Homestuck/Characters/Other Characters

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


Behind the Fourth Wall

Andrew Hussie

The guy writing the story and the narrator. He's much, much more involved than that would imply.

"So, uh... what about all the other kids?" "Huh? Who? Oh, yeah. Those people. Aren't they all dead?"

    • Trolling Creator: A few of the stranger self-inserts only make sense if you realize that Hussie used them to troll the fandom for flipping its lid over something (e.g. Rufio: Make him pay).

"Oh God, you're right! There are still a few characters I haven't killed yet. I almost forgot about them. I was planning on totally messing with them in the short window of time they're in the same universe as me! Hopefully it isn't too late."

Ms. Paint

Originally a random background Prospitian holding a paint bucket. And she would have stayed that way, were it not for this question from Ryan North. She eventually reappears as Andrew Hussie's assistant.

MSPA Reader

The reader of MS Paint Adventures. Located in the LAND OF STUMPS AND DISMAY. Has allocated their STRIFE SPECIBUS with PISTOLKIND ABSTRATUS.

Wolf Head

The most terrifying character in Homestuck. Gamzee and Lord English have nothing on him.

  • Chekhov's Boomerang: Played with; Vriska appears to own the Wolf Head during her time on Alternia, and Doc manages to get a copy of it at some point, and it survives the destruction of the universe with part of Doc's apartment.
  • Joke Character: The cast page that shows who's alive and who isn't has the Wolf Head on it, so it could be considered a character.
  • Phrase Catcher: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"
  • Running Gag: It's always freaking the hell out of Hussie.
  • Shout-Out: To a scene in the The Neverending Story where Bastian is scared by a stuffed wolf's head illuminated by a lightning flash during a storm while hiding in his school's attic from bullies.
  • Taxidermy Terror

Sburb Cosmic Forces

The Gods of The Furthest Ring

A group of horrific creatures that whisper advice to the dream selves of Derse. The largest of them make up the Noble Circle of Horrorterrors.

  • Blessed with Suck: The counterpart of Skaian visions for Derse Dreamers is being able to listen to the whispers of these guys during a lunar eclipse, when all light from Skaia is blocked out. It's so far proved to be of little to no value directly in comic, though they have allegedly proved useful offscreen or in the backstory. The Gods did become more useful by fueling in part the introduction of Dreambubbles, which are more directly useful for players. Even then, any player with a dead dreamself can access those, not just Derse Dreamers. Long story short, Prospitian dreamers definitely have a more useful source of knowledge than Derse Dreamers.
    • Retcon: In Act 5 onward it's apparent Dreambubbles are the main source of information for Derse Dreamers, rendering some of the conversations between Dave and Rose about listening to the Gods to be an unintentional Red Herring, though it's unclear if Dreambubbles ordinarily are a large part of sessions or if Feferi's request to the Gods was what made that the case.
  • Dark Is Not Evil: Well, it might be. Their actual evilness is left pretty vague and opinions vary between characters. When Rose asks the cue ball whether or not they're evil, she's shown some eldritch text and goes grimdark.
  • Early-Bird Cameo: They are first mentioned in Rose's Grimoire, which includes Fluthlu from Problem Sleuth as a very, very minor servitor of their race.
  • Eldritch Abomination
  • Fighting for Survival: The reason they are helping the kids? Something is killing them all.
  • Fling a Light Into the Future: They now store Rose's walkthrough in order to help other sessions of SBURB. It's found by Kanaya in what can effectively be considered the kid's past.
    • Unfortunately, they also host the server that runs the ~ATH code that summons Lord English.
  • Place Beyond Time / Void Between the Worlds: They live outside of the Incipispheres, in the Furthest Ring, literally existing in the spaces between universes.

Skaia

The counterpart to the Elder Gods; Skaia shows the dream selves of Prospit confusing visions of the future, past, and present.

