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"I'm being quoted to introduce something, but I have no idea what it is and certainly don't endorse it."
—Randall Munroe, xkcd #1942

Have you discovered a page that doesn't begin with a quote, and you want to rectify that situation? Perhaps one of these quotes might be appropriate.

If you use or see a quote from this page on another page, please remove the quote from this page.

Anime and Manga[edit | hide | hide all]

Reimu: Sorry Bean throwing is canceled this year. Even though I asked you to play the Oni
Suika: No-no way! I even dressed up as an Oni!

"Constellations of stars that I am seeing for the first time… you are all only allowed to exist as objects for my conquest and rule. Just wait."
Reinhard von Lohengramm, Legend of the Galactic Heroes
"There is nothing more noble and beautiful than a warrior with no distractions. One could say he is the closest thing to God."
Treize Khushrenada, Gundam Wing
"Man fears the darkness, and so he scrapes away at the edges of it with fire."
Rei Ayanami, Neon Genesis Evangelion

"Doctor Tenma. For you all lives are created equal, that’s why I came back to life. But you’ve finally come to realize it now, haven’t you?
Only one thing is equal for all, and that is death."

Johan Liebert, Monster (manga)
"Feelings of love are just a temporary lapse in judgment. Like some kind of mental illness."
"Immortality is wasted on the young."
Alucard, Hellsing

"Romance [...] is flexible in that it can act as the central reason to include an array of props. Want tension? Create awkward scenarios that sprout from romance. Mind some comedy? There are countless cliché gags based on a romantic relationship. Want to keep a healthy male fan base? Add girls, some naughty camera angles, and you’ve got yourself a steady audience.

Romance is versatile, but requires a lot of characterization and work on the story. Some anime producers decided that these weren’t important, but liked the broad spectrum of actions that romance covered. So they included the drama, comedy, and fan-service, but left out the tedious process of developing a proper romance."
Austin, Anime: The World of Fake Romance (The Artifice)

"Hundreds of thousands, possibly millions of people discovered anime through [Carl] Macek's work, including a lot of the fans who went on to found North America's anime industry.
You could make the case that the popularization of anime might have happened anyway, but the fact is, Macek was the one who did it."

Christopher Macdonald, CEO and editor-in-chief of Anime News Network, The 'Robotech' master
We weep for a bird's cry, but not for a fish's blood; blessed are those with a voice.
Major Kusanagi, Ghost in the Shell: Innocence

Major Degurechaff: How diligent you are. Who ordered you to work harder than your pay? You're going to regret this. I'll beat the wonderfulness of going home on time into your heads.

Subordinates:Thank you Ma'am!

Film[edit | hide]

"It’s a tiny bit arrogant of people to go around worrying about those less fortunate."
Nick Smith, Metropolitan
"Rick Von Slonecker is tall, rich, good looking, stupid, dishonest, conceited, a bully, liar, drunk and thief, an egomaniac, and probably psychotic. In short, highly attractive to women."
Nick Smith, Metropolitan

John 'The Hangman' Ruth: Major Marquis Warren, this here is Daisy Domergue. Domergue, to you, this is Major Warren.
Daisy Domergue: Howdy, nigger.
John 'The Hangman' Ruth: [laughing] She's a pepper, ain't she? Now, girl, don't you know darkies don't like being called niggers no more? They find it offensive.
Daisy Domergue: I've been called worse.
John 'The Hangman' Ruth: Now, that I can believe.

"For all the hard work SJWs and Feminists put into defending Ghostbusters [2016] from the legions of haters and dudebros, they ended up showed their support for the movie by.... staying home and not watching it at all. This is what artists, companies, etc, don't seem to understand, but it's been proven time and time again: there is NO reward in catering to SJWs and Feminists, because they have no concept of "voting with their wallet". They will NEVER reward you for doing the right thing, because---among other things---as far as they're concerned, that's what you're SUPPOSED to do in the first place, and so why reward someone for doing just that?"

Why the shock that a woman can direct a great super film. After Fantastic Four, Steel, Batman vs Superman etc, it's shocking a man can.
—Colin Mochrie, on Twitter

Literature[edit | hide]

"I used to think marriage was a plate-glass window just begging for a brick."
Jeanette Winterson, Written on the Body
"I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid."
Dorothy Parker, The Lost Poems
"For a fellow who’s not too much to look at, you have the instincts of a champion."
Salman Rushdie, The Enchantress of Florence

"The Good and Great must ever shun
That reckless and abandoned one
Who stoops to perpetrate a pun.

