Poison Oak Epileptic Trees/Archive

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.



Older guesses for Poison Oak Epileptic Trees. Please do not add new entries to this article.

If you slept with Kelly in Mass Effect 2 . . .

Your Old Save Bonus in 3 will include the alien STD Mordin mentioned as having spread onto the ship. Let's face it, she's the character most likely to have had sex with varren.

Silver the Hedgehog is Satan

And Blaze is Jesus.

Justin Bieber is the entire universe's greatest singer, ever.

Seriously, can you prove it wrong?

Jews, who control the media, are responsible for the popularity of Justin Bieber

Hate to be Encyclopedia Dramatica, but since this is Poison Oak Epileptic Trees, Sure Why Not. The Jewish corporate agenda is not the control of Israel or Zion, it's to control our media and fiction. They had the chance to fix everything, but instead it led to America's cultural downfall. The Dark Messiah, Adolf Hitler, foresaw this, and prophesied that this relentless perversion would lead to the devaluation of beauty and the rise of Mega Corporatism, said Mega Corps vanquishing the classics and preferring whatever is the most catchy and upbeat. And Justin Bieber is the horrifying consequence of this media corporatism......

Twilight is the most accurate and realistic description of vampires.

Vampires, being the superior species, tried to be overlords to humanity, but instead of obeying them in a Big Brother fashion humanity just laughed at them. The Vampires got mad, and so they spent their life hiding amongst us, creating the mythology and image and genre of Dracula and the "sexy devilish vampires in gothic settings", since we are more likely to fall, worship and obey Horny Devils than ridiculous fairies sparklepires. The conditioning affected us so much that when it's the time to show their real image we fell for them. Oh, and the Vampires also control the Illuminati, and the Jews, which in turn control the media, which in turn controls Justin Bieber. There exists a group of vampire slayers, but all they can do is to stave off the conditioning. Of course, the Knights Templar called Christianity fell for the joke.

Uwe Boll is the entire universe's greatest director, ever.

Can you also prove it wrong?

  • You may not be too far off. Postal has gotten a few good reviews for it's sheer OOT factor, and Rampage is said to be a pretty striking look at violence (in fact a few of his more recent films have been said to be this). Methinks Uwe may be more clever than he lets on, like the filmmaking version of The Comedian, filling his films with Crosses the Line Twice material to show humanity a parody of itself.
  • He is the best director ever, and he's doing his shitty movies on purpose: this is not For the Evulz: he is creating the material from which the next ecological totalitarian World Government will built its propaganda: "consumerist society was bad: look the kind of shit they used to watch!".

All the events of Battlestar Galactica are just the president's hallucination due to her cancer.

Please. God. No.

  • You know it doesn't like that name.

Nanoha is literally burning off her Life Energy to power her magic.

She's already sent herself to the hospital once for overuse. Regardless, she'll have a much shortened lifespan.

  • This may be the reason Fate keeps her at a safe distance despite their obvious mutual attraction. She doesn't want her partner to die way earlier than herself.
  • Isn't this canon? and All There in the Manual?
    • Yes, but but apparently Hayate put her foot down in Vi Vid and forced Nanoha to take a vacation without major magic so she could recover.
    • Shamal (who apparently acts as Nanoha's doctor) states in Striker S Sound Stage 4 that Nanoha should take a year or two off of magic, but notes that Nanoha will likely do what she wants anyway. The leave, which apparently lasts between four and six years (She's on leave in Vivio, but back in Force), is most likely for Vivio's sake, to raise her until she's old enough to take care of herself.
  • Word of God states she burned out a percentage of her power in the final battle in StrikerS.
  • Confirmed, but not as bad as it looks. The Blaster System is explicitly stated to enable the Hit Point to Magic Point conversion. So she does convert Life Force (that's what Hit Points represent) to Magic Points, but only when the Blaster System is enabled. Now that Nanoha is on break to recover her strength during ViviD, much of the lost 10% of Nanoha's magic power will probably be back in time for Force. No worries.

(Insert character here) dies in Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows

We already have the book, so it's moot. But there were so many people dreading that various characters would be killed off that it's worth mentioning anyway.

Robin Williams is NOT God and has been dead since 1982.

Just like in the "Paul is dead" theories, he's been replaced. You gotta admit, if you listen to "Reality, What A Concept" and then to "Live At The Met", then you'll notice a lot of difference... but still, no.

Paul McCartney and Robin Williams were both kidnapped by the homunculi created by the Real Life Theocratus Bombastus Van Hohenheim, and the entire thing was Real Life-Pride and Real Life-Envy getting back at the world.

Haruhi Suzumiya is the Eldritch Abomination daughter of Shinji Ikari and the latest sleeping reincarnation of Adolf Hitler and Eric Cartman combined, summoned by Nazis to bring about The End of the World as We Know It

Yuki was one of the specific types of aliens Heinrich Himmler tried to contact and summon here on Earth. Itsuki is a part of an organization trying to stop the impending Apocalypse (Or is it?). Don't know about Mikuru, since it's classified information. Finally, the most damning of all: Kyon is part Jewish.

  • Kyon is Kyle Broflovski? That makes a lot of sense.
  • Maybe it's just me, but that sounds like a pretty damn awesome end of the world.

The majority of Neon Genesis Evangelion Crossover theories are true

Do we want to think that all these other shows are the product of mankind's collective consciousness after getting tang'd to death? Or worse, Shinji's own messed-up fantasies? And several of the "oh yeah, that was true" "theories" on NGE's own WMG page are squicky.

Gilgamesh Wulfenbach and Agatha Heterodyne share a parent

As that series' own page says: Word of God says, "Noooooooooooooooooo!"

  • It's more likely that Gil and Zeetha share a parent, anyway.

Real Life is part of the Tommy Westphall Omniverse.

Turns out we've all been dead since 1994 and that everyone is Jesus in a snowglobe.

Sesame Street is connected to the Tommy Westphallverse several times over. Big Bird appeared in person on Deal or No Deal. Donald Trump was also on Deal or No Deal once. (A number of Howie Mandel's statements indicate that Deal or No Deal does have a Continuity.) Not only is Donald Trump connected to several actors through the Celebrity Apprentice—including Kevin Bacon, which puts virtually everyone and everything in Hollywood in the Westphallverse through the Six Degrees rule—but he's also (apparently) connected to the real world.

This is the reason that this site doesn't count Sesame Street.

L was behind everything.

Sometime prior to the series, L was bored because none of the crimes he solved were challenging for him. He managed to find a Death Note and, after confirming its power, wrote "Beyond Birthday. Heart Attack. On January 21, 2004, Beyond's name is written in a Death Note by someone who is willing to use the Death Note to pursue some goal and has intelligence rivaling that of the person writing this. Beyond dies 40 seconds later."

L then relinquished ownership of that Death Note.

  • Can you do that? Can you use a Death Note to cause someone else to write a person's death into a different Death Note?
    • Yes. The Death Note can cause or enable more Death Note-related deaths, or Light wouldn't have been able to take out all the initial investigators in Japan.[1] L could have written that cause of death, since it only results in Death Note-related deaths.
    • No, Light wrote that Penber would board the train and all that, but he told Penber directly to write down the names. Otherwise he could just make Penber find the death note envelopes in the luggage rack or something. The point was that you can't make people kill other people just by writing it in the death note.
    • Yes. He's not saying the other person to kill the guy with the Death Note, he's just saying he writes the name. But he already wrote the name himself on another Death Note, so the second writing has no effect, it's just some guy writing a name on a piece of paper.
  • Why the hell would L try to test the fake rules in the Death Note if he had already seen the true rules?
    • Because if he had relinquished it, then he wouldn't regain memory unless he held the same one he gave up.
  • For implicit intent to kill, that is almost exactly how Light killed the FBI tail.

The My-HiME and Mai-Otome animes take place in the same universe.

There are enough random references to My-HiME in Mai-Otome to make the connection - but it makes no sense. It would require a lot of Scotch Tape to bridge the gap; even then, there are too many "coincidences" between the series, starting with all the not-quite-duplicate characters.

Bottle Fairy is about a young girl with a severe mental disability.

This page describes the theory and how it ruined some Anime lovers' enjoyment of the series.

  • Hell, that would be kinda awesome.
  • It would certainly be more awesome than the official plot.

The sheer number of Epileptic Trees for the series Lost will reach critical mass and cause the universe to collapse inward on itself and generate a new reality based on them.

No later than 2011. Either that, or this has already happened.

  • This is precisely what the Anti-Spirals feared. Clearly, Lost will be the end of us all!
  • Ah, so that's why ABC is making the series end in 2010!
  • This one happened In-Universe. It's the most logical explanation for the Alternate Reality now that we know what it truly is.

Lost was All Just a Dream fabricated by Jack to come to terms with his father's death.

