I Call Him "Mister Happy"
Steve: Heheh, I'm totally nekkid in here an' you're talkin' to me.Steve: Naw man, that ain't his name. I call 'im Lil' Steve Ray Vaughn!
Marten: I'm only here to make sure you don't pass out and crack your skull in the tub. Now shut the damn door before I catch a glimpse of Little Stevie Wonder.
Promiscuous, insecure or just plain barmy men may decide, for little to no reason, to name their penis. The female equivalent (genitalia or breasts) is rarer, but not unheard of. The names themselves vary; sometimes it's their own name with 'Little' in front of it, sometimes it's something meaningful (or as meaningful as naming your penis can get) and sometimes it's just plain weird. It can occur in real life, though you may not wish to know.
What these examples tend not to mention is why a man would voluntarily use the word 'little' in the description of his penis. It seems to be a form of anthropomorphism, in which the penis is thought of as a person (who, obviously, is littler than the real person who gave the penis its name) ...Or Is It?
Also see Unusual Euphemism.
No real life examples, please; All The Tropes is not a gossip site.
- In Soul Eater, when Black Star sees Crona has three swords for his three arms, he claims he does as well: his ninja sword (Tsubaki's current form), his hand, and his "ultimate man weapon". Black Star then asks if Crona also has one of those, prompting Ragnarok to once again attempt to pull Crona's robe up.
- Jirou's Piko-Piko Meter, describing his gauge for prurience.
- Crayon Shin-chan: Shin-chan calls his "Mr. Elephant."
- Invoked in one issue of Quantum and Woody, as a female character is trying on a skin-tight body suit created by Quantum for his unrequited love interest.
"Makes me wonder who he designed it for, though — 36C seems a little optimistic, yes? ...And I'm just a tad weirded out about the amount of thought the man gave to the antibacterial microweave nestling Miss Kitty..."
- It's fanfiction. Expect an incredible amount of increasingly silly euphenisms for penises. Or go read My Immortal for brutally idiotic and growingly disgusting names for both genders' reproductive organs (Wiki Magic needed here)
- The Star Trek fanfic "Surp-Risa!" features a character thinking about "a woman's tribble". One can only assume this was an Incredibly Lame Pun on "pussy".
- Hilarity Ensues in this Smallville fanfiction and its colorfully silly names for the male equipment.
- Fleshy flugelhorn.
- Latex cavalier.
- Crotch cobra.
- Fuck muscle.
- Fleshy pogo stick.
- The West Wing fanfic The Joshua Monologues names Josh Lyman's penis "Spongebob." Donna Moss gets the corresponding "Squarepants."
- Edward Cullen's "mancarrot" (which may actually be a less horrible term than "throbbing lavender man-fruit thing", another description from the same fic) from Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation Of Edward Cullen.
- The FF.Net CSI fanfic "What if Our CSIs Were On Facebook?" by Simply Laura has a general nickname of "tarantula" (long story)and Grissom's is Stevie to differentiate it from his actual tarantula.
- Both Highlander and Merlin have frequent uses of the "sword" euphemism for obvious reasons.
- Monty Python's The Meaning of Life does a song of which the sole purpose is getting as many of these as possible in one minute.
- The 1971 British comedy Percy involves a young man who loses his penis in an accident and receives a different one via transplant. He gives his new organ the titular name.
- Brian Fantana in Anchorman:
"It's called "the Octagon," but I also nicknamed my testes -- my left one is "James Westfall" and my right one is "Doctor Kenneth Noisewater." You ladies play your cards right... you just might get to meet the whole gang."
- In the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days this is hilariously subverted by having the girlfriend naming her boyfriend's penis "Princess Sophia". He complains by saying that, if she has to name his parts, it should be a more masculine name, "something like Spike, or Butch, or Krull the Warrior King!"
- The last of which is what she names her Chinese crested (which is a small, mostly hairless breed of dog that can conceivably be mistaken for a chihuahua.)
