Michael Jackson/WMG

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Michael Jackson told the truth about his surgery

It's unfortunate that the "established truth" is that he lied. His face really never changed that much. If you look at those "many faces of MJ" videos each picture shows him making a different face, in different lighting etc. His changing skin color is what primarily provides the optical illusion (other factors include his hair styles and his various eye brow trims).

• He possibly had botox.
• This [1] picture would tend to support this theory. Factor in that Jackson lost a lot of weight, especially after 1993, was addicted to drugs and had lupus, which is known to affect the skin, and you have an almost perfect explanation of why he changed so much over the years.
• It's never lupus...

Micheal Jackson "died" to save face

Notice how everyone immediately started to focus on Micheal Jackson being the King of Pop rather than the butt of molestation jokes?

Michael Jackson faked his own death

It was an attempt to invoke the Alas, Poor Scrappy effect, as well as to get out of the media's eye so he could molest children in secret.

• • Though you are entitled to your own opinion, the hoax death theory contradicts the child molestation accusations because of its based on the idea that we shouldn't trust the media. This beLIEving editor will argue that if Michael Jackson is indeed dead than it's more likely he's a child molester (as well as a drug addict, trans-racial, gender confused, homosexual and any other negative comment made by tabloids) than if he faked his death.

Ayatollah Khamenei and Mahmoud Ahemedinijad ordered the murder of Michael Jackson.

For two whole weeks, the Iranian establishment tried to impose a blackout on news going out of Iran and failed. Unable to shut down an Internet hive mind which regards censorship as damage and simply routes information around it, they saw no way to avoid having their brutal crackdowns splashed across Western front pages and cable news than to cause the death of a particularly beloved but trainwrecky celeb, causing the Western news outlets to black out all other news for days weeks. Nothing personal against Jacko; he just fit the bill.

• • The only problem with that theory is that Michael Jackson just wasn't that important outside the USA, and the USA is not the whole of the Western world! (Even as culturally American a country as New Zealand didn't ignore every other thing that happened when Michael Jackson died.
    • What? Michael Jackson was important everywhere in the world. European countries, for instance, broadcast nothing but tributes when he suddenly died.
• Dave Chapelle made a joke back in 2004 about how each of MJ's molestation accusations were conveniently placed around the time of similar conflicts. This makes this theory semi-plausible.

The leaders of London ordered him dead.

They saw his already-sold-out comeback "tour" and worried that there WOULD be imitators, other comebacks-by-doing-an-insane-number-of-shows-at-one-venue-in London. If that happened, the city's image would be transformed from a major world city at the cutting edge of music and arts into EuroBranson.

• Also, Michael Jackson once hurt Paul McCartney, who is a national treasure in the UK. Even if Paul understands, many of his supporters didn't. (For those who don't know, Paul suggested to Michael in the early 1980s that he look into acquiring song publishing rights, which are extremely lucrative for their holders. Michael perhaps took this too far when The Beatles' catalog went up for sale in 1985; he managed to put in a higher bid for it than Paul did -- so Michael made millions over the decades off of those songs.)

Michael Jackson was assassinated by Chinese agents

The resulting news blitz took Western media attention away from the protests and deaths in Western China.

Michael Jackson was a victim of foul play.

Sudden cardiac arrest? Sounds awfully familiar...

• Apparently the clause saying you have to be able to visualise his face works for the face he wasn't born with.

MICHAEL ISN'T DEAD!

What? Somebody had to say it.

• The scary thing is, of all celebrities rumored to have faked their deaths, his death being faked is awfully plausible, considering his mental issues and his vast wealth and means to pull it off. "Sightings" of him are going to skyrocket now.
  • To make this even more plausible, think of how easy it would be to create a mock-up of his head. Considering all of the plastic surgery he had done, he may have been planning this for years. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! You have no idea.

Michael Jackson is going to jump out of the casket during his memorial service and sing "Thriller".

• Sadly, Jossed.

He committed suicide.

There was a recent story about his having cancer. Could it be that the cancer was incurable, and he decided to end his own life rather than waste away?

• CNN said that a source reported that he injected himself with Demerol before he collapsed. Quote CNN.
• It was his doctor who injected him with the Demerol.
• This theory may pan out. He was DYING. Information is coming out that shows that his death wasn't just out of the blue; he was dangerously underweight, occasionally too weak to speak, and on enough medication (legal or otherwise) to stun an elephant.
  • Except, according to the official autopsy report, he wasn't dangerously underweight (just a few pounds, actually), the "too weak to speak" thing is usually debunked by those who knew him best, and we're still not sure about the medication.

