Metal Gear/Narm

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


!

What was that noise?

...

Oh... it's just some Metal Gear Narm...

Eight-bit Metal Gear

  • Natasha's amazing Final Speech in Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake. She manages to directly contradict her own ridiculous metaphor, twice.
  • The "deadly poisonous Zanzibar hamsters" (see the ridiculous line in all of its glory on the main Narm/Video Games page).
  • Likewise, "I FEEL ASLEEP!!".
    • At least the MSX version got this right... it's "I'M AWAKE!" in that one. Which makes more sense, since the character starts moving around after saying it. This troper will have to check what it says in the PlayStation 2 port of this game.
  • The owl puzzle, which involved hatching an adult owl from an egg and making it hoot to trick a guard into thinking it's nighttime.
  • Snake's response to having to beat his best friend to death: "FOX! I'LL KICK YOUR TWISTED MIND OUT OF YOU!"
    • That's from the fan-translated version, which translated most of the dialogue a bit too literally. In the official translation, he says "Fox! I'll beat some sense into you!", which makes a bit more sense to a native English speaker.
  • The whole game becomes one long Narm if you're more used to the Solid series. If you are, you will be familiar with Snake as a Badass Shell Shocked Senior-slash-Cool Old Guy and accustomed to the heavy melodrama. It's jarring to pick up a Metal Gear and see exactly what traumatised Snake into Heroic BSOD in Metal Gear Solid.
  • In Metal Gear 2, Fox, on his deathbed, talks about his failed relationship with his true love, Natasha. Unfortunately, the words he chooses to describe this make it sound like he's just dreadful in bed. You can't "make a woman happy", Fox?

Metal Gear Solid 1/ The Twin Snakes

  • Each of the alternate endings in the original Metal Gear Solid had a handful, so there was no escape. Upon failing to save Meryl, Snake - sounding on the edge of tears for the first time so far - rants at himself for being too selfish to save her; it's genuinely moving until he cries, "I'm a loser!" If he rescues her, you then get to sit through one of the most gloriously cheesy romantic scenes ever written.

"It's so beautiful. The sky, the snow, the caribou...and...most of all... you."

  • The usage of stock footage in both Baker's and Otacon's long speeches. It completely pulls me away from the action in that "...Did they actually USE THAT?" sort of manner.
  • The Twin Snakes had awful facial expressions, especially when you consider that MGS2 contained some strikingly subtle ones three years prior (for a good example, watch Snake's face during Emma's death scene). Snake, in TTS, has a permanent facial expression of mildly-annoyed confusion, which is all the more hilarious because it unintentionally suits his character. It hits rock bottom when Gray Fox is being crushed by Liquid, and Snake gives an impassioned scream of FOOOOOOOOOOOOX! - his face looks so terrible that it becomes immediately funny. And the Say My Name abuse was funny in itself.
    • The scene immediately before becomes Narmful too, if you're a psychopath who enjoys mashing the Square button to hear Snake complaining. "No! I can't do it! -" "AFTER ZANZIBAR - " "It's no good! I can't do it! -" "I WAS TAKEN FROM THE BATTLE - " "No! I can't do it! It's no good! I can't do it!" - "AN UNDYING SHADOW - " etcetera.
    • While the inability of a professional killer to Shoot the Dog, having learned from his past mistakes, is arguably powerful, try destroying the radome with your last missile. Snake's dialogue changes to reflect this: "It's no good! I'm out of missiles!" So much for character development, Snake.
  • Anything involving Liquid and genes.
    • "SNAKE . . . did you like my sunglaahhhhhses?"
      • Liquid's, er... 'British accent' in general in the original MGS. One of the few bits of narm that was arguably improved for Twin Snakes.
  • No mention of the Cyborg Ninja ( Gray Fox) fight yet? It's hard to concentrate since Gray Fox seems to having an orgasm from the fight.

"Now, make me feel it! Make me feel alive again!" (a few punches later...) "That's good, Snake!" (a few punches more...) "HURT ME MORE!!!" (a few punches after that) "MORE!!! MORE!!!"

