Solitary/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


Season One

  • Number 5's repeatedly shocked, horrified reactions to several tests and treatments, especially the horror movie test ("OH LORD! OH LORD! OH GOD! WHY?!") and "extreme solitary." The poor man seemed to find everything that VAL did to be incredibly disturbing, yet still made it all the way to the final treatment.
  • During the rubber-ball-counting test: "Guests, I hope I do not distract you by talking to myself." The comedic timing of Number 3's immediate reaction just makes it.

Season Two

  • Number 9, flat out. After Number 7 goes and "handicaps" Number 9 with an extra round in an early treatment, Number 9 takes it personally and goes on to do "one more" each time to get back at Number 7. (In a later treatment, 9 also does an additional round to spite 7 after being told he's already the last person standing.)
    • Of course, Number 9 "earned" his reputation, given that one of the items he brought along was a blow-up doll. (Yes, that kind of blow-up doll. The camera has to blur a good bit of the doll out.)
    • Numbers 3 and 8 get in on the fun later, by each taking away one of 9's luxuries from the 50,000 Vallors Auction. (Number 7 already went and gave Number 9 an hour in the black box, WITH SIRENS!)
    • Number 9's impersonation of Number 7. "HOW DO YOU LIKE THE BOX, NUMBER 9? HOW DO YOU LIKE THE ALARMS, NUMBER 9?"
  • Number 8 taking himself down a peg:

"Are you afraid you have a small penis?! ... Oh, wait, I don't have a small penis."

  • During the ball gag treatment, Number 8 attempted to tell VAL "You son of a bitch!" in a muffled voice, to which VAL responded, "You want to give me a kiss?" He also declared, "This sucks!" to which VAL said in a cheery voice, "I agree . . . this rocks!"
    • Number 8's suffering in that treatment is comedically sociopathic. A particularly notable instance is when VAL allows him to retrieve a water bottle. "Now What??" "You tell me."

Season Three

  • VAL allowed the guests to make personal videos of themselves with a video camera. Afterwards, she then told each of them that their video diaries showed strong evidence that they were going insane. The only one who fell for it was Number 3, who became honestly worried that VAL was telling the truth. Shortly after, VAL revealed the truth. "This was not a test of sanity, but a test of gullibility."
  • Val in general gets a personality upgrade that seems to make her a lot more suggestive and willing to "come down" to the players' levels, even cursing at them in a few cases. Some of the better high points:

VAL:"For this next challenge, you must... sit on my face."

  • During the weight-matching test, after a montage of telling the guests they were "incorrect:"

VAL: Correct.
Number 3: Really?
VAL: No. I was just tired of saying "incorrect."

  • While arguing with Number 5 over an impending elimination (after an especially pathetic performance in the Treatment):
  • During an abrasive treatment:

Number 4: I'm suprised you're not making us do this treatment naked!
VAL: Watching that would be MY treatment.

Season Four

  • Season 4, the guests engaged in a treatment in which they had to sweat as much as possible and then collect the sweat, the winner being the one who collected the most. Most of the guests managed 2–6 vials of sweat; the winner, Number 8, got 25. When the rest of the guests heard about the ridiculous amount Number 8 got, their shocked expressions were hilarious. "25?! Did they pee in the thing?!"
    • Number 7 mentioned she hadn't sweated that much since she was locked in the trunk of a car. Cue Record Needle Scratch and VAL's monitor reading TMI.
  • One of the guests requesting a cigarette, and VAL complying by giving them one . . . without a lighter.
  • Number 6 won a challenge and got a bowl of peanuts and two beers as a prize. VAL then allowed the other guests the chance to beg Number 6 to share, with VAL as the go-between. However, VAL intentionally misinterpreted their messages, so Number 2's request of "Will you please share your peanuts with me?" became, "Will you please share your penis with me?" After he realized the misunderstanding, Number 2 tried to correct it, specifying that he'd said peanuts. VAL then reported the correction to Number 6. "Number 2 actually wants your nuts."
  • The guests were asked to hit a punching bag a certain number of times and report their score, with the one who reported the highest score getting a hot chicken dinner. Number 2 made up the ludicrously impossible number of 50,999,999,999 hits, and won the challenge. However, when he went to claim his prize, he found a tasteless vitamin block instead of a chicken dinner, and exploded with outrage, demanding to know where the prize he was promised was. VAL then responded, "You lied during my challenge, so I thought I would lie to you as well." Meanwhile, everyone but him got the dinner he was promised.