On a Scale From One To Ten

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A character rates something on a scale from one to ten, often for comedic effect.

The results split into two types:

• Type A: An actual number. It's sometimes oddly specific or, more often, doesn't fit the scale (as in, more than ten or less than one).

• Type B: Not even a number, or left unanswered for rhetorical reasons.

See also Up to Eleven, which is named after an example this, Top Ten List, for other things from one to ten, and Broke the Rating Scale when the results don't fit the scale.

Examples of On a Scale From One To Ten include:

Examples of type A:

Film

• Aladdin:

Iago (as Jafar): No, really. On a scale of one to ten, you are an eleven.

• Serendipity:

"How drunk is he on a scale of one to ten?" "Twelve."

• The title of 10 is based on this trope. Bo Derek is a "10" on a scale of one to ten.
• Sarah Silverman once opened the MTV Movie Awards with a crack at 300.

"It's named after the rating for how gay it was on a scale of one to ten."

• The Devil's Advocate:

Milton: Well, on a scale of one to ten, ten being the most depraved act of sexual theater known to man and one being the usual Friday night run-through at the Lomax household, I'd say, not to be immodest, Mary Ann and I got it on to about... seven.

Live-Action TV

• Friends:

Chandler: Yes, on a scale from one to ten, ten being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely nineteen.

• Babylon 5:

"Mr. Garibaldi, on a scale of one to ten... just how stupid do you think I am?"

Music

• Usher's "Yeah" included the lyric:

"Cause on a one-to-ten she's a certified twenty"

Video Games

• From The Incredibles: Rise of the Underminer:

Frozone: On a Scale From One To Ten, how dangerous do you think it is to be in here? Mr. Incredible: Ehh... maybe three. Four tops. [A bunch of new Mecha-Mooks appear] Mr. Incredible: Make that six-and-a-half.

Web Original

• Things Mr. Welch Is No Longer Allowed to Do In An RPG remind us to always take a closer look at the scale itself:

"589. If my gun on a scale of 1-10 is a 7, it's vetoed if that's the Richter scale."

Web Comics

• Xkcd gives us this.
• In Exterminatus Now, Harold gives his invaluable strategical analysis.
• In this strip from El Goonish Shive, when Jerry hears discussion of teenagers experimenting with magical technology for fun:

Jerry: I don't have enough information to conclude how concerned I should be. One to ten it for me. Susan: Three. Her boyfriend knows what he's doing in his lab, and his dad's the former head of the local paranormal division of the government.

Western Animation

• In one episode of The Simpsons, Marge gets her bag stolen and refuses to leave her home. The family escort her outside, while she tells how much fear she feels, and after Homer angers a swarm of bees, she starts going going above ten.
• In Muppet Babies, when Kermit is selling a song to Piggy, who is playing a country singer.

"I don't know quite how to tell you this, Kermit, but on a scale of one to ten, that song was... minus twelve! It's horrible!!"

Examples of type B:

Comic Books

• Just before the Siege of Asgard:

Spider-Woman: How crazy is he [Norman Osborn] on a scale of one to ten? Spider-Man: Just until ten? Can't it be more?

Fan Works

• In a late chapter of the Harry Potter fic All According to Plan by LysandraLeigh, a manic Lyra Black (actually a Time Traveling 13-year-old Bellatrix Black) tells Hermione's parents about the wards she could place on their home, when:

"Is this legal?" Dad asked suddenly, probably clued in by the Somebody Else's Problem ward that something was amiss. Crooking an eyebrow, Lyra asked, "How much would it matter, on a scale of one to forget I ever said anything?" "One," Mum said, without missing a beat.

• The motorcycle belonging to Doug Sangnoir in the serial Mega Crossover Drunkard's Walk has some manner of active security system built into it to prevent its theft. Exactly what it does to would-be thieves and how powerful it is aren't exactly clear, but Doug has been known to describe its various settings in terms such as "fucking ouch" and "where shall I send the ashes, ma'am?"
• Harry Potter and the Rune Stone Path has a type B in this passage:

"On a scale of one to shadow panther, I think we hit Giant Squid on that one."

• A type B of the former combined with a mixed type 2/3 of Broke the Rating Scale can be found in this passage from chapter 73 of the Harry Potter fic Lady Archimedes:

"So on a scale of one to whatever it was you did to Umbridge, how horrifying is this going to be?" George said. Hermione looked over the rune setup one last time. "I'd say somewhere between Inferius and what Filch and Mrs. Norris get up to in their spare time," she replied.

Live-Action TV

• Buffy the Vampire Slayer:

"How'd it go?" "On a scale of one to ten? It sucked."

Web Comics

• Sparkling Generation Valkyrie Yuuki:

"On a scale from one to bad, this is pretty fucked up."

• Ménage à 3:

"On a Scale From One To Ten, how fired am I?"

• Schlock Mercenary brings us this:

Kevyn: Well, on a scale of "that's not free checking" to "heat death of the universe," I'd say we're looking at "the enemy has a super-weapon we can't track."

• Between Failures:

"On a scale from one to fucked, how much trouble am I in?" "Um... a handjob, I guess. I'm not sure I understand the scale." "No, you got it."

Western Animation

• Johnny Bravo gets scaled on how he does at picking up girls, rated by Luke Perry no less.

Luke Perry: Well Johnny, on a scale of one to ten... you're an idiot.

Other

• Cybraphon's mood scale.