Mister Seahorse/Quotes

Doc: How do I say this, your friend is...
Church: Why are you pausing? Caboose is not gonna interrupt you this time.

Doc: No, that was just for dramatic effect. He's pregnant.

Caboose: Oh, good... Wait, what?

O'Malley: Hmhmhmhmhm, preggers, muahaha!

Church: All right, are we paying for this service? Because, if we are, I want a refund. And if we're not, I want a refund anyway.

—Red vs. Blue, Episode 76

Dave: I mean, Helen's something special. I've fallen for women before, but never like this. I look at her, and I see myself spending my life with her... I see us growing old together... I see myself bearing her children...
Artie: Er, don't you mean you see her bearing your--

Dave: No, I'm trying to be realistic about this.

—Narbonic

Greg: When I got home that night,
Colin: My ovaries did swell,
Ryan: I puffed up like Jiffy-Pop

Wayne: ...I'm a dude! What the hell!

—Whose Line Is It Anyway??, the "Got Pregnant on a Date" Irish Drinking Song

"I was watching Animal Planet, did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? And I was thinking, 'Why don't they just call that the female seahorse?' You know it's just some stubborn scientist:
'Yeah, that one there's the male seahorse.'
'Uh, Bill, that one's having a baby.'

'...the male has the baby. You're fired.'"

—Jim Gaffigan

"Well, there's good news -- you've had a baby; the bad news is, it's blown your cock off!"

—Frankie Boyle, Mock the Week.

Frylock: Meatwad, you cannot possibly be pregnant!
Meatwad: Why not?
Frylock: Because you're a... you're... you're a... ...damn it, you're a male!

Meatwad: Really? Awesome! I always wanted a gender!

—"Gee Whiz", Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Stan: I want to have babies.
Reg: You want to have babies?!?!
Stan: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
Reg: But ... you can't HAVE babies!
Stan: Don't you oppress me!

Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb! Where's the fetus gonna gestate? You gonna keep it in a box?

—Monty Python's Life of Brian

M-Preg: Since there exists no fanfic genre of ‘M-PMT’ or ‘M-bloody awful period pain’, this is one outlet to make your characters get all the suffering of being female with none of the benefits. Bwahahaahahaa!

—Bag Enders, The Horrifically Honest Guide to Fanfiction Terms

"I am Kirk and Spock's illegitimate butt baby. ... Kock."

—Andy Dick

Neil: But that's impossible!

Vyvyan: Yeah, that's what she said! You just can't trust women, can you?

—The Young Ones