  • The DARPA Chief, Anderson, dies of an apparent heart attack right in front of Snake, complete with trying to voice his final words while clutching at Snake's shirt. After he falls to the ground, Snake takes his pulse, and simply says, "Huh. Dead." Funnily enough, Snake's justifiably freaked out in the codec conversation immediately afterward.
  • The conversation between Otacon and Snake in the elevator of invisible soldiers is rather scary, with the music growing in intensity...right up until Otacon leans into the screen and starts screaming at Snake to get out while the music swells in volume. There's just something about Otacon screaming combined with his zoomed in, terrified face that is hilarious.
  • "A rat must have eaten it!"

"Now who's being ridiculous?"

  • Snake's wonderful description of why it's unlikely that Liquid would survive:

"He'll be sliced up faster than an onion in an infomercial."

    • This is changed in The Twin Snakes to "He'd have been cut to ribbons by the rotor blades."
  • "Can love bloom Snake? Even on a battlefield?"
  • "Snake? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!?"
  • "A surveillance camera?!"
  • Contrast and compare: Exhibit A: Colonel Trautman in Rambo 3 being electrocuted on a metal bed- pained expression with suppressed cries of pain. Exhibit B: Solid Snake in Metal Gear Solid being electrocuted on a metal bed- NNNNNNAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
  • The death of Sniper Wolf (I know, I know). I wouldn't have found her long speech half as amusing if she hadn't stated at the beginning that she had been shot in the lung.
  • How could nobody have mentioned the ladder instructions, yet?!

SHUT UP FOR CHRIST'S SAKE I KNOW HOW TO CLIMB A LADDER JESUS OW MY EAR

Metal Gear Solid 2

  • Whenever someone says "La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo" in Metal Gear Solid 2, it undermines the drama of the scene. The voice actors had a decent stab at appropriate enunciation, at least. The same can't be said of the excruciatingly corny Russian accents.
    • Olga Gurlukovich's Russian accent is right up there with Tim Curry's Romanian accent in Congo. I kept waiting to hear something about nuclear wessels.
    • The La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo thing makes a cameo in Super Smash Bros.. Brawl in all its deadpan glory (at least in the English version). It's in Snake's codec of Luigi.
      • Said Brawl Codec also mocks the death scream:

"Colonel? COLONELLLLLLLLL!"

  • MGS2 also had Jack and Rose's relationship drama, which, despite aiming for meaningful and moving, has been known to send many gamers into fits of hysterics. The favorite whipping-boy of these conversations is the one about Raiden's room and the infamous "empty like your heart!!!" line. Rose repeatedly attempts to get Jack to recall why the, er, Arc Date April 30th is important to her; while some of her nagging was intended to be funny, it meant that, when it took a darker turn, it got funnier.

Campbell: There's a terminal in front of the elevator, a node.
Raiden: Did you say "nerd"?

