I've Got an X and I'm Not Afraid to Use It

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

Stock threat/warning that you, er... Exactly What It Says on the Tin. Contrast with He's Got a Weapon!.

Only actual quotes please. I've Got An Edit Button Too And I'm Not Afraid To Use It.


I've Got Examples and I'm Not Afraid to Use Them!

I've got Comic Books and I'm not afraid to use them!

I've got Film and I'm not afraid to use it!

I've got Literature and I'm not afraid to use it!

  • Feet of Clay: "I've got a bow and I'm not afraid to use it!" The crossbow's point moved uncertainly, proving him a liar.
  • At the climax of The Wee Free Men, the Nac Mac Feegle have a cheap lawyer, and they're not afraid to use him! "With prejudice!"
  • Good Omens: "I've got a pin and I'm not afraid to use it."

I've got Live-Action TV and I'm not afraid to use it!

  • Gary Murray's got detention slips, and he's not afraid to use them! (against vampires)
  • Dr. Andrew Brown's got mind altering drugs in the other room and he's not afraid to use them!
  • House's got a full bladder and he's not afraid to use it!
  • His wife has a bat. Mr. McGuire has a mitt and he's not afraid to use it.

I've got Music and I'm not afraid to use it!

  • Brad Paisley, "Flowers": "I've got a Visa in my wallet / And I'm not afraid to use it" (to continue buying roses to ask for forgiveness).

I've got Video Games and I'm not afraid to use it!

I've got Web Comics and I'm not afraid to use them!

Karl Tagon: Surrender now, Damico. I have a monkey and I know how to use it.

I've got a Web Video and I'm not afraid to use it!

I've got Western Animation and I'm not afraid to use it!

Security Guard: Beat it. I've got a walkie-talkie and I'm not afraid to use it.

  • Corpse Bride: Victor Van Dort's got a dwarf, and he's not afraid to use him!
    • He's also got a fork, and he's even less afraid to use it!
  • Kim Possible's got a website and she's not afraid to use it!
  • Shrek: Donkey's got a dragon and he's not afraid to use it!
  • Atlantis: The Lost Empire: Used by Dr. Sweet to Mole.
    • "I've got soap, and I'm not afraid to use it!"
  • An Extremely Goofy Movie: PJ has a biscotti, and he's not afraid to use it!
  • Aladdin's got a Genie and he's not afraid to use him!
  • From Garfield and Friends when Garfield is dealing with a man eating plant.

Garfield: I've got a food processor and I know how to use it!

I.M. Weasel: Nobody move! I've got a loaded monkey, and I'm not afraid to use it!
I.R. Baboon: Click, click!

I've got Something Else and I'm not afraid to use it!

  • Random bumper sticker says "I have an attitude and I'm not afraid to use it!"