Large Ham/Real Life

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


HI, BILLY MAYS HERE!
"Not only are we going to New Hampshire ... we're going to South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico, and we're going to California and Texas and New York! And we're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan. And then we're going to Washington, D.C. to take back the White House, yeeeeeaaaaaargh!"
—Howard Dean

Feel free to sort this by politics, sports and others.

  • Quoted above: Presidential candidate Howard Dean, whose enthusiastic, red-faced shouting led to public embarrassment.
  • The late Billy Mays, known for his energetic, loud performance in his commercials, provides the page image.
  • Steve Irwin, who was hammy even to the faces of snakes and crocodiles. May he rest in peace.
  • Fitness guru Richard Simmons plays this to the hilt on numerous talk shows, and gives every appearance of behaving like that all the time. Among fans of the comedy/improv show Whose Line Is It Anyway?, his guest appearance is particularly... infamous.
  • Hamminess in fitness gurus is contagious. Take Tony Little, for example.
  • Before Tony Little, there was Susan "Stop The Insanity!" Powter.
  • Hitler, a master of Milking the Giant Cow, who actually had someone teach him how to ham it up for the public.
  • George Patton
    • (From the Film section): "Interestingly enough, George Patton's daughters said that Scott nailed Patton's personality so perfectly, they felt like they were actually watching their father on the movie screen. The movie actually DOWNPLAYS some of the more crude and vulgar catchphrases that he was famous for.
  • General Douglas MacArthur of World War II. "PEOPLE OF THE PHILIPPINES, I HAVE RETURNED!"[1]
    • The Marines who are several divisions worth of ham themselves, replied to that with,"With the help of God and a few marines, Macarthur took back the Philippines."
    • Dwight D. Eisenhower served as MacArthur's aide de camp during Mac's term as Army Chief of Staff, and then followed MacArthur to the Philippines in their next assignment. Later in his career, when asked if he knew MacArthur, Eisenhower replied, "I ought to. I studied dramatics under him for six years!"
    • A brigadier general at the Battle of the Bulge famously responded to a request to surrender from the Germans by saying "NUTS!" Large ham indeed.
  • Benito Mussolini was also fond of his own bombastic voice and gestures. "The bullets pass - Mussolini remains!"
    • Allegedly, he was hammy even when facing certain death. "SHOOT ME IN THE CHEST!"
  • Anna Nicole Smith. "DOOO YOUU LIIIIIKE MY BOOODYYYYYYY?!"
  • Fidel Castro, notorious for his bombastic, hours-long (!) speeches.
    • "Judge me if you will, I don't care. HISTORY WILL ABSOLVE ME! "
      • Since he said that at his trial by the Batista Regime, which he beat, he might have a point.
  • Hugo Chávez, who absolutely must be the centre of attention at all times. At least until he got shut down by the King of Spain in a manner most awesome.
  • Don King. Even his hair overacts.
  • Janice Dickinson, the self-proclaimed "world's first supermodel."
  • Any Dungeon Master/Game Master worth their salt is this.
  • Chilean ex-President Ricardo Lagos. Specially if he whips out his index finger.
  • Another REALLY Large Ham coming from Chile: sport reporter and narrator Fernando Solabarrieta, who is known to cry and scream when he's hyperventilated. You want to see it? Check this.
  • Pedro Carcuro is another Chilean ham; he may be a bit low-key when compared to Solabarrieta, but still hammy for at least 30 years. Hilariously spoofed in an old TV ad that features his screams as background noise for several planes and car crashes.
  • Since soccer in Latin-America is very Serious Business, every single soccer commentator (whether on the TV or on radio) is required to be VERY hammy. Otherwise they'd never be able to reach the levels of flailing and screaming they get when a specially important and/or well-done goal is scored.
    • GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO[snip]OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!
    • The press boxes of the stadiums in the 2006 World Cup were open onto the field, which occasionally meant that the sound from one set of broadcasters was audible in the next box over. The ESPN box was right next to that of a Spanish network during one of Spain's matches. When Spain scored a goal, viewers in the US watching ESPN could hear the Spanish announcers in the next box going absolutely bananas...for the next five minutes!
      • Just so you guys know, this is the standard.
    • Sportscaster Galvão Bueno is the unquestioned Ham Emperor of Brazilian TV. The Ham is cranked up to eleven when a Brazilian wins a Formula One Race. Or when Brazil wins a World Cup.
    • Dutch commentator Jack van Gelder has earned a bit of a reputation for his uncontrolled emotions when Oranje scores. Most notable example is this. Of course the Dutch have also subverted this wonderfully in this commercial.
  • Bosnian commentator Marijan Miajlovic.
  • Arabian commentators have a similar reputation, take a look at this one.
  • Diego Maradona seems to be Ham King among the players, and now, also coaches.
  • Not that American sports commentators are any more subdued. John Madden, anyone?
    • Especially if Madden is talking about 'his Favrerite' player, Bret Favre. You know Madden has one of those creepy shrines in his basement.
  • Another American sports commentator example is Paul Allen, radio play-by-play announcer for the Minnesota Vikings. His bellowing of "TOUCHDOWN!" at least once a game rivals many soccer commentators, and this applies whether the touchdown is by the Vikings or against them.
  • The UK also have their own hammy sports commentator with Jonathan Pearce.

