Lovehammer Inc

• Main
• YMMV
• Crowners
  • Awesome
• Wikipedia
• All Subpages
• Create New

Lovehammer Inc is the child of the Usagi as raised by the GEoM thread on SpaceBattles.com, just like Arkado's Lovehammer and Bpen's Scattering of Serenity. The idea is simple: what if Sailor Moon had been brought up by the Emperor of Mankind? The results range from silly to serious and most of the writing effort has been done collectively. Nevertheless, there are things that might be, tentatively, described as separate continuities.

Tropes used in Lovehammer Inc include:

• Action Girl: The Senshi
• Amazon Brigade: The Senshi, again.
• And I Must Scream: Dear god, Fulgrim.
• Arranged Marriage: Perturabo and Tekhne
  • Doubles as a Perfectly Arranged Marriage.
• Asskicking Equals Authority: Primarchs, Senshi, the Emperor...
• The Atoner: In some continuities, Horus and his legions, after being purified by a Moon Princess Hallation. They can never be forgiven, but they try to redeem themselves anyway, hunting down other traitors.
• Badass Bookworm: Magnus and Tekhne.
• Badass Family: All the Emperor's children.
• Badass Princess: Serenity
• Battle Couple: Esin and Amphithoe, Tekhne and Perturabo, Ira and Magnus, Russ and Thora
• Brain Bleach: The general reaction to seeing Sailor Horus, both by youma and rescuees alike.
• Bring My Brown Pants: An assassin learns to his detriment that you do not try to harm Serenity's 'little' brothers when just her tone of voice terrifies him, and this is after getting set on fire by an irate Mars.
• Cain and Abel: Several Lovehammer renditions of the Horus Heresy have Horus killing one or more of his siblings.
• The Chew Toy: The entire cast of the Sailor Horus continuity. Particularly Nefer.
• Crack Fic: Quite a lot of it, but not all.
• Cock Fight: Russ and Angron used to fight over Thora.
• Color Coded for Your Convenience: The Emperor and things related to him are gold. Serenity, her powers and her guard are silver.
• Cool Big Sis: Serenity to the Primarchs
• Cool Bike: Jaghatai and Esin
• Culture Clash: Many instances, isn't it fun?
• Cute and Psycho: "Sailor" Fulgrim, most likely as a side effect of being reclaimed from Slaanesh. His new mission in life is to kill all perverts. Unfortunately being a beautiful man cross dressing as a sailor senshi, he tends to generate a lot of them himself.
  • Doubles as Yandere when Ferrus Manus becomes involved.
• Cuteness Proximity: Little Serenity has this effect on the Emperor.
  • Persephone has this effect on both Mortarion and Sanguinius when she first meets each of them.
• Defeat Means Friendship: Angron and Serenity, invoked in their first meeting no less.
• Did Not Do the Research: Double Averted with Sailor Terra, the Velociraptors are knee high and have feathers, and the people of the 80s don't know that dinosaurs had feathers.
• Dissonant Serenity: Serenity has this effect on the Warp itself.
• Distracted by the Sexy: Beryl is justifiably thrown off her train of thought by Fulgrim in some incidences.
• Drinking Contest: Leman Russ starts one, though it did not go the way he expected it to, isn't that right, Mortarion?
• Drives Like Crazy: Angron's attempt to ride a warbike led to him breaking both the warbike and both his legs. He did take out a lot of Orks in the process though.
• Drop the Hammer: Thora.
• Dual-Wielding: Angron's preferred fighting style is to use two swords at once.
• Everyone Is Related: Although the Senshi and Serenity aren't really blood relatives, not even to each other, not that they care much.
• Everything's Better with Dinosaurs: Sailor Terra's basic attack is "The Smoking Bomber," it never shows up because he much prefers "Hungry Sailor Verlocirator Attack"
• Everything's Even Worse with Sharks: When the Youma jumped out of the water to escape the fish Sailor Terra used "Pretty Sailor Solider Shark Attack" since the great white was capable of jumping out of the water to get the Youma.
• Extra Ore Dinary: Venus
• Extreme Omnivore: Mortarion enjoys Serenity's cooking.