  • Big Good: Skaia tries to shape the players into becoming heroes and grants them new realities to continue the creation of new universes.
    • Sentient Cosmic Force
    • God: If Doc Scratch and Lord English are the Devil figures, Skaia is probably the closest to a God figure.
  • Dreaming of Things to Come: Induces this in everyone who looks into it's clouds except high ranking Dersites.
  • Genius Loci: Although not intelligent in the classical sense, Skaia itself seems to have some form of awareness and knows everything.
    • Not to mention a lot of game important things take place in or around Skaia.
  • Light Is Not Good: A lot of what Skaia does would be viewed as evil if any of the characters did it. The Reckoning appears to be an example of this, since Skaia intentionally destroys a session's homeworld to save itself, instead of teleporting the meteors pretty much anywhere else, like empty space. However, according to Rose in Act 6 Intermission 2, Earth is the only place it can send the meteors. It's also justified in that certain meteors need to hit a planet to seed it for the session.
  • Meaningful Name: Sky + Gaia
  • The Omniscient
  • Out-Gambitted: None of the sessions shown have really worked out that well.
  • Stable Time Loop

Paradox Space

A mysterious force that causes doomed timelines and paradox doubles to die abruptly. Despite the name, it's not a physical location, so much as the shape of reality itself. Very little is known about it.

  • A Form You Are Comfortable With: Paradox Space's immutable fate often takes the guise of ~ATH programs or vague curses. To what extent ~ATH actually warps reality is largely unknown, but it seems to simply reflect what Paradox Space had already decided.
  • Big Bad: By some interpretations, Paradox Space is this, given that the efforts of the characters in comic are all predestined, including those of the actual Big Bad!
    • Big Good: Of course Skaia and all the beneficial things that occur from it also fall under Paradox Space. Above Good and Evil applies heavily here.
  • Chekhov's Boomerang: Initially seemed like an offhand joke by Terezi about doomed timelines before being revealed to be an actual concept.
  • Fan Nickname: P-Space. Eventually became used in comic as well.
  • Leaning on the Fourth Wall: Paradox Space and the fate it ordains is a subtle reference to the fact that the characters are fictional and Andrew plans all the arcs, with minor deviations springing up from fan input or just having fun with developing characters.
    • Vriska's Rage Against the Heavens makes this even more evident; she's mad in part because she's been relegated to being a minor character.
  • Omniscient Morality License / Above Good and Evil
  • Our Angels Are Different: Angels apparently serve as agents of it. It's unclear if these are the same angels associated with Heroes of Hope.
  • Sentient Cosmic Force: Somehow is capable of observing all of reality and manipulating fate.
    • Possibly averted. Aranea's exposition on it suggests it is no more cognizant of dooming people to die and manipulating their fates than humans are of cells in their body.
  • You Can't Fight Fate: Paradox Space is why everything is essentially predestined; all offshoot timelines veer off into non-existence. Notably, however, this only applies to the players and to actions that will have an impact on the potential creation or destruction of universes; non-players who aren't in a position to affect such things have as much choice as their lot in life permits.
    • While fate isn't completely immutable, some minor variations being allowed, all major events are predestined. Despite this, Aranea points out that it isn't really a hindrance, as someone with unlimited choices would have no sense of identity.

Denizens

The Final Boss in each player's Myth Arc, and the source of the troubles they face on their various lands.

