Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.



  • Luigi's partners telling what really happened, as Luigi fudges his stories to make him sound not so pathetic. That poor Blooper.
    • Poor Blooper? What about the Bob-omb who had to see Luigi in drag?
  • There's a scene in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door where Mario has to go through pipes to escape a locked room. Par for the course? Of course, for Mario. But the catch? Said pipes are in a toilet. No matter which of Mario's partners you have with you on the other side, their reaction is priceless--but Flurrie's is this troper's favorite:

Flurrie: I should like to request that we never do that again.

    • IIRC, Koops says something along the lines of "so THAT'S what plumbers do!" Also:

Koops: X-Nauts? Sounds like tissues... to the extreme or something.

    • Similarly, each time you run into Ms. Mowz, she gives Mario a kiss before leaving. Each partner's reaction is worth hearing.

Goombella: Ms. Mowz was here before, but I think she took the next train to Floozyville.

  • "You rang, dude? I mean, sir? You rang, Sir Grodus, dude? Grodus? Sir Grodus, sir?"
    • "Shut up."
  • Also this exchange at the beginning of the game:

Goombella: Professor, he's Mario! You know, the famous one!
Prof. Frankly: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm such a bookworm, I haven't a clue about what's "hip" right now.

  • And:

Yoshi: Oh man, the old monster-beyond-the-town-gate thing? Isn't that kinda cliched?

    • Made even funnier considering he only hatched in the last chapter.
  • I'm surprised that no one has mentioned the Bowser interlude where Bowser meets Lord Crump in Twilight Town.
    • Any of the Bowser interludes, especially the ones where you need to control him through mock versions of Super Mario Bros. levels.

Bowser--Extra Lives = ∞
Fiesta !

    • "Great, just great. Now I look like the huge, mighty king of GUYS WHO TALK TO POSTERS!"
    • Bowser's epic battle against Rawk Hawk for his Crystal Star:

Rawk Hawk: Pain.

    • "I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY NAMED GONZALES!!!"
      • "STOP SPEAKING IN RIDDLES, YOU CHICKEN NUGGET!"
    • And, of course, Bowser's reaction to the news that he has been beaten to yet another Crystal Star... by Luigi.
    • "Swimming. I was swimming."
    • In the first interlude, Bowser can listen to two Hammer Bros. in a conversation. The first one starts blabbing about how he caught Bowser mooning over a picture of Princess Peach, all while the other one is telling him to shut it. His reaction when he turns around is pretty damn hilarious.

"I'm not funny, sir!"
"He's not funny, sir!"

    • When Kammy Koopa tells Bowser that Mario is in Rogueport, she expects a huge reaction obviously for her scouting and hard work. She gets:

"Pfft.... what do I look like? His baby-sitter?

    • At the Great Tree, Kammy and Puni Elder get into an argument. Bowser has one of two thoughts that the player can choose; "You're BOTH too old!" or "It's hag vs hag! Awesome!" Regardless, Kammy will ask Bowser why it looks like he's dying to say something.
  • When visiting Glitzville, try answering the pay phone. You might get a weather update.

Phone: Weather in Glitzville is sunny, with a chance of more sun. It's above the clouds, stupid.

    • How about when a guy calls and says "Hello?" repeatedly?
  • The Nintendo Power guide for the game is actually pretty funny in parts.
    • If you don't have the guide, get it. It's like it was written by a Deadpan Snarker or a First Third Person Smartass.
    • Two moments in said guide that particularly stood out for this troper:

(After receiving the threatening e-mail in Chapter 3) "Mario then proceeds to go on a rampage and whack everyone in the locker room with a steel folding chair...no, not really."
(When the Russian-accented Bob-ombs reveal their giant cannon to fire Mario to the moon) "Those of you who grew up in the '60's, feel free to hide under a table."

  • Anytime you fight (and win) in the Glitz Pit with Yoshi.

Yoshi: Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! How'd that floor taste?

  • Doopliss impersonating Mario.
    • For people who looked it up or replayed the game, when you try to guess Doopliss's name but use an uppercase "P" instead (since the lowercase "p" is missing) You'll get "Doo Pliss? Hahahaha! Who'd name their kid that?"
    • After his defeat, he ends up joining the Shadow Sirens, and becomes the replacement Butt Monkey of the group. By their final battle, the guy who forced you to take a long back-and-forth journey just to learn his name is begging to be called Doopliss, rather than "freak-in-a-sheet".
    • The funniest part would probably be Doopliss freaking out when you guess his name correctly.
  • "Flavio hates you all."
    • The complete lack of respect the entire crew have for Flavio.

Pa-Patch: Hey, you want to know what smells really suspicious? Flavio's armpit! Smells like low tide!
Flavio: That's enough, you mutinous jokers!