This theory was seriously advanced by a fan on Lostpedia and was met by a chorus of "hell no."

  • After hearing what happened in the series finale for Lost, perhaps it should be reconsidered.
    • Not really. The writers stick in a line specifically to make sure you know everything really happened.

Janitor's deletion of the "Paul McCartney Is Really Dead" theory that was on this page is confirmation that it is true and that Janitor is part of the Ancient Conspiracy that is trying to cover it up.

Paul isn't dead, the other Beatles were! Batman found the evidence.

Paul McCartney is dead--because an Ancient Conspiracy required the person who currently answers to that name to fill his position.

Paul McCartney is dead because his replacement killed him...

Death Note carrier John Lennon killed Paul McCartney out of spite and was killed when his Shinigami wrote his name.

  • Wait, the person who currently answers to "Paul McCartney" is a shinigami?!
  • Mark David Chapman is a shinigami, and The Catcher in The Rye is a Death Note disguised as a pretentious paperback.

Charlie Brown has Cancer

The baldness is from chemotherapy.

Robot Chicken came up with this horrible theory.

  • There was a story called "Why, Charlie Brown, Why?" in which one of his friends had leukemia and underwent chemotherapy. If there ever was a good time for Charlie Brown to mention that he has cancer, then this was it, and he missed it.
    • You are assuming that Charlie Brown would get something right.
  • Word of God is that Charlie Brown has very light blond hair that his father, as a barber, always cuts extremely short; it looks almost invisible against his fair skin.

Most Time Lord Theories.

This troper even finds his own theory, Mega Man and every other character in the series is a time lord, insane and COMPLETELY stupid.

  • And unutterably tiresome. It's so old, people.
  • You're a time lord, aren't you?
    • And the Megaman entry is his TARDIS.
  • The Q are better anyway.

Chiyo's parents are dead

No they aren't, damnit! Although at least this WMG replaced the usual hell/purgatory guess with something a little less depressing.

  • Rest easy (or in peace); somebody had to rent that van for the second year trip to her summer home. (Maybe that yellow cat thing? Although you've gotta admit, the fact that her classmates are around as often as they are and never see either of them is... uh... maybe a cultural thing? Sakaki's cumulative imaginings should've been curtailed long before...)
  • Chiyo herself says that, as part of her daily routine, she wakes her parents up.
    • She "wakes her parents up"—you mean that mannequin and that stuffed cat-thing?
    • We only see her open the door and call out for them to wake up. We never hear them answer nor see them join her for breakfast. But she just looked so cheerful.... There's no way that Chiyo could have an extreme form of denial about it. Nope, it's not possible. * sniff*

Ryo Misaki was half-right.

Ryo Misaki claims that he lost early on because the tournament was rigged and that, in a fair game, a boy would always beat a girl. His second point is later proven false when he loses a match against Misaki Suzuhara. But his first point is correct; all official tournaments are rigged against the male deuses. This has caused most males to stop playing.

  • It is more that the prototypes were designed using a female as the main tester. Women and men do think differently, and so there is this handicap in using the dolls that a male deus has to overcome. The ones that do are incredibly good; the ones that don't can't be buggered to continue. Between this and the feminine packaging and advertising, it's no wonder boys don't always play.

Love is not the most powerful force in the universe.

Despite what fictional media would have you believe.

Mork is not an Orkan, but a Time Lord

Come on, folks, enough is enough! (yes, I know, I've had it with these motherfucking time lords on this motherfucking wiki!) It's one thing to theorize that he's Jesus; but for once, can we accept that he's part of the alien race he says he is?

Mario is the son of Peach.

And dear God, nothing similar to that in any way. EVER.

  • Too bad. The Mario WMG hypothesizes that Mario is Peach's father. And it makes sense.
  • Don't worry, Mario and Luigi Partners in Time and Yoshi's Island DS confirm that Mario is only a year or so older than Peach.

Bowser is Peach's father.

Eww.

Baby Bowser is the result of Bowser raping Peach.

Mario just casually watched...

That would mean that Bowser is his own father. Squicky.

  • At the end of Super Mario Sunshine, Bowsers Sr. and Jr. admit that Peach isn't related. But they could be in denial...

Peach is Bowser's father.

Why do you think she only kisses Mario? Obviously, this one belongs on this page.

Sari and Bumblebee will form their own Kiss Players-style partnership.

Please, that is just Squick. Most people count Kiss Players as Discontinuity anyway.

  • Jossed because of revelations about Sari's ancestry.

Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny are male and female of one or two different species of WMG.

If this is true and becomes known to be true in all facets of the Pokémon universe, then how will Brock react?

  • Are you kidding? He'll just bring new meaning to the term Pokémon Breeder.

Draco Malfoy grows up to be Eminem, who grows up to be Sy Parrish from One Hour Photo

Okay, ha ha, funny idea, sure (they're all blond guys with some degree of psychopathy). But with all the Grand Unifying Guesses going on that all actors play the same character and Robin Williams is some sort of divine being, this would mean that Draco is Jesus (as if he weren't worshipped enough)... and even worse, Eminem is Jesus. DO NOT WANT.

Orihime is making the whole thing up

Oh, dear God, no.

  • But it would make quite a Twist Ending.
  • Some would go for anything to invalidate the Ship-to-Ship Combat that's been going on for years. HAHA! LOSERS!
  • The Hougyouku is making Orihime make the whole thing up

Orihime is catatonic in a psych ward, and Bleach is an elaborate fantasy concocted by her schizophrenic mind.

And she is so deeply depressed that, even in her own schizophrenic fantasy, the guy she wants doesn't want her.

  • Awww......

All characters with the same name are the same character

Seriously, that is going way too far. For one thing, "All Captain Jacks are the same", "All people named Eva point to that Eva", "All people named Adolf is that Adolf", "Obama is Osama" is headache-inducing (albeit being an interesting WMG fuel). It Gets Worse: this would mean sweet little Mork from Ork is also an Ork. No. Seriously, this is madness! (Yes, yes, we know. This Is Sparta!!!)

  • Depending on whether Real Life is a fandom or not, this could make Stephen Colbert's life extremely interesting.
    • As he's an ACTION BISHIE TRAINER from Pokémon games, or a famous director?
  • You know, this explains the One Steve Limit. Steve can't be in two places at once.
    • But two Steves can. And both are being controlled by Malik.


Code Geass R2? More like Code Geass DESTINY

It seems like the creators are making Code Geass head into precisely this direction. About two thirds of the people the audience cared about are dead as of episode 18, including the reason the conflict in the series started; they've thrown in just about any and every excuse to make the audience hate Suzaku and Kallen; and...it's going too crazy to adhere to any logical procession. What really doesn't help is that Code Geass and DESTINY are by the same studio (Sunrise and Bandai). To salvage any credibility the show has, Jeremiah Gottwald must become a dark horse under the tutelage of Andy Waltfeld (the Gundam character) and Andy Waltfeld (the Troper). THERE WILL BE BLOOD (or in C.C.'s case, marinara sauce).

  • Depending on who you talk to, this theory panned out. Unfortunately.

Lillith was Dead All Along in Animamundi: Dark Alchemist

The first ending most players get (especially with the Bug in the English version) is "Quiet Corrosion," in which Lillith has become infected with some kind of mold, and dies. The computer graphics imply she rots away instantly, which is... awfully fast, unless Georik had been under the delusion that his bodiless sister was alive... when she wasn't.

This had better not be true.

Jessica Fletcher is the killer. Every time.

See Murder She Wrote (this is the WMG link) for details.

The Air Nomads deserved to be wiped out.

The reason all Air Nomads are air benders isn't because of their deep spirituality, but because any children who don't demonstrate air bending abilities by a certain age are executed.

  • Even if that was true, it still wouldn't mean they deserved genocide; their own (surviving) children would still be innocent of their culture's wrongdoing.
    • The Fire Nation never attacked the Air Nomads' children during the attacks; the Air Nomads themselves killed their children when it became apparent that they were going to lose.
  • Worst part of these theories: the Fire Nation kidnapped young female Air Benders and proceeded to make them sex slaves, making their descendants lose all that power through the years. Ty Lee is a powerless half Air Nomad, half Fire Nation citizen, having lesser rights and more stripperiffic clothes. Squicky enough. The theory that all the powerless Air Nomads ran away to other nations is better.
    • The part with Ty-Lee makes no sense because she's clearly upper class, since she's hanging around the likes of Azula and Mai.
      • No, Ty Lee is Azula's slave according to the "one drop of airbender blood" rule. Palace slaves have to look classier than field slaves so they don't ruin the decor.
        • But Ty Lee is a daughter of a noble and part of a septuplet set.
          • The theory could still hold. When a noble sleeps with a slave, the children are gonna be slaves.
            • Depends on the culture's rules and taboos. In some cultures, it follows the father or the mother, or even the children of the owner are free simply because it's taboo to own your own kin. The last was true among the Norse, to the point where you have an enslaved princess being both the favorite wife of her owner-husband but also the mother of his favorite (free) son...

