Groin Attack/Quotes

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Caleb: "Stupid girl. You can't kill me. You don't have the..." SCYTHE THWACK
Buffy: "Who does nowadays?"

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A trauma to the groin, boys, a trauma to the groin! Nothin's quite as funny, as a trauma to the groin! There is no wit more pretty, there is no joke divine, or limerick delicious as a trauma to the groin!
—Heywood Banks' "Trauma to the Groin"
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"I am not suggesting here that only guys have privates. I realize that women also have privates, and plenty of them. But their privates are a lot more private. They are tucked safely away in various vaults of the female body; wheras the guy privates - which contain not only half of the guy's nerve endings, but are also a good 83 percent of his motivation - are, because of an incredibly stupid design flaw, hanging right out in the open in an absurdly vulnerable manner, like Harold Lloyd dangling from the face of the giant clock, waiting for disaster to strike. Almost every guy has, at one time or another, been traumatically whacked in the personal regions by a baseball or a bicycle bar or a knee or something, and this is the kind of thing a guy remembers for a long time."
Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys
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Homer Simpson: Oh, great, now you're going to make fun of me!
Jay Sherman: No, Homer, I won't make fun of you. But I will suggest there may be better things in life than seeing a man get hit in the groin with a football.
[Football hits Jay in the crotch]

Nelson Muntz: Ha ha!
The Simpsons (A Star Is Burns)
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Homer Simpson: Ow my thingies!
—The Simpsons (Goo Goo Gai Pan)
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Homer Simpson: I say, I say, my groin!
—The Simpsons (Mr Spritz Goes To Washington)
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Mannish Man the Minotaur: You're the goodest of heart and most righteous hero I've seen here. Tenderness! Ingenuity! Bravery! Nard kicking ability!
Adventure Time (The Enchiridion!)
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Why do they always go for the kiwis? Why?!?!
Duncan, Total Drama Action, "One Million Bucks, B.C."
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Little Dog: Hey look, balls!

Big Dog: Yeah... I know... [clears his throat] You should be more careful with those.
2 Stupid Dogs (Los Pelotas!)
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Shunsaku Ban: Gall-darnit!! Burn down my bar, subject me to torture, bite off my pecker...!! Who's gonna take responsibility for all that!
MW, chapter twenty-six
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Bando: What does the fate of mankind have to do with the fate of my balls?
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Leon Arnott: The foot delivered an unending holocaust of pain as it rocketed into Zamboni's crotch.
—The 2007 Lyttle Lytton Contest, 3rd place
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Avril Lavigne: Some chick came up to me and said something, so I kicked her in the box and shoved her.
—Maxim (September 2004)
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Dan McNinja: HAHAHAHAH he kicked your genitals. Ninjas have no honor.
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Sora: Wow! Riku, what happened to you?
Riku: What does it look like?! I got cut in half. Go get Zexion, I think he's a doctor.
Sora: Hey, if I kick you in the nuts, will you still feel it?
Riku: That wouldn't make sense. I don't have a lower body, how wou- [Sora kicks Riku in the nuts] OHH SON OF A BITCH!
Sora: Hey, you got cut in half! If I kick you in the nuts, will you still feel it?

Riku: SCREW YOU AND SCREW YOUR AMNESIA!
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"Oooh, look at that! Chainsaw to the dick!"
The Angry Video Game Nerd, on a particularly nasty attack from the SNES version of Batman Forever.
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Joseph: "Wait--isnt he in the, uh... Groin-Kick-Void or whatever?"

Housemaster: "I KIK HIM IN NUTZZZLOLOL!!!"
Arfenhouse Teh Movie Too
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"Critical hit to the 'nads..."
—Yosuke Hanamura, after being trope'd by Chie Satonaka, Persona 4
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"Ivan... do you remember, whenever one of you fellows got kicked in the nuts and went over, doing sports or whatever, how I laughed? I'm sorry. I never knew. I'm sorry..."
—Lord Dono Vorruyter (formerly Lady Donna), A Civil Campaign
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Don't act like you don't like the Ball Buster! (Ball Buster!)
God Hand's ending credits theme
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"Wolfman's got nards!"
—"Fat Kid" Horace from The Monster Squad, after kicking the werewolf there.
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Jessica Jones: "You ever been kicked in the nuts by a super hero?"

Bouncer: "What..."
Alias
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"Stomp 'em in tha nutz! Stomp 'em in tha nutz! Stomp 'em in tha nutz!"
Thugnificent, The Boondocks
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"Quit stabbin' me groin, ya wee baby man!"
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What does this guy have against testicles?
Geoff Ramsey, commenting on Nathan Drake's favourite combat move
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"Metal foot! Metal foot... to... mantenna array! Pain levels...Shatnerian... in intensity!"

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Chie: Stop right there! What did you do to my DVD?! (SLAM)
Yosuke: Argh! (clutches his southern regions)
Chie: What the!? I can't believe this! It is completely cracked...My Trial of the Dragon!

Yosuke: "I think mine's cracked too...C-Critical Hit to the nads...
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"Joke's on you, missed both my legs."
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(after being kicked in the balls) "My only weakness! MY BALLS! How did you know?!"
Unnamed pirate, None Piece
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Marty: You don't know when to quit, do ya Griswold?... Here's an idea: Why don't you give me half the money your were gonna to bet, then we'll go out back, I'll kick you in the nuts, and we'll call it a day!
Vegas Vacation
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"Barry shows Batman around the place, where humans have been subjected to the most bizarre, grotesque and inhumane experiments imaginable -- including electrocuting genitals, because it's not evil science without fried genitals."
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His balls! Go for his balls!
—NPC,  Hitman
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