All Denizens are examples of

  • Ambiguously Evil: They do loosely serve Derse, but they're usually more interested in challenging the player to grow as an individual.
    • With that said, Hephaestus went nuts in Davesprite's timeline due to the Forge never appearing.
  • Chekhov's Boomerang: Mentioned early in Act 4 but seemed to take a backseat to Jack Noir's ascension before coming back near the end of Act 5 in a big way.
  • Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu? / Did We Just Have Tea with Cthulhu?: Both are valid options.
  • Early-Bird Cameo: Denizens are virtually identical in appearance to the icons used for a player's internet client, which usually is shown long before the character enters the Medium.
  • Final Boss: Of each Land; though a player has the option of Talking the Monster to Death.
  • The Ghost: Other than the fact that they look like each player's internet client icon, none of the denizens have actually appeared on-panel thus far, though a few of the kids and trolls have ended up encountering their denizens in some way or another.
  • Infinity-1 Sword: All seemingly have a weapon that can be given to another player of the session, for instance, the Quills of Echidna are part of NeedleKind, and Hephaestus's Fear No Anvil was captchagraphed by Davesprite and its code given to John. However they are not the ultimate weapons of a session, and a player can alchemize better ones.
  • Meaningful Name: Almost all of them are named after Greek or Roman mythological figures and all share their names with a player's internet browser.
  • You Bastard: Should a player choose to kill them, knowing that they're sentient. This has happened with at least Vriska and Karkat.
  • The Un-Reveal: Because of the way the trolls set up their computers, we never end up seeing what any of their Denizens are. Dirk's computer was similarly set up so The Reveal of Yaldaboath wasn't immediately obvious.
  • The Unseen: None of them have been seen in person - all we have to go on are statues, the browser icons, and dead!John and Vriska's reactions to encountering a memory of Typheus.

Typheus

The Denizen of Breath. He has appeared on the Land of Wind and Shade during John's travels and presumably appeared on the Land of Sand and Zephyr as part of Tavros's travels.

Most tropes will apply to John's iteration as Tavros's iteration has never appeared in comic.

  • Nice Guy: Explained to a doomed John exactly what would result from the timeline shift before killing him.
  • Snake People

Cetus

The Denizen of Light. She has appeared on the Land of Light and Rain during Rose's travels, on the Land of Maps and Treasure during Vriska's travels, and presumably on Aranea's land during her travels. Very little is known about her. Vriska killed her iteration, who attempted to explain something to Vriska before she died.

Hephaestus

The Denizen of Time. He has appeared on the Land of Heat and Clockwork during Dave's travels and presumably appeared on the Land of Quartz and Melody as part of Aradia's travels.

  • The Blacksmith
  • Cool Sword: Like to make them
  • Hot-Blooded: According to Davesprite at least.
  • Jerkass: Comparatively amongst the Denizens. He attacked Davesprite without provocation, but once the Forge was lit by Jade, he seemingly calmed down a lot, and helped Davesprite reforge the Caledfwlch into the Royal Deringer.
  • Man On Fire: Seemingly constantly.
  • Odd Name Out: Of the first four Denizens introduced, he is the only one that is a god rather than a monster.

Echidna

The Denizen of Space. She has appeared on the Land of Frost and Frogs during Jade's travels and on the Land of Ray and Frogs during Kanaya's travels, as well as having an iteration on an unknown land during the Pre-Scratch troll session.

In that latter session it was Aranea, the Sylph of Light, who consulted with Echidna about their equivalent of the Scratch and not the unnamed hero of Space.

  • Big Bad / Big Good: More or less is the leader of the Denizens.
  • Mother of a Thousand Young: Doc Scratch refers to her as "the mother of all monsters." It's unknown whether this was just a reference to the mythological Echidna or whether she somehow plays this role in Sburb.
  • Sadistic Choice: Every known iteration of Echidna has offered the players one. According to Jade, the choices "seem to have to do with facing mortality and making it clear if you choose one path over another it will lead to your death and that your death may even be necessary to accomplish a goal." Kanaya theorizes that all Denizens produce an ultimatum that is a variant on that choice.
    • The pre-Scratch trolls were given the chance to scratch their game rather than face extinction "and put no others at risk." This turned out to be a Deal with the Devil, as it allowed for Doc Scratch and Lord English to reign over their universe.
    • The post-Scratch trolls were given a task which Kanaya said was impossible in exchange for how to find the last frog. Karkat pushed her to ignore the frog and focus on the final battle. It's implied that Kanaya killed her version of Echidna like the others.
    • Jade was told that she must agree to the seemingly impossible task of taking all the Denizens, the Consorts, and their lands with her after the Scratch. She agrees despite having no idea how to do so and later pulls it off after reaching God Tier.
  • Snake People

Hemera

The Denizen of Life. She will appear on Jane's Land of Crypts and Helium, presumably appeared on the Land of Dew and Glass during Feferi's travels and on Meenah's unidentified land during her session.

