Kleptomaniac Hero/Quotes

"If adventure games were a medical condition, the first symptom would be amnesia and the second would be kleptomania."

—Yahtzee, Zero Punctuation

"Hey, look, I'm the hero here. Will you quit accusing me of stealing things?"

—Link, Legend of Zelda the Abridged Series

"What do I want? I don't really know. Most of the time I ignore my quest and walk into the homes of others, riffling through people's shelves..."

—The Chosen One, Fallout 2

Tidus: You're just gonna take that?

Firion: What? It's free!

—Dissidia Final Fantasy, on random treasure chests.

GG: Yeah. Remember what Mr. Kuja [said] about the high security on the lower levels? He wasn't kidding. Bears, land octopi, tigers... a whole lot of guardian creatures are living down there.

Asagi: Woah, seriously? You went exploring...huh. You find any nice loot in the lower levels?

GG: Yeah, but I left it there. I mean, how much of a douchebag would I be if I stole from the guy giving me a place to not-sleep?

—We Are Our Avatars, after GG Explored the Desert Palace.

Billy: Could you guys please stop going through my house?

Bart: But...we're RPG characters!

—Xenogears: A Rope of Robots, a Let's Play of Xenogears

Obi-Wan: So, we're just sitting in a room, waiting for these Trade Federation dudes to talk to us?
GM: Right.
Qui-Gon: We search the room.
GM: What?
Qui-Gon: We search the room. Anything valuable?
GM: It's a waiting room! You're ambassadors!
Qui-Gon: Well what do you want us to do? There's not even anyone to talk to except a butler robot.
GM: "Protocol droid". And what about some in-character conversation?

Qui-Gon: "Say Obi-Wan, how about we search the room?"

—Darths and Droids

It's not "Stealing". It's "Adding to my Inventory."

—Ben, Ben There, Dan That!

Garrett's Principle: Let's not mince words: you're a thief. You can walk into just about anybody's house like the door wasn't even locked. You just barge right in and start looking for stuff. Anything you can find that's not nailed down (or on fire) is yours to keep. You will often walk into perfect strangers' houses, lift their precious artifacts, and then chat with them like you were old neighbors as you head back out with their family heirlooms under your arm. Unfortunately, this never works in stores.

—The Grand List of Console Role Playing Game Cliches

Kaidan: "You'll be fine, Garrus. If you're ever in doubt, just ask yourself 'What Would Shepard Do?'"

Garrus: "Oh that's easy, search every nook and cranny, open everything that isn't locked down and hack open anything that is. Even in the middle of a battle."

—Mass Effect: Accidental Hero of the Galaxy

Shepard: Aha!
Kasumi: Found a sample?

Shepard: No, a credit chit.

—Mass Effect 2, during Kasumi's mission.

"I didn't know Immortality came with a license to steal, but whatever."

—Leucos, Glory of Heracles (Nintendo DS)