Every theory on this page is true.

Especially those that are mutually exclusive.

The previous theory is false.

Boa Hancock is Luffy's mom

Because, apparently, looking vaguely similar means you're related. You wouldn't believe how popular this theory was for a short time, despite having as much basis as the Shipping. It would be all kinds of horrifying and messed up, considering her love for Luffy and his probably being nearly half her age.

  • Given that there's a far more obvious and likely candidate (the woman running the tavern in his hometown), this just shows you how people WILL go for the freakout theories.
  • When Boa first appeared in the story, it seemed like every other person was screaming this from the top of their lungs despite the utter lack of evidence for it. Now this theory is Deader Than Disco; no one will admit to ever having believed it because of how stupid and unlikely it is in retrospect. The whole experience shows that there isn't any correlation between how much credible evidence supports a theory and how widely believed it is.
  • This is why Boa's falling for Luffy was a fandom-wide Crowning Moment of Funny. It finally crushed all desperate hopes that she was his mom and seriously angered a lot of overzealous anti-shippers. Two birds with one stone!
    • Even better is how Boa falling for Luffy had a better chance of happening and was a more realistic outcome, and yet virtually no one seriously believed it would happen.
    • It could be worse...
  • Why is this theory dead? Anyone heard of that Oedipus guy? Think about it: Boa is protecting Luffy, loves feeding him, and would give up her life so he can achieve his goals. She's not acting like a lover... She's acting like a mother. There, now please pass the Brain Bleach.

Crocodile is Luffy's mother.

No.

  • One Piece is just one of those series that would make this likely to happen in canon.

Delia is Ash's father.

And GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK is Ash's mother.And a Time Lord

Sheldon from U.S. Acres is anti-abortion propaganda.

He's not born yet, but he's a sentient being!

Everything that happens to Jack in At World's End is all in his head.

It was obvious that Jack was going crazy in the Locker, what with imagining a crew made entirely of Jack Sparrows. It's possible that he simply hallucinated everything afterwords. Oh, and everyone in the ship with Barbossa fell off the edge of the world and died.

  • Well, yeah, they did. Notice how they ended up in Davey Jones's Locker?

And about Elizabeth Swann? Her son was taken, but she wasn't, meaning one of these things:

  1. She was kept to be repeatedly raped.
  2. She killed herself to prevent that possibility, throwing herself into the sea to be reunited with Will Turner for eternity. (This theory is more romantic.)
  • Number two suits her character more. She wouldn't let herself be raped by a bunch of dirty nobodies.

Beckett/Sao Feng hates Jack Because....

  1. ...Of an out of control, escalating prank war that ended with Jack shaving Sao Feng's pubes. It's the burn that just keeps burnin'.
  2. Jack broke Beckett's heart:

Beckett: "And we each left out mark on the other."
Will: "And what mark did Jack leave on you?"
Beckett: * suspicious expression*

Jack: "It points to the thing you want most."
Beckett: "And what is that?"
Jack: "Me. Dead."

    • Waitwaitwaitwait....Beckett is a necrophiliac now?

Friends, the show, is set in a world with few black people

Far fewer black people then in our world.

  • The movie Notting Hill is set in the same universe. How else to explain the complete absence of black people in a neighborhood of London that has an annual carnival run by its residents to celebrate their Caribbean heritage?

Friends is set in a white neighborhood in one of these uber-racist states.

  • So New York is an uber-racist state now? It was made clear that that's where the series was set.

In the Friends universe, an extremely violent race riot destroyed Harlem and turned New York into a sundown town.

Jar-Jar is a Jedi

If Whedon can write in-canon comics, then Lucas can write one that says Jar-Jar is rich in the Force. They are already getting closer. One of the Star Wars: Clone Wars CGI episodes has a Clone Trooper using Jar-Jar's incompetence as a tactical advantage.

  • Jar-Jar's incompetence is a tactical advantage. It makes him a force of nature.
  • Good thing Power of Incompetence is a trope....
  • Jar-Jar, you're a genius!
  • The Star Wars website once ran a poll asking how you interpret Obi-Wan's claim that "In my experience, there's no such thing as luck". The two options were "He's leaning on that 'certain point of view' thing again" and "Jar-Jar is the greatest Force user ever."
    • It could just be that Obi-Wan's "experience" is pathetically limited. Maybe he needs to get out more. Go to Vegas. Gamble a bit.

There are plotholes between the Star Wars Original Trilogy and the prequels because they take place in alternate universes.

No one knows what happens before the OT or after the prequels.

  • What's Poison Oak about that? It's quite reassuring and a common fan theory.

Yes! Pretty Cure 5 is Nozomi hallucinating as she bleeds to death in a wrecked school bus.

The first episode featured Nozomi seeing most of the main characters just before getting on the bus or while she was on it. Then the bus suddenly jerked to a halt. This was the crash. Nozomi is so distressed by the knowledge that she's going to die before she even knows what she wants to do with her life that she rejects this reality entirely, coming up with a new one starring herself, the guy she met a few minutes ago, two other people on the bus, the girl from the poster, and the girl who was in the other vehicle.

Tony Bedard's and Andrew Kreisberg's writing of the Oracle/Black Canary dynamic in recent comics is a subtle and deep statement on relationships.

It was detailed by poster "bluefall" on a Scans Daily comment thread. The theory was entirely internally consistent and explained every known fact in all the relevant comics, and it was the only theory ever presented (so far) which could explain every fact in the comics. And most fans of Black Canary and/or Oracle would rather believe it's all Character Derailment.

  • Including Bluefall, mind, who hates Kreisberg passionately.

Yotsubato!: It's going to get worse. It's going to have a Downer Ending.

Either by Creator Breakdown or planned all along.

  • There was a doujin where all ended in an Apocalypse to then show Yotsuba and her dad (by pure luck, in his case) alive After the End, and the little one was considered a Super-Human. It was quite sad, but awesome at the same time.
    • Wait, you mean Yotsuba's hair is green because she grows up to be Alpha Hatsuseno?
  • Yotsuba will be taken away from Koi by social services. This happens beacuse of a new neighbor who sees him in his underwear hanging around with a little girl who, despite his claims of being his daughter, looks nothing like him.

Four Leaf Lover is Canon for Yotsubato!

Yotsubato!: Yotsuba is an Alien.

A green haired girl who was found by her foster father "somewhere" abroad? For all we know, he could have found her in a jungle pyramid built by aliens.

  • Alien jungle pyramid? But of course! Yotsuba is actually Hathor accidentally rejuvinated by Linea's "fountain of youth" gas which causes amnesia and makes you decades younger. Either she's lost her memory and will go on a rampage when the stargate program is made public and she starts regaining her memories, or she's already regained her memory and is cleverly manipulating those around her to become her unquestioning minions.

Koiwai is Killy and Yotsuba is the child with the Net Terminal Genes.

The Safeguard recreates 21st-century Japan (surely they have enough space) to help the child develop at a stress-free environment. Killy gets to be her guardian since she always clings to him. Old characters are recycled and tweaked to support the two and monitor the child's growth. These include Cibo (Asagi), Sana-Kan (Torako), Dhomo (Jumbo) and Seu (Yanda).

Those characters played by the same actor are the same person.

If there's additional logic behind it, well, sure. But if you're going to write a convoluted and illogical biography about how Truman Burbank became a pet detective and then a green Seussian monster and then The Riddler, that's just not clever.

  • To be fair, a convoluted and illogical biography is better then simply listing characters an actor has played and saying they're the same person.
  • How about this one? Joe Kline works with the Flash in Central City, runs into some trouble, and ends up reassigned to Metropolis as Inspector Henderson, where he works with Clark Kent/Superman and Lois Lane. After he gets into trouble there, he's sought out by the Baltimore City Police Department, where he becomes a member of the Homicide Division for six years, continuing to work with strange cases on his side time. He then becomes a member of the Manhattan Special Victims Unit. After this many years in police work with the weirdest of crimes and cases, it's only natural that one day, when something strange enough has happened, he'd want to run for President - and make it - and that, boys and girls, is why Richard Belzer is the U.S. President in Species II.
  • It is possible for Truman Burbank to be a per detective, Mr. Grinch, and the Riddler. You know why? He was been given all the power of God.
  • Cedric Diggory didn't die, he became Edward Cullen. And Sirius Black didn't die either, he became Commissioner Gordon.
  • In which case, Johnny Storm isn't just the fireball from the Fantastic Four. He has a secret identity. He's really Captain America.
  • Dick Loudin and Bob Hartley are the same—even though the one is just the dream of the other...
  • James Bond is the father of Indiana Jones.
  • Holy crap on a cracker! That means that Seely Booth IS Angel! That's why he's so mysterious all the time, why he's such an oddball, AND why he's trying to atone for killing people as a sniper - he Shanshued, the Powers That Be resurrected him as a human, and he's STILL screwing up!
  • And Quackerjack is Raziel! That explains so m-..um.. okay, maybe that one's a fail.

