FTA's reaction to the "Who's The Captain?" mission:
FTA: ...WHAT?! You're fucking jo--please tell me you're joking on that, please tell me, tell me he, I, just, ....e-e-excuse me for ten seconds please... (Leaves his mic) WHAT THE FUCK?! GRAAAAAAHH! -thud- -thud- -thud-
NTom: (as FTA returns) All better now?
Made even funnier by the dialogue during the game WHILE he says this.
FTA: WHAT THE FUCK?! Sonic: That was incredible! FTA:FUUUUCK!
Like FTA and Eggmanland below, NTom loses it in a similar fashion during the Trials of Soleanna.
FTA: This has been ten minutes and forty-seven seconds of my life I'll never get back. Damn you all to hell! NTom64: Don't be silly... you don't have a life!
Tom: That dialogue with Tails was terrible. Helldragon: His gesturing is terrible. "Oh man, I hope we solve this mystery!" And he's flailing at the air like a moron! Tom: Mm. Parasite Cage would be ashamed. Helldragon: Buh, Parasite Cage should just jump in and kill them all, and then I can get a drink.
NTom: Well, Yuji Naka's always been a bit of a glory hog... NTom: See what I did there? Glory "hog"?
FTA: It wasn't funny, so I didn't laugh.
During the Shamar night level:
FTA: -starts humming this song- Tom: Could you please not hum that throughout the entirety of this part? FTA: ...Why? Tom: I really don't want to have to kill a bitch.
(Beat) FTA: -starts humming it again- Tom: Since I'm lazy, insert stabbing sound effect here.
The group's Rule 34 discussions are always hilarious, but special mention goes to this playthrough, with them bringing up a hypothetical Fire Wizard x Professor Pickle Crack Fic. (Bonus points: this is shortly after the humming session mentioned immediately above.)
NTom: *imitating Professor Pickle* Hmm... My nether regions are on fire! FTA: Now that'sjustwrong.
Tom: I will fucking shank you. FTA: You'll shag me? Tom:Shank. FTA: Tom, this is hardly the time or place! Tom: S-H-A-N-K, OK?!
"Grinding's been sort of a staple in the series, like rings, loops, and bad voices." (FTA)
FTA's imitation of former Sega game developer, Yuji Naka.
This little exchange from the first game.
Tails: All's well that ends well, right? FTA:THE CITY'S BEEN FUCKING DESTROYED!
From the third part of the Dark Story, I give you this: Tom and FTA falling out.
Tom:(after FTA shot down the fact that Tom's birthday was coming soon) What do you mean, so? You bastard. FTA: So, how does it affect me? It doesn't affect me, Tom, I don't care, shut up. Tom:(starts mock-whimpering) FTA: Shut your whore-mouth. Tom:I dun wanna talk to you no more! (Beat) Yeah, that's the end of the SA2 playthrough, bye! Both:(laugh) FTA: This video contains E-drama.
The first Kingdom Hearts playthrough had its moments, such as with Parasite Cage:
Helldragon: Parasite Cage would be like, the worst roommate ever. "Hey Parasite Cage, you want something to eat?" "AAAHHH!" and he flails and he takes out the fridge. Tom: Takes out the whole left side of the house. Helldragon: "Goddamn it Parasite Cage, you need to get a fucking job!" "AAAHHHH!" "Stop killing my fridge!"
Helldragon: Why'd you put on Fairy Harp? Tom: Number one, it's green. Number two, it's more powerful than the one we were using before Helldragon: Number three, the range is pathetic. Tom: Number four, shut up. Helldragon: Number five, you just missed a treasure chest back there. Tom: Number six, I do believe you're correct. Helldragon: Number seven, ha ha ha ha ha I win. Tom: Number eight, fuck you.
The duo's efforts to make sense of the Gummi Ship space. Sonic, Tetris, and Gradius references ahoy.
From the beginning, the KHII playthrough was bound to become a riot.
Xemnas: I'm what's left. Helldragon: Of what, the pizza? Xemnas: My name is of no importance. Helldragon: (simultaneously) His name is Not Dongs. Tom: Yeah... hello there, Mr. Of No Importance.
"After he met Roxas, he became happy and free, and emotional. Fan-fictiooooon!" (Helldragon)
"And thus a thousand fanfictions were born!"