- Early in the movie Chaos Theory, there is a competition to see who has the best name for their penis. Two of the names are "Master of the Universe, Defender of our Galaxy" and "Truth".
- In the movie North Dallas Forty, the football player portrayed by Mac Davis refers to his as "John Henry."
- In the movie Shanghai Noon Owen Wilson's character Roy O'Bannon calls his "Little Roy".
- When asked in health class to give examples of slang terms for the male erection, Jonathon Moxon of Varsity Blues reels off this doozy of a list:
- In the same vein as Varsity Blues, all of the Austin Powers movies has featured this (with visual puns) to some degree - most famously done in the first one.
- In Duplex, Alex's is called "Mr. Peabody" and thanks to a mistake by his wife, everybody including his mother knows this.
- In My Fellow Americans, we learn in a bathroom scene that the two ex-presidents (Russell P. Kramer and Matt Douglas) have named theirs "The First Penis" and "Blinky", respectively.
- In The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, the protagonist refers to his as "Stanley".
Ford:: Like the commercial; Stanley - The Power Drill!
- In Poseidon, Emmy Rossum's character refers to her breasts as "the twins" (although it's possible she was doing this just to make her father uncomfortable).
- In Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th, Doughy refers to his penis as "Thor's Hammer." He mistakenly believes that the Big Dipper is this for the constellation Orion.
- In Bluebeard (1972, starring Richard Burton), Erika (Nathalie Delon) introduces her breasts as Jasmine and Cyclamen.
- Robert Anton Wilson likes this one; a character from Illuminatus! calls his Polyphemus because it has one eye, rhymes with penis and is a giant, while Wildeblood from Schrodinger's Cat calls his Ulysses because it had a tendency to invade dark, forbidden spaces.
- The female variant is seen in The Iron Dragon's Daughter. In fact, the female characters hold naming ceremonies for their vaginas. The main character's is "Little Jane". Boys have names for their bits as well, but its never mentioned if they have a similar ceremony.
- Who can forget Judy Blume's Forever? "Katherine... I'd like you to meet Ralph."
- Apparently, this was very embarrassing for teenage boys who happened to be named Ralph.
- In Lady Chatterley's Lover by D. H. Lawrence, the two protagonists (Lady Constance Chatterley and Oliver Mellors) call their private parts "Lady Jane" and "John Thomas", respectively.
- In The Frog King Evie refers to her nether regions as 'the Jiffy Lube'.
- One of the villains in Brothers, William Goldman's weird sequel to Marathon Man, calls his penis "The Envy of All Mankind," which should give you some idea of both his attitude and the book's writing.
- Older Than Print: In "The Porter and the Three Ladies of Baghdad" (one of the stories of Arabian Nights), the ladies refer to their genitals as "the basil of the bridges", "the husked sesame", and "the Khan of Abu Mansur", and so the porter calls his privates "mule Burst all", because it eats the two former items and spends the night in the latter.
- In one of the Outlander books, Brianna is accosted and raped by Stephen Bonnet, who calls his Le Roi, French for "The King".
- In American Psycho, a private investigator asks Bateman about Paul Owen (whom Bateman actually murdered). He thinks to himself: "How could I describe Paul Owen to this guy? Boasting, arrogant, cheerful dickhead who constantly weaseled his way out of checks at Nell's? That I'm heir to the unfortunate information that his penis had a name and that name was Michael?"
- In the YA series Drama!, a well-endowed female character refers to her breasts as "the girls".
- This is actually a fairly common way for a woman to refer to her breasts.
- "Still Life with Boobs" by Anne Harris: a short story about people whose body parts run away and have fun without them, including a woman's breasts named George and Gracie and a man's penis named Frank.
- Sue Limb's YA book series, starting with Girl, 15, Charming But Insane: Meet Jess Jordan, our 15-year-old heroine, and her small breasts, nicknamed Bonnie and Clyde.
- In Tipping the Velvet, Diana Lethaby calls her dildo Monsieur.