"The man that smokes--that reads the Times -
That goes to Christmas Pantomimes -
Is capable of ANY crimes!"

Lewis CarrollThe Three Voices

"[...] it is invariably the case that actions bright and exciting in the imagination are, unfortunately, often disappointing or farcical in practice, more so when they have not been thought through thoroughly. Deep thinking gives people a headache.
They think they are thinking when in fact they are merely daydreaming. For instance, if you were to ask them what they thought of ‘adventure,’ they would express a vague, undefined pro-adventure attitude, as practically everyone does, albeit from the comfort of an easy chair. They equate, or confuse, their liking for the idea of adventure with an ability to possibly participate in the real thing. Whereas, in practice, they might immediately discover that real adventure — of the neck-on-the-line variety — is unsettling, like entering a fourth dimension where the comfortable laws and rules they take for granted in normal life no longer apply; adrenaline speeds the pumping blood and distorts the faculties; immersion in the immediacy of action obviates wider appreciation. Riding the whirlwind is an acquired taste. The psyche aspires to accommodate the new perspective of both inner and external vision. The more times you act as supreme architect, the more you become one."

Ian BradyThe Gates of Janus (Chapter Fifteen: Ted Bundy)
I know there are spares among us. Where are the spares? Are we a troop together or a band of savages?
—Stilgar, Dune
"‘If you build it, they will come’ is a saying from a famous 1989 Hollywood movie, Field of Dreams. But if you build it and it doesn’t provide value, they will soon leave!"
The Official Introduction to the ITIL Service Lifecycle, Her Majesty’s Stationery Office
If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them.
—Karl Popper, The Open Society and Its Enemies

Live Action TV[edit | hide]

"At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross."
Dr. Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy, The First Cut Is the Deepest
We all know that artists are the epitome of mental health.
—Stephen Colbert (joking), The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
"Because of the ad skips.... It's theft. Your contract with the network when you get the show is you're going to watch the spots. Otherwise you couldn't get the show on an ad-supported basis. Any time you skip a commercial or watch the button you're actually stealing the programming."
Jamie Kellner, then-chairman and CEO of Turner Broadcasting, in an interview with Cableworld, April 29, 2002[1]

Music[edit | hide]

"All of us get lost in the darkness
Dreamers learn to steer by the stars
All of us do time in the gutters
Dreamers turn to look at the cars"

Rush, The Pass
"We were all on this ship in the sixties, our generation, a ship going to discover the New World. And the Beatles were in the crow's nest of that ship."
"On reflection it seems ironic and perhaps fitting that a series of musical pieces exploring themes of loss and melancholia should in themselves be impacted upon by an unexpected experience of loss ..."
An Imaginal Space, on "Loss"

Lost - another time we found now the power
Crash - into a world of darkness and light
Dust - of thousand stars into the reactor
Life comes from death - blankness from light

Core Domain by Thunderblast

"That alert-sounding siren doesn't always have to go off at the start of a beat track; the sound of the beat nearly gives it away on its own."

CVoss on J Dilla, Rate Your Music

Radio[edit | hide]

"We're not a service industry. We're a business. Radio isn't an art form, it's an entertainment medium."
KDFC PD Bill Lueth, on radio today [mid-nineties].
"Underground radio meant something because it said something ..."
—Pioneer FM deejay Charles Laquidara.
"[The Canadian radio industry] frustrates me so much. I want to see it flourish, I want to hear great material being produced by quality radio hosts, but instead it’s amateur hour all throughout the country as the corporations slash budgets and hire people fresh out of school (or who never even went to school) who aren’t ready to be in front of the mic in markets that should only be hiring seasoned veterans…"
A Dose of Buckley, Radio Hypocrisy

Video Games[edit | hide]

"The truth, Walker, is that you're here because you wanted to feel like something you're not: A hero."
Spec Ops: The Line
"You're a disgusting, MMO-addicted NEET hermit... and I'm your beloved little sister!"
Rikana, Mix Ore

"You can't talk yourself out of loneliness, it doesn't work that way.
You can't be the one writing both the questions and the answers, then there's no movement! Then there's no circulation!
If all of your anxieties are being channeled into your work, then if the work ever fails you have no backup and you're just going to crash."

