Serenity/Funny

At the beginning:

Wash: If Kaylee doesn't give us some extra flow from the engine room to offset the burn-through, this landing is gonna get pretty interesting.
Mal: Define "interesting".
Wash: "Oh God oh God we're all gonna die"?
Mal: [over intercom] This is the Captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we might experience some slight turbulence, and then… explode. [to Wash] Can you shave the vector?
Wash: I'm doing it, it's not enough.
Mal: Well, just get us on the ground.
Wash: That part'll happen pretty definitely!

"We're gonna explode? I don't wanna explode!"

As River fights in the bar:

Fanty: Do you know that girl?
Mal: I really don't.

Kaylee after Simon confesses his feelings for her:

Simon: In all that time on the ship... I've always regretted... not being with you.
Kaylee: With me? You mean to say... as in sex?
Simon (flustered): I... mean to say.
Kaylee: To Hell with this. I'm gonna live!

When they enter the bar:

Kaylee: It's been going on a year now I ain't had nothin' betwixt my nethers that weren't run on batteries!
Mal: Oh god! I can't know that!
Jayne: I could stand to hear a little more.

After the Reaver chase at the beginning:

Simon: River! Are you alright?
River: I swallowed a bug...

This exchange:

Mal: Do you want to run this ship?!
Jayne: Yes!
Mal: Well...[beat] you can't!

Those grenades Mal didn't want Jayne to take along... one Reaver ship later:

Jayne: "Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?"

A guard at the company the crew is robbing asks for a password. Jayne fires his machine gun.

"Okay!"

- The guard then discussing where he wants to be shot (so he can avoid punishment for allowing the robbery to take place), with him and Mal debating the merits of a bullet through various areas of human anatomy.

Mal: The leg is good, it'll bleed plenty, and we avoid any necessary organs.
Guard: I was thinking more of a graze...
Mal: Well, you don't want it to look like you just gave up.

Jayne calling for Mal when the Reavers arrive:

Every heist he's gotta start yellin' my name!

Ahem... Ceiling River. That is all.
‎"I've staked my crew's life on the theory you're a person, actual and whole. And if I'm wrong, you'd best shoot me now." *click* "… or… we could talk more."
"Zoe, ship is yours. Remember, if anything happens to me, or you don't hear from me within the hour, you take this ship and you come and you rescue me!
"Yes, I've read a poem. Try not to faint."
When the Operative and Mal first meet, and Mal tries to goad him:

The Operative: Captain Reynolds, I should tell you so that you don't waste your time; you cannot make me angry.
Inara: Please, spend an hour with him.

At the heist at the beginning, they open the safe door... only to find almost nothing in it.

Zoe: At last, we can retire and give up this life of crime.

Back to Serenity