- In Doing It, by Melvin Burgess, one of the boys calls his "Mr. Knobby Knobster."
- Larry Underwood called his "Mr.Sparky" in his internal thoughts in one chapter of The Stand
- On Mock the Week, an answer to an unknown question was. 'Serious, Risky and Heroic'. One person chimes up with the question 'What do I call my cock and two balls?'. One person says that Heroic should be the cock, and somebody else questions how Risky got in there in the first place.
- J.D. from Scrubs is scared of somebody else doing this to his, after an ex called his "Little Buddy", although he and others have referred to it as on occasion as "Little J.D." He already has a name for it, "Mr. Peeps", complete with British accent. Carla and Elliot both name their vagina after an art teacher (Miss Priscilla and Mr Hoober respectively). Laverne's breasts are named Paris and Nicky.
- After the Hilton sisters? No, "Other way around, sugar."
- Joey Tribbiani calls his the Little General. He used to call it the Little Major, but he claims that "after Denise DeMarco [he] had to promote it".
- In the Brazilian comedy Sai De Baixo, which all Brazilian tropers in this site must remember, there was a character who nicknamed his manhood "Bill Clinton". It was the nineties.
- Patrick from Coupling calls his "Jr. Patrick" or "Partner".
- ...and an ex-girlfriend of his turns out to have made a vibrator model of it, meaning in the Coupling universe you can actually buy a Jr. Patrick.
- Sally from 3rd Rock from the Sun named her breasts Veronique and Cindy.
- When Barney from How I Met Your Mother has Lily paint a nude portrait of him, he complains that she left out "Little Barney, Barnacle Jr, my Barnana, my Barnito Supremo!"
- The female equivalent appears in a different episode, where a drunk girl offers everyone to name her breasts. Barney's suggestion is "Hannity and Colmes".
- One episode of Two and A Half Men featured a section where the main characters, and one Mauve Shirt, compare names for theirs.
- Gaz Wilkinson of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps names his "Mr. Nudge".
- Nathan of Sugar Rush (TV) names his "Mr. Perky" in one episode.
- On That '70s Show, Eric finds out Donna calls her breasts "The Twins".
Kelso: Hey guys, guess which part of my body I nicknamed "Pink Floyd".
- In an episode of Desperate Housewives, Tom refers to Lynette's (now bigger, thanks to her pregnancy) boobs as "The Supremes", and his genitalia as "Benny and the Jets".
- Captain Jack of Torchwood refers to his as "the captain and his two lieutenants."
- On Sex and the City, Trey and Charlotte were having problems in bed, and their therapist suggested that they name their genitals so they could talk about it. Charlotte named hers "Rebecca" and Trey named his "Schooner".
- Referenced/parodied in an episode of The Golden Girls:
Blanche: My doctor wants to put a pacemaker in me!
Sophia: Everybody's got a nickname for it!
- On Smallville, Lois Lane walks in on Clark Kent taking a shower. Clark protests, but she says she's already seen "Clark Junior" before, so what's the big deal?
- On Murphy Brown, Corky calls her breasts |Susan and Sharon. Murphy later refers to hers as Woodward and Bernstein.
- In Married... with Children, Al calls Peggy's breasts "the guys".
- One female contestant on Elimidate claimed that she'd win the man because she has "the Big Dogs". Personally, this troper was rooting for the completely batshit crazy chick.
- On Will and Grace, Karen referred to her breasts as "license" and "registration" while flashing a cop who pulled her over. Then she made them talk. It was disturbing. (And pointless, as the cop was gay and eventually ended up with Will.)
- Take a wild guess what her passport was.
- On Party of Five Julia (Neve Campbell) overhears that Sarah (Jennifer Love Hewitt) named her breast. Later Julia tells Sarah that she has spilled ice cream on Thelma, "or is that one Louise"
- Inverted in Community , when Troy names his pet monkey "Annie's Boobs".
