This exchange between the landlady and Zuri in "The Talented Mr. Kipling":
Landlady: You people have a vicious, cold-blooded reptile living in this building?. Zuri: Why not? You live here.
Same episode:
Jessie: All my boyfriends have to be at least 18. *looks at Mr. Kipling* And human. Emma: So Luke, you're 0 for 2.
When Ravi gets a mystical eyeball app on his computer:
Ravi: Bertram, we have terrible news! Bertram: Your parents are having another kid? Ravi: No. You are going to get hurt doing the splits, choke on stuffing, and then get carried away by a dark, shadowy figure at 6:22 tomorrow! Bertram: You figured all that out by asking yes or no questions? Zuri: We asked a lot of questions. Bertram: Well, I have a prediction. An incredibly handsome man will tap-dance out of the kitchen! *tap dances out of kitchen and does a tongue expression*
Emma: People are staring. And in New York, that's saying something.
When Jessie is making a film for her friend Darla:
Mrs. Chesterfield: Marla! Your friend is a terrible nanny! She couldn't take care of a bowl of sea monkeys. Jessie: Hey! I'll have you know that all of my sea monkeys died of natural causes! (Beat) ...And a thirsty cat.
From "Used Karma" cue Zuri escorting Luke into the screening room.
Zuri: The Great Ravi will see you now. Ravi: Luke. I have been expecting you. Luke: What is all this? Ravi: You have just entered my lair. Luke: Dude, it's the screening room. Ravi: True, but it doubles as my lair. Luke: Okay, isn't a lair usually underground- Ravi:I TELL YOU, IT IS A LAIR! Zuri: (whispers to Luke) Just go with it. Luke: Not the point. I need your help with my bad karma. Ravi: I will help you, but first... admit to me this is a lair.