      • Actually the drowning line is significant. Emma has severe hydrophobia, so she was paralyzed when she had to swim through some flooded corridors.
      • The 'nerd' line is supposed to be significant. A major part of Metal Gear Solid 2's subtext is that the gamer is fantasizing about being Solid Snake as much as Raiden is, and the node at the start of the game is where you input your name and other details. The intention is that you are the "nerd." However, the way it's delivered makes Raiden sound like a raging jackass.
    • Apparently, the narm of the MGS series has reached the point that things like having a terrorist squad with a freaking vampire who can run up a building and a fat demolition expert that runs around on roller skates drinking wine through a bendy straw are par for the course.
  • "By the way, Jack, I was the one who killed your parents."
    • Directly ripped from legitimately dramatic revelation in the previous game, where Gray Fox has good reason to be holding back the fact that he met Naomi Hunter as an orphan because he had killed hers during the Mozambique civil war. It lacks the potential drama here since it comes out of nowhere and is completely pointless.
  • While all of the above are good points, they don't touch the glory that is Stillman- not even Rose. "I killed mah SOUL!" "This is the only way I can defuse mah sins!"
  • "I need scissors! 61!!" This one is likely intentional, but come on.
    • Honestly, I found it to be pretty terrifying. His WORDS may say "I NEED SCISSORS! SIXTY-ONE!", but his tone says "I AM UNDER YOUR BED RIGHT NOW."
  • "Don't test it! You'll be bacon!"
  • "But WHY?!"
  • "I'm scared of the night!"
  • The entire sequence surrounding Emma's death. What should be a legitimately tragic moment is completely ruined by Emma's fighting game knock out triple scream, random slow motion for no reason, the constant, incredibly sappy piano music, showing that sending Emma over the pontoon bridge alone was moronic and pointless since Raiden seems to effortlessly run across, Snake's incompetence about computers which probably is supposed to be funny but is very poorly placed, and above all else, Christopher Randolph's ridiculous acting.
    • The fact that he kept screaming "E.E.!! E.Eeee!!" didn't help. Writers, a tip -- "E. E." is a horribly lame nickname as it is, and holds up even worse when screamed out loud. Seriously, was there any reason why he couldn't have at least used her actual name in this scene?
  • Raiden throwing away the dogtags that have the player entered information printed on them is supposed to be symbolic of him separating himself from the player and make the player wonder if the person going through the S3 training phase was Raiden or themselves. However, this is somewhat undercut if, like some players, you decide to abuse the Hello, Insert Name Here potential by entering something like "Suck My Dick" or "Boner Patrol."
    • Or, heck, something belonging to an in-game character. Adds a certain bit of confusion to Raiden's claim that he's never heard of the name written on the tags before.

Metal Gear Solid 3, Portable Ops and Peace Walker

  • "And when he wakes up it will be The End for the boy."
  • Volgin. His lighting powers are no match for the fact that he is a fucking James Bond villain.
    • Failing to get information out of your target it reasonable. Getting so wrapped up in torturing him that you give him all your information is different. What should have been a dramatic interrogation scene that advances the plot only manages to hit two out of three points. Guess which two.
    • Volgin's best Bond Villain moment is right before he lowers you both into the pit, a great moment of ridiculous nonsense in and of itself. Hiimdaisy's comic summed it up well: "Fine. I will explain the entire plot before we fight and I lose."
  • Metal Gear Solid 3 has an example similar to the Cardcaptor Sakura one noted in Narm/Anime. It would be much easier to take The Boss seriously if she wasn't voiced by Diane Simmons. (Though it didn't make her any less Badass.)
  • The theme song, "Snake Eater", done in a James Bond-esque style, is both Crowning Music of Awesome and Narm at the same time. The music is great, but the lyrics contain lines like "Some day you go through the rain, some day you feed on a tree frog...." The incredible corniness is part of what makes it so good.
    • As well as the title-- "Snake Eater"... well, we'll let you guess what "snake" is code for in porn.
  • Some of Ocelot's cred as a hyper-Badass is undermined by MGS3 when he calls for support.

MRRRROWR!'

  • The scene after the Ocelot boss battle. The Pain's hornets come out of nowhere and all of Ocelot's men start running and screaming like girls while Ocelot himself kills the hornets coming his way by twirling his guns, all the while keeping a straight face.
    • The Pain, himself. His Power Ranger introductory dance removes any possibility of taking him seriously from the moment you see him pose.
  • The Fear seems to have some sort of specialized Narm Tourette's involving saying the word "FFFEAR FEARF-F-FFFEEEEEEARR" to help add some derp to his otherwise creepy persona.
  • Big Boss' little reaction/thinking noises. Hrm. Hrm? Grrm. Mrm? Hmm! Ergm. Mrughm? Hnrgm. Murgh? Grm!
  • The scene where Snake, disguised as Raikov, is caught by Volgin and The Boss, and the latter asks "What is this fairy disguise?". And let's not forget that just a few seconds ago we saw Volgin see through the disguise by grabbing Snake's crotch, and it is realized that Volgin isn't exactly what he seems. And then we go from Narm to one of the most horrifying and gruesome torture scenes ever!
    • MGS3 actually exists for two reasons. One is to be a prequel to the Metal Gear series. The other is to make fun of Raiden.
      • Call Major Zero wearing the mask for the best demonstration of this fact. "What should I do if I find the guy whose face this is modeled after?" "BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF HIM."
  • "You are above even the Boss. I hereby award you the title Big Boss." Utterly kills the mood of the final scene.
  • The death of The End is made much less dramatic when his dentures fly out of his mouth. That it happens mid-sentence is just icing on the silly cake.