Pete Abrams has no clue what Oasis is.

He's just making stuff up for her as he goes along, and we will never find out what she is, how her programming works, or why she's so important. The series will end with Oasis as one giant "?"

  • Fortunately, Jossed. Although not everything's clear yet, the week of June 7 revealed a big piece of the puzzle—enough by itself to keep her from being just a question mark when the series ends. It's something that no-one was expecting, but it does fit in retrospect.

None of this matters.

We're picking apart and analysing make-believe.

  • Just because it's make-believe doesn't mean it doesn't matter, only that it doesn't matter to you.

It all matters

Anyone who saya otherwise is trying to keep us from reaching the truth. It's a government conspiracy.

It anti-matters.

And it will cause your brain to explode if you think about it.

Every series currently in production will be unexpectedly cancelled or Gainaxed.

The networks decided to cut the newer series rather than the less popular series after the writers' strike when their ratings went down from people dropping the habit of watching TV. Every fun show will either be abruptly cancelled (The Middleman, Pushing Daisies) or fall to fatal Cerebus Syndrome (Psych, SpongeBob). Older shows that thrive on each season being the last, such as ER, won't be renewed. Only reality shows and cartoons that haven't been funny for the last decade will survive. Then the economy will collapse because nobody watches commercials any more, and the suicide rate will rise to over 95%. The last few humans will become feral cannibals, all because the Executive Meddlers did not pay attention to what was popular.

  • Add very old soap operas to the list of nonsense that will survive. This may soon be true for every series on ITV, which is cutting back on its drama department (The Bill, for instance, has been cut back to once a week, but has been made Hotter and Sexier as a trade-off) and is instead focusing on Reality Television programming. In the last half-decade, we have seen the axe of weekday CITV, instead choosing to focus on the CITV Channel, which airs mostly cartoons (and live action shows) that haven't been funny in the last decade.
  • Mmmm, Gainax- oh.

Glitch and Azkedellia have some sort of strange relation to Fiyero and Elphaba, perhaps reincarnation of some sort

Look at Tin Man fanfiction. When Cain's too busy snogging D.G. to notice Glitch, Glitch is too busy snogging the other princess to pay attention to Cain. This level of ignorance of the Official Couple is extreme even for Fanfic. And half the time, when Glitch/Az is mentioned, it's "Oh! We're the Wicked canon couple reincarnated/in disguise/because we're time lords who made ourselves human in that first life/whatever."

In the next chapter of the Fullmetal Alchemist manga, Envy will transform into Hawkeye, there will be a huge explosion, and Roy will forget which Hawkeye is which and kill the real one.

  • Jossed. Envy's dead, and Riza's still alive.

The Joker is the way older Calvin.

To quote a certain anonymous troper, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO! NONONONONO! *whimper*..."

  • He became a psychopathic killer after his parents, concerned with his childish attachment to a stuffed animal, destroyed Hobbes in front of him to prove a point.

You wanna know how I got these scars?

  • No, Calvin and Hobbes become "Jack" and Tyler Durden...
  • Calvin fell into the tiger pit at a young age, causing permanent brain damage and putting him into a coma. Everything that happens in the comic is in his head while he sits connected to a life support machine in a hospital somewhere.

In a similar vein, Calvin's ultimate fate is this

"Congratulations, you've written the single most depressing WMG ever."

THIS is Calvin's ultimate fate.

It is the most depressing WMG regarding Calvin's future.

As the "Casper" movie makes it quite clear that "Casper" died after contracting pneumonia whilst sledging, we can infer that Casper is the ghost of Calvin

Given that Hobbes's ghost conspicuously never appears, we can also definitively answerer the debate as to whether animals have souls: No. You’re welcome.

  • Hobbes is a rare Mongolian stuffed tiger; his soul was replaced with fluff by genetics.

Casper is the ghost of Charlie Brown, who was bald as he was dying of cancer.

Similar to the Joker being the adult Calvin, Cerebus the Aardvark is the adult Arthur

It doesn't make much sense, but this IS Dave Sim.

"Normal Again" is right, and Buffy is dreaming the whole Buffyverse.

The sixth and seventh seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer happened exactly as filmed. Especially the wall bangers.

Joss Whedon is a cruel god.

At least some of the One Piece shippers, despite common sense, will turn out to have been right all along.

Maybe they all are right.

The Tenth Doctor has no superpowers, expertise with technology, or alien heritage

He is just a very lucky, very hammy, very crazy human.

  • Jossed, fortunately. We saw The Ninth Doctor regenerate into The Tenth Doctor. And we saw the Tenth Doctor grow a hand back in his first major appearance, too.
  • ...and the show is an Unreliable Narrator. So There.

The Ninth Doctor was "youthened" into an infant by the Heart of the TARDIS just like Margaret Blaine.

Since Time Lords age differently than humans, his infant form—the form we mistakenly call "Ten"—looks like a young human. Unfortunately, while this might have made him cute, it also nullified centuries of hard-won experience and wisdom. This is why his behavior became so erratic.

It also explains why he seems to have suddenly acquired an unironic interest in human women. He imprinted on Rose like a baby duck, and her romantic advances (which any previous Doctor would have brushed aside with a joke) fed into an Oedipal complex.

Time Lords get physically younger with each regeneration.

The reason they don't have more than 12 is that, after #12, they regenerate into separate sperm and egg.

  • It gets worse. The reason the Doctor always seems to have a female travelling companion around is because, if he ever gets killed so many times in quick succession that he reverts to a sperm and egg, the sperm and egg can impregnate his companion, and he'll be reborn with his full number of regenerations and all his old memories. The eleventh Doctor didn't accidentally leave Amy Pond at her young age and skip to her when she's old enough to get married; he did it intentionally so that he had a woman around who was capable of being pregnant if he needed to be born again. The reason he responds more to his companion's advances as he regenerates younger and younger is because as he gets closer to the sperm and egg stage, he wants to be more certain that his companions are physically and mentally mature enough for pregnancy. Companions like Ace were more like an investment for the far future.
    • Unfortunately, this troper just realized that this actually explains Amy's schrodiger Pregnancy as of the doctor's death in The Impossible Astronaut.

The 12th Doctor will be in the form of a 10 year old human, or a 10 month old human.

Tashigi is Kuina's long lost twin sister.

This is one of the more commonly believed explanations for her existence. If the Wild Mass Guessing page is any indication, then we have more reason to believe that Tashigi IS Kuina. And let's be honest...this theory is lame. Fandom DOES prefer the strange freak-out theories to the more obvious and likely ones.

  • Is it okay to want Zoro to be reunited with his best friend? His back story is so sad...
  • WHY SHOULDN'T HE MIRACULOUSLY FIND HIS BEST FRIEND AGAIN?! DON'T YOU PEOPLE HAVE HEARTS?!
  • It's not a lack of heart. Ever heard of this trope? Just ask the Naruto fans who were so sure for a while that Anyone Can Die.
  • All moot. According to Oda, it is just a coincidence.
    • Again, Oda once said that he saw a kappa. Therefore, we can't trust anything he says.

The Zutarians were right; Maiko was written solely to pair Zuko off with someone else.

....LIKE WORMS CRAWLING UNDER MY SKIN.

  • Pfft, I'm glad about that. (Is a Kata Aang shipper) So there.

Mike and Bryan never wanted all the Filler and Fan Service in season 3 of Avatar: The Last Airbender.

They were forced to do it because of Executive Meddling; the execs wanted to hook in the Periphery Demographic, and some people disliked the less episodic season 2.

This is the reason it took so long for the third season to air.

The possibility makes you wonder, don't it?

Mike and Bryan were forced to add filler and Fan Service to the third season of every television show that lasted that long.

Or maybe just the third season of every television show on Nickelodeon.

Mike and Bryan were sick of Avatar: The Last Airbender by early third season, and doing the stuff above was the only thing keeping them sane.

Azula forced Mike and Bryan to add the filler and fanservice

Wait, why are you laughing?

When John Ratzenberger dies, Pixar movies will stop being good.

They say he's their lucky charm, and he seems to be a good one. Still, he'll die someday.

  • This isn't unrealistic. It's all but inevitable that Pixar will eventually make genuine stinkers. And often, a company goes through some weirdness when one of its head execs is gone.
  • Ratzenburger isn't anything resembling a head exec. They did lose their head exec, John Lasseter (he's head of Disney Animation now); since then, they made Ratatouille, Wall-E, and Up, and so Pixar's all right without him. Before then, they lost important creative personnel here and there, and they're not the biggest company, so it's amazing that they persisted. But Ratzenberger is special... just because.
    • Lasseter is the head of Disney Animation, which includes Pixar. They haven't lost him, he's just in charge of more things.

