Hakumei

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
This is as awesome as it looks.

Hakumei, by Pryotra, is Naruto For Want of a Nail that takes the What If of Danzo's bastardry taken to its logical extreme. Danzo kills the Sandaime and in the following Reign of Terror takes over the village. Unfortunately, he didn't count on six neglected children seeing him. As the kids escape with secrets given by the dying Hokage, aided and abetted by one of the ANBU, they pick up other lost children... and a force that will be the twilight of its enemies is born.

There are a lot of Danzo-as-Hokage fics out there. There are a lot of Naruto-forced-out-of-Konoha fics out there. This one takes both ideas and runs. The divergence happens before the main Naruto story begins.

What really gets you into it is the character development. Pryotra starts off the kids realistically, and they are still the same people-- but with a few twists, they are given very different lives. Their life on the run is harsh, a fact some fics forget to mention in such a situation. Drawing a few favourites from outside Konoha into the group and avoiding a straight Stations of the Canon approach keeps things fresh. In fact, as one troper recommending the fic said, things are much crazier, heartwarming, yet more intriguing and harsh at different scenes.

Tropes used in Hakumei include:

"I can see that you don't even like what Konoha stands for now. So why pretend?"

  • Ax Crazy: Zabuza, Anko, Yumi and Sora.
  • Back-to-Back Badasses: Jiraiya, Zabuza, Itachi and Yugito in chapter 32. Hakumei and Kinen also pull this off.
  • Badass Adorable: After the Third's death, the kids manage to survive an entire year by themselves with few comparable mishaps. For reference, they are between the ages of six and nine.
  • Badass Crew-- Starts out as a Five-Man Band with Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Neji, Hinata, and Sai. Then they add an essential power trio with another Smart Guy in "closet evil genius" Haku and two much more powerful Big Guys in Gaara and Kimimaro.
  • Badass Grandpa: Jiraiya.
  • Badass Longcoat: In Part Two, the Hakumei uniform includes a white sleeveless coat with blue flames on the bottom, modeled on (but not identical to) the one worn by the Yondaime Hokage.
  • Bat Deduction: Using just the fact that Hinata and Neji are alive, Hiashi is able to correctly conclude that a) the rest of the kids are also alive and b) Konoha done fucked up.
  • Battle Strip: Kimimaro. Apparently removing bones through a shirt is awkward...
  • Belligerent Sexual Tension: Between Tsunade and Jiraiya.
  • The Berserker: Sora. Naruto and Gaara have to remind themselves not to do this.
  • Beware the Nice Ones: Haku is probably the nicest, kindest member of Hakumei. But if you manage to annoy him, you are in trouble.
  • Beware the Quiet Ones: Shino knew all along who the Hakumei were and simply waited until they needed help to reveal himself.
  • BFS: Zabuza, as usual.
  • Big Brother Instinct: Kimimaro is the oldest member of Hakumei, and he would do anything for them. Itachi feels this way about Sasuke... it's just that he couldn't find him for a few years. Neji lampshades his by calling Hinata "Imouto" (Little Sister).
    • Hinata and Temari subtly develop this towards their own siblings.
  • Big Brother Worship: Both Sasuke and Hanabi.
  • Big Damn Heroes: Hakumei is this to Tazuna during the Wave arc. During the Chuunin Exams: Chiyo, Isaribi Itachi, Shino, and Sai.
  • Big Fancy House: Jiraiya's "hermitage".
  • Bittersweet Ending: To the Invasion arc. The Kinen/Hakumei rebellion might have been able to defeat Danzou and his allies had things gone according to plan... but the addition of the Sand/Sound Invasion on the same day turned the whole thing into a Melee a Trois, and the extra enemies combined with some mistaken assumptions about Danzou's own plans mean that the best the heroes can do is retreat before they're wiped out. At the same time though, it is noted that Konoha's reputation has taken a massive hit with Hakumei revealing their identities, the village has itself taken significant losses due to the three-way battle, and the invasion has shown that Konoha can be attacked, and has permanently destroyed the village's image of military superiority. This combined with the defection of Jiraiya and Tsunade leaves the village much worse off than it was at the beginning of the invasion.
