Kung Pow! Enter the Fist/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


I mean, crap, man! Look at that! That's, like, his stomach plug, on the ground back there. You don't see that every day. I mean that doesn't really even seem possible, if you think about it. With body organs, and cartilage and bones. I mean, I'm no doctor, but, it was like, one clean chunk!

  • Don't forget this gem:

"At that moment, the Chosen One learned a valuable lesson about Iron Claws: THEY HURT LIKE CRAP, MAN!"

    • He really should have listened to that one-boobed chick.
  • The ventriloquists.

"We are both ventriloquists and now we're upside down!"
"I swing a bit more!"
"I swing a bit less!"
"But we both swing if you know what we mean..."

  • Gopher Chucks!
  • Ling trying to heal the Chosen One's hands after they're injured in training.

Ling: "Is it better now?"
Chosen One: "... You just broke a thermometer over my hands."

    • Improbable as it may seem, This Troper prefers the "What they were Actually Saying" alternate Audio track, as it turns it into a straightforward(untranslated) kung fu movie with some guy walking around saying things that don't make sense even in English.(With Exceptions)

'''''''Chosen One''''''': You are the Pie Man. Your pies are known for miles around.

  • You will now refer to me by the name, Betty!
  • One of this troper's favorite moments was this scene:

Master Tang: He told me that there would be a Chosen One.
(dreamy flashback)
Ling's Father: There will be a chosen one. [/flashback]
Master Tang: Then he told me of its significance...
(dreamy flashback)
Ling's Father: It will be significant.[/flashback]

  • "I'm a man too, you know. I go peepee standing up!"
  • YOUR CLOTHES ARE BLACK!
  • "Just because someone rolls over and goes ugh doesn't mean they're dead."
  • The scene where Master Pain Betty shows off his secret skill -- the ability to resist Groin Attacks. Then the Chosen One's failure to replicate ability.
  • The "I'm Coming!" scene. Very well edited.
  • ...And why are you in bed?"
  • "Yes, yes. Play me like a drum"
  • "Hey, guys. What's goin' on?" (gets punched)
  • "Shirt ripper!"
  • "THAT'S A LOT OF NUTS."
  • The chosen one's entire fight with Moon Yuu, the cow.
  • "Leap that wall, if you're so great!"
  • The Chosen One's sissy meltdown when he can't figure out how to pull off Betty's caps (and the narration that accompanies it.)
  • ONE! OF US! IS WEARING! A PUSH-UP BRA!
  • "Towel!"
  • Chosen One letting himself get beat up with sticks.
  • "I'm sure on some planet your style is impressive, but your weak link is: this is Earth."
  • "Ohhh...chicken go 'cluck, cluck,' cow go 'moo!' Piggy go 'oink oink,' how about you? Gonna be an animal just like you...lemur go *hiss hiss*, ostrich go, 'Peh!' Koala go *click click click click*..."
  • "At least cover your mouth! We're all going to catch it!"
    • Well, pretty much every word out of Betty's mouth.