Every character in all of fiction, and all Real Life people throughout history, are Time Lords.

With the sole exception of the Doctor, who isn't. They're just humouring him. His little 'last of the Time Lords' angst bit is so cute!

  • This one's plausible. If you think about it, everyone is technically a time traveler: we're going forward in time at a 1:1 ratio. Time Lords are time travelers. Therefore, Insane Troll Logic insists that all living creatures are Time Lords. Including the Clock Roaches and, if we include fiction, the Daleks.
  • The Emperor Dalek in "City of the Daleks," having claimed The Eye of Time, claims that the Daleks ARE indeed now Time Lords...

Viagra is made from Smurfs

Explains why Gargamel is so eager to catch them. (He now works for Pfizer.)

Everything Ask That Guy says is true.

He's not insane.He sees the world for how it is.

The Chronicles of Fate is Real Life, and Real Life isn't.

It is. It'll turn out to be this way. You'll see.

The Monster in the Darkness is Zorc.

The Monster in the Darkness is a Grue.

The Monster in the Darkness is a large black lump with beady yellow eyes.

Rich Burlew will lose interest and kill off the entire Order while they are going under a stone bridge.

Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies.

All of Amaterasu's adveture were her dying hallucinations, and she is a normal dog.

Amaterasu is just a normal dog who's dying and hallucinating in her final moments. Eveyone she meets in the game are people who'd been in her life in one way or another; what role they have indicates what relationship they had with her.

  • ...Please, no. It... it makes sense (what with the slightly mangled legends and all), but... please don't let it be true.

Super Smash Bros. Brawl is Old Snake's deathbed hallucination in which he recalls the joy of battle.

We know from The Twin Snakes that Otacon is a Nintendo fan; therefore, Snake certainly knows all the characters in this game, if only by osmosis. He dresses like he did during the best years of his life, but it's his beloved support team from Metal Gear Solid who help him. He's remembering the pleasure of slaughtering his enemies, channelled into the pleasure of beating up Samus Aran with a paper fan. Maybe Otacon slipped a hallucinogenic painkiller into his drip to ease him off.

In 2012...

The world won't end—it will reset back to the beginning of the Mayan calendar. The world has been trapped in a gigantic time loop for who knows how many eons, and until one of us invents Time Travel and stops the Mayans from inventing their calendar in the first place, we will continue to play out the same events over and over and over. . .

Ayu in Kanon did die seven years ago.

She was just a ghost, not an astral projection or whatever. Yuichi simply fell into another delusion because he couldn't bear losing her again when she vanished the second time. He already gave himself Laser-Guided Amnesia last time; now he's just living in a dream world.

ZUN will die of alcohol poisoning.

The man is almost never seen without a beer, and many scenes from official works show the cast drinking heavily. In particular, Aya, the character mocked for being his girlfriend or self-insert, is second only to Suika in drinking. Speaking of, Aya mentions in her interview with Reimu that humans cannot tolerate alcohol as much as yokai...a subconscious cry for intervention?

Wild ARMs 3 essentially ended after the events at Yggdrasil.

The reason for a certain Giant Space Flea From Nowhere and all-too-familiar demon coming into play? Everything from that point out was Virginia's Dying Dream. Werner's cure for that nanomachine infection initially appeared to work, letting her return temporarily to health; but in the end... he failed his daughter again, and this time in a far worse way than the whole Parental Abandonment deal.

Every Wild Mass Guessing theory is true.

Even these.

Every Wild Mass Guessing theory is wrong.

Even this one.

Orihime is going to die a pointless and tragic death in Bleach

Given that, so far, all her attempts to help Ichigo have ended in failure, and given that she failed to do anything after Ulquiorra temporarily killed him), she may try to sacrifice herself to protect Ichigo—only for that to prove useless, too. As she lies dying, she will realize that everyone forgot about the Hogyoku (the Artifact of Doom she had planned to destroy with her powers after the villains' defeat). She will then make one last confession of love to Ichigo, who will say that he loves her, too. She may not know whether he means it, but she will die with some measure of relief that he cares about her even though she could do nothing for him.

Bleach, Naruto, and One Piece will all have Downer Endings.

And those endings will overshadow all the fun, exciting escapism.

  • There is no One Piece treasure. They will come to the end of their journey and realize it doesn't exist.
  • Naruto will try to have a downer ending, but this downer ending will involve Sasuke dying. An Esoteric Happy Ending in reverse?
    • Except, unless this happens after his coming back, there's the problem that Naruto stated that he's not going to become Hokage or advance his romantic relationship with anyone until he's fulfilled the promise he made. If he is unable to fulfill it...

Eventually, all the greed and ambition in the One Piece world will create a horrible Eldritch Abomination that will consume everything beautiful and precious.

Sweet dreams, kids!

  • This is exactly what the Dirty Commies predicted. Capitalism will be the end of us all!!!
  • This would make King of Bandit Jing a sequel (Jing defeats this monster in episode 2)...


After the ending of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle, because time flows differently in each dimension, the boys will come back to find...

Everyone long dead. Including Sakura.

Belldandy is mentally retarded.

Think about it. She's completely oblivious to the trouble she causes Keiichi. Her entire job involves working with humans, but she has almost no idea of what humans are like. She is completely ignorant of the ways of humans and of life on Earth. She is unable to determine the motives of others, even when they're obvious. She never considers that someone might have ulterior motives or might be lying to her, even if they have before. She willingly invites a self-declared enemy (who has tried to seal her before and almost destroyed the world) into her house for lunch.

Heaven knows this, which is why her contract with Keiichi was approved even though it is extremely unusual (Peorth laughed at the very thought of such a contract receiving approval).

That is also why she was given a little more time on Earth even when the contract was destroyed. That's why the Almighty One was willing to look the other way when his subordinates were breaking the rules to try and restore it. Heaven simply wants her gone.

  • No. To put it simply, Belldandy isn't retarded, she's naïve. For one example, a retarded person would have let Aoshima rape her, thinking it was all fun and games. Belldandy probably thought that at first, but when she realized she was about to be violated, she ripped Aoshima a new one, and didn't hold back. The difference between "retarded" and "naïve" is "literally being unable to know better" and just plain "not knowing better because of idealism". In Belldandy's own words, "I want to believe that everyone has a dark side, and a side of light. I want to believe in the light." That came from the Ninja Master Arc in the manga, where Urd responded with, "...And if Keiichi gets hurt because of it... What then?" "If that danger appears, then I'll protect him... with my life." She gives people the benefit of the doubt, even when that doubt is cast aside, because it's the duty of a goddess, especially a wish-granting one, to spread joy throughout Earth. In other words, she's not a mental retard, she's a dedicated professional whose job is to minimize suffering and maximize joy. When she realizes that someone is about to commit an evil act, she won't hesitate to stop them, but she will never go overboard. -colBoh

All character stereotypes are true.

All ditzy Cloudcuckoolanders are literally mentally retarded and perhaps schizophrenic. All Tsunderes have anger-management issues and need Ritalin and perhaps some time in a straitjacket and padded cell. All Heterosexual Life Partners who are often seen together, never seem to interact with the opposite sex (at least while on-camera), or live together are gay lovers. All people who act like Yanderes (even in a non-romantic sense) are deranged StepfordSmilers who will soon go on an Ax Crazy rampage.

This song (lyrics) describes the future of the cast of Peanuts.

  • My childhood just died.

Jade stuffed and mounted her Grandfather.

Clearly, someone did, and there doesn't seem to be anyone living on that island except for a thirteen-year-old girl and her dog. It doesn't matter what kind of awesome reality-bending powers Becquerel has; only one of them has thumbs, and OH GOD NO.

The memoirs of Ciaphas Cain are a heavily-fictionalized version of Caiphas' memoirs, in particular his nobler qualities and relationship with Amberley....written by Vail herself as in-universe fanfiction.

Amberley had a one-sided crush on the (probably incorrigible scoundrel) Cain. Her footnotes and "editing" of his memoirs have been heavily altered to include her own fantasy relationship with her crush.

Because this would destroy one of the brighter, more human, and more endearing relationships between likable characters in the Warhammer 40,000 universe, this would be awful—and yet hilariously in keeping with its obsession with Grimdark.

Please let it not be true. Damn you, brain.

Worse. Ciaphas Cain is a dangerous unsanctioned Psycher.

His success is not the product of quick thinking and remarkable dumb-luck. He's subconsciously manipulating the universe with his warp powers, sacrificing the lives of others to keep himself alive without knowing.

