Gumshoe: Mr. Edgeworth came in to wish me a happy New Year's the other day! Talk about a pleasant surprise, pal! He said... Edgeworth: Whoooooooooooop! Detective Gumshoooooooooooooe! Gumshoe: ...then he hung his head low and walked out the door. Kinda strange if you ask me...
"Objection! ... I was hoping to come up with a question while I was objecting, Your Honor... I didn't."
And then he comes up with another. "Indeed! Verily, I say!... Ergo!"
Also, based on dialogue options, Phoenix right before then: "I was hoping to come up with a question by slamming on my desk, Your Honor... I didn't."
Judge: You have my sympathies.
"You eat, you die." Also, Phoenix, Edgeworth, and even the Judge struggling with Ms. Oldbag's name.
Especially since unlike everyone else in the game, she's identified as "Oldbag" even before Phoenix learns her name.
In Case 1-4, when Phoenix Wright cross-examines the Old Caretaker's parrot Polly, he concludes that the Old Caretaker named his parrot after his deceased fiancee. However, Manfred von Karma objects to this idea with a rather hilarious comeback.
Manfred von Karma: Bah! A mere coincidence, that's all! My granddaughter has a dog she calls "Phoenix". (Snaps fingers.) Well, Mr. Phoenix Wright? Does this make you my granddaughter's fiancee!? She's only seven years old!!!
Von Karma: I set my ATM card's number as 0001, because I'm number one!
What about the fact that they are cross-examining a parrot itself? This, in my opinion, was the greatest Funny Moment of them all.
Also, the whole beginning scene in Case 1-4, starting with when Phoenix tells Maya to take "a cold shower".
Phoenix and Maya attempting to talk to the caretaker of the boat rental shop in "Turnabout Goodbyes." He's absolutely convinced that they're his kids Meg and Keith and he runs a pasta shop called the Wet Noodle. He's also prone to falling asleep standing up, complete with Snot Bubble. Basically, every bit of dialogue in that scene is hilarious. Until the parrot mentions DL-6, that is...
Phoenix thinking Grossberg and White were lovers.
There are two options in which you can present that theory. Only one of them advance the plot. The other nets you this gem:
Phoenix: (I guess I was wrong...but it felt so right!)
This little exchange between Phoenix and Dee Vasquez.
Dee Vasquez: ? Phoenix: Don't "?" me!
How can anyone not mention the scenes you get if you choose anything besides the metal detector when you go hunting for Gourdy in Case 1-4? With Missile, if you head over to Larry's spot, he'll promptly eat all of the Samurai dogs and Nick'll have to foot the bill. Or if you choose the fishing pole and head to Lotta's, Maya will then attempt to fish in the lake, but then sets off Lotta's cameras. And again Phoenix is sent a large bill.
Phoenix: * sob*
And if you visit Lotta duing that period without the Fishing Rod, Maya sneezes and sets off the camera again.
It might just be me, but that Bellboy from 1-2 was hilarious.
It would be a sad world indeed if only you thought that, because he is hilarious.
Phoenix: Are you sure you brought her that iced tea at exactly 9:00!? Bellboy: Ab-SO-lutely, sir. Phoenix: 'Ab-SO-lutely'? Bellboy: Yes, sir. As in 'so very absolutely', sir. It's an endearing mannerism of mine.
Sal Manella and his Leet Lingo, complete with ":(". That's pretty much it. And the few times Maya doesn't understand him, too.
Sal Manella: I, er, wolfed [the t-bone steak] down then. Phoenix: (A mental image I will carry with me to my grave...)
On the second day of trial in Turnabout Goodbyes, Von Karma predicts that the trial will end in less than three minutes. It doesn't. His reaction is hilarious:
Von Karma: AAARGH! Three minutes have passed!
There's also this exchange from Rise from the Ashes, some time after Jake Marshall starts a "number of words" type challenge:
Edgeworth: If you have a response, make it one word or less. Phoenix: ARGHHHHH! Edgeworth: I rest my case.
From Turnabout Samurai:
Phoenix: Ms. Vasquez, how can a person eat a t-bone steak and not leave a bone behind? I think I know how! Choice 1: You ate the bone, too! Choice 2: You ate a boneless steak!
Most of the Judge's dialogue.
Judge: People sometimes mistake my beard for a bib.
Although it may take the cake when Phoenix questions whether the Judge can uphold a witness's testimony in case 1-5. The Judge yells "NOOOOOO!" and the screen fades to black. The screen then relights, and...
