Renegade (fanfic)/Funny

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• In Chapter 7, when the car carrying Shepard, Anderson, and the two kidnappers crashes into a building. When she comes to, an advertisement is playing in the background, with an elcor droning on about body wash. "Smug: I am on a rachni."
• Garrus' utter disdain for doors. Not to mention his method for capturing a mercenary for interrogation: blowing up his car with a tank right after he gets out.
  • Even better: this man had been shot in the legs (by Garrus himself) and could not walk. Also, he was unarmed. That's right. Garrus requisitioned a freaking tank in order to capture a man who could not move without help, and no way to fight back.
• Forget the previous entry. Anything Garrus does, including plowing through so many warehouses, that eventually he smashes into a warehouse to find it empty. He looks across the room, to see a hole where he had previously plowed through.
• Shepard's reaction to the prospect of Admiral Nick "Havoc" Parker V and Garrus being on the same room.

Her mind reeled, remembering everything the Spectre had told her about how he handled things, and then about everything she knew about how Admiral Nicolas Parker V operated, and realized that putting them in the same room would result in . . . well, havoc. On the one hand, there was an elite covert operative whose general approach to problems was apparently "Overkill?" and "Kneecaps!" On the other was a special operations commander for whom orbital bombardment was the first resort, and was unsatisfied when an operation was completed and at least two buildings were not demolished. Her mind treated her to horror scenarios, where "hostage rescue" and "strategic ordnance deployment" were used in the same sentence. Words like "collateral damage" and "unspecified urban renewal" followed.

• This exchange in Chapter Eight:

"You're talking about thirty to sixty extra troops," Kaidan said. "Don't you guys think that's a little excessive?" Admiral Parker and Garrus stared at him as if he'd just told them to dip their sensitive areas in liquid nitrogen.