Publicity Stunt

His death is suspiciously close to his planned concert series in July, which was sold out already. The theory goes that a revised 'tribute' concert featuring many different artists will be held, and those who had already bought tickets for his tour can attend this benefit concert instead with the same tickets. So, at the concert, a figure assumed to be a dummy or animatronic puppet will appear as a Zombie from his Thriller music video. Then, the puppet will get up and start the Thriller dance. Then it will be revealed that he's alive. It'll create one of the biggest, wildest, most talked-about events for decades to come, solidifying his status as the King of Pop forever.

• In the meanwhile, he'll take a surgery to restore his nose and skin color. He will hide in an oxygen chamber, which is why he eventually denied sleeping in one. No one will search for him there!
• This will be so cool if it happens.
  • Jossed, sadly. He's not coming back. Ever.
    • Even if he is alive...

Michael Jackson planned to finally perform onstage with Weird Al Yankovic on the last of the This Is It concerts.

But then he died...

Michael Jackson bleached his skin because he had vitiligo.

According to Michael Jackson, he was first diagnosed with vitiligo in 1986. If we assume that he was telling the truth, then we have to account for why he seemed to gradually become paler and paler over the next five to six years until he was basically white, rather than just getting more and more pale patches as the melanin disappeared. So here's the WMG theory: rather than going around with patchy skin or covering the pale patches with dark makeup every day, he bleached his unaffected skin to "even it out".

• Seemingly confirmed if what his dermatologist says can be believed.

Someone wrote Jackson's name in the Death Note.

It makes so much sense.

• Rule of Three? Did Kira have something against Billy Mays?
  • Kira has something against the "Rule Of Three," since Billy Mays makes four in one week and five in one month.
  • It was Paul McCartney
    • It was Ringo. No, not that Ringo. Or that one. Or Rango

Michael Jackson was framed for money.

It was obvious that Evan Chandler nursed a personal grudge against Michael Jackson for taking his son Jordan's attention away from him. In addition, accusations of child sexual abuse are easy villainy points to pin and difficult to defend against; and, if you are found guilty, you are effectively punished forever. His quotes lend credence to this.

Michael Jackson was an innovative person.

He did a lot in terms of music videos and how to perform on stage; regardless of what you think of him, he was an innovator. Innovator, hmmmm...OH CRAP! MICHAEL JACKSON WAS AN INNOVATOR! It all makes sense now!

Michael Jackson was Karl Kroenen.

It's all spelled out in the first movie's artbook: A beautiful child with nearly divine singing talent and loads of curly hair who went through an awkward adolescence and developed a strange, self-destructive surgical addiction, which just about cost him his face, which would have been perfectly fine if he left it alone. He liked to dress in dazzling military academy/marching band style with armbands, and he was always disguised and masked in public to protect himself from germs and being noticed. (The last part didn't work). He surrounded himself with only like-minded people, and he seemed to have an unhealthy fixation on children. And then there's this outfit (bottom of page) from the HIStory tour.

Michael finally got his wish to be one of the Men in Black.

He is now Agent M, happily saving the universe and zapping people with the memory wiping thingy. Woe betide whoever has to "babysit" him.

Now, if you'll just direct your attention to the device in my hand...

Michael Jackson returned to his home planet.

• Just like Elvis.

Michael Jackson is a lich...

Made of dog shit. He died during his time with the Jackson Five as a child; but his father still needed him for the cash printing machine, and so he made him into a dog shit lich with dark magic.

This explains why he got paler as he got older and why he used sperm donors to conceive his children. Also, his father looks like he's suffering wear and tear from years of using evil magic.

• The Onion had a similar theory.

Michael Jackson was a castrato

Can't take credit for this one- it was on a friend's journal.

If true, it would explain so many things:

1. The high voice.
2. His kids are white, meaning they may not be his kids.
3. The child-loving thing could have been a totally innocent need to "mother" from hormonal issues - not anything sexual.
4. The psychological issues in general - hell, in this day and age, even people who HAVE their balls are issue-ridden.
5. His alleged quest to become a white woman...well, that just kinda seals the deal.

Jossed: one of his sons shows signs of vitiligo, he was able to grow facial hair, and the coroner reported that he was producing sperm.