Phoenix: (apparently just had an aneurysm) Edgeworth: (WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN expression) Judge: :-O Edgeworth: (slams table) What the hell was that wriggling piece of plywood?!
None of them ever quite recover from the trauma, as seen when the Blue Badger reappears on Edgeworth's half of Ema's drawing:
Edgeworth: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM-- Judge: Is something wrong? Phoenix: (Do you even have to ask?) Edgeworth: MMMMM-- Sorry, Your Honor. This is... that thing! Judge: (wide-eyed) It's that thing!
In case 1-2, Mia possesses her sister just when everything looks hopeless, and Phoenix faints. Then he wakes up in the lobby, thinking he was just hallucinating in the shock of his defeat, and then Mia appears again, and he faints AGAIN.
In case 1-5, discovering that Wendy Oldbag has sent Edgeworth a huge bouquet, which he still has on his desk.
Damon Gant's smiling stare somehow manages to be simultaneously hilarious and absolutely terrifying.
when connecting the blood dots on the jar:
Judge: I feel like I'm teaching handwriting to a pupil who is all thumbs. Edgeworth: I think you should make him write out "I won't do it again" 100 times.
Also in 1-5, As an attempt to move the body was foiled, the body was left partially in the trunk of a car, which white tape was set to reflect. Ema comes to the conclusion that the victim died exactly in that spot, by having the trunk slammed on him.
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Justice for All
Come on, guys. Did you forget the ending of Case 2's trial? Franziska went crazy and whipped Phoenix unconscious.
"Objection! I object... for the sake of objecting!"
Hell, a lot of stuff having to do with Oldbag, such as Edgeworth calling her "the wicked witch of the witness stand" in the second game, along with her constant * rat-at-at-at* "tasering".
Oldbag: How long are they going to leave me screening the hotel?
If you press Oldbag at the right time, Phoenix will get frustrated with her for stalling during her testimony, to which she'll react by stalling even longer by just singing the Nickel Samurai theme song until Edgeworth bribes her with a stick of gum.
Edgeworth: Wright, I'll be sending the bill for the chewing gum to your office at a later date.
When Phoenix is attempting to get Money the Monkey to drop what he's holding, there are three options on how to act: "Man to Man", "Man to Monkey", and "Monkey to Monkey." "Monkey to Monkey" is by far the most humiliating for Phoenix and is hilarious.
Ask Regina about the monkey, and she'll admit that even she has Money problems.
This troper is offended that the pressing of Shelly de Killer about his fee in case 4 isn't listed here!
Phoenix:How much is your fee...? de Killer:... de Killer: I see you are also quite a dark-hearted man, Mr. Attorney... Phoenix: Huh? de Killer: If you would like to talk business, we can do so after the trial... Phoenix: Ack! NONONO! I'm not thinking of hiring-- Judge: M-M-Mr. Wright!! Phoenix: Y-Yes!? Judge: Y-Y-You... Judge: You want to kill me... You want me dead... DON'T YOU!?!? Phoenix: Whaaaat!? Why would you think something like that, Your Hon-- Judge: Guilty! MR. PHOENIX WRIGHT! You are hereby declared GUILTY!!
This troper played the English language version solely to hear that dialogue.
Yet another one involving Edgeworth: Just after he reappears in Case 2-4, he reacts to hearing Engarde's motto, "Refreshing like a spring breeze," with a surprisingly vehement, "R- Refreshing?! And what is so refreshing about a spring breeze?!" Phoenix's internal commentary on the subject:
(Sounds like the pollen is not treating him well this year...)
The mental image alone is worth the price of admission.
"This isn't the Phoenix Wright Wax Philosophical Power Hour!"
Maya couldn't help but change a relief moment into a laughing one: "H-Hey! I'm not an item!"
"If I could get huge rolls of cash just for bringing people things on trays, then why on Earth would I be standing around here prosecuting?!"
Anytime Franziska whips anyone.
Whenever Pearl brings up a thought that Phoenix is Maya's "special someone..."
The Judge's reaction if you accuse him of being the murderer near the very end of case 2-3. Even though it'll cause an instant game over if you've received so much as a single penalty during the second day of the trial, it's well worth doing so, just to see how hard the Judge can hit the Berserk Button.
Trilo's "Damaged" animation. It's more the face he makes than his arms and head flying off.