  • Blood Knight: Zabuza, Sasuke, Sakura and Neji all love hurting things. Zabuza and Sakura especially.
  • Body Double: During the Chuunin Exams, Danzou has Uchiha Fugaku pose as him. Fugaku does not survive the experience.
  • Brainwashed and Crazy: Orochimaru. Also, this is what Tsume thinks is going on when the "kidnapped children" reappear.
  • Bratty Half-Pint/Mouthy Kid: Inari and Konohamaru.
  • Breath Weapon: Shizune teaches Hinata a jutsu that involves exhaling Deadly Gas.
  • Broken Bird: Isaribi is mutated to the point of nearly being a Cute Monster Girl and upon seeing how many different personalities are in Hakumei, doesn't understand why they don't just kill each other.
  • Brutal Honesty: Sai, as usual. He never really loses it but eventually learns when to be quiet.
  • Butt Monkey: Kiba. Big Time.
  • Cain and Abel: Expected for Uchiha brothers, averted for Itachi and Sasuke. Their father is somewhat disturbed that Itachi didn't try to kill his younger brother at birth. Dysfunction Junction, much?
    • Also averted for the Hyuuga sisters and their cousin.
  • Cast Speciation: Hinata's Tenshi Byakugan serves to give her a different powerset than Neji's, rather than the canonical situation where their abilities are basically the same but he's better at using them. Also, the three medics- aside from all having completely different fighting styles- end up with different medical specialties; for example, Haku focuses on medical herbs rather than using chakra to heal.
  • Character Development
  • Chekhov's Gunman: Yumi is actually mentioned in Part 1.
  • Chekhov's Skill: Hinata removing Neji's Caged Bird seal gets a Call Back when Jiraiya asks her to do the same to the seal on Orochimaru's brain.
  • The Chessmaster: Danzo.
  • Chick Magnet: The Uchiha brothers as usual. Sasuke fears fangirls. Sure enough, they always find him.
  • Cloudcuckoolander/Cute and Psycho: Gaara comes across as vaguely psychotic (in the medical sense) to the others but this is only because they didn't know immediately that the monster in his head is real.
  • Combat Medic: Sakura (at least so far) is this in contrast to Haku's Deadly Doctor.
  • Comedic Sociopathy: Sai and his comments, Kimimaro and his pranks, Zabuza being... Zabuza.
  • Cool Teacher: Jiraiya tries. Sometimes, he even is... until Tsunade bursts his bubble.
  • Conservation of Ninjutsu: Mostly played straight. Mostly.
  • Creepy Child: Sai, Gaara and Shino are heroic examples and Yumi is a villainous one.
  • Curb Stomp Battle: In the Chuunin Exams, every time a Hakumei member faces an actual genin. Against other fake genin, things are more complicated.
  • Dark Action Girl: Yumi.
  • Darkest Hour: None of the kids are even sure they'll survive their first winter. But that's when they meet Tsunade...
  • Deadly Doctor: Haku is turning into this. His medical abilties rely on herbs and chemicals; he also uses drugs and poisons in battle. Hinata may be another example, since her fighting style seems to involve poison; curiously, Sakura isn't. She's deadly, and she's a healer, but so far there doesn't seem to be an overlap.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Sasuke, Sai, Neji and Kimimaro.
  • Designated Girl Fight: Sakura vs Yumi. Yumi wins but only because Sakura's undercover and can't use her more powerful, flashy techniques. Hinata vs Matsuri could count, except it wasn't a fight.
  • Discard and Draw: After Hinata awakens the Tenshi Byakugan, she is no longer able to use normal Byakugan.
  • Ditto Fighter: Matsuri figures out how to use "Dokugiri" after only seeing it once.
  • Doom It Yourself: Do NOT ask Kimimaro to fix your house.
  • Drowning My Sorrows: After the 3rd Hokage's death, Gekkou Hayate tells Iruka that Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Hinata and Neji are all missing, presumed "kidnapped by the Rock nin that assassinated the Sandaime." He then silently changes his plans for the evening to "get black-out drunk."