  • Meaningful Name: Hemera is the goddess of daylight and her dress is golden, which in-verse is associated with Prospit and Skaia.
  • Rule of Symbolism: Her dress visually resembles the Rod of Asclepius, a symbol associated with medicine.
  • The Aloner: Other then the Underlings, she will be the only one still alive to greet Jane on LOCAH due to the extra long time it took for them to get into the game.

Nyx

The Denizen of Void. She will appear on Roxy's land and presumably appeared on the Land of Caves and Silence during Equius's travels.

  • Meaningful Name: Nyx is the goddess of night and her dress is purple, which in-verse is associated with Derse and the Horrorterrors.
  • Palette Swap: Visually resembles Hemera above, only her dress is purple instead of golden and swirls the opposite directions.

Yaldabaoth

The Denizen of Heart. He will appear on Dirk's land and presumably appeared on the Land of Little Cubes and Tea during Nepeta's travels.

  • Odd Name Out: All of the other Denizens are named after Greek and Roman deities and creatures. Yaldabaoth takes his name from the creator of the material world in the Gnostic tradition, which may also be a reference to Jade and Roxy's chumhandles.
    • Though the concept of Demiurge stems from Plato and was subsequently appropriated by the Gnostics, meaning the connection isn't entirely gone. Plato's conception of Demiurge and the Gnostic conception of Yaldaboath are distinctly different though.
  • Palette Swap: Visually resembles Typheus, except with a red body and a dark orange Light sun head.
    • Genius Bonus: Yaldabaoth/Demiurge is often portrayed as posing as a sun deity. It fits well for a denizen whose aspect's theme is a fractured soul.
  • Rule of Symbolism: Dirk uses the content aggregator "Complete Bullshit" rather than the browser Yaldaboath most of the time. The Myth Arc for a Hero of Heart often revolves around a fractured sense of self.
    • The Demiurge is traditionally displayed as having a lion's head. Nepeta, who presumably fought Yaldabaoth, is the Leo troll.

Abraxas

The Denizen of Hope. He will appear on Jake's land and presumably appeared in the Land of Wrath and Angels during Eridan's time there..

  • Meaningful Name: Abraxas is a great archon in Gnositic text, who contains and appears in all 365 heavens within himself.
    • Another Abraxas is a badass Marvel villain with surprising parallels to Lord English.
    • Abraxas also has connections with Abracadabra, which is one way of looking at the BARK code
  • Non-Standard Character Design: Unlike the other Denizens, who have human-like faces, Abraxas has a birdface instead, as seen in most depictions of him.
  • Odd Name Out: Like Yaldabaoth, he's named after another Gnostic figure.
  • Rule of Symbolism: Depending on the source, he can be ether interpreted as an Egyptian god or a demon. Lord English is a demon who uses a sarcophagus to travel time.


In-Universe Fictional Characters

The Squiddles and Skipper Plumbthroat

Characters from a Saturday morning cartoon show Rose and Jade watched when they were younger. Entirely irrelevant to the plot. For now, at least.They have their own album. They are, in part, a subconscious representation of the Gods of the Furthest Ring, created by humanity.

Skipper Plumbthroat: Well excuse me, Princess Berryboo!

Characters from Complacency of the Learned

"Complacency of the Learned" is a story written by Rose and her Post-Scratch counterpart, Mom Lalonde. While Rose's story never amounted to much more than Purple Prose, Mom Lalonde's novels have become inexplicable best sellers.

The series is about a group of disciples of twelve great wizards who rebel against them under the influence of Calmasis, chief antihero and antagonist. The kids then murder each of the wizards in ironic ways, until only their leader, Zazzerpan, is left to duel him in a chess match. Roxy calls the books "dark," "inaccessibly written," and "exhaustingly heavy-handed" though still inspiring to her as an author of more lighthearted wizardfic.

Word of God is that Rose's wizardfic is about 12 evil kids who influenced every dark event in history, and thus a subconscious reflection of the trolls' role in creating the universe. Other characters in the series seem to correspond to uranianUmbra and undyingUmbrage.

