Logic Bomb/Quotes

Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim...is actually my friend. ...But. Because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy, so actually Jim is my enemy... But.

—Dwight, The Office

Lone Wanderer: You aren't programmed for self-awareness, you said so yourself.

President Eden: This is quite true. The process was certainly unintended. But shouldn't we all be thankful that I'm here now?

Lone Wanderer: But how do you know what you're doing is right?

President Eden: Because unlike humans, I am infallible.

Lone Wanderer: And how do you know you're infallible?

President Eden: Because I've been programmed to be, of course!

Lone Wanderer: That's circular logic. You know because you know? It makes no sense.

President Eden: Processing... Internal logic error detected.

Lone Wanderer: I think you're delusional. I think the world would be better off without you.

President Eden: Resetting primary memory circuits. Please stand by... Perhaps... Perhaps there is a problem. I am... I am unsure how to proceed.

Lone Wanderer: I think it's time you put an end to this, once and for all.

President Eden: Analyzing command... New course of action dictated. Self-destruct sequence initialized.

—Fallout 3

GLaDOS: THIS! SENTENCE! IS! FALSE! Don't think about it, don't think about it, don'tthinkaboutit...
Wheatley: Um, true. I'm going to say true.

GLaDOS: It's a PARADOX! There IS NO ANSWER!

—Portal 2

The following statement is true. The preceding statement was false.

—George Carlin

I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.

—Tony Montana, Scarface

The setting of an Alternate History is often described as a What If. Popular alternate history settings include . . . "What if this piece of alternate history was never written?"

—This Very Wiki, Alternate History

She picks up a syringe to give him a local anesthetic, but he quickly turns it down, leading to this incredible, amazing, senses-shattering exchange.
Dr. Clay: Do you enjoy pain?
Dalton: Pain don't hurt.

Let's contemplate this for a moment, shall we? Pain, by its very definition, is something that hurts. So if pain don't hurt, wouldn't it cease to be called 'pain'? And what would you call the stuff that actually does hurt? It's amazing, really. With just three simple, one-syllable words, Dalton has created a koan even more profound than that stuff about one hand clapping.

—The Agony Booth's recap of Road House