Davey Wreden of The Stanley Parable fame, on the dialogue of one of Coda's games, The Beginner's Guide
"Their catch phrase for EOS Online is "For the MMORPG that you've lost." The only thing that I have lost while testing this game is interest."
"While Clannad certainly has a bunch of the generic "lol Japan is perverts", I'd be hard-pressed to call it a game designed for porn. I mean, if you enjoy masturbating to your own tears, that's not the game's fault."
"Who'd of thought it, huh? A bunch of small towners like us wrapped up in an adventure like this."
Olivia, Minecraft: Story Mode
"It's one of those games that seems to do exactly what it set out to do. Neverending Nightmares does indeed trap you in a seemingly never-ending cycle of wandering halls and avoiding monsters. It just does it in a far more tedious and uninteresting way than your own mind would."
Audish, Steam review of Neverending Nightmare

Web Comics[edit | hide]

Alexia Murtaugh: Made in good faith, that offer puts us under Samaritan clauses. BOOM. We're here legally.
Kevyn Andreyasn: Are we the good guys if we're this crafty about being the good guys?
Alexia Murtaugh: I'm a career good-guy. This qualifies as "justifiably crafty righteousness".

Schlock Mercenary, April 22, 2016

Daisy: What's the cure for falling down the stairs?
Cooper: Falling back up the stairs?
Daisy: That's still in clinical trials! You could lose your license!

Elan: Oh no! Roy's been staggered! Or possibly stunned! Maybe dazed? Dazzled? I know it's one of the swoopy-star conditions, not one of the swirly-eye ones.

Riff: You realize you are about a year off from that joke being topical.
Torg: Some jokes never get old.

Riff: Others are born that way.

Web Original[edit | hide]

"Food isn't anime related, so stop posting it."
r/anime message, Reddit

"1) Does it have bass?
2) Does it blow your fucking mind?
Then it's Future Bass. It's not a genre, it's a state of mind."

r/futurebass description, Reddit

Luigi: Guys, I think I found the switch to the lasers.
Mario: How can you be sure?
Luigi: There's a sign below the switch that says "Lazerz."
Sonic: What a goddamn genius!

"You know, there's a really thin line between "YouTube Challenge" and "Snuff Fetish Film."
Andre the Black Nerd (Black Nerd Comedy), WORST OF 2015: Black Nerd Rants
"'A very important message from a shark.' Somehow, I don't think these two things belong in the same sentence.
TheMysteriousMrEnter, Tentacolino Review
Yeah, that's right, this site's under construction. I feel I must tell you this by posting multiple "under construction" images in case you didn't notice that it was "under construction" that way I don't feel as bad leaving it "unfinished."
"The Internet has brainwashed these teenagers, to the point where that's all they talk about when they're not on it. If only this wasn't accurate..."
YourMovieSucks, Megan is Missing review
"The modern information age got such a jump start from the "calculator wars" that it's bizarre that it isn't discussed in any more depth than it is."
"Didn't they, like, put ads in a reaction video to a little girl's suicide video and a school shooting?"
Steve (a human being with empathy), Finebros React (Psychicpebbles short)

"We're reacting to ourselves now? That's so useless and redundant.
(happy shrug)
Why didn't we think of it before?!"

Rafi Fine, Finebros React (Psychicpebbles short)
"[Changes in modern media, compared to old works, make] the story reflect the sensibilities of a modern audience. Fiction is [a] product of culture, and culture is a product of circumstance. Our circumstances now are not the same as they were in classical times, so neither is our culture and neither is our fiction."
"I talked to my friend and colleague Seth Schoen about the Ubuntu Software Center selling proprietary software, and he pointed out that it goes directly against the Ubuntu Manifesto. I looked it up and read it, and it sure seemed that way to me. Only now I can’t seem to find a copy of it. The only reference to the manifesto that I can find on ubuntu.com is in some documentation on an old release [...]"
"Tropers have no sense of subtlety, ambiguity, or suggestion. These are some of the most important parts of poetry."

"There was a point in the early 90's when people thought the internet was going to create a global forum for the spread of new ideas, that it would make national boundaries and old prejudices irrelevant. Indeed people attached an almost utopian significance to it. The global village was no longer a theory but a reality.
Fast forward about 20 odd years and we use it to watch videos of fat men eating junk food and vomiting

feedtheoctopus, Kiwi Farms thread about JoeysWorldTour
"[LeafyIsHere]'s actually been coming out of his shell quite a bit recently [as of late 2016]. He's making more 'facecam' videos- I love that too, by the way, calling 'em 'facecam' videos. You know, for the rest of the planet who isn't afraid to show their face, we just call 'em 'videos'."
iDubbbzTV, Content Cop - Leafy

LucasSomething: [...] [I] just love how Youtube drama has become a shounen anime where every month you discover that the villain was actually being manipulated by an even stronger villain. Leafy backstabbing Keemstar to avoid getting hate is getting him much more hating than if he sided with Keemstar. Oh the irony...
StarvingAutist: It's like Death Note, but with dank memes.