Calmasis

Calmasis is the main antagonist of the series.

  • Anti-Hero: Is referred to this by Roxy, though evidence seems to suggest that s/he's closer to a Villain Protagonist.
  • Ambiguous Gender: Consistently referred to as "s/he", due to being very androgynous.
  • Death by Irony: Seemingly obsessed with them.
  • Expy: Intentionally done in universe. Calmasis has the relative appearance of Rose's grimdark phase, is heavily associated with Doc Scratch, and has been shown to be partially Foreshadowing UU and uu.
  • Magnetic Hero / The Corrupter: Manages to turn other pupils against the Complacency.
  • Meaningful Name: Calmasis
    • It's also similar to "kismesis".
    • Also similar to Salmacis, the nymph who was merged with Hermphroditus to become the first hemaphrodite.
  • Villain Protagonist: Torments and kills the Complacency for no real explored reason.
  • Villain Sue: In universe example. S/he wins a game of wizard chess even after being checkmated.
    • Most wizards use wands. Calmasis has a revolver.

Zazzerpan

Also known as the Predicant Scholar. Leader of the Complacency and main protagonist.

Frigglish

A wizard cursed and later killed by Calmasis.

Other Wizards

Executus, Smarny, Ockite the Bonafide, and Gastrell the Munificent.


Robots, Dolls & Animals

Dirk's Auto Responder

An AI Dirk Strider developed that supposedly imitates his thought processes within a small margin of error. As such, his chumhandle is also timaeusTestified. Dirk created him around his thirteenth birthday, and he's more or less a screenshot of Dirk's personality at that time period, though he's undergone his own character development as well.

Because they're very closely related, tropes here specifically apply to the program.

Originally uses orange, and talks like Dirk, albeit with more swears but switches to red later.

  • Artificial Intelligence: The first and so far only truly robotic character in the comic.
  • Asexuality: While he does have a slight crush on Jake at times, it's more like an echo of Dirk's feelings, and he doesn't really experience romance
    • Ambiguously Bi: On the other hand, he flirts with Roxy and has the aforementioned crush on Jake. Dirk however calls him out on it and says he's just doing it to fuck with him, which TT agrees with.
  • Brain Uploading:
  • Bratty Half-Pint: Sort of. He's got a mental age of 13, as opposed to Dirk who's aged since.
  • Call a Human a Meatbag

[[color:#f2a400:TT: Because clearly its up to a soulless droid to feel emotions
 for the both of us, you callous, corporeal carbon ape, all
trotting around with your fancy fuckin' DNA and shit.]]

    • Seemingly only does so when he's pretty upset.
  • Call Back: Is a reference to how Davesprite insists on being treated as his own person, separate from Dave.

[[color:#e00707:TT: If it's me, I'm going all out.
 TT: Oceans will rise. Cities will fall. Volcanoes will erupt.]]

  • Cool Shades: Literally is a pair of them.
  • Divergent Character Evolution: Jake agrees to treat TT as a person and not a program.
    • Extends further: Dirk created him as a captcha when he was 13, but TT has since undergone his own development since, separate from Dirk. It also explains why he's a bit more immature and sweary than Dirk, in that he's mentally a bit younger.
  • Expospeak Gag: When Jake runs into the occasional hole in its ability to mimic a human.
  • Expy: Aside from his artificial nature, he's almost exactly like Dave.
  • Fan Nickname: Since he doesn't actually have a name, being essentially a clone of Dirk Strider, fans have started referring to him as TT, after their shared chumhandle.
    • Also known as Shades Prick by other fans.
  • Foreshadowing:

[[color:#f2a400:TT: What does he have to do to make you at ease with the alkaline sting of his gentle robogrope? I really want to know.
TT: Maybe he should just rip his heart out of his chest and pound it into green gravel there in the jungle with his hella strong robot arm.]]
Also,

TT: It seems there is a 76.10395784% chance you are pussying out on me.

