Naruto Veangance Revelaitons/Characters

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


A list of characters in Naruto Veangance Revelaitons.

Note: While this is a Self-Insert Fic and the author frequently complains about his life in the author's notes (sometimes letting it influence the story), a real life section would be just asking for a Flame War.

Team 7

Ronan Beelzub (Beelzebub?)

The main character, who recently moved to the village of Konohagakure. From there, he proceeds to dominate the story, having sex with many female characters and becoming King of the ninjas.

  • Always Save the Girl: Takes this to its natural conclusion when helping the council so that Sakura and Atni will be spared.
  • Anti-Hero: Type IV or V
  • Author Avatar: To the point where characters sometimes refer to him by the author's first name
  • Ascend to a Higher Plane of Existence: To have sex with Sakura for all eternity.
  • Bastard Boyfriend: Repeatedly throws around terms such as "bitch," "slut," "whore" and "cunt" toward the women he has sex with, abuses them and considers them (except for Sakura) expendable.
  • Berserk Button: Anything Jake doesn't like.
  • Bigger Is Better in Bed: Has a penis that is anywhere from two to 45' feet long. (Granted, the latter is supposedly a typographical error, but Jake's correction indicates that Ronan's penis is the ridiculously large four feet long).
  • Boring Invincible Hero: The only questionable part is the "hero".
  • Breath Weapon: His Blue-Eyes White Dragon form can breathe fire.
  • But Now I Must Go: Leaves the world to Ekaj and Atni.
  • The Chosen One: First to defeat Orochimaru, and later to destroy the world.
  • A Date with Rosie Palms: Ronan masturbates to a picture of Sakura during the search for her, angering Sasuke. He later masturbates to Sakura getting raped by Taliana.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: Hands down death sentences for liking modern music, but commutes them to life imprisonment because the author had some complaints.
  • Dude, She's Like, in a Coma: Has sex with Sakura when she's unconscious after the first time he rescues herand later when she's in a coma
  • Easily Forgiven: Gets off without consequences for virtually everything, but after killing Mandy, Sakura asks why, and immediately understands after he says he loves her and Taliana more.
  • Establishing Character Moment: Within the narration, comparing his hair to Justin Bieber before going off on a tangent about how much he and modern music suck. In the story, curb-stomping Orochimaru when all of Team 7 fails
  • Even Evil Has Standards: His refusal to allow the Council to kill homosexuals despite not liking gay men comes off as this.
  • Eye Beams
  • Eye Scream: Does this to the Council, taking out both the blonde-haired woman and gray-haired man's eyes, then takes out one of the brown-haired woman and red-haired man's eyes.
  • Fake Defector: Joins the Council to prevent Sakura, Atni and Ekaj from being killed, but isn't able to prevent the end of the world
  • Get a Hold of Yourself, Man!: Does this to Sakura, Atni and Ekaj when they become hysterical over his plan to serve as a Fake Defector, but this comes off as closer to physical abuse than most examples of the trope.
  • Glowing Eyes: After joining the Council to help them destroy the world.
  • Groin Attack: Launches one on Madara but avoids hitting him in the balls because he doesn't want to be seen as a homosexual.
    • Inverted when he uses his penis to make a Megaton Punch against Taliana.
  • Heroes Prefer Swords: Has a katana with his name on it, and later gets the Sword of Ukijamaya.
  • Hollywood Atheist
  • Idiot Hero
  • Instant Awesome, Just Add Dragons: His jutsus often involve dragons
  • Informed Ability: He's said to be a great musician, but the parts of his songs that are shown are (for lack of a better word) terrible.

"YEAH YEAH GIRL WAN FUCK U HRD TIGHT LITTLE PUSSY MY DICKS HARD!"

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH MY DICK IS LIKE A BIG FAT ROCKET AND UR PUSSYS LIKE A HOLE AND I FUCK U HARD AND IV GOT A HUGE POLE"

"FICKING SLUT U UGLY WHORE U HURT MY HEART U FUCKING BITCH JUST DIE!Q"

"FUCK YEAH SUCK MY DICK FUCKING WHORE MMM MMM YEAH I WANT MORE!"

Naruto

The former main character of the series, who spends much of his time whining about how Ronan is better than he is. This leads him to commit suicide, and eventually come back as a villain, only to be defeated by Ronan.

