Jamie Lily Zacherley
The Main Sue of the series, although it´s hard to tell if she is meant to be it or Hermione. Word of God has confirmed that she is meant to be a mixture between Harry and Hermione - and with that, only the good traits. She is the top of all her classes, and is loved by all and everyone on Hogwarts - well, except Dick Bancroft, with whom she has a tension with. She also has the ability to judge people - meaning that she immediately knows if a person is trustworthy or not. She is also a Animagus - a ability that is supposed to be rare, yet almost everyone is. Her Animagus is a Unicorn.
In her 5th year on Hogwarts, her parents get killed in a road accident, and since then lives with Harry and Hermione, together with her younger sister, Emily, and Caitlin, whom she befriended at the start of that year.
- Purity Sue: She is portrayed as being the purest girl of her year (or all of Hogwarts), and wants her first time to be so special that she wants it to be some kind of ceremony - as per tradition in her family.
- God Mode Sue: Her (very Freudian) killing of Madam Hooch in her Animagus form may be interpreted as such. Though she never uses that ability ever again, even in need.
- Holier Than Thou: Comes across as this on several occasions.
- Friend of all living things
- Gratuitous French: Is fluent in french, and demonstrates this on vacation in Cap d´Agde and the nudist cruise.
- Hypocrite: Scolds Caitlin for thinking about having sex with Matt when she is only 13, despite having flashed her genitalia to Alex when she was even younger.
- Informed Ability: At the start of the first fic, Hermione states that she is the top of all her classes - then she fails Diviniation and gets a low grade in another at the end.
- Slasher Smile: Jamie is described as having the "famous Zacherley smile", which is never described, yet some have envisioned it as a slasher smile.
- Mary Sue Classic: The way she gets introduced and is shown to be in the first chapters of the first fic - she is perfect in every way, everyone (except Dick Bancroft and his friends, despite him apparently crushing on her) loves her and is immediately smitten by her.
- Hot for Teacher: Because Harry Potter had saved her when she was a child from being raped, she immediately falls for him when he is revealed to be the new DADA teacher - though before that she had read all she could get hands on about him. During her first lesson with him, she decides to give her virginity to him.
- Tragic Backstory: Her parents were imprisoned in a concentration camp for not being pureblood, and due to experiments on them their magic is broken, apparently. They were saved the moment Voldemorts curse didn´t work on Harry, and decided to name Jamie after his parents. Later, when Jamie is a child, she almost gets raped during a Quidditch tournament, and is saved by Harry.
- The Woobie: Becomes this after her parent´s are killed.
- The Ghost: Is this when Hermione mentions her in the first chapter of the first fic, and only appears in chapter 3, during the sorting.
Caitlin Garrison Potter
Caitlin is a orphan who during the summer before her first year on Hogwarts gets raped and left for dead by Madam Hooch. Immediately after the sorting, she get´s close to Jamie Zacherley and quickly adapts to nudism. On the day where she and Hermione testify against Madam Hooch, they bond and the same evening Hermione adopts her. Both Caitlin and Jamie pressure Hermione into nudism, and later Harry and others too.
- The Orphan: Her mother died just before giving birth to her, and her Muggle father left her mother before she was born, after she told him she was a Witch.
- The Woobie: Not only because she is an orphan, but also because she was raped by Madam Hooch.
- Angst Sue: Is one of the Sues that angsts the most.
Emily is the younger sister of Jamie. Like Jamie, she is a very vocal nudist, and of all the nudists in the series, she is by far the most radical one. Not only does she not care if people are uncomfortable of her being nude, she also pressures the people around her into nudism, like with Kim, whom she and her sisters befriend. Has a relationship with the 20 year old Roger Fortescue when she is 12.
- Squick: At age 12-13 she has a relationship with 20 year old Roger Fortescue, whom she later asks to "kiss her like a woman".
- Jerk Sue: Is by far the most rude of all the Sues.
- It´s All About Me: Is extremely self centered.
- The Ghost: Is mentioned in the first chapter of the first fic together with Jamie, and first appears in the middle of the fic.