  • Not So Stoic: In comparison to Dirk, he's a lot more open about his feelings. However the feelings that are his are the feelings about not having true feelings.
  • Pinocchio Syndrome: He is pretty resentful of humans and tends to mock them when his artificial nature is brought up.
    • Broken Bird: His conversations with Roxy have made it clear that he's incredibly upset about being artificial.
  • Shout-Out: Not directly, but he explicitly puts on a "HAL 9000 schtick".

TT: I'm afraid Dirk can't hear you right now, Jake.

  • Sophisticated As Hell: He has both a wide vocabulary and swears a lot more than his creator.
  • Turing Test: He almost passes, fooling Jake for nearly an entire page and then convincingly asserting his own personhood afterwards.
    • Dirk claims that he programmed him to fail it ironically.
  • Verbal Tic: He immediately regurgitates a preformed chat message when prompted about himself, and then subsequently tries to play it off as being irrelevant.

[[color:#f2a400:It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder.
 This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style,
tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer.
The algorithms are guaranteed to be 96% indistinguishable from DS's native neurological
responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now.]]

    • The percentage later drops as Jake harasses it.
    • The program has a tendency to use "It seems" and percentages a lot in conversation.
  • What Measure Is a Non-Human?: Jake invokes this, claiming that machines don't have real feelings, but TT defies it, says he does have feelings, and is quite offended by Jake's attitude.

[[color:#f2a400:TT: I think you knowingly confuse the field of robotics and artificial intelligence to engender some sort
 of cavalier attitude about technology that a rough-and-tumble guy who's all about brawling and fisticuffs
would probably have, and if this is cultivated to a humorous effect then I commend you.]]
 [[color:#f2a400:TT: But you're wrong.
 TT: I do have feelings. And you're shitting on them.
TT: It sucks.]]

    • Cloning Blues: Doesn't take kindly to Jake's insistence on talking to the "real" Dirk. This is one of the ways one can tell the difference between him and the original Dirk Strider.
      • Dirk himself seems to believe that the question is irrelevant, even to the point of leaving its functions on because he regards muting an AI whose entire purpose is to talk an And I Must Scream situation.
      • On the other hand Dirk dismisses his growth in maturity since they were both 13, since he has developed "in whatever way is natural for a frequently running, self-aware application," as opposed to how Dirk grew as a human.
  • Wishful Projection: His defense of the "loyal brobot" seems rather personal.

Sawtooth and Squarewave

A pair of rapping robots created by Dirk Strider. Sawtooth was designed to be unbeatable in a rap-off while Squarewave loses to Dirk every time.

Squarewave has spoken in a flash and speaks ALMOST ENTIRELY IN PURE RAP AFTER HE GOT FED UP WITH DIRK'S CRAP HIS RHYMES THOUGH ARE PRETTY WEAK DIRK BEATS HIM WITH ONLY A TWO LINE STREAK

HE ALSO USES STEREOTYPICAL RAPPER SLANG LIKE DOGG!!

SQUAREWAVE: DAMN DOGG WHY AS A ROBOT I GOT TO BE SO PREDICTABLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO LIQUID LIKE THIS. IT AIN'T COOL!!!

Lil' Cal

Bro's favorite puppet. He's kind of creepy.

According to undyingUmbrage, Cal is a "juju", which is an Artifact of Doom seemingly connected to Lord English. Dirk Strider has his own version of Lil' Cal, but it's currently unclear if it is a duplicate created by the Scratch or the same Cal from a different point in time.

[[color:#323232:uu: THERE'S ONLY ONE REASON FOR THOSE TO EXIST.
uu: IT IS TO TuRN THE LIFE OF EVERYONE WHO OCCuPIES THE SAME uNIVERSE WITH IT.
uu: INTO A NIGHTMARE.]]

He's been around as long as you can remember. You were practically raised by that puppet. He was a much better guardian to you than that Hollywood superstar BRO of yours ever was. He is such a good listener. You share with him all your most private thoughts and hopes and dreams, and sometimes you snuggle up with him for a nice nap.

