Literal Genie/Quotes

"Always be specific. Just in case the Wish Genie is a total dick."

—Hyperbole and a Half

Agatha Heterodyne: I'm going to have to think twice about everything I say to you, aren't I?

Castle Heterodyne: It'll be fun!

—Girl Genius

"I am the genie of the lamp. I provide you three wishes, all of which contain horrible, ironic consequences! Muwahaha!"

LutherBifteck: I bet if I wished I was a shapeshifter
LutherBifteck: The genie would give me the power to change triangles into squares

LutherBifteck: And I would be annoyed.

—bash.org

"Despair for the conceited... that is what you wished for."

—Truth as he punishes Father, Fullmetal Alchemist manga

Truth: I'm the Truth of your despair, the inescapable price of your boastfulness.
Father: (flashback) Humans who would dare to play God must pay a steep price for their arrogance. That is Truth.

Truth: And now I will bestow upon you the despair you deserve.

—The punishment of Father, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

Never trust a Djinni. Either through mischief, malice or misunderstanding they almost always grant a wish using it's most literal interpretation.

—Doctor Spooky, Magellan

Amadeus Cho: Okay, then. Wishes 101. Whatever you ask for comes back to you in the most jacked up way imaginable. You ask for your dead son back? He shows up as a walking corpse.

A-Bomb: And eats your brain.

Amadeus: There ya go. It's the God's way of punishing us for trying to get something for nothing.

Monica Rappaccini: Does he always talks this much?

Bruce Banner: Yeah.

Amadeus: Right! So you'd say "I wish he'd shut up." and then you end up deaf.

She Hulk: So you'd say "I wish that, without causing negative repercusions on the health and well-being of any person, Amadeus Cho would stop talking for the next ten minutes.".

Amadeus: Huh. Okay, yeah, that's pretty good!

She Hulk: Three years of law school finally pay off.

—The Incredible Hulks #630