Hellboy (comics)/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • "Don't mess with me lady, I've been drinking with skeletons!" and Goodbye, Mister Tod.
  • "Wait. Are you pissed that you didn't get to inherit the SLUG HOUSE?"
  • Hellboy eating "pamcakes" gave us this sequence as three demons come to the realization of what has occurred:

"It is the boy... He has eaten the pancake."
"He will never come back to us now."
"Truly...this is our blackest hour."

Abe Sapien: Is that a monkey?
Hellboy: He's got a gun!
BANG! BANG!

  • Then there's the moment in "Wake the Devil" where Hellboy is fitted with the B.P.R.D.'s latest jetpack, assured that it's "new and improved," and then thrown out of a plane before he has a chance to argue. He subsequently clicks the button to activate the jetpack... and keeps clicking it as he falls, with zero results, until the final click, which causes the jetpack to explode.

Hellboy: New and improved, my ass.

  • From "The Iron Prometheus":

Lobster Johnson: Mr. Sacks, does that thing fly?
Jim Sacks: (Looks at him like he's an idiot) No.

  • "Now God has a tree in his neck." from Almost Colossus.