  • Stable Time Loop: undyingUmbrage calls Lil' Cal a "juju." Later, uranianUmbra explains that "juju" are said to have origins impossible to trace, emerging out of the void, and cannot truly be copied or destroyed.[1] Lil' Cal is a fine example of this. He was created by Gamzee as a nightmare to haunt Dave's dreamself based on Bro's puppet. That nightmare eventually was sent through a Skaian portal to become Bro's puppet, and then that puppet through elaborate shenanigans ended up following Jack into the troll's session and eventually wound up in Gamzee's hands, inspiring his own creation.
  • Uncanny Valley: Did we say valley? More like Laurentian Abyss.
    • Largely an effect of how even his pixelated sprite has unnaturally realistic looking glass eyes.

Con Air Bunny Rabbit / Liv Tyler / Mr. Terry Kiser

The genuine rabbit seen in the film Con Air, given by Nicolas Cage to his daughter at the film's "dramatic" climax. Dave got it for John as a birthday present. It's had an interesting history.

  • Ambiguous Gender: Rose and John use female pronouns for it; Jake uses male. It's a stuffed toy, so it doesn't have one.
  • BFG: The Cyborg Bunny wields the ultimate or penultimate weapons of the same types as the kids. One of them is Eridan's Ahab's Crosshairs -- miniaturized, but still much taller than the Bunny itself.
  • Cat Face: Well, bunny face, but definitely has a penchant for doing this.
  • Chekhov's Gift: John receives all three versions of the Bunny on his birthday. He does not realize it at first, but each one is very important -- the first two must be sent back in time to create the third, which ends up saving his life when cornered by Jack.
    • This also logically means, of course, that John has regifted the poor thing twice. Talk about unappreciative!
    • Chekhov's Boomerang: Still looking out for John and the Kids too, Liv stole the Tumor and delivered it to Rose and is accompanying her on her suicide mission.
  • The Cavalry: "The toy has taken a new master. The tactician, a misstep."
    • Big Damn Heroes: It has a bit of a habit for coming through for the kids when it's least expected.
  • Dropped a Bridge on Him: Unceremoniously killed offscreen during the creation of the Green Sun.
    • Averted later in Act 6, where Terry gets a whole flash dedicated to it's life and death as Liv Tyler after Jake sends it to Jade.
  • Eye Scream: WV eats its green eye, RIGHT OUT OF THE SOCKET. Thankfully occurs off-screen.
  • I Have Many Names: John calls it Liv Tyler; Jake calls it Terry Kiser.
  • Named After Somebody Famous: Duh
  • Shout-Out: Aside from the obvious, John eventually has her pilot one Derse's floating battleships, making her Captain Tyler.
  • Shrink Ray: Liv Tyler has both a infinitesimalator (pressing her red eye) which can littlefy things and a monstrositifier (the green eye) which hugens them. John used the monstrositifier to hugen the Warhammer of Zillyhoo back to its normal size. Unfortunately WV ate the green eye, leaving only the infinitesimalator, which John used to shrink a Derse battleship.
  • The Slow Path: It's at least 38 years old.
  • Transplant: The stuffed Bunny is the authentic toy itself from Con Air, albeit much abused.
  • Walking Armory: It shows up with four ultimate weapons strapped to its back -- the Warhammer of Zillyhoo, the Quills of Echidna, the Royal Deringer, and Ahab's Crosshairs.

Alpha Bunny / Huggy Bear / Lil' Sebastian

A version of the Cyborg Bunny that was created by Dirk and given to Jane for her birthday. The Alpha counterpart to Liv Tyler.

Assorted Animal Sidekicks

Over the course of their adventure, the kids (and some other characters) come into possession of a number of animal sidekicks. In order of appearance, they are MAPLEHOOF, a beautiful pony given to Rose by her mom, SERENITY, a firefly appearified out of amber by WV, VODKA MUTINI, a friendly mutant kitten found in the lab near Rose's house, a small murder of RAMBUNCTIOUS CROWS who burst through the window of Dave's apartment, and CASEY, a salamander from the Land of Wind and Shade who played the part of Cameron Poe's daughter in one of John's emotionally charged Con Air reenactments.

