Homestuck/Characters/Guardians and Lusii

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


> OPEN CAST CABINET: NOTABLE HUMAN AND ALIENOID PROTECTORATES

You open the folder regarding those whose duty it is to nurture others in this story, and give it a quick perusal.


Guardians

Dad (Mr. Egbert)

John's father. Very supportive of John, and obsessed with pipes and hats.

  • Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass
  • Determinator: Apparently, he had multiple escape attempts from the Imps, refusing to give up no matter how many times he was thrown back in his cell.
  • Doting Parent: As required to by his Coddlebrand, which causes John to Wangst considerably for the first act.
  • Epileptic Trees: Could he be Problem Sleuth? (Answer: No).
  • Eyeless Face: All the adults so far have been featureless except for one part of their face. Mr. Egbert's one feature is his nose.
  • Good Smoking, Evil Smoking: Smokes a Pipe of Patriarchal Authority.
  • Improbable Weapon User: He uses cakes and shaving cream.
  • James Bondage: The Shale Imps capture him repeatedly after John's house is transported into the Incipisphere. He manages to break out just as frequently, however.
  • Kitsch Collection: He has a fanatical obsession with harlequins and joker figures. Or maybe not.
    • Whether or not he likes harlequins, he certainly likes pipes.
  • Megaton Punch: He delivers one to a Shale Imp during his escape from the dark world.
  • Noodle Incident: And he also has a restraining order from Cirque Du Soleil, although the reason why has never been fully explained.
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: It's heavily suggested he knows more about the overarching plot than previously thought.
  • Official Couple: With Ms. Lalonde.
  • So Proud of You: A note left in the safe, claiming that since John was strong enough to lift it, he's now a real man. Subverted however, since John is definitely unable to lift the safe; it only opened when it broke after Rose dropped it on an Imp.
    • He seems to do this all the time, perhaps because of John's wall scribbles, on which he calls himself a "fool" and a "lame kid".
  • Super Strength: Dad is just as strong as a kid thinks his father is. He is powered by pure MANGRIT. While on Derse, he punches a Shale Imp right through a stone wall. Add this to the fact that he also expects his son to be able to lift a huge floor safe, and it's pretty likely he has this.
  • Trickster Archetype: Much less so than his mother or son, but John observes quite early on that Dad usually enjoys the prankster's gambit on their exchanges, so he has the skills, if nothing else.

Mom (Mrs/Ms/Miz. Lalonde)

Rose's mother. An alcoholic rich woman.

  • Action Mom: While she doesn't seem to care that much about her daughter (or does she?), she's still a mom who knows kung fu.
  • Alcoholic Parent: See Lady Drunk
  • Alternate Character Interpretation: She constantly showers her daughter in ridiculously over-the-top, elaborate ways. Rose interprets this as her being cruelly sarcastic, but whether the displays of affection are actually malicious or genuine has yet to be determined.
    • Also, it's implied that she may have a few screws loose.
  • Badass: Has shown herself to be every bit as competent as the other Guardians in a fight.
  • Crazy Prepared: She had a secret escape passage made in the family cat's tomb. This comes in handy once the fire gets dangerously close to the house.
  • Drunken Master: BLOTTO-PARRY!
  • Kitsch Collection: Like Mr. Egbert, only her house is filled with artwork of wizards rather than clowns "harlequins".
  • Lady Drunk: Is always shown with a gin martini in one hand, and it's implied she's an alcoholic.
    • She left her ever present drink behind when she left Rose in the Land of Light and Rain, presumably to take on the huge monster that we see her killing in >Jack: ASCEND.
  • Mad Scientist: The passage underneath Jaspers' mausoleum leads to a gigantic underground laboratory that houses cloning machines, among other weird devices. There is another passage that leads up to Mom's bedroom (or what Rose thought was Mom's bedroom), so she's clearly in on it.
  • Scarf of Asskicking: Had it when she's nearly blown up by the meteor carrying baby John; gets it back from Dad when they're reunited in Skaia.

Bro

Dave's brother. Like Dave, he is obsessed with being cool. Has a bizarre puppet obsession.

Becquerel

Jade's guardian. A reality warping dog, and the probable first guardian of Earth. Later on is prototyped with Jade's Kernelsprite. This is not a good thing.


Lusii

Lususprites

The trolls' sprites, with the exception of Aradiasprite. Prototyped with their Lusus Naturae, a kind of monster that takes the place of a parental figure in troll culture, all of which had beforehand died in bizarre and tragic accidents.

GL'BGOLYB, a deep sea monster also known as THE RIFT'S CARBUNCLE, EMISSARY TO THE HORRORTERRORS, or in more hushed tones, SPEAKER OF THE VAST GLUB.