Porn Names
Everything Sounds Sexier in French, even in the erotic entertainment industry.
Let's say Bertha is getting a job at a Bikini Bar as one of the performers. Bertha isn't a massively sexy-sounding name. Amber, on the other hand...
Another reason people adopt Porn Names is that they don't want to be haunted by Bleached Underpants if when they get out of the industry. The Internet usually finds a way to make this futile, however.
Examples of Porn Names include:
Anime and Manga
- In some hentai titles, the Seiyuu tend to use fake names, like for Urotsukidouji—the voice actors used names like Randy Woodcock, Rosy Palmer, and Rick Ballsey.
Comic Books
- In Reed Waller's furry animal comic, a young woman named Susan becomes a stripper. Since there are already several dancers named Susan/Sue/Suzie, she takes a map, closes her eyes, points with her finger at random ... and becomes Omaha the Cat Dancer.
Film
- Some Bond girls are among the most famous examples.
- Parodied in Austin Powers with names like "Alotta Fagina".
- Played with in Zack and Miri Make a Porno:
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Zack: What's your name? |
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- In Boogie Nights, protagonist Eddie Adams adopts the porn name Dirk Diggler.
- Apparently, in Orgazmo, all you need to be a porn actor is to be called Sancho. Which is kinda true...
Literature
- The book Strip Tease has the obvious fake name Urbana Sprawl, but also reveals at the end that Erin was the only one using her real name.
- Terry Pratchett parodied the hell out of this, of course, in Thud!, with one of the co-workers of Nobby's girlfriend Tawneee, called Brocolee (she started out calling herself Candee, but changed after learning that broccoli was better for you).
- In The Dresden Files novel Blood Rites, Harry is hired as supernatural security for a porn studio. One of the actors is trying to come up with a good Porn Name, so Harry suggests "Gowan Commando". The guy likes it.
Live-Action TV
- In Inspector George Gently this is both used and subverted when Gently and Bacchus are investigating a a casino with "Fox Girls". The murder victim's real name was Audrey Chadwick. However, she was using the name "Blaise" for working purposes. Not Modesty Blaise, as "she doesn't have any modesty". However, Fawn Granger, her best friend was using her real name.
- In The Unit, when Tiffy does a bit of pole-dancing at a Bikini Bar during her separation from Mack, she is announced as "Monique".
- In Seinfeld, George says that his porn name would be "Buck Naked".
- In an episode of How I Met Your Mother, Ted Mosby learns that somebody he saved from bullies once in elementary school is now a porn star using the stage name "Ted Mosby". Ted meets him and tells him that he's an architect now, and that for professional reasons, he doesn't like his name being misused in porn. In an attempt to stop the actor, he tells him that the guy who actually saved him from bullies was called "Lance Hardwood". Shortly thereafter, a new porn video comes out entitled "Lance Hardwood: Sex Architect, starring Ted Mosby".
- Parodied in a Mad TV sketch, where men attempted to register to become pornstars, and were rejected because their names were already taken. Watch it here.
- Invoked in an early 80s Saturday Night Live sketch from an episode hosted by Bernadette Peters, in which Peters' Broadway vehicle of the time, 42nd Street, was re-envisioned set on the contemporary 42nd Street, in an adult theatre rather than a Broadway theatre. The stage manager dubs her character Lotta Hose, and her co-star (played by Eddie Murphy) goes by "Miles Long".
- In one episode of Night Court a pair of porn starlets named "Ginger Lee" and "Amber Waves" appeared in Harry's courtroom (obviously inspired by real-life starlets Ginger Lynn and Amber Lynn, right down to the rivalry between the two).
- During Letterman's more ribald years, he did a show in Vegas where he displayed artifacts from the Museum of Las Vegas. One was a Showgirl Name Decoder: put in your name, or the name of a showgirl, and you find out what your showgirl name will be (or what her real name is). Susan, for example, becomes Suzie; and one of the other
- In Veronica Mars, an escort site had, among their employees, a lady named "Bambi Gasm".