  • Serenity as a small child had shades of this, the Emperors hair being her favourite target.
• Fate Worse Than Death: Fulgrim
• Fictional Document: There are entire series of references to fictional romances involving Primarchs and/or Senshi.
  • Angron has a five season cartoon series based loosely on his actual actions.
• Fisher King: Seems to be invoked with the Emperor in the "Toy Soldiers" storyline. Sailor Terra was drawn forth into the 'canon' 40k verse by Beryl and bound into service via the tradition of "Sacred Marriage" with the Emperor. Simply known as "Terra" she is insane from the state of the world in 40k and has little personality in common with the Mamoru/Darien Shields Sailor Terra.
• Flirty Stepsiblings: It's a common belief in the Imperium that Horus and Serenity are or were very very fond of each other despite being (adopted) siblings.
• Gaia's Vengeance: Sailor Terra
• Gambit Pileup: The Great Treachery and the Age of Heresy in general, there is a reason it was nicknamed the "Galactic Clusterfuck" by the authors.
• Gender Bender: While the "Sailor Horus" storyline has the eponymous character and Fulgrim crossdressing, Mortarion and Angron were reborn as women.
• Girls with Guns: Mars likes her meltagun, yes she does.
  • Carried one step further with the OC Captain Sharon Vale of the Cadian 11th Armored and her tank/boyfriend Blade of Fury a.k.a. Sharon's Boomstick, an Imperial Shadowsword tank. Also Cargo Ship.
  • Venus also mentions proficiency with a bolter once or twice.
• Give Me a Sword: In one continuity, the Fallen Horus finds himself unable to withdraw his sword from a dead Angron and therefore 'borrows' Angron's sword, politely checking if his brother objects.
• Guns in Church: The World Eaters refactories are specifically arranged so that they never need to be more than arms reach from their weapons even while eating.
• Hand Cannon: Tekhne's holout boltpistol is sufficently powerful she generally drops it following the first shot. But some times she really needs that sort of punch. Besides, Perturabo gave it to her.
• Happily Married: Perturabo and Tekhne
• Harmful to Minors: Thora covers Persephone's eyes when a bout of wrestling between Angron and Vulkan becomes... a little too intense.
• Heel Realization: Beryl.
• Hot Amazon and Amazonian Beauty: All them to varying extents, but Jupiter especially.
• Hot Chick with a Sword: Uranus and Venus.
  • Uranus Dual Wields CHAINSWORDS!
• Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: Non-romantic example with Mortarion and Persephone.
  • Almost straight examples with the married Primarchs and Senshi. Jupiter is far from being short, but even a tall woman will look tiny next to a Primarch.
• Innocent Fanservice Girl: When Angron is reborn as a girl in the Sailor Horus storyline, he cares little if someone can see up his skirt while fighting evil.
• The Internet Is for Porn: The Martian global network consists of 40% porn. The Emperor assures them that this is completely to be expected that such happen spontaneously to such a network, and that Slaanesh isn't involved.
  • But it's icky wet fleshy sex! For the cyborg, flesh-hating Mechanicus this is layers of perversion and ew. Their own datasphere is trolling them.
• IN NOMINE LUNA: Space Marines shout this occasionally. They have at least once also declared something like that they win battles during the night and fight for justice during the day. And it is seriously scary to their opponents.

... "THE EMPEROR'S WRATH UPON THE BETRAYER!" was the retort of a thousand strong. "The Wolves no longer howl at the Moon." "LET THE DARK DESTROY THE DARK!" "Brothers! I offer you the Astral Claws and Huron Blackheart, the Tyrant of Badab!" "IN NOMINE LUNA, THEY SHALL BE PUNISHED!"

• It Tastes Like Feet: Horus compares Serenity's biscuits with a "wet cat's backside" here
• I Was Beaten by a Girl: Russ, much to his dismay.
• Kuudere: Mortarion is a male example.
• Lady of War: Serenity
  • She befriended Angron. With her bare fists.
• Large Ham: Angron, so badly.
  • You mean wonderfully?
