Romantic Hyperbole

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

"I would walk across the desert with no shoes upon my feet,
 To share with you the last bite of bread I had to eat."

—"Love Can Build a Bridge", The Judds

Some lovers say that they'll care for you, work hard to support you, and be there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on. But why stop there? Why not fetch the stars from the sky for you, climb the highest mountain, walk a thousand miles on broken glass just for one touch of your hand! And yes, these things are completely impractical and nobody could actually do any of them without dying - but hey, sometimes the best way to express powerful feelings is through ridiculous exaggeration. Alternatively, you can interpret such impractical feats as metaphors for overcoming more mundane obstacles.

Other forms of hyperbole are also eligible, such as attributing supernatural properties or abilities to your lover that no person actually has, like shining/glowing, being the source of all beauty, or teaching the doves to sing.

If any "I would such and such" statements turn out to be Not Hyperbole, back away slowly because Love Makes You Crazy and/or evil.

Naturally a staple of Silly Love Songs.

Examples of Romantic Hyperbole include:

Film

George: What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary.
Mary: I'll take it. Then what?
George: Well, then you could swallow it, and it'd all dissolve, see? And the moonbeams'd shoot out of your fingers and your toes, and the ends of your hair... Am I talking too much?

  • Subverted in Stardust when Tristan tells his girlfriend he'll bring back a star for her... and actually goes out and finds a star - fallen to earth in the shape of a woman - and tries to bring her back. Only along the way, he falls in love with the star and ends up with her instead.
  • Shakespeare in Love subverts this trope by way of Sonnet 130 (see in Literature, below) when Shakespeare tells Thomas Kent (actually Shakespeare's love Viola in disguise) about how the woman he loves has eyes like the sun, lips red as coral, a voice like music, etc. "Thomas" responds that he'd hate to be Shakespeare's lady because no real woman could actually live up to that.


Literature

  • Shakespeare uses this trope a lot.
    • The most obvious example is probably Romeo and Juliet. Romeo says that Juliet: 1. Is the sun. 2. Teaches the torches to burn bright. 3. Is fairer than the moon. 3. Has cheeks brighter than the stars. 4. OK, you get the idea.
    • Another example is from Two Gentlemen of Verona. One of the male leads is in love with a woman named Silvia and he recites the following completely ridiculous speech which was also recited in Shakespeare in Love.

What light is light, if Silvia be not seen?
 What joy is joy, if Silvia be not by?
 Unless it be to think that she is by
 And feed upon the shadow of perfection
 Except I be by Silvia in the night,
 There is no music in the nightingale;
 Unless I look on Silvia in the day,
 There is no day for me to look upon...

More than a catbird hates a cat,
 Or a criminal hates a clue,
 Or the Axis hates the United States,
 That's how much I love you....


Live Action TV

  • Averted in a Flight of the Conchords episode, where Jemaine tells Bret not to write a song to his girlfriend in this style.

Jemaine: Would you actually climb the highest mountain?

All I know is that I love you! I want to shout it from the mountain tops! Uh, but, I'd have to get back down to Earth and actually climb a mountain. Or they could just drop me off on a mountain. I don't care! That would be okay, because I just--need--you!

  • Parodied in the MTV sketch comedy show The State while incorporating a Brick Joke. Earlier in the show, a teacher is telling students not to talk lightly about assassinating the president when a group of secret service agents rush in and carry her off. Later, when the cast is performing a Silly Love Song called "You Will Always Give Me A Boner", one singer sings "I would do anything for you! I'd even shoot the president!" Cue the secret service.


Music

  • The Judds - "Love Can Build a Bridge", as in the page quote. In this case the next line ("I would swim out to save you in your sea of broken dreams") makes it clear that it's metaphorical.
  • The Proclaimers - "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)":

But I would walk 500 miles
 And I would walk 500 more
 Just to be the man who walked 1000 miles
 To fall down at your door

  • Similarly, Vanessa Carlton - "A Thousand Miles":

You know I'd walk a thousand miles
 If I could just see you... tonight.