  • Crazy Jealous Guy: Angry about Ronan getting together with his "GF", Sakura along with him being better than him in several other regards.
  • Demoted to Extra
  • Disney Villain Death: Both his suicide and his actual death
  • Driven by Envy: Of Ronan.
  • Driven to Suicide He gets better
  • Even Evil Has Standards: He's angry enough with Ronan to punch him and make death threats against him, but he's unwilling to let Sakura cheat on Ronan with him, and after he does it, commits suicide partly out of shame.
  • Face Heel Turn
  • Fallen Hero: The Wave Country arc is referenced in this fic, along with some of the heroic deeds Naruto did before turning evil.
  • Humongous Mecha: He uses this against Ronan
  • Unexplained Recovery: Three times; the temple bombing, his suicide and his defeat by Ronan in Benji's ending.
  • Ungrateful Bastard: Supposedly, as he attacks Ronan and kidnaps Sakura after Ronan claims that he saved him after he committed suicide, except this never actually happened; Ronan let him die and didn't care.

Sakura

Ronan's girlfriend and eventual wife. She goes along with everything he does, no matter how much she suffers as a result. She has been reduced from a (arguably) competent fighter to someone who can't get up by herself if she falls. She is also the mother of Mandy and Nanor/Ekaj, and Taliana was cloned from her.

"You. You stole my virginity. You abused me. You made me do the most vile sex acts imaginable. You made me compliant to crimes against humanity. At this point, I don't even know what of that was the Genjutsu and what was reality, but regardless, I only have one real response to your declaration of 'i luv u': FUCK. YOU!"

  • Shallow Love Interest
  • Tears of Joy: After reuniting with her friends in Benji's ending.
  • Teen Pregnancy:
    • Had Mandy as a teenager.
    • In Chapter 59, she tells Ronan that she's pregnant again thinks it's Naruto's child this time.
  • Unstoppable Rage: Chapter 32
  • Your Cheating Heart: Cheats on Ronan in Chapter 22 out of a need to have sex.
    • Sympathetic Adulterer. Possibly. She cheats merely out of a desire for sex, yet the disproportionate (albeit self-inflicted) punishment she underwent, the hypocrisy in Ronan casting blame on her and Ronan's unlikeability can paint her as this.

Sasuke

Part of Team 7. He is apparently killed when the temple explodes, but survived and was brainwashed by the Kibusi Corporation.

  • Asexual: Mentioned to be as such, to which Ronan responds with:

"wtf??? how can u b asexu???? al guys liv sex DUH! mosg irls 2 i bet u jst need 2 fuk som1 then ull b good"

Kakashi

Part of Team 7. He is apparently killed when the temple explodes but comes back as Ronan's sidekick, only to be killed again in the tournament.


Ronan's Harem

Sakura

See Team 7

Mandy Waterfall

Ronan and Sakura's daughter/clone, who grows up almost instantly and becomes one of the girls he has sex with.

Da cooger/Fiona

An older woman (hence her title) Ronan rescues from Orochimaru after taking shelter with her. She eventually gets killed by Madara, but comes back in spirit form to help Ronan.

  • Deader Than Dead: She apparently dies after Ronan pulled her out of Madara's throat in Chapter 49. Despite that she was already dead at first. She then apparently dies yet again when sacrificing herself to resurrect Ronan in Chapter 66.
  • Heroic Sacrifice Chapter 67.
  • Horrifying the Horror: For a ghost head, she gets easily scared of anything.
  • I'm Cold... So Cold...: As she is dying a second time.
  • Intimate Healing: Can heal Ronan from otherwise fatal injuries and even revive him by sucking his penis.
  • Killed Off for Real: Twice in Chapters 7 and 49. She appears again in Chapter 58 after she saves Ronan to tell him that she's gone for good but will make cameos to deliver a prophecy, and sacrifices herself in Chapter 66 to save Ronan.
  • Just Desserts: Eaten by Madara as part of her second death; Ronan pulls her out but she still dies.
  • Ms. Exposition: Provides exposition about the prophecy.
  • No Name Given: "da cooger" is initially a term to refer to her, then seemingly becomes her name. However, she is referred to as "Fiona" in Chapter 34. Fiona was actually first mentioned in Chapter 7, but nobody would have guessed that was Da Cooger's real name due to a confusing POV switch and assumed Fiona was a different woman who was randomly thrown in.
  • Off With Her head
  • Rule of Three: Her third death is final, although it could be more the result of happening three chapters from the end of the story.
  • Satellite Character: Basically the head that comes out of Sakura's body, and someone who helps Ronan by healing him and giving him advice.
  • Spirit Advisor: Usually coming out as a spirit head or out of Sakura's body.

Taliana

A girl who is described as an evil clone of Sakura, who turns out to be Ronan's mother. Ronan has sex with her, and briefly marries her, but after several cases of switching sides, she seemingly permanently settles on the side of evil until her death in Chapter 33, at the hands of her former lover Ronan.

The Leather Pussies

A group of 160 catgirls under Madara's command who are persuaded to defect to Ronan's side when he gives them an orgasm and enables them to break free from Madara's control.

Mei

The Fifth Mizukage. She's brainwashed by the Kibusi Corporation, but Ronan defeats and has sex with her.