"Die, Windows! Die, Linux! Di-- Macintosh, you're alright; you don't get to die --DIIIE!" (Helldragon)
Also, their alternating Fan Nickname for Dusk Nobodies... usually they call them "Gimps", but occasionally they call them "Pimps" instead.
"Now, let's massage the giant, sweaty cat." (Helldragon)
Helldragon's mental breakdown, regarding the cars in Timeless River:
Helldragon: And that last asshole back there, that att- they're driving around like fucking maniacs now! God! Kill them! Die! Now! Today! Mind bullets! Nrrgh!
"Shake your fist in angry British rage, Tom!" "You can't see it, but my fist is wearing a monocle!"
And in Port Royale:
Helldragon: Oh yeah! (Sora turns around and sees Barbossa) Oh no!
And another moment:
NTom64: Sora, regardless of what it says in the song, you are not a pirate. HellDragon: yarr-harr fiddle yee dee being a pirate-yeah, I'm not going to sing that.
The return of an old friend... Mecha-Cage!
"I will destroy all the fridges in the world!"
During that battle, their references to This Wiki.
"And suddenly, a new Trope was born..."
"Yeah, we got Oathkeeper, but I'm a "kill things" man, and magic doesn't have the killtential that I crave..." (Helldragon)
Helldragon: He's ceased being a troll and has become a flamer. The phases of Saix: Troll, Flamer and Overall Respectable Forum Member. Not sure when that last one happens though.
Bob the Douchebag. "'What did you bring? I brought casserole.' 'I brought FIRE!' 'Why do we keep inviting him?'"
"Well, it's gonna be around 14 parts or so, if my rudimentary math skills-- GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME --are anything to go by." (NTom)
Throughout the playthrough, Tom's developing status as a Pungeon Master-- by the 100th episode, his barrage of puns has nearly caused Helldragon to lose his mind.
"With your powers combined, I am Captain Fire!" "~Captain Fire! He's on fire! Holy shit, he is always on fire!~"
Them bringing up the fact that they went away and read some Aku Roku fanfictions.
During the dialogue between Xemnas and Ansem:
NTom64: I've dreamed about recording the commentary for this for years now. HellDragon: Fine, I won't spoil it for you, you nerd. NTom64: No, I mean I woke up thinking we'd done it, but it was still during the nine months we were gone.
One more for the endgame, when Ansem's machine blows up, Tom delivers yet another killer line, which sends both of them into hysterics:
When they highlighted Sora finishing Xemnas off by stabbing him in the crotch, when the latter is in his Armor Form and the camera decides to show the action in slow motion.
During the Filler episode -- the Guardian of Metal says "Go fucking crazy!" as they're leaving the Motor Forge... and Ron does just that. "I AM THE BANANA!"
Tom, Ron and Tundraboy gunning down Metrocops while singing "Total Eclipse of the Heart."
All of the moments listed here have culminated into a hilarious, very meta segment where NTom, greatzombieron, and IRTundraBoy spend nearly half an hour discussing their own trope page. Among other things, they discuss how IRTundraBoy's barely featured at all, and how most of the quotes listed have come from Helldragon.
Of course, they're also quite willing to take a couple shots at us:
Ron's impressions of Gabe Newell and Christopher Walken. Can overlap with Squick, due to what he said during the latter.
Ron shooting Combine in the face while IRTundraBoy sings a little carnival tune. Made twice as hilarious when the combat fits the rhythm and when Ron turns to see a Combine soldier spazzing out in a door G-Mod style.
When Tom is trying to stop a fan inside an air duct so he can pass by without being cut to shreds, he's supposed to use a metal shovel. A shoe almost works. Made funnier by the fact that if he didn't hesitate before trying to pass, it would have worked, seeing how long it stopped.
Pokémon the First Movie has the gag where Tom and Helldragon are also affected by Mewtwo pressing the Reset Button, causing them to forget doing the commentary in the first place.
Also, this bit:
Helldragon: God, they weren't lying when they said that this was a storm. Tom: They said it was only a light drizzle!
Spell of the Unknown: "Stop watching Youtube and pay attention!"
Helldragon (Rayquaza): You will pay the omelet tax, so says the omelet king.
...and later still:
Helldragon: It was gonna be my balanced breakfast, goddammit!
This lovely little exchange:
Helldragon (Deoxys): Hey, I got a gift for you Rayquaza -- it's called dying! NTom (Rayquaza): But didn't you get me that last Christmas? Helldragon (Deoxys):You are so hard to shop for!