"What a splendid way to end it all. I have no regrets. I can return to the foremrrfmrmurf" *BOOM*

  • During the scene at the end of Metal Gear Solid 3 when Ocelot is fighting Snake as EVA is trying to stabilize the Wi G cargo plane, that Ocelot had just fired a bullet into the engine of, she says, "Not good!" I'm sorry but that that one line came off as soundly terribly silly, the tone of voice EVA delivers the line in sounds like she is forcing out a turd or something and the sheer wallbanger territory the line reaches when you realize how obvious it is that the situation is not good, Snake is fighting Ocelot in a fist fight without the aid of a gun to protect himself if things go south and the plane all three of you are in is about to crash... OF COURSE THINGS ARE NOT GOOD! The overall scene is an incredibly awesome fight between Snake and Ocelot and serves as great character development between the two and shines some light on later revelations about Big Boss and Ocelot in Metal Gear Solid 4, but EVA's line and the delivery of it makes it somewhat narmful.
  • Boss' reveal of her self performed cesarean section scar. The story behind it is more effectively dramatic, but the way she rips her shirt open like she's a flasher is less so.
    • Hell, the scar itself is Narmish. Big Boss notes that the scar marks her as a mother. It also marks her performing surgeon as either legally blind or woefully uninformed about human anatomy.
    • It's still narmish, but that's kind of the point- The Boss performed the cesarean herself on the battlefield. Let me extend this into further narm: The Boss fought in the storming of Normandy while 9 months pregnant!
  • Peace Walker. Snake corners Zadornov, who, in a final act of defiance on his deathbed, shoots a peace sign at Snake with his robotic hand, screams "ROCKET... PEACE!", and shoots it at Big Boss's eyes.
  • Any time Paz opens her mouth.
    • Her commentary on the final boss battle: 'Soon, you will witness TRUUUUE HEEEELL!!!'
  • The sheer amount of times they say 'peace', 'deterrence', 'compas', etc., is enough that one would need to make a drinking game to keep track of it all.
  • The Fulton(sp?) Recovery System. YOU'RE STRAPPING PEOPLE TO BALLOONS.
    • It's real.
    • It IS real, hell it's how Snake escaped the virtuous mission in 3, it's just that it DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY in real life. It looks absolutely ridiculous when you strap someone to a balloon, underground, and they fly up into the ceiling and Master still somehow picks them up in the chopper.
  • To receive a lower age rating for the Japanese version of Peace Walker, Konami replaced the electric torture with laughing rods. No wonder why Kojima was so pissed off after learning about this.
    • "Your next laugh will be your last!"
  • Any facial expression Coldman makes. Ever. Rape Face doesn't even come close to describing it.
    • The very name Hot Coldman qualifies as Narm to English speakers. It might be a good pun and sound cool to Japanese gamers, but there's no one in America, let alone the CIA, who's first name is Hot.
  • The scene where Snake meets Cecile. Let's see: Snake is asking an attractive, half-naked frenchwoman to come back to his place where she can have all the cigarettes she wants. Nope, everything seems COMPLETELY innocent here~!
  • The placement of the flame-thrower on Peace Walker.
  • The Shagohod. Not the thing itself, the name. It's easy to forget how scary the concept is when it has a name which wouldn't look out of place in an Austin Powers film.
  • When Snake gets his utility belt back off Eva the only thing I could think of was "I hope you remembered to pack my machine gun, rocket launcher and sniper rifle into that." And again when Ocelot throws it out of the plane at the end. "No he threw away my machine gun, my sniper rifle AND my rocket launcher".

