Nice Hat/Quotes

"Luke, this hat only comes off for very special occasions. That is all I'm willing to say on the matter."

—Professor Layton

The Shaper, a nearly five-billion-year-old former godlike being that everyone calls Emily: "'Elementary, my dear colonel. When every sensible explanation has been disproved, then whatever remains, however silly, must be the truth. And the truth is that the British Empire stands on the brink of invasion by highly intelligent hats from the future!"

—Starcross. It Makes Sense in Context, but YMMV on just how much.

Minsk: Und any plan vere hyu lose hyu hat iz?
Gorb: A bad plan?
Minsk: Right again!

—Girl Genius

You see a person wearing a distinctive hat pushing through the crowd. It's a witch hunter's hat.
Roll Save versus Fear.

—Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay

A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything.

—Wash, Firefly, about Jayne's cunning hat

Pen: That's stupid!
The Ice King: Your hat is stupid!

Pen: MY HAT! IS! AWESOME!

—Adventure Time

Never wear a hat that has more character than you do.

—Michael Harris, hatmaker

Hey, Herby/Where'd you get the derby/Where'd you get a hat like that/If I told you why would you tell me where/I could find a hat like that.

—Roger Miller, "The Hat"

Never pass up an opportunity to draw characters in amusing hats.

—Shaennon K. Garrity, Narbonic: Director's Cut

In true Western tradition, your level of badassness is dictated by the size of your hat: Ray and Thomas both wear big hats and therefore eat danger and shit bullets, Wee-Um doesn't get a hat so the best he can hope for is to eat Weetabix and shit healthily.

—Yahtzee Croshaw, on the protagonists of Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood.

The Prussian military. You can tell these guys are serious because of their hats.

—Badass of the Week, on Baron Frederick von der Trenck

UVANOV'S HAT. UVANOV'S. MOTHERFUCKING. HAT. Best hat in Doctor Who ever. Possibly the best hat in everything ever. I FUCKING LOVE IT. I genuinely do. It's gorgeous. It's like an unfurling flower and like some sort of alien priest's mitre. THIS HAT SHOULD HAVE ITS OWN SPINOFF.

—Snowgrouse on Unanov's hat from "the Robots of Death"

"And what is this religious fascination with head gear? Every religion's got a different fucking hat! Did you ever notice that? The Hindus have a turban, the Sikhs have a tall white turban, Jews have the yarmulke, the Muslims have the keffiyeh, the bishop has a pointy hat on one end and round on the other end, cardinal has a red hat, pope has... Everybody's got a fucking hat! One group takes them off, the other group puts them on!"

—George Carlin, "It's Bad For Ya"

Throughout history, men have worn hats as a way of showing how much better they are than other men. "I buy hats," a behatted man seems to say. "I am better than you."
In wartime, hats were a useful way of conferring rank, and ensuring that casualties were confined to the lower classes (hence the famous command of "Don't fire till you see the tops of their heads" at the Battle of Bunker Hill by William Prescott, a general renowned for only shooting enemy combatants who were poor). During peacetime, hats have been instrumental for men to let the non-hatted know just who is wearing the hat around here.
And that’s the entire history of hats. The history you were spoon fed at school, that is, in your government-run hat class. But here’s a little truth bomb your teachers, pastors and ombudsmen of your regional newspapers DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW: Team Fortress now has MORE hats. We hope this didn’t blow your mind out of the top of your head, since you’ll need a place to put all these cool new hats.

—Team Fortress 2, The Classless Update

I wish I'd had a few more days to come up with funnier future administration highlights, but you go with your best idea at deadline and say fuck it. The final drawing of Bill is all that really matters, anyway. It was when I gave him that fucked-up hat that I knew the cartoon was a success.

—The Pain - When Will It End?, artist's statement on "Presidential Timeline"

Near the shores of the Circle Sea, in the ancient sprawling city of Ankh-Morpork, on a velvet cushion on a ledge high up in the Unseen University, was a hat.

It was a good hat. It was a magnificent hat.

—Sourcery

"It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool."

—The Eleventh Doctor, Doctor Who

"Talk about near-disasters! Today's the junior-class photo... Imagine me without my trademark hat!"

—Peter Fox

"...Not to mention that hat. I want it."

—The Nostalgia Chick, on Carmen Sandiego's look.

That's apparently how the Catholic church is run. The bigger the hat, the more important the guy, right? Priests have no hats, cardinals have those little red beanies, the pope has a collection of big hats...God must have a huge fucking sombrero up there in heaven! "Look at me, I'm GOD! Look at the size of my hat, who else would I be?" I don't know, the lead singer of Los Lobos?

—Denis Leary, Lock 'n load

"Subdue the duck with the great hat!"

—Robot Mook, Duck Dodgers

"Nice hat. What are you trying to look like, a secret agent?"

—Dennis Nedry, Jurassic Park

I think it's clear by now that the Ace Attorney designers are all about accessorizing, and Angel wins that competition hands down. That is quite possibly the single greatest hat in video game history.

—Chris Sims, "ComicsAlliance Takes On the Fashions of 'Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney'"

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