Kim Thatcher is a Muggle born Witch who only learns of being a Witch the summer before her first year, and is visited by Hermione so she could explain it all to her mother. Comes from a disfunctional family, where her mother is victim of domestic abuse, and is extremely scared of everything when she becomes a victim of Dick Bancrofts pranks on the Hogwarts Express. Is immediately then befriended by Emily, Caitlin and Jamie, who then pressure her into nudism. Is later almost raped by her abusive stepfather, and get´s involved with an american Wizard named Brian.
- The Woobie: Comes from a dysfunctional family, and is later almost raped by her abusive stepfather.
- Butt Monkey: In Hogwarts Too Exposed, she is this to Emily.
- Angst Sue
The new Minister of Magic at the beginning of the series. While Neil tries to portray her as ambiguos for most of the first fic, it is revealed at the end that she is the Big Bad, the Great One. As the Great One, she wrecks havoc through out both the Wizard World and the Muggle Worl, though we never really are shown this. She also seeks to revive Salazar Slytherin, and have him as her henchman while she rules the Wizard World. After kidnapping Jamie, Caitlin and Emily, she finally succeeds in resurrecting Salazar Slytherin, who then kills her. Her minions are Damien, Crabbe and Goyle, and Madam Hooch.
After her death, she is quickly mentioned, but her evil acts are completely forgotten, and then she never gets mentioned or referrenced again for the rest of the series.
- Big Bad: For most of the series, she is the Big Bad.
- Villains out shopping: How some of her scenes seem.
- Wicked Witch: How she sounds during the resurrection ceremony.
- Flat Character: Is actually never given a single description.
- The Reveal: What Neil tried to portray it like when she is revealed to be the Great One in the last chapter of the first fic, although there never were any other suspects.
- Unfortunate Implications: Of the entire female cast, she is the only independent woman, and is the Main Villain.
- They Wasted a Perfectly Good Plot: Her entire subplot around her wrecking havoc with terror attacks and the entire Salazar Slytherin plot, yet they are pushed aside for soap opera scenarios and talks about nudism.
- They Wasted a Perfectly Good Character: Is never given any other characterisation beyond her being the Minister of Magic and the Great One.
- The Chess Master: Is hinted at being this, although most of that is informed.
- Moustache Twirling Villain
- Meaningful Name: It´s not hard to guess that she is the Main Villain upon her first appearence.
Madam Hooch is the former flying instructor of Hogwarts. Though known from canon, her brief role there is extremely unrecogniseable here. In Hogwarts Exposed, she is not only the flying instructor, but also a child molesting rapist. Shortly after Hermione becomes a teacher, Madam Hooch starts begging her to have sex with her, to show her how much she loves her. When Hermione one night says no again and tries to brush her of, Madam Hooch bites her nipple off. Yes, you read that right. Then, 3 years later, while she is teaching in a summer camp, she rapes 12 year old Caitlin Garrison and leaves her to die. Although she is found guilty after both Caitlin and Hermione testify against her, she is given a light sentence - most likely because Emma Wrong controlled the court and recruited her immediately afterwards . Is later revealed to be a minion of the Great One.
- Ron the Death Eater: Most likely the most famous example of the Hogwarts Exposed series. Not only is she completely unrecogniseable, but she is basically a totally different character than the little used canon character. Some have nicknamed her case "Hooch the Nipple Eater" due to the famous scene with Hermione.
- Wicked Witch: The most literal example in the series, especially from her way of talking.
- I have you now, my pretty!: Briefly during the nipple scene in the first fic, then done very big in the third fic, Hogwarts Overexposed, when she together with Crabbe and Goyle break into the house of the Weasleys and kidnap Jamie, Caitlin, Emily, Timmy and Ben - after torturing them, of course.
- Moustache Twirling Villain: Sums her entire character here up.
- Bile Fascination: Just the bizarre way the author bastardized her character. Several sporkers and reviewers have, especially during her last scenes of Hogwarts Overexposed, wondered "Why Madam Hooch?", because of the sheer over the top evilness she is portrayed in.
- Freud was right: Is killed by Jamie in her Unicorn Animagus form by being impaled on her horn.