Lucario and the Mystery of Mew
"The Waltz of the CGI." (Helldragon)
Kidd accepting Brock's request to dance with him at the ball.
NTom: Oh wow, Brock actually scored for a change.
This scene when Lucario jumps Ash:
NTom: That was the perfect opportunity! Why didn't you snap his neck? Another ten years of that fucking twat that can't win any tournaments!
Helldragon wondering why Brock and Kidd are the only ones who bother to put on seatbelts. And then Tom's pun:
NTom: When Ash goes flying forward, he's going to hit a Brock.
"Okay, chlorophyll does NOT work like this. I've watched The Magic School Bus, trust me." (Helldragon)
Helldragon's hatred for Bonsly.
Ash's Pokedex entry.
At one point, Helldragon off-handily makes a joke about cutting off Max's limbs later:
NTom: what are you crying about about, 'oh Max's limbs were so beautiful before I cut them off'.
Disney-thon
A couple exchanges in the Alice in Wonderland comm, such as:
NTom: You sicken me with your ad-libbing, Aaron... I me--
From the Spiderman: Shattered Dimensions stream, when FTA was relaying questions from the live chat to Tom (who was playing at the time):
FTA: "If you were in FTA's body, and FTA was in your body, what would you do?" Tom: *In evil voice* "Initiate Self-Destruct."
Other gems:
FTA:: Tom, "what would you do for a Klondike Bar?" (Must be an American thing.) Tom:: ...Kill you?
... FTA: What is Minecraft, anyway? Tom: It's a thing, where you do stuff.
Before entering a room, the two are following a (guest) player in a race: Tom: How can he ride a bike? He has no feet! Tom: Haha, look at that! You're immortalized for all time on the HellfireComms livestream. You are shit! You are shit! Look at you, FC Bayern!
Another moment was when Tom was racing with a bunch of regular stream visitors. Right before the finish line, Tom was in third place. Cue a Bob-Omb appearing out of nowhere and right in front of him, putting him down to second to last. Tom was not amused, but the stream audience was.
More shenanigans ensue in the second segment of the Shattered Dimensions playthrough:
FTA: Danielnicholl says "Question: Would all three of you get into one huge porno--" What is your obsession with us in a porno? Seriously.
Tom: It would be so hot, it would be past X-rated.
Helldragon: ...What would the porno entail? Just three fat guys wishing they could have sex with someone?
Sonic Adventure 2, with a triple-bill[1] of Tom, Gareth, and Stephen (SonicMovies):
NTom:YOU BASTARD-MAN. WHY DO YOU BRING THIS HATE INTO THE PLAYTHROUGH?!
Earlier from the same video: "That's 'cause you're a BITCH!" (NTom)
And of course:
NTom: Now, I will say, he's definitely not in the game; Robotnik -- you know, Merlina's not, at the last second, gonna, like, pull off a face and it's Robotnik wearing a dress...
FTA: That would have been the greatest thing ever...! -laughs-
"Oh god, I feel Deviant ART clicking as we speak." (NTom)
This:
Tom: Now I believe someone in the, er, comments section of the non-commentary version that's on HellfirePlaythroughs actually said in a moment, Sonic looks like he's coming on to Caliburn.
FTA: *LOLs* Oh Christ almighty! "What's a nice sword like you doing in a place like this?" *cracks up again*
Tom: "Mm, you're a studly piece of metal." *laughs*
FTA: That's hilarious. This game's dirtier than 06!
From the (now-removed) Sonic and the Secret Rings playthrough, when Tom calls FTA out:
The entirety of the SharkBoy & LavaGirl commentary (and the loss of sanity within), but some moments stick out:
Helldragon: George Lopez has fucking snapped, and he's gonna kill me! "I know everything, and you know nothing, little bitches!" NTom: Remember where we parked LavaGirl.
Every single moment of the Harlem Globetrotters Meet Snow White commentary.
The first "HellfireComms Versus"; in a nutshell: NTom and Helldragon. Battleship. Hilarity Ensues.
The second "HellfireComms Versus"; in a nutshell: NTom and Helldragon. Yu-Gi-Oh!. Hilarity Ensues.
Several moments in the Dragonball Evolution commentary; near the end at one point, Tom bursts into high-pitched, hysterical laughter at the stupidity of the movie.
Helldragon: Whitest movie ever!
This line from the Ben 10 live action movie. Let's just say the reason why the line came up was because the Big Bad of the film wants Ben.