- In Green Wing, Alan calls Joanna's vagina "the growler".
- On Skins, Tony (and then Sid) refers to Sid's cock as Mr. Happy.
- Bobby from Cougar Town call his penis "Little Travis". Which, not incidentally, is also his son's name.
Bobby: I call all my favorite things Travis.
Travis: That's... oddly flattering.
- Danny on Las Vegas refers to Delinda's breasts as "the Twins". It's unclear if it's him or her that gave them that name.
- On The Drew Carey Show, Oswald nicknamed his genitals "the Olsen twins".
- On the Valentine's Day episode of New Girl, Jess is determined to have a one-night stand. She tells Cece "Tonight's all about what Little Jess wants."
- Schmidt, meanwhile, refers to his organ as "Hector J".
- After hearing Anthony Weiner make the claim that he "could not say with certitude" whether or not the person in the infamous pictures was him, Jon Stewart joked that "Certitude" might just be a nickname.
- In the VH1 Roast to Pamela Anderson, she finish her segment (and the show) by thanking her two best friends in the business: Poncho and Lefty.
- A capella group The Bobs have a song entitled "She Made Me Name You Earl," which is two minutes and fifty-eight seconds of nothing but this trope.
- Weird Al has a song titled "Headline News" where he recounts the tale of a man who made his wife very angry, and woke up the next morning to find that "Mister Happy was missing."
- It's the verse about the Lorena Bobbitt story. "He couldn't quite believe it/ It had always just been there..."
- A Tom Green song "Pet Names For Genitalia" (here) lists many examples of this trope to the tune of "We Didn't Start The Fire".
- Adam Sandler has a recurring skit on his "Stan & Judy's Kid" album about a guy whose names for his penis always turn women off in the heat of the moment. Among those names are "tallywacker," "jimma-jamma" and "pud"
- The XTC song "Pink Thing" about a guy who is obsessed with something he calls "Pink Thing"
Anytime you rise, I'm here,
And I'm crazy for you pink thing.
You make me want to laugh,
You make me want to cry,
When I stroke your head I feel a hundred heartbeats high,
- In The Bloodhound Gang's song "Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo," many different slang terms for both gender's genitalia are thrown around. The entire song is dedicated to euphemisms for sex.
- Prince recorded a song called Little Red Corvette. It's been said this is a reference to... a certain female part.
- On the Martin Molloy radio show, the character Haughty Mick referred to his penis as 'Yul Brynner'.
- Female example: On The John Boy And Billy Big Show, the guys started referring to Assistant Producer Jackie Curry-Lynch's breasts as "the twins" after she got implants.
- On The Now Show John Holmes admitted that his wife calls his 'Little Johnathan'.
- A bar-girl in the enhanced GBA port of Final Fantasy VI calls her "twins" Humpty and Dumpty.
- Some corners of the Ace Attorney fandom give Mia Fey's Gag Boobs the Fan Nickname "The Fey Twins" or "Busty Glory".
- In Silent Hill: Shattered Memories, Dahlia claims that Harry nicknamed her breasts "Sid and Nancy".
- Rance calls his... the "Hyper Weapon". He sings about it in an occasion.
- It took until his fifth game to learn what Leisure Suit Larry calls his equipment, but it was worth waiting for: Bucephalus.
- In the 36 Lessons of Vivec, in The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind, Vivec's "spear" is named Muatra. he uses it to kill his own monster children and have sex with Almalexia.
- In Order of the Stick, Roy calls his The Trouser Titan. Everyone is amused to find this out.
- Steve from Questionable Content, as shown above, calls his Steve Ray Vaughn.
- Faye, meanwhile, calls her left boob, which is a bit saggier than the right, the Underachiever.
- In the webcomic Don't Forget to Validate Your Parking, Mike's agent suggests that he become a stripper, using the name format something demonic - penis name. In case you're wondering, Mike's is "Left Eye Lou" (after CNN pundit Lou Dobbs) and his agent's is "The Summer Tentpole".