COME ON, ENGLAND! COME, ON ENGLAND! CORNER KICK! CORNER KICK!
HE'S DONE IT! THE BOOGIE WOOGIE DOOGIE SELHURST BOY!

  • For baseball, you have Hawk Harrelson of the White Sox, Mike Shannon of the Cardinals, and Harry Caray of the Cubs.
  • Youtube Partner Hellsing920 is like this on occasions. THIS IS CALLED A LONGBOX!
  • Youtuber No More Marbles, who is borderline infamous amongst Twilight fans (and a few anti-fans) for having developed a bizarrely, gleefully goofy, over-the-top (and admittedly borderline creepy) on-camera persona. Samples: A parody in response to fans' badmouthing the casting of Robert Pattinson in the movie version of Twilight, Getting threated by Eminem, "NO! Anything but the Volvo!!!".
  • Nikita "WE WILL BURY YOU!" Khrushchev. Extra points for walloping the table with his shoe.
  • Lenin was like this in most of his speeches: "COMRADES! The REVOLUTION, the importance of which was spoken about for such a long time by BOLSHEVIKS... HAS HAPPENED"
  • Trotsky was somewhat of a ham too.
    • In one of history's greatest missed opportunities, the combined 70-year leadership of the USSR doesn't reach the level of ham supplied by Boris Yeltsin by himself. If ordering the army to fire live ammunition at your country's parliament because you're facing impeachment, dancing like you're inebriated in front of millions of your countrymen, or generally being inebriated aren't hammy, nothing is.
  • Perhaps underestimated for his hamminess is Soviet astronaut Alexei Leonov. During a press conference in the US while training for the Apollo-Soyuz Test Project, he stated his wish to become a movie star in Hollywood. During the mission, he said, in addition to English and Russian, a third language was spoken on the mission: "Oklahomski", referring to his American counterpart, Tom Stafford.
  • Meat Loaf. Look at any of his music videos, or anything of him on Youtube... he really should be named for THIS meat.
  • Tony Robbins.
  • Don Cherry, of Coach's Corner infamy in Canada. Also, his suits. And intro music. And his hats. Oh dear sweet lord, his hats [dead link]
  • Michael Buffer was famous for this. But his ham is nothing compared to Lenne Hardt.
    • Impressive, but in his favour, Buffer had his ham trademarked. "LLLLLLLLLLLLLLet's get ready to RRRRRRRRUUUUMMMMMMMMBBBBBLLLLLLLLEEEEEE!"
  • Boris "Bojo" Johnson
  • Many real-life pirates were known for this, in particular Blackbeard (who was genuinely attempting to scare people so he could rule by fear) and Bartholomew Roberts, who wore a giant diamond-encrusted cross on a necklace. Yes, Black Bart Roberts had bling.
  • HI, I'M BARRY SCOTT! AND THIS IS CILLIT BANG! AND I'M BEING PAID BY THE DECIBEL!
  • There are a couple of professional poker players who deserve mention here, including but not limited to...
  • For better or for worse, President Barack Obama. YES WE CAN!
  • John Barrowman.
  • Cleveland sports tv and radio personality Bruce Drennan, with his trademark "IIIIIIII lovvvve ya Cleveland!"
  • From the world of bodybuilding, Ronnie Coleman, the most pumped-up ham since Ahnuld, as well as the closest thing to a Real Life Smug Super. Watching him lift insane amounts of weight on youtube straddles the line between HSQ and Narm, but it is always undeniably ham.