Trilo again: "Let me lay it all out for you... The pay sucks... The clown sucks... And my partner has his hand up my pants."
Phoenix tossing his cellphone across the courtroom to Edgeworth in Justice For All 's fourth case. Take that! indeed.
The developers found it necessary to animate the cellphone's Courd Record picture spinning and shrinking right after that to simulate the phone throw. It is completely unnecessary and hilariously unexpected.
Also: interrogating de Killer via a transceiver. The transceiver's Face Faults (you read that right) are the icing on the cake.
Also worthy of mention is the transceiver's sweating what seems to be battery acid while under pressure as well as breaking apart once taken by shock.
In 2-1:
Maggey: It's not me, sir! I didn't kill him! Phoenix: Then how do you explain his dying message incriminating you? Maggey: ...it's a conspiracy!
What's funnier is that she's right.
Gumshoe decides to give Pearl the marvelous advice of (not word for word, mind) "If you ever feel like whipping someone, don't. If you want to hurt someone, please just punch them in the face instead."
In 2-2, one part of Lotta's testimony requires you to press five statements, all of which you were there for. Hence, three of these result in Franziska forcing you to corroborate Lotta yourself. The best is when Lotta describes "Mr. Lawyer" breaking the door down.
Franziska: Honestly, Mr. Phoenix Wright. Why don't you tell us what happened then?
Phoenix: Um... Yes, Ms. Von Karma... I broke the door down. Sorry. (Why does this feel like an inquisition?)
Lotta: No need for apologizin'! That was great! You're a real man!
Judge: Oh really? That's something I would've liked to see.
Phoenix: (The Judge is smiling rather openly. I'll take that as a good sign...)
Phoenix's reaction to all the Ringmaster's donations to the Robot Clown Research Center.
Phoenix:: What!? They may be a perfectly reputable charity in the field of advanced tomfoolery!
Phoenix declaring that the victim in 2-3 died due to "the force of gravity and Maximillion Galactica's ample bust".[1]
Will Powers testimony spurs some great one-liners from Phoenix:
Phoenix: (discussing whether Shelly de Killer disguised as the bellboy is suspicious) A baseball has stitches! Are you saying that all baseballs are suspicious because they have stitches?!
Phoenix: A football is made of leather! Are you saying all footballs are suspicious because they are made of leather?!
If you accused that the bust is under either the Judge bench or Franziska's. Either take double penalty or full course of leather-whip set!!
In 2-4 examining the bear statue will eventually prompt it being added into the Court Record, with the line 'Bear snatched up by Edgeworth'. Just the mental image of Edgeworth struggling to get a life-sized bear statue out the door is enough to make anyone laugh.
Late in 2-4, fail to provide a proper objection about why Engarde would want to obtain a suicide note that he would have known was a forgery and the judge will figure it out himself. But then Phoenix finishes his thought, leading the judge to get angry at him for stealing his thunder and give him another penalty.
Judge: I could've even bragged about embarrassing Mr. Edgeworth to my grandchild had you not...
At some point in 2-1 you're required to present one of Phoenix's business cards as evidence. The Judge then thanks you, and hands you his own business card. It even gets added to the Court Record.
The start of the 2-3, trial, where the Judge doesn't even get to finish his very first sentence before Franziska starts whipping everybody.
Speaking of more whipping shenanigans, you know that "surprise take of everyone in the courtroom" scene that keeps happening throughout the series? Yeah, von Karma interuppts that with her whip.
2-4: Edgeworth's back! He's calm, he's cool, he's collected, he's got a kickass new theme song and he's effortlessly shooting down any attempts on Phoenix's part to prove his client's innocence. Then Wendy Oldbag shows up on the witness stand and his composure instantly vanishes.
Try to ask Oldbag about what she witness of the murder in 4-2 and you'll be presented with four psyche-locks. Looks like you have a daunting task ahead of you trying to pry that information out of her...until you come across the victim's autograph made out to a "Wendy" (Oldbag was a huge fan of his,) and she'll want it so bad that all four locks will break at once.
From 2-2:
Ini: Are you really trusting the word of that fake, perverted doctor? Phoenix: Yes, I am. And how did you know he was perverte-[von Karma cracks her whip]
In 2-3, Moe belts out the A-Team theme song, but remixed with clowns. It's hilarious because it just plain comes out of nowhere.
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations
Case 4 has some of the greatest lines with Mia's thoughts on her hating Edgeworth.