That explains Amberley's interest in him, why she wants to use him occasionally and keep a close eye on him, and why she insists he keep Jergen near him to soak up and nullify his malign influence as much as possible. She's editing his memoirs to hide this from other inquisitors and faking her side of the romance to maintain an excuse to check in on him when she has no Inquisitorial reason to. And as soon as he's outlived his usefulness, she'll be there waiting with a boltgun...

  • Cain would have to be an Omicron-Kappa psyker if he's not aware of it.

Tsukasa is mentally retarded.

Nothing debilitating, but when's the last time you saw a teenage girl as childish as her?

Carcer was innocent, at least in the beginning.

We never see him kill anybody on page, do we? If you accept that the three witnesses at the pie shop misidentified Stronginthearm's killer, that he joined the Particulars because it'd be safer than working against them, and that somebody else gave him the ear before he gave it to Nobby, then everything else he does could be read as him just acting in self-defense. But if that were true...ugh. No.


ET grows up to be the Prophet of Truth

Prophets canonically have centuries-long lifespans, which makes it possible for the same individual to live through the twentieth century into the 2500s. ET is an infant, which explains why he remembers none of it.

Elliott is the Master Chief.

After the events of ET, they put him in witness relocation. He, being a Weirdness Magnet, became the kid in Flight of the Navigator, which slowed down his aging. The MIBs got to him after that and left him even more confused and angry about aliens.

The Orks are the good guys.

Because that theory is just too awesome to be true.

After all, Humanity is a bunch of xenophobes ruled by a dictator (read: space nazis), the Eldar are jackasses, the Dark Eldar are even worse, the Necrons are simply omnicidal, and everything chaos-related is purely insane. The Tyrannids could be forgiven as animals running on instinct if they weren't clearly too cunning and intelligent to be mere beasts. The Tau used to be good guys until a certain company decided they weren't GRIMDARK enough and made them into bastards as well.

Therefore, the only side left that isn't entirely, knowingly, pure hateful evil is da Orkz! Sure they'll kill you, but not because they hate your guts or because of some secretive plot. They just do it because it's fun.

  • You sure this is a Poison Oak Epileptic Tree?
    • It's de absolute troof it iz! Any clear minded individual can see that the Orks are the scrappy underdogs of the40k Universe and it's rightful and natural inheritors. The Eldar had their chance and flubbed it. The Humans are too freaking self-pityingly Emo to deserve it. Chaos just wants to rape everything. The Necrons just want to destroy everything. The Tyranids just want to eat everything. And the Tau are just too naively stupid. Face it, the Universe was created for the Orks by their kind and benevolent gods, Gork and Mork. Or possibly Mork and Gork. Eitherway, it's the most perfect universe that could ever exist, constantly filled with new and interesting creatures to fight!

Roland's real plan is to topple the Dark Tower in order to Mercy Kill the universe.

Think about it. He knows how bad things have gotten. The revised edition of The Gunslinger tells us that he's not reluctant to commit a mercy kill.

Roland has Asperger's syndrome or is otherwise non-neurotypical.

That would explain a lot.

Every theory in TV Tropes' Real Life Wild Mass Guess is false, foolish, and a delusion

TV Tropes is JUST FOR FUN and contains no relevant content whatsoever

It was all a joke used by trolls to ruin your life.

It's not true, it's not true...

There are North Korean Digidestined in the Digimon 02 universe. And their lives suck.

Word of God says every country has Digidestined. Most fanfic authors gleefully take this concept and produce season one/two recycled in France/Spain/etc. But "every country" includes North Korea.

The best case scenario is that the Digidestined get into the Digital World and illegally cross the border into a safer country. The worst case scenario... Well, try not to think about it too hard.

In Iron Man: Armored Adventures, Obadiah Stane is physically abusive to his daughter, if not outright sexually abusive.

Whitney loves her father. She always, always wants to be with him. She is forever trying to get him to spend time with her and is willing to switch schools if that's what he wants.

He has apparently gotten her expensive purses and other things in the past.

But he is a Complete Monster towards her, calling her petty and her problems shallow, having her thrown out of his building when she tries to talk to him, ignoring her constantly, and lashing out at her verbally whenever they interact.

If they weren't related, then Stane would seem like an abusive boyfriend. Perhaps he sort of is.

It gets worse when you realize that he has little guilt about treating her like crap and just buys her things (kickboxing lessons, clothes, purses) instead of spending time with her. Her utter devotion to him is a Relationship Writing Fumble in some episodes—she comes across like his wife more than his daughter.

The conclusion is that Obadiah is almost definitely physically abusive - he's got the personality, and all the warning signs are there - and there's a strong possibility of incest.

Suddenly Whitney's fear and insane devotion make freakish sense.

Neon Genesis Evangelion happens in Adolf Hitler's mind

  • Shinji is Wangsty childhood Hitler.
  • Asuka is the current personality Hitler built to suppress his Shinji-like childhood personality. Asuka's harsh treatment of Shinji and the "German-Japanese" (aka Axis) nationality (Hitler, on the other hand, was Austrian) lampshades this.
    • How does this explain Asuka's American citizenship?
  • Gendo is the twisted fusion of his abusive father, Alois, and the dictator Hitler we knew and hated.
  • Rei / Eva 01 / Lilith / Yui are all versions of his caring mother, who then died but became the fuel to his rise to power.
  • The Eva series (and the Angels) are the powers of the Aryan Race rationalized by Hitler as 'Gods on Earth', and were named after his loved one, Eva Braun. The Evas were binded to limited power sources, mirroring how Germany during the Great Depression was forced to live on limited resources (unlike the other races) until the coming of Hitler. The war against the Angels is actually the construction and unification of the Aryan Race.
  • The AT Field is actually his Aryan-supremacy ideals that were portrayed as an existentialism-based force field. As explained once, he believed Aryans (Angels, Evas) have stronger darwinistic tendencies (AT Fields) than other races, which means they should be deciding the fate of Humanity.
  • Seele is the Elders of Zion living in and controlling Germany and the world as he saw it, and Gendo betraying Seele mirrors how Nazi Germany betrayed the Allies, which he believed was controlled by a Jewish Mysticism-based Omniscient Council of Vagueness. Hitler believed the Omniscient Council of Vagueness should not decide the fate of mankind.
  • Nerv personnel are all Nazis.
  • The Lance of Longinus is well, the Real Life Lance of Longinus.
  • The Impacts represent the Reichs, respecively. Adam is the Roman Empire, who first claimed all of Europe / Earth, while Lilith is the Germanic tribes, they stole Europe / Earth from Adam / Rome. The First Impact, when Lilith stole Earth from Adam? The Holy Roman Empire, or First Reich. The Second Impact represents Germany during World War One, also known as the Second Reich. After the Second Impact, what happened? Crapsack World, Dysfunction Junction, and angst, angst, ANGST!!! Basically, a great depression. Third Impact is of course the Third Reich, the empire of Nazi Germany.
    • This also explains why Gendo betrayed Seele: Remember in the earlier explanation that Gendo is dictator Hitler while Seele is the Allies. First, the Allies agreed to give Hitler what he wanted, assimilation of Germanic countries such as Austria, in other words, the Allies agreed for a controlled Third Reich. However, Hitler betrayed the Allies, wanting a Third Reich for himself. The result: World War Two. By replacing Hitler with Gendo, the Allies with Seele, and the Third Reich with Third Impact, isn't World War Two scarily similar to End of Eva?
  • End of Evangelion is World War Two and Hitler's final, violent breakdown (which explains the High Octane Nightmare Fuel). The dismemberment of Asuka by the MP Evas is actually the slow destruction of tough-looking Nazi Germany and the paranoid, schizophrenic, Angsty personality of Hitler haunting him again (see also: Downfall). Instrumentality, on the other hand, is Hitler's suicide: Instead of surrendering to the 'inferior races' and 'communists', he rejected the future the 'inferior races' provided, believing it is a false, corrupt happiness. Asuka returning to Shinji is actually Hitler having his tough side back after committing suicide. And the Crapsack World? It's actually Hell. Apparently Hitler decided for painful existential darwinism instead of 'inferior' egalitarianism.
  • So, it's Nazi Germany Evangelion? Holy shit. Even the name matches.
  • To the person who came up with this: You have a sick, sick mind.
  • You know what would be almost as screwed-up as this WMG—or even more so? An AMV of Downfall using "Komm Susser Tod".
    • But Downfall Hitler is not much different from Shinji Ikari, isn't he?

If Adolf Hitler is Shinji Ikari, and Grand Unifying Guesses and other WMGs say that everything takes place with Shinji involved in it, then EVERYTHING that happened had Hitler involved in it.

Specifically, Hitler is Shinji, Haruhi Suzumiya and a Time Lord, Eva is Eva, his mother is Yui, and Germany is the God-Emperor of Mankind. Also, concerning Instrumentality, this means all of existence is just Hitler's messed-up fantasies.

