Prototype 2/Funny
- Mercer, leaving Heller after their second meeting, lampshades a hilarious difference between his infection and Heller's.
Mercer: And for God's sake, man, put some fucking clothes on. |
- Father Guerra, reluctantly, tells Heller that he needs to kill certain scientists. After the job's done:
Guerra: (reluctantly) James, did you...did you kill those scientists? |
- When Heller, who has been cutting through foes by the dozen, is stymied and enraged by his mortal enemy; a computer. Hearing him growl about keys with a "squiggly line" just doesn't get old.
Heller: I'm at the computer, what do I press? |
- And when Heller is done:
Guerra: Don't forget to log off! |
- The Project Long Shadow dialogue between Guerra and Heller:
Guerra: Watch out, y-you may need to -- |
- Dana's reaction after overhearing a conversation between a disguised Heller and a clueless Blackwatch officer who calls her a "pasty hacker cunt":
Dana: I'm not pasty. |
- The one Blackwatch soldier who keeps referring to everyone as "Brah," to everyone's extreme displeasure.
"Brah, have you been hearing all the rumors? This Heller guy, dude, they say he can get into anywhere. Like, he can turn invisible and shit." |
- This includes Heller, the soldier Heller ate to get the Blacknet mission, and Red Crown, Blackwatch's radio control. Blackwatch's soldiers aren't as threatining as before.
Heller: This asshole says "brah" one more time, I'll break his fucking jaw. Well, might do that anyway. |
- Mission Objective: Bail out to fuck over New Templar scientists.
- Even better is if you hang around and listen to them beg for their lives.
Scientist 1: Killing the poor? Why, that is ridiculous! (nervous laughter) Project New Templar is actually... uh... developing a new advanced Velcro! |
- After Heller has killed a helicopter pilot in an attempt to gain access to the Red Zone, this interesting little discussion with command takes place.
Heller: Hello, uh, Southpaw. I'm the replacement. Catapult Four One just got his head bit off by a Brawler, wouldn'chaknowit. |
- Any time every time a blackwatch trooper uses the verb "Unfuck"
- After Dr. Koenig's Face Heel Turn, we get this little gem after Heller forces a Blackwatch Commander out of an APC.
Dr. Koenig: Commander, don't you DARE let him eat you! |
- Chasing a known Evolved, but missed the opportunity and now Heller faces a Hydra:
- The soldier who witnesses Heller's first battle with a Goliath. he sounds like he's reading the laconic entry on the Cluster F-Bomb page while going into shock.
Blackwatch Soldier (after watching Heller consume the goliath) FUCK ME!! The subject, he... he just... HOLY FUCK!!! DID ANYONE ELSE FUCKING SEE THAT?!! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!! |
- When picking mutations, some of the pictures associated with them are hilarious. For example, the mutation that speeds up hijacking/breaking weapons off vehicles has Heller standing on a tank, holding the turret in one hand, and a terrified Blackwatch soldier waving his hands in the air. The one that makes Heller Immune to Bullets has him nonchalantly reading a book while bullets are bouncing off his head and arm.
- My personal favorite is one that gives Heller an extra air dash move. The mutation is called 'Extra Dashing,' and the image is of Heller with a top hat and monocle Being shot out of a cannon.
- This exchange between Blackwatch soldiers:
Starnes: You know, some infected chicks are still pretty hot if you put a bag over their heads. |
- Especially because one has to wonder why Blackwatch even has a psyche profile. Unless they're looking for a minimum level of crazy in their recruits...
- Later on during a similar blackwatch patrol mission, you apparently end up in a squad with the same guy.
Starnes: I swear you guy this morning I shot an infected that looked exactly like Jimmy Fallon! |
- In the final boss fight, Heller threatens to skullfuck [his opponent] and suck the memories out the hole."
- After eating some random Blackwatch soldier, Heller coughs and says "Dude must have been a smoker."
- Mercer gets some great lines during his climactic battle with Heller, such as his deadpan response to one of the good sergeant's patented Cluster F Bombs:
"... You're a very crude person, aren't you?" |
- Not to mention when he is defeated and has both his arms off, the only remotely worried thing he says is: "Huh. Welcome to the top of the food chain."
- And when Heller has gone berserk and is screaming at Mercer to give him his daughter:
Mercer: (completely unfazed and with accompanying 'fear' pose) Ooh, scary. |
- During the mission to consume Doctor Bellamy, if you gain the ability to rip off vehicle-mounted weapons and use them, and do so on one of the convoy's Bradleys you get this.
Blackwatch Soldier: Oh my GOD! Subject has just ripped off our rockets! Repeat: subject has stolen our TOW! |
- As part of Lincoln Meadows Blackbox #4 one Lieutenant Baker shoots a woman trying to find her boyfriend immediately after two warnings when she gave a confused response to being informed the are was off-limits. Blackwatch's response? On the same day according to Blackbox #5:
Riley: Corporal Rand Baker: for consistent display and embodiment of the organization's core tenets, you are hereby awarded the Blackwatch Iron Star and all associated benefits, compensation and standings, congratulations soldier. |
- In one of the Bases, after you start eating your lunch one of the Gentek scientists says this to the blackwatch garrison:
Scientist: How could you let him in here? What the hell are we paying you people for? Why don't you just go bomb a third world country or something! |
- Heller Throws Down trailer.
- During the mission, "A Nest of Vipers" in the sequel, Heller, disguised as a Blackwatch trooper, can still pick up weaponry that's usually vehicle mounted without blowing your cover, if you do, one remarks:
Blackwatch Soldier: "Ho-- Holy shit, dude. You been workin' out?" |
- The final boss starts out using the Blade power. If Heller attacks with his own Blade, the boss can block and counter, yelling "I'm using that!" as if Heller had broken the rules or something.