Come on, guys. She wanted to strangle him with his cravat and called him a hypocrite.
'D-do I really inspire this sort of frothing desire from the female masses?' Which can also be seen as a Fandom Nod. Actually, any scene where Edgeworth gets freaked out is likely to be a Funny Moment for someone.
Thinking about it, it's not just the 'female masses' line - everything from the part where you play as Edgeworth is concentrated comedy gold. Gumshoe's reaction when you find the staff, the lines when you present evidence incorrectly, and this:
Is there some sort of kick-me sign on the defense's bench!?
Or this:
Thank God for internal monologue.
You missed what happens when you examine the Camera in the Detention Centre;
Edgeworth: The camera is glaring at me. "If something glares at you, it's only polite to return the favor," is what I was taught. ...
Also, he misheard Phoenix's description when Nick first loaned him the Magatama, and proceeds to constantly refer to Psyche-Locks as "Psycholocks."
How about the first time Edgeworth breaks a 'Psycholock':
Edgeworth: (Was it the evidence or the power of my glare that broke that lock...?)
And how about Edgeworth's reaction to Larry Butz's Psyche-Locks after he just unlocked three and now there are FIVE of them.
Larry: Oh…I shouldn’t have done that…
Edgeworth: *thinking* Done what? Maybe I can get some more informa-
Gumshoe: *leaps out* Hey! You! About what you just said…I got an objection! *Cornered music plays*
After Phoenix argues that Victor Kudo was too interested in the waitress's uniform to notice her face, he claims that anyone could have been wearing that uniform. "Even me!" The Judge immediately orders the defense to refrain from giving the court mental images.
All the references to pop culture throughout the games, most notably this:
Lisa Basil: I'm sorry, that data is SuPer-Admin Restricted Desktop Access password-protected. Maya: SuPer-Admin Restricted Desktop Access password-protected?! What?! This is madness! Phoenix: No, Maya, that isSPARDA.
I also loved the part where Larry (I think it was him) talked about a "Big Badaboum"
Don't forget,
Maya: What!? It's not the Rocko soundtrack, is it? Claw of the Tiger?
Trials and Tribulations Case 1 has Payne being so shocked at his defeat at the hands of Mia that HIS HAIR FLIES OFF OF HIS SCALP.
Payne: Nooooooo! My hair is flying ooooooofffffffff!
From 3-1:
Phoenix: Toilet!? My perfect little Dollie doesn't poop!
When Phoenix has to present Larry's sketch in 3-5, there are a few options you get in how to present it. "A major contradiction" is the obvious correct answer, but answering "exactly what happened" provides a hilarious snippet of dialogue. "Of course the victim was flying through the air! You can see it right in the sketch! Woooooooosh!" The sound effects that accompany this make it extremely funny.
Godot is so amused/baffled by this explanation that he will waive the penalty; something he won't do if use the third option "absolutely nothing".
Larry's, or rather, "Laurice Deauxnim's" evidence in case 3-5.
Edgeworth: Are... Franziska: You... The Judge: HIGH! The victim is really high up there!
And later in Trials and Tribulations.
Phoenix:...? Maya: Don't "...?" me, Nick!
When Furio Tigre is in court during 3-3, both Maya and the Judge hide under their respective desks.
Tigre: I got a business to take care of, ya hear me? So who the hell called me into this hole?! Was it you', spikey?! Phoenix: Ack, no. Of course not… It was… the judge… (Notices the judge is gone) Y-Your Honor!!! Judge: Oh, dear! I, um… I seem to have dropped my pen. Where on earth is it…? Don't mind me! Just carry on with the proceedings as normal! Phoenix: (That's it. We're doomed.)
And then...
Phoenix: (Maybe I should have brought a diaper with me today) Maya: (While still under the desk) Get a grip, Nick!
Later, Phoenix does it too. Furio Tigre is scary.
Tigre: So I dare you' to say it again! Come on! You' got the guts!? Judge: (Still scared) Y-Y-You can't threaten m-me, Mr. Tigre. I-It's the defense! Go ahead and tell the witness, Mr. Wright!(Realize that Wright has disappeared) Mr. Wriight! Tigre: Sounds to me like it must be you', old man. Youse got guts, I'll give you that. Judge: M-M-Mr. Wright! Do not leave me to handle this alone!
Phoenix tries to pass it off as having dropped his pen like what the Judge says, and when he pops back up, this dialogue ensues.