  • The Cursed Chests, to the point during the third time around, Mario seems more annoyed than scared.
    • And eager to be Cursed with Awesome.
    • The fourth chest is actually disappointed when it learns Mario has already been through the entire "WEE HEE! FOOLS!" routine three times before.
  • Goombella's tattles do not disappoint:
    • Upon entry to an X-Naut base on the moon, she marvels at the architecture, especially the large dome that keeps all of the air within the structure. And then realizes that you just walked around outside with no problems.
    • Tattle with her when atop the Excess Express, and she'll try to describe the view briefly before giving up, on account of the Smorg infestation.
    • Her book describes Goombas as "the underlings of underlings". She reacts appropriately.
    • Tattle on Bowser and she'll say "That's Bowser, genius."
    • "That's a Twilighter who's totally obsessed with how important the moon is here. I guess, it's pretty prominent here, but he still might be a werewolf."
    • "I know she didn't turn into a pig just to feed her hungry kids!"
    • "Hey, this Twilighter is still a pig. .....Omigosh Mario, you can't tell her I said that!"
    • She is completely unable to tell the Punies apart, other than the main four. This results in some hilariously uninformative tattles if you ask her about them.
      • "Hm... I wonder how long Punies live. Smaller animals tend not to live as long as larger animals... ....maybe it's best not to think about it."
      • "You know what I wonder? Why are they called Punies? Because they're... Oh... right."
    • Tattle a Swooper for her opinion of its name.
    • Also, her tendency to point out the Fridge Logic behind some of the enemies, notably Bob-ombs and Hammer Bros.
    • When she first meets Dupree, she blows off his advances immediately. Unfortunately, he's a Recurring Extra, and her comments develop from simple disgust to outright despair if she keeps tattling him. And eventually all the way around to begrudging respect for how good he is at getting to each place in your journey before you.
      • "That's that totally gross guy, Dupree! What the heck is THAT guy doing here? Omigosh! You don't think he followed us here 'cause he's infatuated with me, do you? ...No? Oh, what, like it's not even possible?!? That's kinda insulting, Mario!"
    • "...it makes me want to yell, 'Hey stupid ocean! Look at me, I'm on vacation!!'"
    • The Tattle Log itself has a few amusing lines. On Kammy: "She's a nasty, magic-using crone, but you should still respect your elders! Remember that!"
      • "You wanna hate me, but you can't help but love the RAAAAAAAWWWWK!" Did Rawk Hawk write his own entry?
  • The crows in Twilight Town, when you hide in the shadows with Vivian.
  • Bowser can investigate his statues in his first level (which consists solely of walking to the other end of the room and being rude to a few underlings)... for the most part, he just comments about how handsome he is. But on the third one you get this lovely parody of the way Mario finds things, complete with Item Found music on the bolded statement:

Wow... what a profile! Although... this thing could use a good dusting... Huh? It looks like this eye is a little loose... Incredible! The statue's eye is a jewel! I got the Bowser Jewel! ...Just kidding.

  • One of the very first scenes in the game involves a massive horde of X-Nauts jumping Mario--and then Mario just walks away, as they're mindlessly pouncing on something (that is very much not Mario) in the middle of the crowd.
  • The scene shortly after the above where, in the middle of Toadsworth talking, 2 Pianta mobsters show up in the background and begin working two Craws (Gus and Garf) over before leaving. You're in Rogueport for 5 minutes and you've already witnessed a gang war.
  • During the final Bowser level, you can talk to that rich toad lady. Unlike the others, who cower in fear from Bowser, she begins admiring his horns before asking if she can mount them above her fireplace. Bowser's reaction is priceless.
  • When you try to wake General White, the game snarks at you how that's not working. Each and every time. You do it about a dozen times. Twice. And each is funnier than the last. Stuff like "Sleeping like a 'stached baby." or "He woke up... just kidding, he's still asleep."
  • There's one point where the professor is giving his usual exposition, he stops saying 'no that's not' you current partner asks 'that's not what?' and Professor Frankley screams 'I DON'T KNOW' cue face fault from Mario and your partner looking like they have just received some damage.
  • The sidequest from the trouble center where you have to give a Goomba (who somehow got deep into Pirate's Grotto) a girlfriend. You're supposed to introduce him to Goombella, but you can introduce him to any of your partners. The funniest part is, Koops and Yoshi seem to be legitimately offended that he didn't want them. Also, Ms. Mowz will simply tell him that he shouldn't go into any dark alleys after that.
    • His reaction if you show Bobbery is hilarious too.

Goomba: I asked for a cute goomba gal, he's just some crusty old Bob-omb! Dude, what is WRONG with you?!

  • In Chapter 2, when you first get to the Great Boggly Tree, you find there's a mechanical door that blocks your way. Punio goes to where the secret entrance for Punies is, but can't find it because of an invisible thingy. He comments no secret entrance would be labelled secret entrance. When you get Flurrie and use her power to blow that thingy away, it turns out, the secret entrance is marked by a large neon sign that clearly says "SECRET ENTRANCE".
  • After Chapter 7, there's a sidequest in the Trouble Center where you have to dress up like Luigi and meet someone who is a fan of Luigi. Hilarity ensues.
  • During any battle, the audience may throw items at Mario's party to help out, but sometimes you will get a heckler that will throw rocks or garbage at you. You can actually counter the hecklers by making Mario or his ally run off the stage, go into the audience, and whack the heckler so they leave! Mario may be saving the world, but he won't hesitate to kick someone's ass for busting his chops during a fight.
  • "You never know when someone might go nuts and attack! Be careful! Live longer!"
    • "Nobody zings us like that! NOBODY!!"
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