- David Walkerton calls his "Li'l Walky".
- In Queen of Wands, it's mentioned that Felix's Penis is named Mr. Winky... after he asked his wife Shannon why she called all the zombies she was shooting in a game after it.
- Roast Beef calls his Dracula.
- Ray: "Can I still call my junk my 'rad chilies'?"
- Ellen has been known to refer to her chest as "the Wonder Twins".
- In Ansem Retort, Zexion named his penis "The Torrent". Axel named his Jack the Ripper. He also named his testicles Slashy and Stabby.
- Gabe's penis has many names.
- Robin DeSanto in Shortpacked refers to her breasts as 'Team Robin'.
- Right after Shane's Crowning Moment of Awesome (convincing a bunch of aliens that the squishy things on one of the "boys"' chests were bags of nitroglycerin, thereby getting the aliens to release them for fear of being suicide-bombed), Alex (the girl in question) says, "Hey, give a little credit to Thelma and Louise here!" as the others are congratulating Shane.
- It was a running joke for awhile in Sluggy Freelance that Gwynn's repeated references to her "monkeys" were actually references to her breasts (they weren't).
- "Loofah" was also a reference to part of Gwynn's anatomy. Except not.
- Behold... The Singularity!
- Skin Horse: One of Tip's many conquests gave his penis the nickname "The Light of Culture and Reason".
- A woman from Channel Ate named her dildo Stan. Does that count?
- Hijinks Ensue: Josh just doesn't have one name. He has many names for his junk.
- In Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Captain Hammer calls his penis "The Hammer". If you had that surname, you probably would too.
- Surely if you were a captain, you could promote it to Private Hammer.
- Private? It should at least be a Staff Sergeant.
- That's a very fitting rank.
- In the Web Original The Guild, Zaboo calls his Mister Fuzzy.
- Don't forget "Mr. Wiggly" in Season Three.
- In episode 15 of Naruto the Abridged Series, the Hokage comments, "Now, theme songs, those are something that can get 'Little Hokage' up in the morning."
- I'd show her Space Mountain. (Beat) Space Mountain is my penis.
- A Very Potter Sequel gives us Big D ( Dumbledore) and Little D ( Draco)
- "Geek Therapy" has an episode where a non-geek-guy goes to a therapist because he can't talk to geek girls. Why? Because when one asked "Do you have a gun named Vera" he assumed she was talking about this trope.
Therapist: She wasn't.
- Subverted in The Simpsons, when Springfield Elementary becomes sex-segregated, Bart proclaims happily that he can now walk around with "Bart Junior" hanging out...and then whips out Bart Junior, who turns out to be a frog. A frog who immediately croaks, in subtitles: "I thought he was talking about his penis".
- Selma refers to her breasts as her "boys".
- Bender on Futurama calls his antenna "Little Bender", implying that it's the robot equivalent of a penis in terms of pride, if not function (this is confirmed when he's turned human, or at least, it is in that What If scenario).
- When he's turned into a FemBot, it's snipped off, suggesting that it really is pretty much a penis.
- That broadcasts radio.
- (snide remark)
- Seems perfectly reasonable that a male robot sends his genetic information wirelessly to the female robot. Then she melds it with her own and transmits blueprints back to Mom's factory? (Unless she's equipped to build a baby herself - the Crushinator might be...)
- (snide remark)
- That broadcasts radio.
- Further reinforced by when the black-sounding voiced robot police officer helps Bender look for it after he cuts it off. When he finds it, the police officer says: "You call that an antenna?"
- Leela calls her breasts her "girls".
- When he's turned into a FemBot, it's snipped off, suggesting that it really is pretty much a penis.
- In Spliced!, Entree has named all of the teats on his udder. The one that gives addictive milk is called "Nugget".
- From "A Very Venture Christmas":
Hank: (looking at a Nativity scene) Whoops! Baby Jesus is out of the manger!
Brock: Wha? (looks down at his fly)