  • Dual-Wielding: Yumi with kunai.
  • Dude Looks Like a Lady: This is becoming a sore spot with Haku. He and Deidara bond over it in the omakes.
  • Dramatic Unmask: During their battle, Yumi breaks Sasuke's mask with her whip, revealing his active Sharingan.
  • Early-Bird Cameo: Konan and Zabuza in Chapter 3. Zabuza doesn't appear again until Chapter 11, and Konan hasn't yet reappeared.
  • Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette: Yumi. Also, Raven Hair, Ivory Skin.
  • Elemental Powers:
  • Enemy Mine
  • Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: Sasuke BSODs because of this. The others remind him that not being completely heartless is a GOOD thing.
  • Evil Former Friend: Technically she's been dead for 13 years but Kushina and Mikoto were once thick as thieves. Yumi invokes this by killing Inuzuka Hana to gain the Mangekyou Sharingan. Kiba sees Naruto as this.
  • Extreme Omnivore: Sai for awhile after they escaped Konoha.
  • Five-Man Band:
  • Fluffy the Terrible: Naruto dubs the Nine Tails and One Tail "Fuzzy Wuzzy" and "Sandy Wandy" after the rest of the group finds out about them.
  • Forgotten Friend, New Foe: Naruto is actually insulted that it takes so long for Kiba to remember who he is.
  • Get a Hold of Yourself, Man!: In chapter 18, Sasuke has to remind Naruto just what's at stake in Konoha.
  • Glamour Failure: Naruto can't hide his whiskers.
  • Good Parents: Tenten's foster father.
  • Hannibal Lecture: Neji gives one to Tenten during their fight. It works.
  • Harmful to Minors: Putting aside the murder of the Third Hokage, its effect on the protagonists and their various familial troubles, Itachi once took his mother's place in assisting medic-nin in battle since she was pregnant with Sasuke at the time. Itachi was five. He still has nightmares from the experience.
  • Heel Face Turn: Isaribi, Zabuza, Rock Lee, Shino, Itachi, Ten-Ten and Hiashi, though it's debatable how much of a Heel everyone but the first two actually was.
  • He Knows Too Much: The reason why the kids had to leave Konoha in the first place. Later on, Hakumei considers killing Shino when they realize he has put two and two together.
  • Heroic Bystander: Rock Lee (Danzo instates laws that prevent him from attending the Ninja Academy) and the proprietor of Ichiraku's (who manages to clock some utterly surprised Sand and Sound ninja).
  • Heroic BSOD: Both Sasuke and Hinata in chapter 32. Hinata, because of Hiashi's death. Sasuke, because, despite him declaring a blood feud against the Uchiha clan, he still hesitated in front of his mother. Naruto helps Hinata get over it. Sasuke determines that he will never hesitate again, and that the next time he meets his family, he will destroy them.
  • Heroic Sacrifice: Hiashi. See "You Shall Not Pass."
  • Hot Amazon: Sakura. Despite the fact that he beat her, Neji thinks this of Tenten.
  • I Call It "Vera": Don't touch Zabuza's sword.
  • I Have No Daughter or Nephew: Hyuuga Hiashi disowns Hinata and Neji after Hinata removes Neji's Caged Bird Seal.
  • I Know You Know I Know: Since Hakumei is undercover during the Chuunin exams, there's a lot of this going on.
  • Idiot Hero: Kiba.
  • Ill Boy: Kimimaro has mostly recovered from his illness, thanks to Tsunade, but it still saps his endurance.
  • Improbable Age: Naruto and co. successfully escape a very large village with very important information, collect three other strangers, two of which are three years older than they are and live on their own for at least a year, all at the tender ages of six or seven. Then again, Tsunade herself notes that the kids have various amounts of ailments when she finds them and well, ninja.
  • In Spite of a Nail: Not too many things, but Gaara gets the same nickname as in canon, and Itachi still becomes a missing ninja despite the changes that have occurred by then.
  • The Insomniac: Gaara, as usual.
  • I Need a Freaking Drink: Tsunade, after having Naruto & co. get all cleaned up:

Tsunade: My, what pretty little...(recognizes Naruto's whiskers, Gaara's eye rings, Hinata & Neji's eyes, Sakura's pink hair)...chil...dren...(flops into her seat) I NEED A DRINK. NOW.
Shizune: I knew that you wouldn't want to drink in front of the children, so I've made some lemonade!

  • I Owe You My Life: Hakumei believes in calling in any and all life-preserving favors they've been presented with.
  • It's Personal: Sasuke always disliked Yumi, but when she nearly kills Sakura in the Chuunin Exams he declares a blood feud against her clan. Which is also his clan.
  • Jerkass: Yumi, Gato and Sora. Surprisingly, the Sound nin actually behave themselves outside of battle.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Zabuza would rather be fighting... but given the chance to honestly help, he can be talked/ guilted into it. Also, Kiba.
  • Jumping Off the Slippery Slope: In Chapter 32, Yumi murders Hana in order to unlock her Mangekyou Sharingan.
  • Kick the Dog: Sora during his match against Dosu. Yumi, whenever she talks.
  • Kick the Morality Pet: As You Know, gaining the Mangekyou Sharingan means killing the person closest to you. Hana Inuzuka is pretty much the only living person in-story that Yumi is comparatively nice that isn't an Uchiha. So...
  • Killed Off for Real: The Third Hokage, Minato, Kushina, Hizashi, several Uchiha, Hiashi, and Hana.
  • Lady Macbeth: The author notes that it is rare for a Naruto fanfic to have an evil Mikoto Uchiha in it.
  • Large Ham: Konohamaru.
  • La Résistance: Kinen.
  • Laser-Guided Amnesia: Orochimaru has absolutely no idea what he's been up to for the past 13 years.
  • Laser Guided Tykebomb: Thanks to his actions, Danzo inadvertently forms Hakumei, who seek to destroy him. Tsunade even points it out. Considering that Akatsuki is one of the reasons that Naruto and Gaara are Jinchuuriki,they also count toward them as well.
  • Let's Fight Like Gentlemen: It was highly probable that members of Hakumei would fight one another in the Chuunin Exams, but for their fight, Naruto and Haku set their own victory conditions--Taijutsu only, with a five minute time limit; whoever does the worst forfeits.
  • Little Miss Badass: Sakura, Hinata, Isaribi and Yumi.
  • Living Emotional Crutch: Naruto, Sasuke and Hinata are this to Iruka, Itachi and Hiashi respectively, since the former's absence brings about drastic changes in the latter's lives i.e. Iruka becomes bitter and jaded, Itachi falls out of favor with his family and Hiashi pretty much gives up on the world.
  • Mama Bear: Tsunami standing up to the goons that Gato sent after her and Inari.
  • The Medic: Sakura, Hinata, and Haku fill this role for Hakumei.
  • Melee a Trois: The Kinen/Hakumei rebellion? It's on the same day as the Sound/Sand Invasion. Cue a three-way battle between the rebels, the invaders, and Danzo's forces. Things get messy fast. And because no one was planning for this, no one wins. All three sides take losses, but Hakumei and the exposed members of La Résistance have to cut and run, leaving Danzou still in power.
  • Minored in Asskicking: Haku and Hinata.
  • My Master, Right or Wrong: The Inuzuka clan is loyal to Danzo simply because he's the Hokage. They're pretty decent people- they just don't question orders that seem to come from a legitimate authority.
  • Names to Run Away From Really Fast: Tsunade gives the kids some very badass nicknames, partly in the hopes they'll grow into them, partly to give them a treat, and largely to keep from using their surnames, some of which are... conspicuous. Here are the characters' new full names as translated by the author:
    • Sabaku no Gaara (Gaara of the Desert)
    • Haka no Kimimaro (Kimimaro of the Tomb)
    • Shin’en no Sai (Sai of the Abyss)
    • Rasen no Neji (Neji of the Spiral)
    • Hara no Haku (Haku of the Tundra)
    • Gesshoku no Hinata (Hinata of the Lunar Eclipse)
    • Nisshoku no Sakura (Sakura of the Solar Eclipse)
    • Arashi no Sasuke (Sasuke of the Tempest)
    • Shippuu no Naruto (Naruto of the Hurricane)
  • Never Mess with Granny: Tsunade and Chiyo.
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Good working running straight to Danzo, Konohamaru.
