Multiple Choice Past/Quotes

"I took a look at my thoughts, my appearance, my expressions, my mannerisms and idiosyncracies and didn't like them. So I stripped myself down, chucked things out and replaced them with a completely new personality. When I heard someone say something intelligent, I used it later as if it were my own. When I saw a quaility in someone that I liked, I took it. I still do that."

—The Thin White Duke

I mean, what is it with you? What made you what you are? Girlfriend killed by the mob, maybe? Brother carved up by some mugger? Something like that, I bet...something like that. Something like that...happened to me, you know. I'm - not exactly sure what it was. If I'm going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice!

—The Joker to Batman, The Killing Joke

"Okay, so there's this comic who can't make an audience laugh... I think that's how this one goes, I forget sometimes... Oh, you've heard that one? All right. Ah, I can't keep 'em straight. How about the one where a mob killer named Napier comes to Gotham and-- No, wait, you're too young for that one. I know. This one always works. So a small-time yutz in a Red Hood walks into a factory, right? He's there to steal the payroll..."

—The Joker in The Origin of The Joker

Hugo Strange: I have read twelve different accounts of your past. All different, except for one detail: Batman.

Joker: What can I say? I like to keep things interesting. A wise man once told me that if you have to have an origin story, you're better off making it multiple choice.

—Batman: Arkham City

J.D: No. No more! Here are some of the lies you've told us over the last five years. "You went to Harvard." "You have a wife who only has a pointer and "thumb-pinky"." "You have a, a "brother-dad", a "mother-sister"?" "You have two kids, no, wait, you have one kid, no, you had a baby with a Chinese local!" "You're a deaf mute!" Oh, wait, now you're telling us that you're a world-class hurdler and you slept with the beautiful and irreplacable Amy Carter?
Janitor: I-I didn't sleep with Amy Carter. We did everything but.
J.D: (groans)

Janitor: And I really was a world-class hurdler.

—Scrubs

Bashir: You know, I still have a lot of questions to ask you about the past.
Garak: I've given you all the answers I'm capable of.
Bashir: You've given me answers, alright, but they were all different. What I want to know is, out of all the stories you've told me, which ones were true and which ones weren't?
Garak: My dear Doctor, they're all true.
Bashir: Even the lies?

Garak: Especially the lies.

—Star Trek Deep Space Nine, "The Wire"

Pinkie Pie: *after supposedly telling the story of how she got her cutie mark* And that's how Equestria was made!... Maybe on the way home, I can tell you the story of how I got my cutie mark. It's a gem!

—My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic, "The Cutie-Mark Chronicles"