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Mac: (in posh accent) Of the Boston Gasms? |
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Video Games
- Fallout 2 allowed the player to make porn movies to make extra cash. Players could choose from a variety of porn names, such as Jack Shooter and The Polish Hammer.
- In Fallout: New Vegas with some dialogue options, Cass may mention Long Dick Johnson.
Web Comics
- Amber-Amber in Ménage à 3
- The phenomenon is mocked in this Sinfest strip.
- Also, this Achewood strip.
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Alt Text: It was actually Goldfish #1A Loomis Pines Trailer Court Sani-Hookup 12 |
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Western Animation
- While Quagmire is staying with the Griffins on Family Guy, a phone call reveals that his porn name is Long Rod Von Hugendong. Originally, it was supposed to be "Long Rod Von Hungenschlong,", but the FOX censors thought that was too risque. Not the greatest of changes, but hey, pick your battles.
- While not an exact fit, this is used in The Boondocks for the prostitute "Cristal" (Like the Champagne), managed by a pimp named "A Pimp Named Slickback". Yes, you have to say the whole thing, like A Tribe Called Quest.
Real Life
- Glamour model Katie Price used the name "Jordan" during her Page 3 days.
- Burlesque artist Dita Von Teese's real name is Heather Sweet.
- 'Heather Sweet' sounds more like a porn name than her porn name.
- Yes, but it sounds like a mainstream, "cute" porn name, nothing like Dita's preferred method of titillation.
- 'Heather Sweet' sounds more like a porn name than her porn name.
- Thanks to Ginger Lynn, Amber Lynn and Porsche Lynn in the 1980s (and their dozens of imitators since), any woman's first name followed by "Lynn" equals "porn starlet".
- Ginger Lynn's real name is Ginger Lynn Allen... and it was her feud with Amber Lynn for "stealing" her name which turned on the Streisand Effect and created the endless succession of Starlet Lynns.
- The common joke is that your porn name is [Name of First Pet] [Name of First Street you lived on].
- Or [Name of favourite sweet] + [Name of first street you lived on].
- Or even [Your last name] + [Name of first street you lived on].
- But what if the first street you lived on was a numbered street that wasn't 69th?
- Some security companies have warned of websites using this idea in an attempt to gain access to your email account by making your porn star name relate to common security questions.
- Discussed in this xkcd strip. (The naming convention, not the security advisory.)
- Other real life examples:
- Retired pornstar Long Dong Silver. 'Nuff said.
- Peter North.
- Letha Weapons.
- There is/was a porn actress who went by the name Cindy Crawford. It happens to be her real name.
- A famous character-inspired: Kylee Reese. The Terminator jokes just write themselves ("Come on me if you want to live").
- British porn director Ben Dover.
- Most sex industry workers (strippers, porn stars, and escorts) take a sexy-sounding porn name both as a way of being easily-remembered and also as a way of deterring stalkers. This can sometimes lead to issues where a name that can be phonetically spelled multiple ways results in numerous very similar aliases. One of the best examples is Lanny Barbie, a French-Canadian star whose alternate spellings included Lanni Barbie, Lanny Barby, and Lanni Barby.
- Actress Nikki Cox was once asked by an interviewer what her porn name would be. She said it would probably be the same but that she'd probably add an extra x or two to her last name.
- This is in fact common in any sort of name that can be spelled with an X; most sex workers with such a name will often be known by the normal spelling and the "triple x" spelling.
- Interestingly, some porn performers base their stage names on those of mainstream performers of whom they are fans:
- Traci Lords (born Nora Louise Kuzma) took her surname from actor Jack Lord (of original Hawaii Five-O fame).
- Asia Carrera (born Jessica Steinhauser) was reportedly inspired by actress Tia Carrere.
- The late Dakota Skye (Lauren Kaye Scott) was a fan of Dakota Fanning.