YEAH BUDDDAAYYY! LIGHT WEIGHT!!!

  • Some Brazilian preachers are prone to this (borderline/hilarious example).
  • The deceased Pope John Paul II had also his share of hamminess as well, specially in his first decade of pontificate (when his health still was more or less good). I.e., his visit to the still-under-dictatorship Chile had him reuniting a crowd of 90.000 in the Estadio Nacional for a speech, and the most recalled phrase he said there was a simply bombastic "No tengáis miedo... DE MIRARLO A ÉL!" (roughly translated as "Do not be afraid... OF STARING AT HIM!") (Him being God, obviously).
  • Judge Ana Mari­a Polo from "Caso Cerrado":

CASO CERRADO! [whack!]

  • The Lakota (Sioux) language has special constructions for rhetoric (in other words, it marks hamminess in its grammar the way Japanese marks politeness) -- and men's speech is marked by using them. Apparently, the Sioux believed Real Men Chew Scenery.
  • This anti-gay marriage ad is made of GOD'S HAM. Even if you don't agree with the ad, it's entertaining to watch.
  • Film and Theatre version: Ken Page. He took over the role of Old Deuteronomy from Brian Blessed, and voiced the villainous ham Oogie Boogie. Even when put on the spot, he doesn't fail to shine ham it up.
  • Jean-Beel Bokassa, who crowned himself as Emperor of Central Africa, and spent 20 million just for his coronation.
  • Roberto Benigni, who ran down the chairs - not the aisle between the chairs, but the actual armrests of the chairs - when he won his Oscar. He then proceeded to announce he wanted to make love to everyone in the room. And then there was his appearance on Conan O'Brien's talk show in which the most calm thing he said was "THANK YOU, CONAN O'BRIEN!"
  • Richard Quest. He has quite possibly the most outrageously British voice of all time.
  • The German commentator during the final game of the soccer world cup 1954. even more than fifty years later, this is the stuff of legends!
  • Linus Torvalds, introducing himself at the 1998 Linux Expo, Durham, NC: "My name is Linus Torvalds, and I am your God."
  • Gene Shalit. Just watch his review of The Mummy 3.
  • State-run TV news anchors can be very hammy in their support for their autocrats. Take this AK-47 toting Libyan news anchor for example.
  • Peter Travers for the Rolling Stone makes hammy video reviews. See for yourself...
  • Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer.
  • Some people with Asperger's are this, Those who are like that tend exaggerate nearly all of their emotions and reactions. Some others with Asperger's are the opposite, and never have very strong reactions to 95% of things.
    • And some have a love affair with sarcasm.
  • Sarmatism was a cultural movement popular in XVII-XVIII Century Poland and Lithuania. In theory, it was meant to emulate the customs of ancient Sarmatians, but in practice, it was like an exercise in creating a World of Ham. Heavy cavalry? Have them wear leopard skins and giant metal wings. A speech? Infuse it with so much Gratuitous Latin there's hardly any Polish left, and don't forget to cry. Political protest? Fall to the ground, block the door with your body, rip your shirt and shout you'll let no one pass. Funeral? Doesn't count if there's no fully-armed Hussar riding into the church in full gallop and breaking his lance against the coffin stand, and ritual demolition of the dead man's insignia of office.
  • A fairly mild case, but John Kricfalusi's speech mannerisms tend to be very uneven. He's mumbling one word and he's literally shouting the next one. Especially obvious on the commentaries on Ren and Stimpy Adult Party Cartoon episodes.
  • Toronto Maple Leafs play-by-play commentator Joe Bowen qualifies, as does Buffalo Sabres play-by-play man Rick Jeanneret are both known for their complete absence of subtlety.
    • Hockey announcers approach Latin American football announcers in hamminess, especially when the play gets close to or results in a goal. Vancouver Canucks play-by-play man John Shorthouse is well-known for his trademark "GREAT SAVE, LUONGO!!!"
  • Internet sensation Phil Davison falls somewhere between this and Sanity Slippage.
  • Toddlers. Ever told your kid he couldn't have a cookie because it's too close to supper? Theatrical meltdowns may ensue.
  • William Shatner
  • Christopher Walken