• One or two people from Jackson's inner circle have claimed that the wispy high voice was not his actual voice (which was considerably deeper), but an affectation he cultivated due to not liking how it sounded after he hit puberty.
  • You can hear his so-called "actual" voice in (for example) This Is It when he's talking about his uncomfortable earpiece -- and the truth is it's still naturally high, but not atypically so.
  • His music also shows that he could really take it into the deep end if he wanted to, though he rarely often did it in any of his songs. Two good examples would be "Burn This Disco Out" from Off The Wall and "2000 Watts" from Invincible.
• At one point in This Is It you can clearly see him with a five-o'clock shadow.

Michael Jackson Came Back Wrong

There was more to the famous Pepsi commercial incident than we knew. An infamously bad biopic depicted the incident as Jackson's hair catching on fire from a pyrotechnic and then falling down a flight of stairs off the stage. It's entirely possible that that's exactly how it happened. Perhaps he hit his head badly and was rushed to the hospital in secret, but not in time to save him. But he came back anyway... only it wasn't he.

Something else was in Michael's body. That something else twisted and deformed him, physically and mentally, over time. Finally, too warped to function, the demon released Michael's body in 2009, allowing him to be at peace at last.

• This theory alternatively gives me the wibblies and needs to be made into a Real Person Fanfic.
• An Onion article supports this. It said that the body of the real Michael was found in Neverland Ranch; the child rapist look-a-like was heavily hinted to be demon or something of that nature.

Michael Jackson's soul was put into a prototype EVA.

And the angels won't be able to resist the urge to dance.

Michael Jackson transformed into a giant robot ala Moonwalker and flew to Pluto so that he could join Elvis Presly, Paul, George, and all of the John Lennon clones at an intergalatic pub, playing music for various space aliens

• That is, until the party gets broken up by Dr. McNinja....
• Can you say 'great gig in the sky' or what?
• You forgot Paul's still alive and performed yesterday at Brazil.

Michael Jackson is a Timelord

He had many faces and his last incarnation fall slowly apart just like the Master's 13th body.

Michael Jacksons death revealed the more bitter morals of celebrity life.

With all the stereotypical issues with most Celebrity lives, Michael Jackson's skid-to-death decline sticks out as a moral enigma. Everybody prior to his death either honored him but a majority, like the entire American population had made him the butt end to every pedophile joke. To add insult to injury the majority of the U.S. only honored him after his death. This is sort of a fucked up bit of truth because no one had ever held a show commemorating any other celebrities like that before. Billy Mays would have had the same sort of event to remember him. Honestly the broken moral here is- "If you cannot like them alive, honor them when they are dead".

• There is a saying that has been traced all the way back to biblical times. In its modern English phrasing, "never speak ill of the dead". For some reason, people take it more seriously with celebrities than the do with family members or politicians.
• It could also be that at the time of his death, no kiddie porn was found. Just a whole bunch of drugs. While the man did have some problems, pedophilia was not one of them.
  • This was actually known years before from the trial. The investigators who tore apart his home searching for evidence of his alleged crimes entered Jackson's entire Porn Stash into court evidence for the trial. What did that stash consist of? Run of the mill heterosexual porn, mostly Playboys and Hustlers. Besides making Jackson appear more normal to the jury, the defense was even able to further use it against the prosecution by getting the accuser to point out which magazine he claimed Jackson showed him. After positively identifying a particular magazine (multiple times, the lawyer asked repeatedly to absolutely confirm it was the one), it was revealed that the publication date, right on the very cover, was months past the last time the accuser ever visited Jackson.

Michael Jackson was kidnapped by True Fae and his "death" was really the death of his Fetch.

After the infamous Pepsi fire, Michael was spirited away to Arcadia where he performed for a bratty pre-teen who forced him to perform for his friends in Arcadia. Meanwhile, a sloppily made Fetch was left in his place that slowly decayed (plastic surgeries, lightening of the skin) and became obsessed with Peter Pan because the Michael in Arcadia wasn't aging. The fetch lamented its own existence which drove it to self destructive behavior. It all hit a boiling point last summer when Michael poisoned his Keeper and Moonwalked his way out of Arcadia right in front of his Fetch who had a heart attack and died. Michael now reigns as the Spring King of Los Angeles and holds private performances for his Changeling subjects. His new material is undoubtedly some of the best music ever written but it pains him that he'll never be able to share it with the fans who stuck by him, even through his fetch's bouts of insanity.

Michael Jackson had magically abilities

Back in the 80's even women seemed to be enchanted by his singing, he must have had magical powers like a genie or he might have been a shapeshifter (no not the 'reptilian' kind), possibly had similar powers to his character in Ghosts or was some sort of magical being.