Schizo-Tech/Quotes

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Naruto: Wait...we have computers? Sasuke: Apparently, we have headsets, and refrigerators, too. Naruto: So, are we in the current time, or...when in the hell are we? —Naruto the Abridged Series

Sokka: Let me get this straight: you can invent tanks, jet skis, and a gi-gantic friggin' drill... but the concept of a hot air balloon eluuuuuuuuuuuuuudes you. Mechanist: Yes. Sokka: I hate this world and everyone in it. —Avatar: The Abridged Series

The 18th century was a time of rapid innovation; in the space of a single year, the two-storey building, the stage play, America, and the rocket launcher were all invented by the same man: Shakespearicles, the strongest writer who ever lived. Despite his powerful grasp of language and the ability to bench press 700 British pounds, several inventions eluded his iron grip—most tragically among them, stairs. For the next three hundred years, people who needed to get to the second floor used the only method available to them: shooting a rocket launcher at their feet. —Team Fortress 2, Gunboats Introduction

"I have often been asked: if we have traveled between the stars, why can we not launch the simplest of orbital probes? These fools fail to understand the difficulty of finding the appropriate materials on this Planet, of developing adequate power supplies, and creating the infrastructure necessary to support such an effort. In short, we have struggled under the limitations of a colonial society on a virgin planet. Until now." —Col. Corazon Santiago, Planet: A Survivalist's Guide, Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri

"So off you go into outer space after Rinoa. Nope, they don't have working radios in this world, but the space programme is decades ahead of ours!" —Spoony on Final Fantasy VIII

"Whoa, whoa, what's this? Are you kidding me? Are we using tape-reel computers? Noooo...Wait, are those slots for punch cards? [...] Jesus Christ, I think that is a punch card slot." —Gordon Freeman, Freeman's Mind

Servant: I am a remote-controlled robot, detective. Jowd: What?! [beat] Jowd: Your country's use of technology... is just plain "off"! Servant: We get that a lot, detective. —Ghost Trick

We have castles, and swords, and crossbows -- and hydrofoils. —Comment on Castle Risk by a player

...instead of calling out a score of hands to man the stage, a couple of men and a hatful of steam lowered it from the derrick where it was suspended, launched it, deposited it in just the right spot, and the whole thing was over and done with before a mate in the olden time could have got his profanity-mill adjusted to begin the preparatory services. Why this new and simple method of handling the stages was not thought of when the first steamboat was built, is a mystery which helps one to realize what a dull-witted slug the average human being is. —Life On The Mississippi by Mark Twain