Kiwi Farms thread about LeafyIsHere

Do you have a brain, or does that mustache go all the way to the center?

Naturally I object to this plan on moral grounds. As in: It’s moral, therefore we shouldn’t be wasting our time with it.

Anonymous: apollodown has hidden their mods in reaction to american politics. On a scale of beyond 10 to beyond 10, how utterly retarded is this move?
trainwiz: That’s like killing your cat in response to Hurricane Matthew.


Can you hear that? I can hear it. That's the sound of every former British service member cringing at the mere sight of this rifle and it's so loud that you can hear it over the internet.

Ian McCollum on the L85A1, Forgotten Weapons

Magdalene Visaggio: I think it's genuinely fucked up that @aubreysitterson is being hounded out of comics for speaking his mind in a non-hateful way.
Diversity in Comics: He literally decided he was the referee of who got to mourn 9/11. There is nothing more hateful than that.

Diversity in Comics tears apart a hit article on him.

Western Animation[edit | hide]

"Sometimes, you need to take responsibility for your own happiness. It takes a long time to realize how truly miserable you are, even longer to see it doesn't have to be that way. Only after you give up everything can you begin to find a way to be happy."
Cuddlywhiskers, BoJack Horseman ("BoJack Kills")

ScroogeYour new job is with my sworn enemy?

Donald: I can't keep track of all your sworn enemies!

Other[edit | hide]

you're a very very healthy fifty-five-year-old man, except, of course, for the brain cancer
Anne Lamott's Father's oncologist

"You see people, the truly ironic thing about all of this, is that going to College/University was supposed to be about expanding young minds. Helping them to broaden their own experiences and give them the best possible start in life. A new perspective; a chance to grow.

Now it seems to be more about hiding new experiences from them and reinforcing their own pre-conceptions. Instead of preparing them for reality, we're teaching them to be reality ignorant."

Nie moj cyrk, nie moje malpy.
("Not my circus, not my monkey.")

—Polish proverb
"The aquarium was once the best way to encounter the wonders of sea life. It has become a mere travesty, tacky and cruel."
Subtitle for Through a Glass, Sadly by Bernd Brunner
"The truth is our standards for what a “successful relationship” should be are pretty screwed up. If a relationship ends and someone’s not dead, then we view it as a failure, regardless of the emotional or practical circumstances present in the person’s lives. And that’s kind of insane."

"China Is Banning Erotic Banana Eating on Live Streams
But what of cucumbers?"

—Headline and Subtitle of a 2016 article by Erik Shilling on Atlas Obscura

"My five-year-old son just got a trophy for soccer. I was as pleased as any father could be, and I pulled him on my lap, and praised him. Then I figured out everyone got a trophy. All my praise turned to lies in my mouth. I could not unsay what I had just said to a five-year-old. I could not tell him that this trophy was meaningless.
I could not tell him to try his best, either, because the reward was the same for his best as for his worst.
My other son quit the team before the season ended, and the coach wanted to give him a trophy in any case. I was revolted by the idea, deeply offended.
They are trying to make my sons into little, weak, selfish, puling nonentities: boys who will cry if they do not get the same reward for hard work as for goofing off.
Boys who will grow up to think life is unfair unless they are handed everything they never earned on a silver platter. I cannot regard this attempt with anything but a deep mistrust, bordering on hatred. Who are these people, and what do they have against my boys? Why are they trying to spoil them?"

"Kafkaesque doesn't even begin to describe how fucked up this is. Those poor kids are going to have their lives ruined because some fuckwad at the police station decided that was the only charge they could stick on them.
Our legal system is too fucked up to even repair at this point. It's become a series of depressing stories like this highlighting how broken it is but, until people are impacted by it themselves, most are not willing to raise their voices and demand change."

