How to Be Conniving

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

How to be Conniving is an Ice Age fanfic created by Nameless Moonlight5 which covers a series of seven days in which time a mysterious OC named Kayka spends it by trying to hook Diego up with Sid. Seriously.

Tropes used in How to Be Conniving include:


  • Apologetic Attacker: Kayka actually apologizes to Soto after the Eye Scream she performed on him (See Below). However Soto doesn't believe she is actually sorry and says so with Kayka readily agreeing though it is unsure how sincere Kayka was being.
  • Batman Gambit: Kayka's plan to get Diego together with Sid is so that she would no longer have any hope of being together with Diego. Slightly subverted in the fact that only the first part works, not the second.
    • Also the Gods plan to force Kayka into a job as punishment for breaking all of the rules set on her to be able to go back to the earth. The funny thing is Kayka knew about it and did it anyway.
  • Betty and Veronica: Sid (Betty) and Kayka (Veronica).
  • Big Brother Attraction: Kayka, full stop.
  • Bittersweet Ending: Sure Diego gets a mate and is potentially set up to have a Happy Ending but Kayka on the other hand is stated to have willingly destroyed her own happiness and has been charged into doing a job that is heavily implied to be unpleasant and possibly damaging.
  • Blue Eyes: Kayka has these, also doubles as a Chekhov's Gun
  • Brother-Sister Incest: It is revealed that Kayka is actually Diego's little sister. This reveal is made after Diego seriously considered making Kayka his mate as well as several intimate scenes between the two including when Kayka 'kissed' him. This is even worse when you realize that Kayka knew that Diego was her brother all along and has even blatantly stated to two separate characters that she is in fact in love with her brother.
  • But Now I Must Go: Kayka does this to Diego after The Reveal.
  • Celibate Hero: Kayka could be this considering she not only plotted to set her Love Interest up with another guy and actually succeeds! but also rejects her Cleaning Up Romantic Loose Ends guy.
  • Character Tics: Kayka and tilting her head to the side.
  • Chekhov's Gun: Kayka's blue eyes which are the major hint that she is in fact dead considering she died before her eyes could change color and is what Diego questioned her on which tipped him off on Kayka's true identity.
  • Chekhov's Gunman: Soto is talked about chapters before he pops up.
  • Cleaning Up Romantic Loose Ends: Subverted. It looks like Kayka is going to hook up with Soto in the end but instead she indirectly rejects him.
  • Dead All Along: Kayka.
  • Dead Little Sister: Kayka turns out to be this for Diego.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Kayka and Diego mainly.
  • Death by Childbirth: Diego and Kayka's Mother.
  • Death of the Hypotenuse: Slightly subverted. Kayka was Dead All Along.
  • Died in Your Arms Tonight: Though Diego didn't actually have arms to cradle Kayka in it is in the same spirit...
  • Did Not Get The Guy: For obvious reasons Kayka and Diego do not get together.
  • Even the Guys Want Him: Diego.
  • Eye Scream: At one point Kayka plucks out the eye of Soto; of course he got better. Just never insult Diego while Kayka is in a certain mood, you will live longer...
  • Fatal Flaw: Kayka's need to self-destruct.
  • Foreshadowing: When Sid asks if Diego loves Kayka Diego replies that yes he loves Kayka but as a sister... guess what!
  • Forgets to Eat: Averted with Kayka, She's forbidden to eat (Not that it stops her). Or sleep.
    • Word of God says that the reason behind Kayka's inability to sleep or eat is that it was her payment for being able to walk in the living realm for seven days.
  • Ghost Shipping
  • Go Out with a Smile: Kayka, though apparently it was only her eyes that were smiling...
  • I Have Many Names: Kayka seems to be headed this way considering she gave up her true name 'Kara' when she died and then gave up 'Kayka' at the end of the story because it reminds her of too many good memories. She now wants to go by 'Kona' which apparently is a short, feminine name for 'Conniving'.
  • I Want My Beloved to Be Happy: Subverted. for even though Kayka did set Diego up with Sid it was not because she wanted Diego to be happy though in her words it 'was a bonus to the whole plot' but because she wanted to make herself miserable.
  • Infant Immortality: Sadly Averted. Kayka was killed when she was three months old.
  • Interspecies Romance: Diego and Sid who are Saber-toothed Tiger and Sloth respectively.
    • Kayka and Sid could also count.
  • Love Triangle: Diego, Sid, and Kayka.
  • Manipulative Bitch: Kayka.
  • Matchmaker Crush: Kayka who is in love with Diego while she tries to hook him up with another guy...
  • Meaningful Name: Kayka's true name 'Kara' means 'Beloved' which Diego named her for being her Mother's 'beloved' daughter. Also Kayka's new name 'Kona' is apparently a shortened version of conniving which is Kayka's most distinguished attribute.
  • Mood Swinger: Kayka, even lampshaded by several characters.
  • Murder the Hypotenuse: Adverted. Kayka only wanted to kill Sid in the beginning.
  • Never Got to Say Goodbye: Kayka is pleased when she was able to say goodbye to Diego since she couldn't say it to him when she died.
  • Obfuscating Insanity: Kayka
  • Official Couple: Diego and Sid, also Manny and Ellie.
  • Parental Abandonment: After his mate's death Diego and Kayka's Father abandons Kayka because he believes that Kayka is responsible for his mate's death.
  • The Power of Blood: Type A. Kayka feeds her dead blood to all of the members of Diego's herd in order to bind them to her so that not only can she be the only one of the dead world to touch them they get a portion of her lost years and Kayka gets to lead their souls to their judgments.
  • Promotion to Parent: Diego is implied to become this to Kayka after their father decides to have nothing to do with her after his mate's death.
  • The Reveal: Two! One that Kayka is in fact dead and the other that she is Diego's Dead Little Sister.
  • Say My Name: After Diego realizes who Kayka actually is he all but screams her real name 'Kara' for several minutes.
  • Shinigami: This is what Word of God says Kayka becomes in the end.
  • Shipper on Deck: You should know this already: Kayka.
  • "Shut Up" Kiss: Kayka does this to Diego after he stumbles on trying to tell her that he is going to go confess to Sid.
  • Single-Target Sexuality: Kayka is Diego-sexual. To bad he's her brother.
  • Snow Means Death: Kayka dies in the snow.
  • Stepford Smiler: Kayka.
  • Title Drop: 'By teaching you how to be conniving of course'
  • Trauma-Induced Amnesia: Handwaved on why Diego doesn't mention that he had a sister; he was so stricken with guilt about not being able to save her that he forced his memories of her to be suppressed.
  • Triang Relations: #9 with Kayka as 'A', Diego as 'B', and Sid as 'C'.
    • Also #3 for most of the story before it transforms into #9: with Diego as 'A' and Sid and Kayka as 'B' and 'C'.
    • #8 between Diego, Sid, and Kayka was also implied to be what would have happened if Kayka hadn't been Dead All Along.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: Kayka and Soto definitely fit into this what with how much they attack each other, both verbally and physically, in the only conversation between them.
    • Sid and Kayka could also fit...
  • Wham! Line: 'Because they never got the chance to change'
  • What Beautiful Eyes!: Kayka's blue eyes.
  • Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Diego has two fears; his fear of water that he had conquered in the second movie and his fear of ridicule. Kayka has one; dying.
  • Yandere: Kayka has some of these traits...
  • Yaoi Fangirl:

Kayka: 'Nope… actually I think it's kind of cute'
Diego: 'I knew it; you are that type of female aren't you?'

Kayka: 'Yep!'