  • The Nicknamer: Tsunade gave the nine members of Hakumei their distinctive names.
  • Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant: Kimimaro likes telling weird stories. And reanimating his bones while they're away from his body.
  • Odd Friendship: Neji and Shikamaru. Haku and Deidara of all things.
  • Oh Crap: The kids when, after escaping Danzo, Itachi finds them escaping Konoha in a merchant's cart. He gives a scroll to Sasuke and sends them on their way.
  • Official Couple: Naruto and Hinata, Sasuke and Sakura. It's announced in the intro to the first chapter. In-story, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura remain oblivious.
  • Older Than They Look: Uchiha Yumi manages to fool everyone about her actual age, although most people think something is off about her.
  • One-Man Army: Naruto and Gaara, for obvious reason. When Gaara sends a distress signal at the Hokage monument, it's a major Oh Crap moment.
  • Papa Wolf: You will be missed, Hiashi.
  • Parental Neglect: Sasuke in the opening sequence.
  • Parents as People: As it turns out, the reason why Hiashi disowned both Hinata and Neji is that Hinata is too gentle for the village elders to ever allow her to be clan leader and she would need protection, something that Neji could provide. Why he decided this when they were 6 and 7 years old is anyone's guess but for once, he wasn't motivated by spite.
  • Primal Scene: One night, Gaara goes looking for something do with his insomnia-induced boredom and finds Jiraiya's library. Hilarity and mentally scarring imagery ensues.
  • Psycho Ex-Girlfriend: As it turns out, Yumi is Itachi's former fiancee.
  • The Rival: Kiba and Kimimaro, Yumi, Sakura and Sasuke, Zabuza and Kisame.
  • Rose-Haired Girl: Sakura. Noted frequently.
  • Running Gag: Ninja Puffs, Neji kicking people in his sleep.
  • Run or Die: At the beginning of the story, the children are faced with these options after seeing the Hokage's death.
  • Sadistic Choice: Yumi imposes one on Sasuke when she brings his mother into the street to convince him to stay in Konoha. It stalls him, right up until Hiashi shows up.
  • Secret Identity: In Part Two, although with the twist that the kids use part of their real names when masked, and use false names and backgrounds while unmasked.
  • Secret Project Refugee Family: Hakumei again.
  • Shout-Out: To, of all things, Ratatouille.
  • Silk Hiding Steel: Hinata. Hanabi is trying to be this.
  • Spanner in the Works: Hakumei is this to the Invasion arc. While they don't win (for reasons explained in Bittersweet Ending), four out of nine of its members were seen and recognized as the children that Konoha originally went to war to save. This means that not only will it get out that Konoha utterly failed to achieve its directives but their resources didn't even get their info right. And thus Konoha's reputation takes a dive.
  • The Squadette: Sakura and Hinata.
  • The Stations of the Canon: Granted, the events of the stations happen much differently, but the Wave and Chunin exam arcs take up almost the entirety of part 2. Of course, because those events were much different, it would have to be pretty damn hard to follow the stations coming next, so ultimately averted.
  • Stepford Smiler: Sai at the beginning. He still does the fake smiling thing but now mostly when he's angry and doesn't want a normal person to notice.
  • Snark Knight: Zabuza.
  • Stern Teacher: While she does her share of mothering them, Tsunade has high standards for Hakumei and very firmly guides them.
  • Team Dad: Jiraiya.
  • Team Mom: Tsunade.
  • Technical Pacifist: As usual, if Haku can avoid it, he doesn't kill people.
  • Teen Superspy: Being the Good Counterpart to Akatsuki, Hakumei becomes a group of these. Damn proficient ones too.
  • Tell Me About My Father: Naruto learns about his family and his condition early on thanks to Tsunade.
  • Theme Naming: The two Hakumei girls become “Hinata of the Lunar Eclipse” and “Sakura of the Solar Eclipse”.
  • Title Drop: Memorably in Chapter Six:

Tsunade: From this day on, you are Hakumei, the twilight of your enemies. You will call yourselves that, or I won’t teach you.