Lolicon/Quotes

I, I, I love little girls
They make me feel so good
I love, little girls
They make me feel so bad
When they're around they make me feel
Like I'm the only guy in town
I love, little girls
They make me feel so good

—Oingo Boingo, "Little Girls"

Good morning little schoolgirl, can I come home with you?
Tell your mama and your papa I'm a little schoolboy too
Come on now pretty baby I just can't help myself
You're so young and pretty I don't need nobody else

—Sonny Boy Williamson I, "Good Morning Little School Girl"

There was a little girl
Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good
And when she was bad, she was very, very popular.

—Max Miller, The Max Miller Blue Book

O pretty child,
your little heart will tremble before many men...
Your grandmother thinks
she is raising you among the lilies
as a sensible girl, but you have slipped down
to the flood-fields of hyacinth
where Kypris has unharnessed
her horses, and hitched them on a rope.
And you have burst, little foal, into the middle
of summer, exciting the hearts
of many idle poets,
Herotima, whom all men would ride.

—Anacreon (570 BC-488 BC)

"Republicans understand the importance of the bondage between parent and child."

—Dan Quayle

"In other news, children are getting sexier... and that's pretty cooooool."

—Tom Tucker, Family Guy

Aide: Niiiiiice.
Professor Oak: She's TEN you sick fuck!

—VG Cats, Super Effective #30

Ragamuffin: Look, man, I don't know what your problem is, but your reign of harassment ends now or I'll cut you, bitch. She's a ten year old girl anyway. You even realize how creepy you are?
Mr. Gosh: Yeah, but she's been 10 for a loooooong time now, man.

—Ragamuffin and Mr. Gosh in Lenore the Cute Little Dead Girl

"If I had killed somebody, it wouldn't have had so much appeal to the press, you see? But, fucking, you see, and the young girls. Judges want to fuck young girls. Juries want to fuck young girls. Everyone wants to fuck young girls!"

—Roman Polanski, in an interview with Martin Amis in 1979. He should know, too: he was accused of drugging and raping a 13 year old girl.

Her friends are so jealous
You know how bad girls get
Sometimes it's not so easy
To be the teacher's pet
Temptation, frustration
So bad it makes him cry
Wet bus stop, she's waiting
His car is warm and dry

—The Police, "Don't Stand So Close To Me"

Loose talk in the classroom
To hurt they try and try
Strong words in the staffroom
The accusations fly
It's no use, he sees her
He starts to shake and cough
Just like the old man in
That book by Nabokov

—The Police, "Don't Stand So Close To Me"

Sitting on a park bench
Eying little girls with bad intent

—Jethro Tull, "Aqualung"

Lewis: Damn kids! (sigh)
Sometimes I think I should have just stayed in Peru moving coke.
Machado was a cold bastard but he was good to his men.
Once you drew blood for him you were set.
Hooch, blow, girls, not women, GIRLS, little bitty things-
Secretary: (swings open office door) Brian!
Lewis: (notices school PA is on) Oh fuck.

—Principal Lewis, American Dad

If I am Lolita
Then you are a criminal
And you should be killed
By an army of little girls
The law won't arrest you
The world won't detest you
You never did anything
Any man wouldn't do
I'm Gothic Lolita
And you are a criminal
I'm not even legal
I'm just a dead little girl
But ruffles and laces
And candy sweet faces
Directed your furtive hand
I perfectly understand
So it's my fault?
No, Gothic Lolita

—Emilie Autumn, "Gothic Lolita"

"We took some pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. We're going back next year."

—Groucho Marx

Someone was remarking elsewhere that [Drew Barrymore] looks the same now as she did in ET, only with breasts. They said, "You're watching ET and saying, 'oh yeah, Drew Barrymore, rawr' and suddenly 'holy crap she's, like, THREE!' and you're gouging your eyes out with a spoon."

—"Legomancer", on the Straight Dope Website, 9/21/01