Ichigo is a figment of Orihime's imagination

That explains why Ichigo became Bleach's local badass and why Orihime was impossibly Moe Moe even though she had Cosmic power that could rival that of an Eldritch Abomination.

The real Orihime had a Badass attitude and a power that can make both Haruhi Suzumiya and God of The Bible look like average people. But she misused her power and caused her brother's death. Because of this, she rejected and 'suppressed' some of her powers. (The entire power cannot reject itself, since that would cause an unstoppable force to meet an immovable object).

The excess (aka the negative, destructive aspects), however, had to go somewhere. Ultimately, it created Ichigo. Physical Ichigo also tried to suppress the powers inside him; but when Ichigo was almost transformed into Hollow Ichigo, the full' potential of "Ichigo being Orihime's clone" was released, causing the Badassitude to be multiplied Beyond the Impossible and became an independent Eldritch Abomination.

  • That is just the beginning of the tale. Soul Society is a figment of Orihime's imagination.
  • Lampshaded when Hollow Ichigo's power was multiplied after Ulquiorra almost kills Ichigo in the Fake Karakura Town arc, causing Orihime to panic.
  • Oh yeah, and both Ichigo and Orihime have orange hair.
  • Further supported by Aizen's extreme interest, first in Orihime then in Ichigo, and with testing/developing their powers. Also by his claim that he has known about Ichigo 'since he was born'. Come to think of it, didn't Shinji say the same thing to Aizen when he was still a captain? What if Aizen is also a figment of Orihime's imagination like Ichigo is? He did perform a similar hollow transformation before he was sealed, after all

Captain Jonathan Archer looks nothing like Scott Bakula.

Dr Samuel Beckett leaped into him before the start of the series and got trapped there; that's why he never got home.

Sadly, we never see the real Archer—either what he looked like or how he would have behaved.

All unspecified high schools in the US are the same school.

Even the named ones are just different wings of the same school.

The Animorphs have to put up with that Cullen tosser and those annoying High School Musical people in their class. Then they will all die when the Soviets land on the lawn outside. Except Cullen. That's how bad it is.

  • Technically, the Animorphs could morph to birds and fly away. Those seclusive Cullens and the Musical people are still dead. Zach Morris escaped by calling out time. No one knows where The Glee Club went, though, not even the local psychic.
    • I would pay to see this movie.
    • Seconded. Isn't this section supposed to be for theories you don't want to happen?

James Bond is a Time-Lord

That's why he never dies and appears to periodically regenerate.

James Bond is The Master and is corrupting MI 6 from the inside.

James Bond is a code-name give to anyone who has the 007 designation

That's why his appearance periodically changes and M, Q and Monnypenny never comment on it: they are perfectly aware that the previous Bond has died and a new sucker has been given the job.

  • M, Q, and Moneypenny are ALSO code names given to whomsoever holds the position, which is why the name stays the same whilst the people change.. and in M's case they even change gender..
  • The old Casino Royale from the 1960s used the multiples theory. Count the Bonds!

Aizen is Orihime's father or created her.

This would explain how Aizen knows about Orihime's power.

Ichigo didn't leak his reiatsu into her for her to gain such powers; she's a Reality Warper, and Aizen's shikai makes him a Master of Illusion. And Aizen built an artificial sky in Hueco Mundo.

It also explains how Aizen has also being keeping tabs on Ichigo, the abusive history of Orihime, why Orihime lacks confidence, and why she didn't destroy the Hogyoku.

If she was merely created by Aizen, then she would have been his eyes and ears for much of Ichigo's life. Aizen would have considered himself perfectly reasoned in abducting her to Hueco Mundo, and her name would be even more meaningful -- "Orihime" is Japanese for "Weaving Princess", and Aizen's aim is to "stand on top of the heavens" as in the Tanabata tale. Ighigo would be Hikoboshi.

It is canon that Aizen has been running a Xanatos Roulette around Ichigo. If he can do that, then he can do this.

Aizen is Ichigo's father.

The theory is detailed in this fanfic.

Can't. UNTHINK.

The extra-galactic enemy Emperor Palpatine may or may not have been building The Empire to resist in the expanded Universe was the Tyranids!

The Star Wars galaxy was the one they ate before heading to the 40k Milky Way.

Freefall and Jack take place in the same universe, and Dr Bowman is a pseudonym used by Dr Kane.

Florence Ambrose is Central. She was killed by Mr. Kornada; because she felt guilty about being part of Sam's criminal activities, she went to purgatory and re-incarnated on earth in time to grow up with Jack.

  • Or Florence is Jill. Nothing else needs to change.
  • The aliens in the Jack arc "Debts" are what the human colonists on Jean evolve into after they are cut off when human civilisation falls on earth. They know what happened to the humans of earth, and that's why they hate furries.
  • Sam in Freefall is Nyarlathotep, sowing anarchy and madness amongst those Earthmen foolish enough to plough the stars in preparation for the coming of his dark master¦


The entire plot of Digger is, as Digger initially feared, a hallucination Digger is having.

She has been poisoned by cave gas. She tunnels slower and slower in smaller and smaller circles, dying by inches, miles from the sun.

The entire plot of Digger is Ed's hallucination.

After decades in exile, Ed has finally snapped and imagined a wombat about his daughter's age who has come from a far away world to befriend him as he sits completely, totally alone in his cave, talking to himself as he slowly starves to death, his passing un-mourned by the world.

Jhalm is right

Digger is a pawn of evil, and the Shadowchild is an Eldritch Abomination from outside of time.

All women have Vagina Dentata. No exceptions. They're just biding their time.

  • Well then, Have I Mentioned I Am Asexual Today?
  • You think that will help? The toothed part of the vagina is capable of detaching itself from its female host and roaming independently seeking prey for up to seven days an month. Women have an Ancient Conspiracy to hide this, involving an elaborate and implausible cover story called "menstruation". They're out there as we speak, lurking in the shadows. They are dexterous and clever enough to pick locks, can squeeze thought the smallest hole, have access to a parallel horror dimension that allows them to travel instantaneously, unseen, the entrances to which are hidden in the folds in your shower-curtain and blankets, and they can fly.
  • It gets worse. You know how some nations are anthropomorphised as female? That's right, some countries have toothed genitalia. Look at the evidence: Germany, the fatherland, one of the few male nations: In the forties it tried to have its wicked way with the Soviet Union (the motherland), the UK (Britannia, female) and the United States (Columbia, female) and as a direct result permanently lost the ability to project power and penetrate other countries. Thankfully, after exhaustive testing involving feeding small, unpopular nations to the United States we have determined where in the US the teeth are. Richmond: That's right people, Virginia Dentata!
  • Of course! That explains so much! North Carolina! South Carolina! Georgia! They're there to stop it biting of Florida!
    • ... that may have been the most epic thing I've ever read. Also, this troper proposes that what uninitiated women describe as a menstrual period is simply the toothed device being shed (with the requisite bleeding) and exiting the body in the night to wreak havoc.
      • Female troper here. We bleed because of the teeth physically detaching themselves from our bodies. This is also the reason why some women claim to have cramps; they're more sensitive to the process and thus they experience more pain. The bleeding also serves as a handy deterrent to our lovers. It means they don't lose their genitalia during the period of time that the teeth are most active, because we usually refrain from sexual activity at that time. Of course, now you know all this, your genitalia will have to be removed. I hope you gents own chastity belts!

In revenge for the above, all men have evolved spines on their penises.

Similar to real-life big cats (cougars, lions, and tigers).

The Genitalia Arms Race will be the death of humanity.

After the fanged vaginas and spine-ed penises, all hell breaks loose. The vaginal canals will be full of unspeakable combinations of sawblades, churning gears, razor-sharp fangs and sundry other Freudian horrors, all while flowing with boiling acid and the stench of a million graves and spawning impregnating facehuggers and Eldritch Abominations. The penises will be covered with drills, spikes, hammers, nukes, high-calibre gatling cannons, mechanical tentacles, and ejaculate flaming napalm all while playing heavy rock and roll and powered by Spiral Energy. The vagina of that woman shall come in a day when he looketh not for her, and in an hour that he is not aware of, And shall cut his penis asunder, and appoint him his portion with the hypocrites. There shall be weeping and gnashing of vagina-teeth.

Your Senator or elected representative is a porn star.

And not the good kind.

  • Note that, if you live in Massachusetts, you have a senator who posed nude for Playgirl.

The Doombots have formed a Hive Mind.

The original Victor Von Doom died decades ago and has not come back. No-one noticed.

Dreamworks's Robots takes place in the same universe as the Terminator fillms.

Looks like John Connor wasn't quite good enough.

Pixar's Cars takes place in the Terminator 'verse after Skynet worked out how to interface with Sat-Navs.

