Nintendo Hard/Quotes
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"And that's for lulling me into great side-scrollers that are nearly impossible to beat!"
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"...Like playing Operation, but with a bunch of shit flying around trying to kill you!"
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"In the old days, you didn't come back to a game again and again for anything as fancy as online multiplayer or user-created content. No, you came back because the games were freaking impossible."
—Bobby Ingram, "The 10 Most Irritatingly Impossible Old-School Video Games"
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"I mean, what's the point of playing if you can't win every time?"
—Jason Fox, FoxTrot
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Shigeru Miyamoto: There's something I've learned from making this new Mario title multiplayer. |
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Gamer: You're breaking my balls Mario!. |
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"In all fairness, the 'real' Super Mario Brothers 2 wasn't much of a loss at all: it's like the Nintendo execs gathered in their board room in '87 and said, 'All right. We've just put out the biggest and best video game ever. Now we must get to work on the sequel, which naturally must use the same engine and graphics as the first game and be as maddeningly difficult and frustrating as our programmers' ones and zeros can allow. IT IS THE ONLY WAY.' Enter poison mushrooms, backwards warp zones, and Piranha Plants that don't play by Piranha Plant rules. I'll take a doctored Doki Doki Panic almost any day."
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"This is wussy compared to older games."
—The King of All Cosmos, commenting on Me And My Katamari
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"This mode is difficult!"
—Announcer in DDRMAX through Dance Dance Revolution SuperNOVA 2, on selecting the Harder Than Hard Challenge mode
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"Please have fun playing Mega Man 9, and when you inevitably ponder why this game is so freaking hard, please remember that Inafune-san has a decanter on his desk full of broken gamer spirits that keeps him perpetually youthful."
—Press release for Mega Man 9
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"...you're angry and you want to win. You wanna beat the Nintendo. But the cold fact is that nobody cares but you."
—The Angry Video Game Nerd on The Karate Kid for NES, hence the name Nintendo Hard.
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"....what's the point of making a game if you...can't even...win it...so stupid...wanna see what my dad has?"
—Evan, Superbad
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"The alternate title could be "DEMONICCHOCOBO MAKES THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE. REPEATEDLY."" —Demonic Chocobo on I Wanna Be The Fraxy
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"[The Adventures Of Bayou Billy is] not the shittiest game in the world - but what it is is the most nipple-twisting, nut-aching, hair-pulling, ulcer-causing, butt-itching, frustrating motherfucker of a game you ever saw. Now, The Adventures Of Bayou Billy is, as I said, a frustrating game, but what many people don't know is that it's also the hardest game ever made. Now, I know some people will come forward and tell you that the Gradius games or Ghosts N Goblins, they're a real challenge, and they don't know what they're talking about because I fucking guarantee you that nobody has beaten The Adventures Of Bayou Billy fairly. I mean, not without some kind of emulator or Game Genie or divine intervention - this game is fucking HARD."
—Noah 'The Spoony One' Antwiler on The Adventures Of Bayou Billy
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Most (normal) games will ease you into the game mechanics at least a little bit, and the ones that present difficult situations earlier have a "steeper" learning curve. Dwarf Fortress pretty much punches you in the nuts with the learning curve and steals your lunch money. —gameprey, at reddit.com
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Losing is fun!
—The official motto of Dwarf Fortress
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"I swear, these games were programmed by the Joker!"
—The Angry Video Game Nerd on various Batman games.
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What sick psychotic fuck playtested this and said "Yeah, you know what, dying all the time's alright, but I wish the game killed me more"?
—LordKat on Silver Surfer
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"Bowser-King Koopa has never had level designers of this quality!"
—The YouTube video "Super Mario Brothers-Frustration"
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Tell me, please, why does the GAME have to win? Huh? What happens when the game wins and I lose? Is there some huge fucking kegger waiting for it when it gets done? Is there money involved? Or perhaps the motives are more sinister. Maybe the game's family is being held hostage by another game and that game has it's cock in F-Zero's wife's mouth and he's holding a cell phone up to her and F-Zero can hear her pained moans and cries for help and the asshole game then says, "You beat that cock-sucking human, or I'll blow her brains out." I COULD UNDERSTAND THAT. I CAN BE SYMPATHETIC. |
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But, of all things, did you tell none other than Treasure to make it more difficult?
—Satoru Iwata, discussing Sin and Punishment 2
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FUCK!
—Many, many players
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You will not survive.
—Call of Duty: World at War difficulty selection screen, on Veteran Difficulty
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MIKE IS WAITING FOR YOUR CHALLENGE!!
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"To the true Ridge Racer who has cleared all 39 tours, we introduce these tours of maximum difficulty. The first MAX tour, “Opus 1,” is the ultimate 4-car battle of Class 1 machines. Only 1 in 200 is expected to clear this challenge. There are no prizes. Race for your honor!" (Opus 1)
—Description of the first MAX tour, Ridge Racers
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"[...] Only 1 in 300 is expected to clear this challenge. [...]" (Opus 2) —More MAX tour descriptions, Ridge Racers
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It's hard like the Devil's dick raping you in HELL!
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- Back to Nintendo Hard