Mercenaries/Funny

Mattias can hijack tanks and vehicles quickly and with little fuss. He knows this.

Mattias^[1]: They sent me a tank?!
Mattias^[2]: Time to bail out, and steal another one.

Stealing Fiona's car irritates her.

Fiona: That's mine, not yours! Remember the difference!

You get this gem in Mercenaries 2 when you hijack a friendly or civilian car as Mattias:

Mattias: This is an emergency! A Viking emergency!

When the player first meets Misha, he explains why he's hiding out with the Jamaican pirates.

Misha: Was not my fault. Was lieutenant. Gives me wrong coordinates. I drop bomb in right place, but is wrong place. He tries to blame me. Guys with big hats come. But I show them, show them wrong coordinates. Big hats get mad at lieutenant, he gets mad at me.

Misha extolling the virtues of the MOAB.

Misha: Do you have MOAB yet? Misha love to drop near ex-wife's house. When explode, looks like a nuke went off and scary the hell out of everyone within 1,000 kilometers. Use, if you have much hate inside.

↑ (in much the same tone of voice a small boy would talk about a particularly exciting Christmas present)
↑ (when driving a flaming vehicle that is about to blow up from under him)

[1] (in much the same tone of voice a small boy would talk about a particularly exciting Christmas present)

[2] (when driving a flaming vehicle that is about to blow up from under him)

[1]

[2]