So Bad It's Horrible/Fan Works/Fanfic A-D

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

Important Note: Merely being offensive in its subject matter is not enough to justify a work as So Bad It's Horrible. Hard as it is to imagine at times, there is a market for all types of deviancy (no matter how small a niche it is). It has to fail to appeal even to that niche to qualify as this. Any descriptions that fail to imply anything but offensiveness will be deleted.

Corollary: Quite a bit of this fanfiction will either be Not Safe for Work, Not Safe For Life, or a combination of the two. You have been warned.

What happens when you combine writing with a word processor and an internet connection? This happens.

As an "author", I try to take what you might see as a BAD situation and turn it into a GOOD thing. A "romantic" thing, if you will. I will try to take the worst, most appalling things imaginable, and, (if I write the story to the best of my ability), actually make you wish you were there.

      • Clearly, the author failed at that...
  • Chibi Usa's 7th Birthday. (explicit sex including pedophilia and parent/child incest, brutal rape, and a lot of physical impossibility)
    • Fandom: Sailor Moon.
    • Pairing: Chibi-Usa / absolutely everyone, plus random pairings in the background.
    • Synopsis: All the Sailors and Tuxedo Mask (her father) decide to give Chibi-Usa a "special" birthday celebration.
    • Comments: One of the classic contenders for worst fanfic ever written back in the late nineties. Along with the brutality (the crying, the bleeding), the sheer anatomical impossibility of most of what's described (has the author seen a human being, ever?), and the fact that by the end, she likes it, there's spelling and punctuation errors, terrible formatting, and the robotic description of what gets stuck where when... Now we know what you're thinking — "Oh, it's just a badly-written porn fic. I can handle it." No, you can't. You really can't. Don't read it as a joke, don't read it out of curiosity, don't try to MST it with your friends — don't read it. Ever.
  • Cloud Mows the Lawn (protective MST here) (bad writing, failed logic, explicit sex, scat)
    • Fandom: Final Fantasy VII
    • Pairings: Cloud/Tifa/turd
    • Synopsis: Cloud mows the lawn with Tifa watching him. She gets so engrossed in watching him that she craps on the floor. Then he comes in and discovers that he likes scat, too. Sex ensues.
    • Comments: Possibly the most dramatic case of a Non-Indicative Name in the history of fanfic: the fic starts with Cloud mowing the lawn but progresses in such a way that the reader wishes it had stayed there. Cloud simply mowing the lawn would have been boring as hell, but it wouldn't have been Cloud Mows the Lawn - and this would have been a good thing. This isn't just included for the Squick; it's poorly written, and the set-up could hardly be more illogical and contrived. Who takes a dump while watching their lover mow the lawn and thereby discovers a scat fetish?
      • The crazy thing is, it doesn't even promote scat well! It almost looks like a satire of scat porn... as if that needed to be satirized. Seriously, "Gassy poo"? And it's a twenty-year-old woman in the story saying it! What.
      • It says something when even Bennet The Sage says it's utterly disgusting.
      • Aerith comes back to life in one chapter just to squat down and crap next to Tifa. It's an odd reason to rise from the dead.
  • The Coming of Munihausen, by The Great Red Serpent (explicit sex, Gorn, Canon Defilement, Character Derailment, Naughty Tentacles. necrophilia, bad writing, more rape than you can shake a stick at, crossover)
    • Fandom: Sailor Moon/Urotsukidoji crossover
    • Pairings: Thirty Stu Pileup/all of the Senshi
    • Synopsis: Faust wants to steal the Ginzuishou so he can kill the Overfiend and take his place. To do this, he drags the Sailor Senshi, Mamoru, and Chibi-Usa into the future. Sex, mayhem, and Naughty Tentacles ensue.
    • Comments: This fic is a crossover between Sailor Moon and Urotsukidoji (aka "Legend of the Overfiend"). In case that isn't bad enough: Throughout the entire fic, the Senshi are raped in every possible way by a horde of Marty Stu tentacle demons who are almost always conveniently immune to the Senshi's attacks. Even Mamoru doesn't get off scot-free -- he is raped by a couple of rednecks. When not getting raped, the Senshi are practically throwing themselves at the Author Avatar and his Marty Stu friends - one of whom has healing necrophiliac sex with Sailor Pluto's corpse. IKEA Erotica all around - sometimes literally, like when Usagi uses a bedpost as a dildo. Finally, the author claims to be Lakota, but his Lakota is off; and people speak it reflexively even though both of the series this fic is tied to are set in Japan (Gratuitous Lakota, now that's a new one).
  • *Currently Unnamed* (Self-Insert Fic, Dark Fic, character death, crossover) NOTE: link leads to a superior MST of it.
    • Fandom: Super Mario Bros., with some Pokémon and a dash of Star Wars.
    • Pairing: Marty Stu/girlfriends
    • Synopsis: WATCH the blatant Author Avatar Marty Stu pull random powers out of his ass (including catching a Bob-omb with a pokeball) to save his incredibly bland girlfriends he created! SEE Mario & friends get kidnapped by Bowser in a completely unrelated plot with no explanation, only for Mario to be killed when Wendy Koopa kisses him. SCREAM at the depressing and idiotic plot that only serves to kill off half the Koopa kids and get them sent to heaven, where one of them fights a black smoke monster (no relation to Lost)! BE AMAZED at the Marty Stu following the random kidnappers of his girlfriend using ships from Star Wars!
    • Comments: From one of the authors of A Haunting Past comes this pile of sludge. GASP at how the entire thing seems like three terrible unrelated stories crammed together. Follow the link to see the "amazing" show! (For the record, the fic was never finished).
  • Defying Destiny (Relationship Sue, Jerk Sue, Character Derailment (And HOW), Bad Writing, immense overuse of the word "strutted".)
    • Fandom: Twilight series
    • Pairing: Edward-Mary Sue, anti Bella-Edward
    • Synopsis: Wait, there's a plot? All it really is is the author's blatant Sue STRUTTING through Forks High School while Edward proceeds to fall in love with her. Typical crappy Self Insertion plot ensues. Includes a completely random and asskicking sequence in the first chapter involving the main character (Serenity Winters) beating up 3 random muggers, a scene existing for no reason other than to show off how strong Serenity is, never again mentioned in the story.
    • Comments: This particular author went on a rant fest on other Sue writers fics about how their work was "insulting to a proper writer like [herself]" and used her story as an example of good writing. Enough said.
  • Diamond Pokemon (bestiality, explicit sex, biology fail, pedophilia, slash, femmeslash, Character Derailment)
    • Fandom: Pokémon
    • Pairings: Many.
    • Synopsis: Dawn goes on a journey and has sex with Anything That Moves.
    • Comments: Just look at the first chapter. It's simply an index of what kind of sex occurs in each chapter. One of them was "M/M/F/F, F/F, anal, oral, toys, femslash while guys perform anal on them". And there's tons of bestiality. And there's a talking Bidoof.