    • Let's just say its so bad it is wonderful, and hilarious.
  • THE ANGRY ONE IS A FRIEND TO ALL CHILDREN!
• Last of His Kind: After the destruction of Chogoris at the hands of rogue Space Marines, Jaghatai and the remnants of his family are this. Before the event, as befitting of a Khan, Jaghatai had 300+ wives, many children, and along with relatives, a family of over 1000 people. After the event, and the rest of the Age of Heresy, all he had remaining was ten people.
• Lethal Chef: Serenity's attempts at cooking go as well as in canon.
• Little Miss Badass and Badass Adorable: Persephone. Also known as the Senshi Saturn.
• Loads and Loads of Characters: Dear sweet heaven, just...this.
• Long-Lost Relative
• Love Makes You Crazy: Beryl
• Love Makes You Evil: Beryl, again.
• Love Redeems: Beryl, yet again
• Luke, I Am Your Father: Pretty much how finding a Primarch works, unless it's Serenity that makes first contact, which seems to be most of the time. Then again, those instances only mean that the Luke, I Am Your Father moment is temporarily delayed.
• Luminescent Blush: Thora during Vulkan and Angron's wrestling match.
• Man in a Kilt: Angron is implied to favor kilts in a few continuities. In the Sailor Horus storyline he treats the fuku skirt the same way, despite being a teenage girl at the time
• Massive-Numbered Siblings: Jaghatai has a staggering number of children.
• Meaningful Name: The Senshi, in more ways than the immediately obvious.
• Meaningful Rename: An alternate version of the arrival of Imperial presence on Nostramo has Serenity rename the Night Haunter to Konrad Curze.
• The Messiah: Serenity.
• Mind Rape: Unwillingly inflicted on Fulgrim when his soul got transferred back to his body. He kept the memories of the deamon that had been possessing him.
• Mood Whiplash: All over the thread.
  • As an example, in Toy Soldiers Ferrus Manus fell to Nurgle, and Fulgrim lost most of his legion but they succeed in putting the Iron fists down, burning them on pyres. Horrifically repeating the mental denial that it wasn't, hadn't been his brother. This barely has time to sink in on the thread when the next ficbit goes up. They are resurrected as Llamas and Prinnies as they had been warned would happen. Purple Llamas. They are sent to petting zoos since they likely fell due to lack of hugs.
• Morton's Fork: Fulgrim was warned about the sword on Laer. If he took it he'd be exposed to it, if he refused it they would know he had been warned.
• Moses in the Bulrushes: Serenity
• Mother Earth: Sailor Terra, again
• Mother Nature, Father Science: Sailor Terra dropped a fish on him. Word of God is that he was Prof. Tomoe
  • Quite literally in the case of Terra and the Emperor, both being Eldritch Horrors with their own portfolios.
• Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Toy Soldiers, Beryl has a wish, and Lovehammer never happens.
• No Indoor Voice: Angron
• Not So Stoic: Konrad Curze upon meeting Serenity.
• Older and Wiser: When one of the next generation of the royal family needs to get his anger under control, Angron is tapped as mentor.
• Only Sane Man: Malcador. Rogal Dorn wants to be this, but Perturabo gets in his way.
• Panicky Expectant Father: Leman Russ of all people.
• Parrot Pet Position: Persephone occasionally rides on Mortarion's shoulder.
• Percussive Therapy: A decade with the World Eaters did let Artai work through his anger over the destruction of Chogoris
• Perpetual Frowner: Roboute Guilliman
• Pistol-Whipping: The early command style of Umi , reincarnation of Angron, involves a lot of this. How much effect it has on power armoured World Eaters is questionable.
• Prongs of Poseidon: Amphithoe, who is given a power-trident as a gift from Ferrus Manus.
• Pure Awesomeness: The Emperor could probably burn normal peoples' sanity by just being in the area if he didn't bother reigning in his psychic presence. The same goes for the physical part of the matter.
• Right Through the Wall: Perturabo and Tekhne, as overheard by his Squicked adoptive father.
• Sibling Triangle: Angron and Leman Russ, regarding Thora.