"Some people demand a five-line capsule summary. Something you'd read in a magazine. They want you to say, "This is the story of the duality of man and the duplicity of governments." I hear people try to do it — give the five-line summary — but if a film has any substance or subtlety, whatever you say is never complete, it's usually wrong, and it's necessarily simplistic: truth is too multifaceted to be contained in a five-line summary. If the work is good, what you say about it is usually irrelevant."
"Transcendental meditation is for human beings, and it transforms life for the good, no matter who you are or what your situation is. For instance, everybody knows education is pretty bad shape these days. There's lots of problems, even in the so-called "good" schools. Stress is hitting kids at a younger and younger age, and there's bullying, there's fights, there's legal and illegal drugs, there's bad relationships, bad grades, nobody likes to learn, there's teacher burnout, and it's kind of a mess. People have tried many things to help, but in my opinion, lots of these good things are surface cures--they don't address the torment inside the student, or the teacher, or the principal. When they get this transcendental meditation, it's a mental techique that allows them to dive deep within to the deepest level of life, which underlies all matter and mind. At the border of intellect, you transcend and experience that unbounded level of life: all positive, pure consciousness with qualities of intelligence, creativity, happiness, love, energy, and peace. I like to say gold flows in and garbage goes out."
Everybody laughs in the same language.
"Believe, when you are most unhappy, that there is something for you to do in the world. So long as you can sweeten another's pain, life is not in vain."
Helen Keller
We see several German soldiers in a bunker, who in order to receive the American guest have borrowed old uniforms from a military museum. Their faces express at once both desperation and cheerfulness.
Das schwarze Korps (Newspaper for SS members) review of Superman comic

For the first edition, I exchanged a few e-mails with him, directly and indirectly, and then the finished books were run past him to be approved and, as he put it, sprinkled with fairy dust. I'm happy and honoured to say that he didn't feel that they needed much from him.

(Actually, he threatened me with assassination. But in a very flattering way.)
—Phil Masters, discussing his (minimal) interaction with Terry Pratchett while writing GURPS Discworld
For example, the first draft had numbers for a couple of siege engines. But then the manuscript looked to be running long, and I thought "Hang on - a ballista or a cannon will either be something in the background in a wartime siege scene, in which case it's a symbol that stuff just got real and something not to stand in front of, or as a Chekhov's Gun that will show up as a piece of furniture in scene 1 because there'll be a giant monster on the rampage in scene 3, in which case it does Enough Damage To Kill A Giant Monster. So let's not waste that space."
—Phil Masters, discussing writing The Discworld Roleplaying Game
Everyone is in favour of free speech. Hardly a day passes without its being extolled, but some people's idea of it is that they are free to say what they like, but if anyone says anything back, that is an outrage
Winston Churchill"The Coalmining Situation", Speech to the House of Commons, October 13, 1943

"Here’s how bad [the school environment in universities has] gotten, for reals: last summer [of 2015], I agonized over whether or not to include texts about climate change in my first-year comp course. They would have fit perfectly into the unit, which was about the selective production of ignorance and the manipulation of public discourse. But I decided against including them. They forced readers to come to uncomfortable conclusions. They indicted our consumption-based lifestyles. They called out liars for lying. Lots of uncomfortable stuff. All it would take was one bougie, liberal student to get offended by them, call them triggering, and then boom, that’s it, that’s the end of me.
So... yeah. This is what call out culture has begot. An academic climate where teachers are afraid to make students think, and where academics themselves are afraid to say a single word that bucks the status quo. Congrats, guys. You’ve won."

"Turning social justice into a joke, one vapid tweet at a time."

Intelligent Calcium on Brianna Wu's use of Twitter, Kiwi Farms thread

So since it's impossible to know what the future will actually look like, that's a defense for writing nonsense. Let's apply this to other genres: "Since it's impossible to know exactly what everyday life was like in the Roman Empire, I can go ahead and write a historical novel where Romans watched Desperate Housewives."

RedImperator on StarDestroyer.Net forums.

Most college sophomores in their first philosophy class will walk in with the argument that “it’s all relative” and that no research, argument, or discussion can alter our preconceptions.

That’s why we call them sophomoric.
Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of the same sovereign, servants of the same law.
—Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

“Why, of course, the people don’t want war,” Goering shrugged. “Why would some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best that he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece. Naturally, the common people don’t want war; neither in Russia nor in England nor in America, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship or a Parliament or a Communist dictatorship.”
“There is one difference,” I pointed out. “In a democracy the people have some say in the matter through their elected representatives, and in the United States only Congress can declare wars.”

“Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country.”
—Gustave Gilbert, recounting a conversation with Herman Goering on 18 April 1946

"Ooh, look at me, I looked up a quote!"
—Randall Munroe, xkcd #1942
  1. Fortunately for all us potential criminals, he graciously permits bathroom breaks.