically some PC's talk as if they are completely different people from themselves.

Fumbles is not one of the possessed characters or if he is possessed he is possessed by the DM himself.

Fumbles choosen class could not be much more useless unless somebody tried to find the most useless class possible, however it gives him an excuse to know what all the classes do. Fumbles became a PC in his partie's backstory. The other goblins let Fumbles choose their class after they give a brief explanation of what they want, either they are just acepting what the DM says or they told the DM there plans before then and were given an appropiate history. Fumbles tries to convince them to attack the caravan then defies his group and attacks them anyways. Afterwards he insists on returning the doll on his own despite the impossability. He forces them on a certain path and can not do anything during there first adventure. Fumbles appears to exist in order to lead the other goblins in a way that suggests he is not controlled be anybody but the DM.

Minmax is going to go through even more character development.

Minmax's first major moment of character development comes through shortly after this fight with Dellyn. During the fight, Dellyn stabs through Minmax's Skull Pin. Afterward, Minmax realizes that monsters are living beings rather than just something to kill for XP and amusement. Now, he's tossed his "I am Great" belt buckle away during a fight. Could it be that Minmax is about to learn some humility?

    • I think Minmax is someone who is very good at roleplaying a munchkin.

Dies-Horribly is going to escape the demon through a contract loophole.

The demon said, "One orb for one soul." However, his new arm has its own soul, so the demon actually took two souls, violating its contract.

    • Confirmed!

Forgath will cast remove curse on Kore.

Forgath specifically mentioned learning remove curse, which was then discounted for use on Kin's collar. It's mention indicates that it will become useful.

The Demon Owned Ogre

He'll become a member of Dies's party or will be killed fighting of the demons.


Dies Horribly does not refer to him dying (Spoilers)

It refers to him being horrible at dying or dying horribly is what happens to his enemies but, like Rincewind, if he believed himself invincible, he would actually die. The right mix of self confidence and cowardice will continue to keep him alive for a long time.

  • Jossed. He dies, horribly. But it doesn't take.

Dies Horribly's second soul

Has a will of its/his own and takes over in moments of rage or terror. Also, it refers to Dies as "father" and it is possibly jealous of Saves-A-Fox for Dies' attention (same page).

Grem was lied to about Saves-A-Fox being fated to survive the dungeon under the condition that she, Dies Horribly, and K'Seliss went alone. Dies (and possibly K'Seliss) were originally going to survive the Well of Darkness, and if that had been stated, Grem would have been more suspicious of her predicted survival, whereas obviously someone had to survive to bring the orb out, and if it wasn't the other two it would have to be her.

If Grem isn't there, Saves-A-Fox retrieves the key instead, possibly dying and throwing the key ahead (low odds; she'd probably have died later, in a more interestingly instance-relevant way). K'Seliss doesn't have as much delay when running from the held door, he doesn't get grabbed and pulled through, and Dies' death scene goes more or less exactly the same as it did in the comic, only K'Seliss kills the ogre first and entertains the demon very slightly. It may have changed even earlier, if Grem's presence caused Dies' arm to reach ahead and puncture the clear panel where the finger horror's finger got through.

Kore is an alternate Forgath

He has the same beard colour. In the scene where he takes off his helm, we see TINY bits of its face, including his eyebrows. In the next, he cuts off part of his beard, leaving longer strands at the sides; Forgath has a short beard with two longer plaits.

Kore's god is a massive jerk

Kore's god considers monsters (such as goblins) to be purely and absolutely evil and a blight upon the earth, regardless of actual evil-ness. S/he also believes that any member of a non-monster race can be permanently 'contaminated' with said monster evil-ness. So Kore is not actually doing anything wrong or evil in the eyes of his god, and is thus allowed to keep his Paladin status, even in the face of otherwise truly heinous crimes.

Trueseeing, Huh?

Yeah, that's never gonna happen between a human and a yuan-ti... right? Only it seems rather weird to even bring it up as a possibility, with this much build-up, without somehow allowing for the possibility of Minmax stepping past yet another barrier....

Kore is from a place of taint.

What spawns monsters, drags the virtuous into depravity, spreads from creature to creature, and is born of evil acts? Doesn't explain the paladin thing, but it does explain Kore's outlook.

Dies Horribly's name is in plural.

His brush with the Demoness is only the first time we'll get to see him die. Horribly.

Psion!Minmax will, at some point in the future, get ahold of Oblivious.

However, his understanding of oblivion will render the weapon useless in his hands.

The DM is playing a high risk high reward campaign

The enemies batled are very powerful, the traps seen are very deadly, but the things found by all three parties are pretty damn powerful.

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