Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy/Quotes
My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
—Evil Overlord List, Item no. 56
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And now we partake in the best part of any Arnold movie, when everyone in the entire world tries to hit this guy, and not one friggin' bullet touches him. STOP SHOOTING AT THE GROUND, YA MORONS!!!
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When has an action hero ever, even once, been killed by machinegun fire, no matter how many hundreds of rounds? The hit men should simply reject them and say, "No can do, Boss. They never work in this kind of movie." |
Mike: You know, they shouldn't have set their phasers to "miss". —Mystery Science Theater 3000 , riffing on Space Mutiny
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Brigadier: No casualties? —Doctor Who, The Invasion
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I don't know what all the fuss is about. Vogons are the worst marksmen in the galaxy.
—Marvin, The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy
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Beast Man uses one of Grayskull's high tech kill-you guns to blast at the fleeing He-Man, altogether forgetting the cardinal rule of cartoon villains: they've got the worst aim in the universe.
—X-Entertainment's article on a He-Man and the Masters of the Universe coloring book
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I don't even really have to dodge. He just kind of misses.
—Aang, Avatar The Abridged Series
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The great thing about Jeremy's shooting is that you are perfectly safe just as long as you stand right in front of the target.
—James May on Jeremy Clarkson's aim, Top Gear
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Stormtrooper 1: Have we ever hit anyone with these guns? —Family Guy: Something Something Something Dark Side
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I don't know, I just feel like we all have really great aim until the second we put on these helmets...
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The bad guys are always lousy shots in the movies. Three villains with Uzis will go after the hero, spraying thousands of rounds which miss him, after which he picks them off with a handgun.
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A fierce battle follows, during which about 1 in 10 shots fired actually hits something.
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Lister: Why don't we meet anyone nice? —Red Dwarf, Quarantine
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You missed! How could you miss?! He was three feet infront of you!
—Mushu, Mulan who didn't miss - she just wasn't aiming at what Mushu thought she was aiming for.
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Lucky Luke: [A shot misses him and hits a cow] It's a shame to be such a lousy shot. —Lucky Luke, The Rivals of Painful Gulch
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Seeing the film the first time, I was swept away, and have remained swept ever since. Seeing this restored version, I tried to be more objective and noted that the gun battles on board the spaceships go on a bit too long; it is remarkable that the Empire marksmen never hit anyone important.
—Ebert, again, reviewing the Special Edition of A New Hope.
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Look son, being a good shot, being quick with a pistol, that don't do no harm, but it don't mean much next to being cool-headed. A man who will keep his head and not get rattled under fire, like as not, he'll kill ya. It ain't so easy to shoot a man anyhow, especially if the son-of-a-bitch is shootin' back at you.
—Little Bill Daggett, Unforgiven
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C-3PO: Oh no! Chewie, they're behind you! |