Near the beginning of 3-3, in an attempt to get information out of a Dirty Old Man, Phoenix drags along Maya in a Tres Bienuniform. Said old man tells her she looks like a kid and to come back in a few years... so she channels Mia. Hilarity Ensues.
In 3-3, Godot refers to Phoenix, Maya, and himself as "the porcu-headed lawyer and the topknot chick over there, and the ungodly cool guy with the mask over here."
Sister Bikini being called to the witness stand. She shows up and... all you can see is the top of her hood. The judge asks her to stand up nice and tall. She obliges. Edgeworth tactfully suggests they get her some milk crates to stand on.
ANYTHING that comes out of Luke Atmey's mouth.
There's also this absolute gem from Mia in the very beginning of 3-1, where Grossberg says "You've made our client cry!" and she responds, "Let him! That 'P' on his sweater doesn't stand for Phoenix!" Think about it for a little while.
It's funny how much Phoenix annoyed Mia when they first met. When he was fawning over his "Dolly", it annoyed Mia so much she had the strong urge to slap the person closest to her. Said person was Grossberg.
Her reaction is amusing even after we see what happened to the last person Mia defended, who was also fawning over Dahlia.
Presenting Gumshoe the Magatama in 3-2 and 3-5 both end up in him almost eating it. Phoenix, Maya (both in 3-2) and Edgeworth's (3-5) reactions are equally priceless.
A rather subtle one comes near the end of the game when we find out that Adrian Andrews and Pearl aren't the only people to have ever broken and repaired Ami Fey's Urn.
More like cute moment than a funny one, really.
In 3-1 when Dahlia Hawthorne appears in court, both the Judge and Payne fawn over how pure and innocent she looks. Mia's response?
Mia: (Now I can see whose Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!)
Am I the only one there who wanted Grossberg to reply "Damn right, it's better than yours," and for Mia to promptly slap the shit out of him?
In 3-5 When Edgeworth tells the judge to call Larry Butz to the stand:
Judge: This guy must be a product of "Jean-Luc de Laduc's Guide To Obnoxious French Painting".
Anything Jean Armstrong does. Seriously.
Any time Grossberg mentions his hemorrhoids in the first case. Disgusting, yes, but also hilarious.
By the end of the case, Mia finally asks him to stop talking about his hemorrhoids. His response: "How rude!"
"Dancingly descended". Twice. (IIRC, this is how it goes:)
Luke Atmey: Mask*De Masque dancingly descended towards me! Phoenix: How did he do that, exactly? Luke: Well...through the air ducts, I suppose. Where else? Phoenix: (So, in reality, he neither 'danced' nor 'descended'! ...Someone please save me.)
And later:
Ron De Lite: I dancingly descended into the basement! Phoenix: How did you do that? Ron: Oh, through the air ducts. Phoenix: (So, in reality, he neither 'danced' nor 'descended'! ...Someone please save me. Again.)
This line, if you present Mask*De Masque to Ron De Lite.
Ron: Maybe I should give up being a thief and become a professional cowbell player...
Jean Armstrong applying oil to himself in front of Phoenix.
Phoenix: MY EYES! MY EYEEEEESS!
The judge's sheer lack of knowledge about technology in case 3-3:
Judge: A "computer virus?" What's that do? Phoenix: It's a program that destroys your computer from the inside. Judge: A "computer?" What's that do? Phoenix: I'll explain after the trial.
Related: Maya and Gumshoe have a similarly clueless conversation about viruses during the investigation, and it is priceless.
In 3-1, when it's revealed that Dahlia had an ulterior motive for dating Phoenix, he freaks out, grabs the bottle necklace and tries to flee the courtroom. When he's brought back and told to give back the necklace, he reveals that he ate it. The court's reaction is priceless.
That actually becomes a massive Dude, Not Funny after case 3-4...
Phoenix examining a bent ornamental sword in 3-2, wondering how it got that way.
Maya: Maybe Detective Atmey smashed Mask*DeMasque with it. Like this! *POW* Phoenix: YEOOOOOUCCCH!! WHAT THE HECK! Maya: What do you think, Pearly? Pearl: I think it's even more bent than it was before. Phoenix: (Oh man...my head...my HAIR!)
In the same case, the Judge mishears the word 'broach'.
Judge: A breach? Here!? Baliff! Get my steed! We need to retreat at once!
↑He means a bust of Max made of bronze, not his actual chest.