Atni

A female contestant that appears at the tournament in Chapter 50. She later becomes part of his harem and has sex with Ronan's son Nanor/Ekaj.

"hey ur hot i tink i luv u wanne be LAVAS?" (XD LMAO DO U GUYS GET DAT? BECUS TEY JST HAD DAT CHALENGE WIT TEH LAVA ?)

Antagonists

Orochimaru

The initial main antagonist. Little else is known about him.

  • Bus Crash: The first time he's mentioned after his last fight against Ronan, it's revealed that Sasuke has absorbed him.
  • Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Fades from the plot in the middle of one of his evil schemes, and only comes up when his name is mistakenly used in Madara's place, and when it is mentioned that Sasuke absorbed his form.
  • Reptiles Are Abhorrent
  • Scaled Up: The only description of him is as a giant snake. It's unclear whether this is based off of his true form in the manga.
  • Villain Exit Stage Left: Often retreats just as Ronan gains the upper hand.
  • The Worf Effect: Defeats all of Team 7 in their first battle with him, which isn't too much of a deviation from canon, but then Ronan curb stomps him to establish himself as more powerful than him or all of Team 7 combined.

Madara

Orochimaru's replacement as main antagonist.

The Council / The Illuminati

Three (later retconned to two) men and two women who are in charge of the antagonists.

Brown Haired Woman: "THIS! MEANS! WARRRRRRRRR!"

  • Vampire Vords: The German Woman, despite being... well, German, and not Hungarian or Eastern European as is usual for the trope.
  • Villainous Breakdown: Chapter 67 after Ronan's resurrection.
  • Villains Want Mercy: They beg for their lives once Ronan corners them. The women are willing to be Ronan's sex slaves and the men are willing to be his household servants, but neither will convert to atheism and "logicalness", and are killed for it.
  • Weaksauce Weakness: Atheistic videos that are too "logical".
  • You Have Failed Me...: Kills the president of the Kibusi Corporation, gives Madara a horrifying punishment and drops Taliana down a trap door.

President of the Kibusi Corporation

The president of a corporation that exists in this version of the Narutoverse. He tries to set a trap for Ronan in the "Sibone" theater, but it fails. He is killed for this failure, and then replaced by a second president, who is later on killed by Ronan after not being of use to the council anymore.

The President

The President of the United States, who works to advance the "evil capitalist agenda". It's unknown if this president is actually Barack Obama, or simply a fictional stand-in President.

The Seven Swordsmen of the Mist

In this version, these swordsmen serve the President of the Kibusi Corporation, who has brainwashed them and forced them to convert to Christianity. The only named members are Kisame, Raiga and Zabuza.


Other Characters

Edfred

He's a shopkeeper who doesn't like Ronan.

Tadashiharakumaie

An original character based off of the author's real life friend, Danny.

Nanor/Ekaj

Somehow has Ronan and Naruto as his fathers, and Sakura as his mother.

Bob

The (temporary) Host of The Hineki Kojiyoshai Show ("Hineki Kojiyoshai" supposedly meaning "DNA Tests For Whores" in Japanese, according to the narrative). Only appears in one chapter, Chapter 60.

  • AcCENT Upon the Wrong SylLABle: Surprisingly. Even more surprising that Jake was able to properly write as such.
  • Agony of the Feet: One of the variants. When Ronan finds out he's only part the father of Ekaj, he kicks Bob in the legs out of anger.
  • Artistic License Biology: His explanation for how both Ronan and Naruto (though mostly Ronan) are Ekaj's father throws even the most rudimentary laws of biology out the window.
  • Butt Monkey: For the short time that he appears, he is subject to quite a bit of abuse from Ronan. Not that it's out of character for Ronan to do such, but still.
  • Expy: Seems to be a rather bizarre one of Maury Povich from Maury. Also may be one of Torgo.
  • Guest Host: Apparently, he's just filling in for the usual host.
  • One Chapter Wonder
  • Scary Shiny Glasses: Somewhat subverted. While it is mentioned that Bob's glasses are very shiny, he is never shown to be evil or bad in any way.

Muskoka

Edfred's boyfriend - he appears in Chapter 31, and Benji's ending.

"MY BOYFRIEND IS NOT HOMOSEXUAL LIKE MYSELF, BUT RATHER BISEXUAL."

  • But Not Too Bi: Only ever displays an attraction to men, but this may be due to the relatively short time in which we see him.
  • Genius Bruiser/Heroic Build: Is described as "big nd muscley" by Ronan, and he appears to be quite intelligent, like Edfred.
  • Mary Sue Hunter
  • No Bisexuals: Ronan tries to apply this to him.
  • Not Worth Killing: In Chapter 31, Ronan sets up a force field so he can leave without having to fight him and Edfred, not wanting to humiliate them by defeating them.
  • Straight Bi
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