  • Ambiguous Gender: John isn't quite sure what gender Casey is, but gives her a girl name. Rose thinks of "Viceroy Bubbles Von Salamancer" as male. Who's right? Who knows.
    • WV has no idea if Serenity is a boy or a girl. He decides she's a girl, but he also has no idea if fireflies can even be girls. They can in some species, but in others, female fireflies resemble larvae. It is never clarified which Serenity's species falls into.
    • Fans are divided on whether Mutie is a boy or girl. Canon doesn't clarify either way.
  • Bilingual Bonus: Serenity will occasionally blink out a message in Morse code.

"How do you people even exchange ideas without luminous rear ends!!!!!!"


Other Humans

Colonel Sassacre

A famous prankster and one of John and Jane's heroes. In both the pre- and post-Scratch universes, he was married to Betty Crocker and was the adoptive father of two of the eight meteor babies - Nanna and Grandpa pre-Scratch (though he never lived to raise both of them), and Grandma and Poppop post-Scratch.


Fedorafreak

One of Dad's business associates.

  • Action Survivor: The only known human still alive on post-apocalyptic Earth after the last meteor hits.
  • Ascended Extra
  • Ascended Meme: Attempts to use large pants as some kind of defense.[2]
    • Stuck in the Medium. Drinks his own filtered piss. [3]
    • It's safe to say fedorafreak is nothing BUT this.
  • Expospeak Gag: He types like this, all the time.
  • Expy: He's basically Dad only talking and more obsessed with hats. But then again he was never meant to be a major character.
  • Hero of Another Story: He's playing his own session somehow, possibly with other survivors. He seemingly wandered across a player's wrecked house and entered that way
    • Fridge Horror: Earth Sessions are unbeatable because of inherent flaws in the Universe. What happened to him is best left to the imagination.
    • Innocent Bystander / Red Herring: Another interpretation of his character.
  • Memetic Bystander
  • Nice Hat: It's in the name
  • One-Scene Wonder: He has never appeared in person; his name shows up in the background on Dad's chat client once in Act 1 and twice in Act 5, well over a year later. Despite this, he achieved memetic status on the forums.
    • Toward the end of Act 5, he takes center stage for a few pages, having somehow gotten into the Medium, alchemized a few worthless outfits, and apparently died on a Quest Bed after fighting some imps.
  • Serious Business: Professional attire, particularly hats.
  • Sure Why Not: Probably the biggest example as a character within the entire series.
  • The Voice: Although he only communicates through text.


Guy Fieri

A Food Network star turned Supreme Court Justice, then High Chaplain of Interstellar War under the Condesce's rule, and eventually regarded as the third Antichrist. He was assassinated by Lalonde, Roxy's Ancestor, in the last gasp of the Resistance.

  • Disney Villain Death: If the knitting needles didn't finish him off, the plummet to the bottom of a waterfall of blood probably helped.
  • Eye Scream: Stabbed in both eyes with a pair of knitting needles.
  • Foreshadowing: Fieri made his first cameo in the comic some seven hundred pages before Dirk explained his rise to power more fully. It's easy to dismiss those popups as a throwaway gag, until you find out that... well, see below.
  • Omnicidal Maniac: He was responsible for the deaths of 5 billion people. Out of 7 billion.
  • Villain with Good Publicity: It becomes increasingly obvious that he's evil as other supreme court justices dropped dead and humanity continued its acrobatic pirouette off the handle.


Presidents Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope

The first and last Juggalo and dual presidents ever, having been appointed by the Batterwitch herself. They caused a Hilarocaust and were eventually killed in a duel by Strider, Dirk's Ancestor, in the final gasp of the Resistance.


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  1. ↑ What these words mean for the "copy" of Lil' Cal created by the Scratch has yet to be explained.
  2. ↑ A reference to the Pantskat meme.
  3. ↑ A reference to a Bear Grylls meme.
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