• Shared Universe: Not all stories are in the same universe, but there's a great deal of overlap and consensus.
• Shout-Out: The Imperial Literature and Imperial Entertainment chapters are essentially built on shout outs to literature, television, etc.
• Snowball Fight: Azmina and Rogal like these.
• Somewhere a Palaeontologist Is Crying: Sailor Terra's author is aware that the Velociraptors are smaller than depicted in Jurassic Park. There is an intention to eventually portray them that way, but forgets to.
  • There was a post where in a 'fan' was very upset and spouting conspiracy theories because Velociraptors don't have feathers. The exchange culminated in Sailor Terra throwing progressively longer tailed and more scaly chickens at the man, then manifesting a fluffy T-Rex baby in his arms. The fic takes place in the 80s, the same time Sailor Moon does, that Velociraptors had feathers was only discovered in 2007.
• Statuesque Stunner: Thora.
• Stock Dinosaurs: The reason for using Velociraptors. Subverted in that Sailor Terra has Word of God other dinosaur attacks including "Spinosarus Salvation" and "Deinonychus Damnation"
• Sailor Summons Bigger Fish: Literally. Another one of Terra's attacks, it summons a large prehistoric bony fish, either above the enemy or in the water with them.
• Suspiciously Specific Denial: Of course, no Legion would stoop as low as to murdering a simple writer for writing bad historical romance about their Primarch.
• Stalker with a Crush: Beryl started as this towards Fulgrim
• Tearjerker: Many of the Imperial Family's reactions to the fallout of Lorgar's treachery and the Age of Heresy
• Tempting Fate: Jaghatai in the second part of 'The Game' arc.
• The Berserker: Angron and later his nephew Artai.
• The Clan: The 'Imperial Family' in all its dysfunctional glory.
• The High Queen: Serenity in public.
• The Matchmaker: Azmina, not that it ever works.
• The Woman Wearing the Queenly Mask: Also Serenity.
• Theme Naming: The Senshi, again.
• Tranquil Fury: Do not refer to Persephone as an abomintion to Mortarion, face-to-face or not. Calas you foolish man...
• Tomboyish Name: Russ and Thora's daughter Ulfhild. They were expecting a boy, so no female names were considered.
  • The Archivist notes that it was mostly Russ that was absolutely convinced that they where going to have a son, so Thora had to step in. Still, Ulfhild is named in honour of her father. Awww.
    • And none-the-less it is a female name, yay for the harshness of Nordic/Germanic languages, I suppose?
• Troll: Malacador and the Imperial Family, mostly the male half. That and violence is how they bond. The Emperor is the biggest troll of them all.
  • Not anymore. Ruin as the personification of Entropy in the SM universe, with Cosmos (aka far, far, far future Serenity) personifying Order, has been inserted into the 40k universe. His entire existence is to troll other beings, except that he in turn is trolled by Cosmos. He trolls her back by killing her Senshi in ever-more inventive ways. Being thrown into the grim dark galaxy ironically mellowed him/it out a lot.
    • Some consider Ruin indicative of the OC bloat in Lovehammer. However, due to multiple continuities and the friendly posting atmosphere, this is not as much of a problem as keeping track of the many different continuities. Yes. The confused reader needs to troll back.
  • a Dark Eldar character known as Ruith not only trolls the imperium (his introduction has him announcing his intention to court Sailor Morta) , but has managed to use trolling and mindscrews as a alternative food source than teh typical Dark Eldar addiction to pain and torment.
• Up to Eleven: Young Rogal Dorn's pillow forts, which involved the entire cushion contents of multiple wings of the family compound, plus some from the neighbors.
• Utility Belt: Perturabo gave Tekhne one as a wedding anniversary. It is known to contain at least two pairs of earplugs and a holdout boltpistol.
• Villainous BSOD: Again Beryl when confronted by Ferrus and Konrad.
• What Do You Mean It Wasn't Made on Drugs?
• "Well Done, Son" Guy: Fulgrim, apparently.
• You Are Not Alone: What the Rites Arc is turning out to be.
• Youngest Child Wins: Averted. Alpharius, last of the primarchs, gets very little mention at all.