Metal Gear Solid 4

  • Metal Gear Solid 4 has Raiden whining that "IT EVEN RAIINNED THE DAY I WAS BOOOOORRRRNNNN!".
    • Snake's response was arguably worse: "You've got it all wrong! You were the lightning in that rain! You can still shine through the darkness!" Careful Snake, you'll make Otacon jealous...
    • For the record, they weren't SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUTING IT! like this post might make you think.
      • As a matter of fact, the "rain birth' line was delivered in a self depriciating, deadpan snarker tone(it shows a similar change in him as to the change in snake from the original metal gears and Solid). While Snakes line was not yelled at al, just delivered in his usual growl.
  • The hilarious scene where Otacon breaks down in tears while clutching to his chest, of all the goddamn things in the world, a laptop MacBook Pro.
  • Snake's impassioned cry of "LIIIIIQQQQQQQQUUUUUUUIIIIIIIDDDD!" during the final fight.
    • The fact that it looks like he's crotch thrusting adds to it.
  • Raging Raven/Beauty's crazy speech that establishes her personal fears and psychoses is ruined by one line: "The Ravens are pecking at my flesh! And my soul!" The speech is perfectly fine and disturbing otherwise.
    • Her screaming out "RAAAAAAAGE! RAAAAAAAAAGE!".
    • Whereas Laughing Beauty's speech is ruined right at the outset, as it begins with "I...am an octopus. An EIGHT LEGGED BEAST!"
      • Completely acceptable if you make sure to tell yourself that she's completely insane, and wouldn't give a damn about biology anyway.
      • There's also the part right after where she vomits ink. It would have been perfectly acceptable if she didn't keep vomiting for like five or six seconds straight without her stopping for breath or, indeed, without the ink-vomit ever receding.
    • Also during Raging Raven's fight, when you manage to get her out of her robotic suit, she begins ranting, and it's kind of creepy. Then you get an R1 (first person view during cutscene) moment when she turns away from Snake, and he's looking directly at her well-shaped but fucking crazy ass. Made this troper laugh so much he was subsequently killed.
  • The backstories of the members of the Beauty and the Beast Unit were too over the top to take seriously. Except for Crying Wolf's.
    • Laughing Octopus's story is perfectly creepy if you just roll with it (hey, theoretically, it could happen). And then comes the bit about the spilled blood of the torture victims turning ink black. You-u-u lost me there, Drebin.
    • This troper could not stop laughing after hearing some of the Fembots back stories, simply because they were so implausible; Drebin's over-dramatic delivery just heightened the Narm. I even started making up new parts as he was talking like: (Done in a husky, over-dramatic Drebin impression) "She had a doll, a doll she loved. And one day the soldiers came and raped the doll. The pain was so great, the doll caught fire. And then it exploded. The explosion burned down her village, and killed her grandmother. And to this day, she carries the ashes of that doll. That, Snake, is why she's a crazy overpowered Fembot." The inherent seriousness of the situation and the somber music just added to the Narminess.
      • keep in mind though, he is almost telling the story from a poetic perspective, not everything he says should be taken too literally.
      • When you think about it, it kind of makes sense, Mantis was dehydrated and hallucinating, hallucinations can make you believe all sorts of unrealistic things, even a mantis talking to you. Same for immense mental trauma, suffered by wolf, leading her to believe she had a wolf companion (imaginary friend). Octopus seeing blood turn black is not very strange, blood being crimson can come in very dark shades. Raven being the only survivor of her camp may be coincidental, but far from impossible. Also, it makes perfect sense that an organization focused on creating bio-mechanical weapons of mass destruction would pursue traumatized children, after all there is nothing as pure and cruel as the mind of a child.
      • See here for a Drebin Mad Libs generator.
  • The B&B Unit in general. They're a squad of weaponised furries.
    • Their little imaginary companions? Tulpas.
  • When Naomi dies, what would have been an extraordinarily sad scene is ruined because Otacon is present in the form of a little robot that flails in a cutesy manner as Otacon is crying.
    • Her dying words are spoken outside the hearing range of Otacon and Snake.
      • "Hey, come back you bastards, I'm not finished dying yet!" Snake and Otacon have a big emotional moment and drive off into the sunset together before she even lost consciousness! Charming.
        • She totally deserved it, her whole thing was one of the head-basingly worst parts of the game
        • What gets me is how, the moment her nanomachines are suppressed, the cancer kills her. I always think super cancer!
          • Worse than that: nanomachines, which the game consistently assigns near magically omnipotent properties, somehow could only "hold back" the cancer, rather than kill the cancerous cells and cure it entirely.
