Honest John's Dealership/Quotes
Jon: Honest Ed seems nice enough, Garfield, but there's something about him I don't trust. |
Q. What's the difference between a used-car dealer and a computer salesman? |
"Hey there, every peoples! I'm Bubs. I run the concession stand around the way here. I'm a self-made man, I am, I am. I sell hot dogs, chili dogs, slaw dogs, ketchup dogs and mustard dogs. I got drinks, drinks, drinks, candy and snow cones. I can fix everything what needs fixing. Like cars... TVs... marriages. Ooh! I can dance, too. [starts doing the Wave] Shake it once! Shake it twice, a-gimme little bit o' sugar spice! I guess the word that best describes me is: personality. Umm... because I have a good personality. Okay. I gotta get back to work. Come on by! We're always awesome!
—Bubs, Homestar Runner, Bubs' character video
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"York, why do you turn every conversation into an attempt to sell me something?"
—First Folio, Terror Island theorem 048
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Dr. Daniels reminded me of one of those men that sell automobiles to people, claiming they were previously owned by a little old lady who only drove it to play bingo, only to discover the car had been used for taxi service in Tijuana, to outrun the border patrol smuggling illegal aliens from San Diego to Los Angeles, and borrowed on weekends to use as the losing entrant in the demolition derby, plus occasional Sunday morning drive-by shootings where the passers' by shot back.
—George Green in Paul Robinson's The Gatekeeper: The Gate Contracts
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He'll give you a thirty-day warranty, |
He's out to sell some used cars, —The W's, "Used Car Salesman"
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Return to Honest John's Dealership. I'll give you a hand - push from by the door so you can hop in and pop the clutch.