Grand Theft Auto (series)/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


GTA, London, GTA2

Grand Theft Auto III

Vice City

  • Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, during the "Publicity Tour" mission, the dialogue between the members of Love Fist throughout the mission is priceless.
  • Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. Vercetti comments that the stolen cop uniform is snug in the crotch. Vance pathetically says his stolen uniform is the same. And then five minutes later, undercover at a crime scene, Vance tries to blend in by commenting upon a cop's shiny badge.
  • "Love and togetherness! And the manatee! And the lasers!"

San Andreas

So many we had to give it its own page.

Liberty City Stories

Also has its own page.

Vice City Stories

Grand Theft Auto IV

Got its own page, too. Just go there for GTA IV laughs.

Episodes from Liberty City (L&tD/BoGT)

  • One word: Yusuf Amir. That is all.

GTA Radio

  • The radio stations also contain some gems. One from Grand Theft Auto: Vice City:

"They kidnapped your wife!"
"But I'm not married!"
"You are now! TO AMERICA!"

  • The talk radio stations can be absolutely hilarious. This quote is from an interview segment with a cop in San Andreas: "Yeah I work undercover in a crackhouse. It's great, I get to smoke crack everyday! I even brought my wife undercover and made her a crackwhore! Say hi to the newsman, bitch!"
  • In GTA 3, the Citizens Raging Against Phones group on Chatterbox is hilarious.

Protestor: Liberty City was great, before phones ruined everything.
Lazlo: Liberty City was a church, a cow pasture, and three houses when the phone was invented.
Protestor: LIAR!
Lazlo: You're the liar!
Protestor: Liar, liar, pants on fire!
Lazlo: What are you? Are you three years old?
Protestor: Lazlo's a liar, Lazlo's a liar! I bet that isn't even your real name!
Lazlo: Shut up!
Protestor: You shut up!
Lazlo: Stupid!
Protestor: Nanny-nanny-boo-boo, stick your head in doo-doo!
Lazlo: Ugh, we're going to commercial.

Alien: "Oh my god... You're. A. FUCKING. Moron."

  • Maurice Chavez's "Pressing Issues" radio show in Vice City is probably the best thing in the game. Particularly when Pastor Richards shoots a nudist:

Maurice: Dios mio, he shot him! T-There's blood and pubic hair all over the studio! I am sorry, this is "Pressing Issues" with your award-winning and soon-to-be-executed host Maurice Chavez...

  • This snippet from Just or Unjust on GTAIV's WKTT

Announcer: Welcome back to Just or Unjust with the Case of the Stolen Truck and the Underage Fuck!