    • This one is particularly unrealistic: it would require over 13 continuous days to walk a thousand miles, so she obviously wouldn't make it "tonight."
  • Foreigner - "Feels Like the First Time":

I would climb any mountain
 Sail across a stormy sea

  • Billy Ocean - "When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going":

Darlin', I'll climb any mountain
 Darlin', I'll do anything

  • Celine Dion - "Pour Que Tu M'aimes Encore" ("For You to Love Me Again"): among other things, the narrator offers to make herself queen, cast magic spells of African priests, and turn herself into gold for her ex-lover to love her again.
  • Evanescence - "Anything for You":

I'll be anything for you
 I'll become your earth and sky
 Forever never die
 I'll be everything you need

I'll do anything for you
 Kill anyone for you
 'Cause I'll do anything you ask me to...

    • Another Coheed example: he offers to "cut the throats of babies" just for you. Aww...
  • Savage Garden - "Truly Madly Deeply":

I wanna lay like this forever
 Until the sky falls down over me.

  • Blink-182 - "Until the Stars Fall from the Sky":

I'll hold you all night honey
 To the sound of the waves
 Until the stars fall out of the sky

And don't you know I would move heaven and earth
 To be together forever with you.

  • Jacques Brel's "Ne me quitte pas" (Don't leave me) has a number of line about what the singer would do to keep their lover. Unlike other songs where this is considered completely romantic, this one is more about how the despair associated with losing love would make you do really desperate things. One example among many:

Moi je t'offrirai/ Des perles de pluies/ Venues de pays/ Ou il ne pleut pas
 I will bring you pearls of rain from countries where there is no rain.

  • "Everything I Own" by Bread:

I'll give up my life, my heart, my home
 I will give everything I own
 Just to have you back again

  • "Longer" by Dan Fogelberg.

Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean
 Higher than any bird ever flew
 Longer than there've been stars up in the heavens
 I've been in love with you.
 Stronger than any mountain cathedral
 Truer than any tree ever grew
 Deeper than any forest primeval
 I am in love with you.

You know I couldn't live a single day without you
 Actually, on second thought, well, I suppose I could

  • Ain't No Mountain High Enough by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrel

'Cause baby there
 Ain't no mountain high enough
 Ain't no valley low enough
 Ain't no river wide enough
 To keep me from getting to you babe.

  • Subverted in Meat Loaf's song "I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)"

I would do anything for love
 I'd run right into hell and back
 I would do anything for love
 I'd never lie to you and that's a fact
 And I would do anything for love
 But I won't do that.

    • Except the thing he won't do is fall out of love with said woman.
    • Although played straight big time in "I'd Lie For You (And That's The Truth)".

Your every wish will be a wish that I will make come true
 And if you want the moon I swear I'll bring it down for you

I would catch a grenade for ya
 Throw my hand on a blade for ya
 I'd jump in front of a train for ya

  • To Me You Are Everything by The Real Thing opens with:

I would take the stars out of the sky for you
 Stop the rain from falling if you asked me to.
 I'd do anything for you
 Your wish is my command

  • Sara Evans' "No Place that Far" IS this trope.

If I had to run
 If I had to crawl
 If I had to swim a hundred rivers
 Just to climb a thousand walls
 Always know that I would find a way
 To get to where you are
 Baby, there's no place that far


Webcomics

  • Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal had a man claiming he'd do anything for the woman he loves, until she asks him: "Would you eat this brick?"
    • And again in this one, mocking the fickleness of young love.
    • Later subverted in this one, in which a man literally scales the highest mountain and swims the deepest ocean, and afterwards becomes a celebrity and loses interest in his original girlfriend.
  • A subversion similar to Shakespeare's "My Mistress' Eyes are Nothing Like the Sun" is this Xkcd, which starts, "You are not the light of my life."


Other

  • Mocked in one of Steve Patterson's comedy routines, where he says love song writers should keep their promises realistic:

I would step
 To the middle step
 On the stepladder
 If you really, really, REALLY needed that cup...

  • Studies have shown that those who are more deeply in love will promise the one they love anything and everything they could possibly desire based solely on the depth of their love. However, their likelihood to actually fulfill that promise (even if it's a perfectly possible one, such as accompanying them to a boring social dinner) is governed by self-control and has absolutely nothing to do with their feelings for the person who they made the promise to. This has the unfortunate result that those who are the most deeply in love will often end up promising things that they simply don't have the discipline to make good on, resulting in them being more disappointing than a more rational person who loves them less and thus makes smaller promises that they are more likely to fulfill. Love really does make you crazy!
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