Mystery Science Theater 3000/Recap/S05/E03 Swamp Diamonds

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


Films watched: What To Do On A Date (short) and Swamp Women aka Swamp Diamonds

Joel and the bots were less than impressed with Connors' pseudonym "Touch", which was his nickname when he played NCAA basketball.

What To Do On A Date is a 1950s educational short which attempted to teach... socially awkward teens of the time activites they could invite girls on dates to: exciting events like swim meets, weenie roasts and "scavenger sales".

The Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment of Swamp Diamonds provides examples of:

Thrust, Jab, Fudge, Crunch, Blast, Smidge, Shout, Batch, Scrod, Flake, Wink, Sploot, Pinch, Probe, Wing, Snake, Jab [again?], Grunt, Flink, Branch, Snake [again!] Pitch, Pat, Hal, Snake [yet AGAIN!], Snack, Slap

Vera: Nice kid! Sell her man right down the river!
Servo (in bad Jersey accent): Yeah, some women have no class!

  • Take That: The Andrew Lloyd Weber [sic] grill, useful for burning Mr. Webber's scores.

The Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment of What To Do On A Date provides examples of:


"Sssshhhut up!"