    • Rather than reflexively reaching out toward the dying Naomi, Otacon must be using the unquestionably complex remote controls to manipulate the robot into a simulation of a simple human gesture. It kills the drama when it is understood that the character, by necessity, must be making a conscious and complicated effort to create the appearance of an instinctive human reaction.
      • That makes it even sadder, but for a different reason - it makes it seem like Otacon is forcing his love for her, too, which makes perfect sense in context.
  • Examples of Narm that happen repeatedly:
    1. Meryl mentions "the System."
    2. Snake says "huh?" or repeats what was said back. (If a coin was given to Charity every time he said "huh?" then there would be no need for charity anymore).
  • The whole scene with one-armed Raiden illogically deciding to hold a WARSHIP IN PLACE (so it wouldn't crush Snake) when he could have (considering his implied strength at this point) picked up Snake and taken him to safety.
    • Considering he had just cut off his own arm, it's possible that blood loss could have affected his judgement.
    • He made pretty clear that he didn't want to live anymore.
      • None of this makes the sheer ridiculousness of the scene any lesser. The ship was going through concrete. No matter how powerful or durable Raiden's cyborg body is supposed to be, putting it between the ship and the dock wouldn't stop the ship from going forward. At best Raiden would be unharmed but the ground beneath his feet would keep getting destroyed. You don't need to know much anything about physics for this to realize that immediately. And this is if we ignore how fricking ridiculous the idea of anything man sized being able to stop a damn tanker is in the first place. There are cool breaks from reality, then there're suspension of disbelief shattering breaks from reality. Yours is made of steel if it didn't break into laughter at that point.
  • Then there is the cutscene immediately preceding the final hand-to-hand battle between Old Snake and Ocelot: while the beginning of the cutscene and the interactive portion of the battle keep two geezers beating the crap out of each other outside the realm of Narm, it goes completely to hell once Snake collapses and has to use his syringe to get back on his feet. After some more fighting, OCELOT collapses and uses ANOTHER syringe to get back up. After some more fighting, BOTH men collapse and use their respective syringes AT THE SAME TIME. Then after some MORE fighting they start collapsing and STAB EACH OTHER with the syringes. Yeah, don't try this at home, kids.
    • While most of the fight coreography was pretty solid, there were two moments that made this player giggle with insane glee. The fist is a birds-eye-view of Liquid whaling on Snake. Too much emphasis, maybe? The second is a bizarre flying body slam from Snake that suggests he graduated from the William Shatner school of CQC (which predictably Ocelot counters by... catching him).
      • Your Mileage May Vary at least on the second part; This Troper thought Snake was actually doing his jumping roundhouse kick from MGS2 - Ocelot just caught him midway through it.
    • On the other hand, certain people find that scene to be a Crowning Moment of Awesome.
  • During the horrific microwave scene, Snake's prominent buttocks glow.
    • His entire Octo-Camo was glowing; the color was fleshlike enough to make it seem that Snake was in a bunch of leather straps.
    • Speaking of the microwave hallway, that whole sequence was incredibly dramatic until the PIP screen cut to Sunny dancing in front of her stove.
    • This troper said this soon after the event on a playthrough. "Is it a good idea to microwave this?"
  • Snake describing the Outer Haven ship as a 'Death Star.'
  • Naomi's final speech. "We wished to free the captured foxes. To let them run free in the wild."
    • Especially considering she's standing in front of BIRDS
  • After the mighty Crowning Moment of Awesome where Rex and Ray fight it out, there's a thoroughly ridiculous scene where Snake falls over and Ocelot's plan is seemingly to run off while laughing like a twit. It's like a militarised Benny Hill routine.
  • Two words: Mount Snakemore.
  • When the time comes for Liquid Ocelot to demonstrate his "Guns of the Patriots" plan, his choice of executing it is without compare: Using his fingers as guns and shouting "bang" a whole bunch. The scene where he uses his fingers as machine guns, making machine gun noises as his troops waste the opposing armies, is the stuff of a thousand animated gifs.
  • The epilogues. Dear lord. If the endless ramblings about zeros and hundreds and whatever didn't make that part impossible to take seriously, then the "Like a scene from The Beauty and the Beast" line definitely killed the next one.
  • The fight between Raiden and Vamp is intense and gripping. But think it about it this way: Raiden and Vamp are in a swordfight that's causing Raiden to spray white bodily fluids everywhere.
  • And of course, it just gets more obscene with the unlockables on the New Game+, particularly the tuxedo and facecamo: You can watch Drebin talk to himself, watch Otacon sneak around like James Bond, and if you're good enough to get it, you can even see Snake replaced by the char-grilled corpse of Solidus.


Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

Non-canon Metal Gear

  • Not even Metal Gear Solid Ghost Babel is immune. After killing the boss Marionette Owl, he says that he and his unit have vowed vengeance on 'Anonymous'. This was fine at the time; but with the rise of certain Image Boards, the effect is reminiscent of a certain FOX news broadcast. "His madness surpasses even my own," says Owl. Considering Owl's Freudian Excuse was that he found a murdered, shredded body as a child, you can understand he'd have such a hatred for a board full of trolling and Guro.
  • Another non-canon one, this one from Metal Gear Acid 2. Ho Yay between Snake and his friend Dalton reaches its hilarious climax with Snake lying semi-naked on a bed while Dalton chides him for being so reckless as to endanger his own life; Snake responds that it wasn't really recklessness because he knew Dalton would always be there to save him. Dalton agrees, says, "This will probably do you some good" while implicitly approaching - and then there's an extended Fade to Black. If you've been picking up on the Subtext and are familiar with the Sexy Discretion Shot trope, you'll either be relieved or disappointed when the fade to black is revealed to be a loading break for the next part of the cutscene, in which Dalton is giving Snake a fairly innocuous item.
    • In the same scene, Snake is finally reunited, after huge personal tragedy, with his 'family'. Unfortunately the artist drew him with a look of absolute dread as his allies throw their arms around his neck, making it look as if he would rather have never seen them again.
    • Snake's hairstyle in that game ruins every single serious moment he attempts to have in it. You could argue that his usual hair was pretty Eighties, but at least he wasn't sporting a golden blond high-top-mullet.
    • Talking of Snake's hairstyle, in the first Ac!d, Snake had a straight, shoulder-length cut with the bandanna tied under. It's flattering until we see a couple-of-years younger Snake in a flashback who has hair the same length, but very wavy. The image of Snake picking up a pair of straightening irons so he can preen himself before a mission is patently absurd enough to ruin even a seemingly normal haircut.
    • Metal Gear Chaioth ha Qadesh, once you get to fight it. In theory, great: it's a living Metal Gear which combines the best parts of all its predecessors. The graphics don't help it look intimidating in a REX or RAY kind of way, but the real (and probably borderline intentional) narm is that, while the camera offers loving views of its lower body, you have to shoot its Metal Gearhood.
  • It falls somewhere between Reverse Funny Aneurysm and Crowning Moment of Awesome, but the final boss of Snake's Revenge is Big Boss!... who, upon defeat, transforms into an invincible giant purple robot and chases Snake down the halls breathing fire. Anything I could put here would completely fail to describe how this actually feels to play.
    • His weakpoint is the soles of his feet. It may be impossible to impart that vital piece of information and still sound cool.
  • Nick's death in Snake's Revenge is a fairly dramatic moment, but it's spoiled by miscolouring one pixel on his heaving back. As a result, instead of appearing to pant out his last words, he appears to have a long, firm sausage-shaped object on his back that jiggles up and down like a wagged finger.
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