  • Longtime ABC White House correspondent Sam Donaldson is a self-admitted example, stating at one point, "A lot of people say there's a lot of ham in me."
  • Scientist Richard Feynman has been described as "All ham, no baloney".
  • David Copperfield. His shows are about 10% magic and 90% ham, as he often hilariously lampshades, deconstructs and spoofs his own tricks.
  • Try a predominantly black Baptist Church. The preacher, the choir, the congregation take God to a new level of Ham
    • Or any Pentecostal/Charismatic church, regardless of race.
    • It's safe to say that pretty much EVERY religion will have at least one faction of Large Hams within its congregation. Even religions whose lifestyle centers around being the total opposite of one.
  • The voiceovers in between songs on the Grupera music radio stations, as the La Mejor chain of stations can attest.
  • Colonel Mu'ammar Muhammad Abu Minyar al Gaddafi, Brother Leader and Guide to the Revolution.
  • Gilbert Gottfried to the point that a recording of his normal voice when calling to schedule for Howard Stern is the stuff of legend.
  • Vic Mignogna. Plenty of his voice-acting roles are non-hammy, but his real-life persona is pretty much all ham, all the time.
  • Conductor Arturo Toscanini would often throw highly theatrical tantrums during rehearsals. He would shout. He would rage. He would snap his baton in half (they're cheap). He would tear off his wristwatch and stamp on it (it was always a two dollar watch, never one of his expensive ones). He would snatch the score from his music stand and tear it up (again, not hard to replace). One time, having snatched up his score, he remembered just in time that it was a new piece, that the publisher was in Europe, and that he was holding the only copy of the score in North America. Not wanting to wait for days or weeks while a new copy was brought in (or resort to sticky tape) he hurled it to the floor, stormed off, and got a flunky to pick it up and straighten all the pages.
  • Many conductors do this with their face - a calm-looking conductor will walk out, but once his/her back is to the orchestra, ridiculous facial expressions ensue.
  • The reason that people who act as if they are on a theatre stage come off as, well, overly theatrical, is due to the limits of acting at a distance from the audience far greater than most camera angles. You can't have a close up of a facial expression or fingers tapping to portray tension, only grand motions of the hand, body, and voice will convey the plot to the audience on the theatre stage. Thus, while clamping a hand over your heart and raising your fist to the heavens while booming out the plans for your revenge may come off as a bit much in a television or film production, its what is needed to convey the emotions of the scene on a live stage. Actors mention the difficulty of transitioning from the stage to the screen in this manner, so dropping a renowned theatre actor in as guest star on your television sitcom will have hilariously over the top results. Its not always ego.
    • The fact that so many of the actors from the silent movie era had a background in theatre (and the popularity of melodrama), along with the incredible amounts of makeup they had to wear to look properly on film at the time, led to the way early films looked and were made.
  • Mirriam Defensor Santiago of the Republic of the Philippines performed so hammily in the Impeachment of Chief Justice Corona. Not only did she give the prosecution team a painful scolding but also chewed the scenery to dust. Check these out
  • Sharon Stone. Modesty was never her strong suit.
  • Arabic is famed for it's love of poetry and it's flowery language and Western imitators make the most of it. You might almost say it is a culture of ham.
    • Though entertaining in a coffeehouse storyteller, it can cause harm in politics. Sometimes a Westerner cannot tell from hearing a speech whether an Arab politician is declaring war or just giving his constituents some entertainment. This problem is of course not unknown in Western politicians but some aspects of Arab language and mannerisms make for Culture Clash.
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  1. ↑ A Call Back to when he was forced to evacuate from the Philippines in 1942, when he announced: "I shall return!"
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