Cars takes place in the universe of Maximum Overdrive.

The Game is a sentient non-corporeal being.

Every time you lose The Game, it gets a little stronger...

The Game was invented by Nyarlathotep.

Every time you lose The Game, Cthulhu gets a little closer to waking and eating the earth.

Every time you lose The Game, God kills a puppy.

The Doctor is not a Time Lord.

He's just a homeless man squatting in a phone booth, and hallucinating crazy adventures in time and space because he's off his meds.

Groundhog Day ends with Phil going insane

The despair of going back to zero, or rather to 6:59 AM on February 2, after his perfect day is too much for him. Trapped in the time loop forever, hearing "I Got You Babe" on the clock radio again, Phil just gave in to delusions.

The Poison Oak Epileptic Trees are the only correct Wild Mass Guesses.

It's a Crapsack World, after all...

Shinji Ikari is God.

..in Real Life. Everyone was redeuced to LCL and made equal, but Shinji retained his identity. It is obvious that in most cases the most recognized people are worshipped as Gods. Shinji, being the only person alive, began to rename the world under himself. Shinji choking Asuka is actually either him preventing any rival to his position, or forcing her to become his new slave. Meanwhile, Giant Naked Rei fell to the ground, spilling pieces of Adam onto the LCL. Without food, Shinji was forced to suck juices out of the LCL, and accidentally sucked the souls from it, giving him more power over his AT Field to the point that he also absorbed Adam from the former Giant Naked Rei corpse, granting him both AT Field and Anti-AT Field control, causing him to became a Reality Warper and therefore created a more mediocre reality: Real Life. The live action sequence in End of Evangelion? It's actually a foreshadowing of Shinji creating Real Life.

  • God is Angsty. That explains Hitler.
    • And the Old Testament.

The last Mega Man game will end with Dr. Wily winning.

It's the only explanation that makes sense.

Mega Man will become Zeroth Law Compliant and slag Wily.

Wily's death will then release Zero. The Cataclysm ensues.

Inafune was lying.

In the event that there is a Catcher in The Rye movie, Robert Pattinson will play Holden Caulfield.

He's popular right now and good at the brooding-character type, and so directors would want to tap him to portray Holden's teenage angst. It's only a matter of time, fellow tropers...

  • For half the world, that wouldn't make Catcher in The Rye any worse.
  • Truth, but for those who enjoyed the book, this might be terrifying—perhaps even more than the idea of the movie being made at all, which was expressly against J.D. Salinger's wishes. And for those who didn't... well, they wouldn't want a movie anyway, would they?
    • Given how English classes have been substituting The Film of the Book for the book proper a lot these days? Those who distrust the book will love it!

Sunny Gurlukovitch's odd personality was not caused by the Patriots' conditioning

It was caused by Solid Snake having pumped her pregnant mother full of tranquilizers in MGS2.

Once this troper linked the two events together, he could think of nothing else. What the Hell, Player? indeed.

An oil well in Saudi Arabia just struck a vein of High Octane Nightmare Fuel.

It's one of the largest fuel sources ever discovered. It burns almost 95% cleaner than standard petroleum, so it won't take long for the big oil companies to start marketing it. Unfortunately, it still leaves exhaust, and for a look at its effects...well, just see Batman Begins.

  • That explains the Jihad.
  • So, kinda like the whole Ghost Rock thing in Deadlands?

It's no coincidence that the child who plays Forrest Gump Jr. is the same child actor that appears in The Sixth Sense.

Forrest dies before the last scene in Forrest Gump. Jenny gave him HIV, and he died. His son is sitting there by himself waiting for the bus as his dad's ghost haunts him.

The reason the Anti-Spirals hate Spiral races (humans) has nothing to do with the destruction of the universe.

Anti-Spirals hate us because we stink. Literally.

Agent Smith and Megatron hate humans for the same reason.

"I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I've somehow been infected by it."
-- Agent Smith from The Matrix

"Disgusting!"
—Megatron, after noticing some nearby humans beside him
  • Also, the stronger a human's Body Odor is, the more likely he is to generate more Spiral Power. Hence why in an episode Yoko complained about Kamina and Simon being stinky. The inverse of this is also what caused post-timeskip Rossiu, perfume became available due to progress, and being the Chancellor, he used too much of it. The Anti-Spirals are total snobs who despised the stench of hope so much they turned themselves into a data overmind represented by a Cosmic Entity avatar and vowed that anyone who stank should be exterminatused. Since they are colossal assholes lacking the colossal odor of an asshole, they made up the entire propaganda of Spiral Nemesis since they think that stinky lifeforms should not expand into space and remain as downtrodden ignorant ghetto-boys unless they perform mind uploading and become assimilated in their data overmind. The really horrible thing about this is that this is also Truth in Television if Spiral Power is taken as a metaphor for sex/evolution, after all there's this one word: pheromones. And we Real Life Homo Sapiens Sapiens, for inventing perfume, showering a lot and repressing the sense of smell in a manner similar to how an Orwellian state would repress a very notorious thoughtcriminal, this time turned Up to Eleven (Transhumanist Singularitarians can even take it Beyond the Impossible, with them being obsessed with mind uploading and living as electronic data overminds like the original Anti-Spirals), are becoming the Anti-Spirals themselves.

Big Brother is watching you.

It's true.

  • Though not quite as in the book. In the novel, the Goldstein Document serves as a means for the Thought Police to identify potentially troublesome Outer Party members; there are those who read it and accept Party rule. The others, however.... In Real Life, Nineteen-Eighty-Four itself is the Goldstein Document. Having read the book and understood this, you will now attract the attention of the Thought Police. Who will come for you if you think about their existence.

Boxer was reincarnated into a human after he was sent to the knackers.

Which one, you ask? Rock Lee.

It's too perfect not to work: They both want to work hard. Both are handicapped in common arts that their peers have mastered but beat them all in physical strength and determination.

Boxer wouldn't have gone to Sugercandy Mountain because Napoleon told him it didn't exist, and so God chose to re-incarnate him. To do this, God sent his soul to a place where reincarnation is commonplace—a Buddist Japan. Either because he wanted to punish him ironically for his loyalty to Animalism or because he didn't want him to suffer at the hands of more humans (or Pigs), he chose to reincarnate him as a human being. Since Boxer originally wasn't a human, Lee can't use Gen or Ninjitsu; but his former Clydsdale soul makes him the perfect Tyjitsu master. The whole "Alcohol makes him stronger" thing could be an ironic twist from God as a reference to the seven commandments.


Sherlock Holmes is Dracula.

If you beat Tetris, then you win at life.

Especially when recent Japanese versions of the game go beyond Nintendo Hard to Beyond the Impossible. In that case, a winner is Jin8.

Odd Della Robbia is a terrorist.

This might involve some involved explanation:

In the Code Lyoko novels, one bit that is known but not yet expanded on in English is that the terrorist organization trying to reclaim the supercomputer, The Green Phoenix, has information on Odd, and only Odd, on file. Why do they have this?

Simple. Odd's been feeding them information the entire time. His carefree personality was a lie to get the gang to trust him and think him harmless. The "file" isn't just information, but a mission briefing. The only reason he's allowed the Warriors to live is so he can use their abilities to track down more of what TGP wants. When they've outlived their usefulness...

"Smells Like Teen Spirit" was hard to decipher because Kurt Cobain recorded it with a gun in his mouth.

There is a logic to it. Moon logic is still logic.

Netto has HBD.

Considering his twin brother had it, this could happen.

  • That would make an awesome (albeit deperssing) fanfic. Hats off to you!

In any given work, -insert character name here- was Dead All Along or in a coma; everyone else was just representations of his/her psyche.

Variations of this theory come up in many fandoms. Someone always has to be in a coma or dead, and everyone and everything else in the story is just their id/ego/superego/lust/childhood dreams personified.

Even a Downer Ending is preferable to this WMG. When this WMG is true, it turns the entire plot into All Just a Dream filler. It also kicks you in the teeth if you happened to like any of the characters other than the one having the Dying Dream because they're not really real or important to anyone or anything in their universe—not even the character who dreamed them, since they are just a dream. It makes every single thing in the story null and void.

For proof of this concept, see St. Elsewhere. Please!

  1. ↑ He wrote the name of the director and made the detail of death that the director sent the name and pictures of the investigators to Ray Penburn, thus allowing for all of them to suffer Death Note-related deaths.
  2. ↑ Considering that his mum behaves like a stereotypical Jewish Mother complete with Ruritanian accent, and also taking note of how cuddly he and Fitz are and that he listens to classic Hollywood soundtracks while bustling around the kitchen, he seems to be ambiguously several things. If he weren't so pale, he could collect the whole set.
Retrieved from "https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Poison_Oak_Epileptic_Trees/Archive?oldid=2000695"